Husband left me because of weight. NEW motivation.
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you can do it... your awesome!!0
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Oh darling! My heart breaks for you! You deserve someone who loves you for whatever size you are! Its what is inside that counts, not the outward appearance. You are going so well so keep it up and go to that wedding looking wonderful and show him what he missed out on by not supporting and staying with you! I wish you all the very best and promise you that the right man is out there for you somewhere! He will turn up when you least expect it! Chin up and keep doing what you are as its obviously working! Big hugs! :flowerforyou:0
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wow, that is insane...I have gained about 40 pounds since my husband and I started dating...not ONE single time has he made any comment other than "you look beautiful"
true love only sees beauty no matter what....his actions with you disgust me, and he certainly doesn't deserve to be happy, and won't be.
I'm 22 and can't imagine going thru that!
You def have the rest of your life and you will do fantastic because you now have the support of hundreds!!
I'm adding you and if you ever need anything or just to talk you'll have many people to do so with.
Mostly, do this change for yourself above all and let him feeling like the jerk he is. be a bonus
Good luck in your journey, many are behind you!0 -
A terrible story, but I am sure that excuse has been used by many.
When your young, looks tend to be all in a relationship, as you mature, that lessens,
whats important is that you can, communicate and enjoy things together with your partner.
I am sure you are devastated.
If you can, bounce back,
do not do it to show him, he is not that important.
Do it for yourself and your future.
Fat does not make a person ugly. Everyone has good and bad points. To focus on any one of them and use it as an excuse to leave is just wrong.0 -
This!! Only difference is I have been married to my hubby going on 22 years. You deserve better!!That's horrible, if he really cared he would have been more supportive. You go and show him now that you're going to lose weight and be even sexier!0 -
What an absolulte idiot. It's guys like him that give ALL guys a bad name. You can do this. You are very beautiful already, and can only get more so!0
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Quoted the wrong quote!0
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see marriage should be illegal0
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Only twenty, boy you do have the world ahead of you! I read your story, and you should just reclaim being happy with yourself, and love yourself. Good luck staying disciplined, I know it can be hard unless you create the proper social boundaries so that others don't influence your progress negatively.0
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My heart goes out to you, to have this happen when you are so young. I can only add to what is the overwhelming response - he is & was the problem; he used your weight as a justification for cheating / leaving - it says more about him than you. You will be better without him, and whislt it still hurts that he cheated and was not what you had hoped and dreamed for; one day you will feel strong and powerful and in control of your life and your own destiny. This is a start.
You have the most gorgeous eyes and face - and a caring personality - these things will not change, even when you lose weight and return to the UK. Do this for you; let go the emotional crap about this man, it will hurt you whilst you still care. Onwards and upwards, ((HUGS)) :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:0 -
When you see him at the wedding dont fall into any traps he is still a pig and will always be a pig0
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You do not deserve to be treated that way and I'm sorry that you did. I wish you the best of luck in your weight loss and I know you can do it. Things will go up from here, get that revenge bod!
You will find someone way better too! 0 -
I spent 10 years with a guy who put me down all the time. His nickname for me was 'fat queen', because, according to him, all I did was sit on my fat a** and eat.
Anytime I did lose a little weight, he would say he didn't notice any difference. Even worse, he would bring me home junk food, knowing I was trying to lose weight. I always caved and ate the food. Why? Because I just didn't care about myself and allowed him to get the best of me every time I tried to make changes.
He always told me no man would want me and to this day, I still believe it.
I finally left him in October 2011 and started my weight loss journey in November 2011. To make matters worse, I fell hard for another guy I met online (I know, stupid!) and he pretty much refused to meet me because of my weight- telling me he thought it might 'put him off'. He told me he didn't want to talk to me anymore and said I'd 'thank him' for it someday.
I know not all men are like this, but it's certainly had an impact on my self-esteem. However, I am sticking with my new lifestyle- because I am doing this for ME, no one else.
I know one day I will find a guy who loves me for me, not my weight- and, you will too.
I am so sorry you've had to go through this, but if your husband couldn't accept you for you, then he didn't deserve you.
Trust me, the healthier you get, the bettet you are going to feel about yourself and the more you'll realize how much better off you are without him.
I wish you the best of luck on your new journey
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Hey, know how you feel. Haven't been touched by my hubby for 3 years. #*ucking years. Thank God for electricity. But I love him. Won't leave him, nor cheat on him. But when I lose the weight, he will have to do some SERIOUS begging.0
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Im sorry for what happened. He wil regret it. Its his loss and your win, you will see that one day. Now its a new life for you and you back in the game. Keep your head up and focus on you now. You dont have to focus on him, just you. Do whatever you want to do and enjoy it. Now, just know, we all are here for you and believe in you. I wish you well and hang in there girl, you are young, strong, and will do anything you want to do.0
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He didn't leave because of your weight - that was just his schmuck excuse that he used to justify his cheating to himself and to you. Forget about him and move on. Don't shed the weight because of something someone else said and/or did, do it for yourself because you want to be healthy.
You can and WILL do it without this ****wad - you don't need people like him in your life. And if he comes crawling back saying how great you look when you've dropped the weight, tell him where he can go shove it, because you are worth SO much more than that!0 -
So, he was fine when you were 200 but not 220? The guy's a jerk. I don't know what his MOS or rank are, but I work for the Army and there are a lot of negative views about women that get perpetuated in the units, especially with the lower enlisted guys and heavier MOS's... it's like a high school locker room that never ends. They're with each other all the time and some guys really lose perspective on what's normal and acceptable. That's not to say that what he did is okay, but it may provide some external explanation for his change in mentality. The way he treated you though is still 100% wrong and unacceptable.
Trying to lose weight for someone else just isn't a good idea... you've got to do this for yourself and for the way it makes you feel. It sounds like you were depending on your ex to make you feel good about yourself. You've got to find a way to feel good about yourself on your own. If you depend on others for that, you'll never find balance and consistency and peace with yourself.
Stay strong and concentrate on finding your own way.
I know you're hurting right now and your thoughts and feelings are probably fluctuating wildly between anger, sadness, depression, motivation, loneliness, relief and more. Settle in and concentrate on you for a while. I got divorced (NOT my idea) and it's taken me about 2 years just to learn to really feel comfortable being by myself. I had always been with someone and I know I looked to my boyfriends and husband to make me feel good about myself instead of having that feeling come from within. I hated being by myself at first because it was SO uncomfortable. But once I got it down, I love it and I'm the happiest I've ever been.
You're only 20... let him go and work on figuring out who you really are and what you want from your life. Be open to anything. Sometimes it's surprising to find that what we thought we wanted in life, really isn't.
Good luck to you with your weight loss and your journey to making a better place for yourself.
Jen0 -
your dh is an *kitten*.....he cheated because he has issues , not because of you ...he is using you as the problem so he isnt accountable for his actions (look at al the skinny, talented, rich famous women who are cheated on) but it was his decision and its his fault not yours.
good luck in your journey and i hope you find a decent, trustworthy man along the way 0 -
Dude, you were at 20. it's likely your hubs just didn't want to be married anymore, hence his nastiness. Ignore him and enjoy your life!0
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I had one of those...a jerk, i mean... Im 30 and I know Im not much older then you, but trust me, there are some really nice guys out there who will love you no matter what, thick or thin. Keep your head up. And i know i probably shouldnt say this, but it feels so good when you do lose the weight and they eat their hearts out!0
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:noway:
There is no way that 40lb makes the difference between loving someone and not, this guy is an @$$wipe! He has turned his own guilt and insecurities around and tried to make it about you, when it truly isn't. He's just trying to make himself feel better about being a CU Next Tuesday :explode:
You are so young (can't believe I'm saying that to someone, god it makes me feel old now and I'm not yet 29 lol!) and deserve so much more than this.
Welcome, enjoy your journey here and outside of MPF, and don't for one second think that your husband being a jerkoff was anything to do with your weight. It's because he's a jerkoff, plain and simple.
:flowerforyou:0 -
Any man who would treat you like that is not worth it. He obviously doesn't know what love is. When you love someone, you stick by them and support them. You don't call them names and insult them. You love them for who they are and not what they look like. He, like most cheaters, is trying to blame you for his infidelity. There is no one to blame for that but him. I know it may not seem like it now, but it is good that he is out of your life. You deserve to be loved for the person you are.
As for your weight loss, I wish you luck. I hope that you are doing it for you and for your health and not for some shallow untrustworthy piece of crap.0 -
You are quite obviously a beautiful woman inside which is what counts and I bet you are beautiful on the outside too. I will always love my wife as my very best friend. I do my best to make her grow in every way she desires. I figure when you love somebody you should take their hand and along with them try to find out what love is all about together for the rest of your life together. That constant search in mutual respect is what my wife and I do. She's the greatest and I bet you are too. Hey, my wife and I have both had weight issues. I lose more hair as I age, she will grey with age. I will still be there by her side. Make sure to love yourself because you are sure worth it. Put yourself first and u will find someone who puts you first too!Thanks girls! I definitely will be doing so! For saying he's in the army, he's getting close to being kicked because HE'S gaining weight...! Karma!!!
I'm really excited though. It's not just about being healthy anymore. It's about being a gorgeous AND healthy woman!0 -
Kick him to the curb. You're worth ten of a jerk like that, no matter what your weight.0
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Sounds like he was trying to use any excuse to leave. What a toad. I just want to tell you to make changes for yourself and no one else. You are very lovely and deserve to be with someone who will love you. I think taking control of your weight is the first step into becoming yourself!
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As a fellow military wife..WHAT A ****ING JERK. First of all, he moved you to the other side of the WORLD, and didn't expect you to gain weight? You have no friends, are in a foreign country, and on top of that you're life is extremely stressful. It's not like the other wives are "friendly" either. lol. Everyone gains weight when you get married, it's a level of comfort!
You're doing great, and if you need any support feel free to add me. I gained about 60 pounds when I got married, and I'm on the journey to losing it. This website is helping me a lot! So chin up girl, he's a douche anyways.0 -
Thanks girls! I definitely will be doing so! For saying he's in the army, he's getting close to being kicked because HE'S gaining weight...! Karma!!!
I'm really excited though. It's not just about being healthy anymore. It's about being a gorgeous AND healthy woman!
You are better off without him. You go kick *kitten* and never look back!
Oh yeah and Karma is a *****. 0 -
My fiance and I started dating at my highest, but he has told me there is a limit and he was unsure if he could still be attracted to me at a higher weight. For that reason I understand where your hubby was coming from. sexual attraction is a huge part of a marriage, just as important as an emotional connection and respect of one another. That is where he loses me, respect and support build a marriage and he seems to not have either to spare for you. Doing this for you should be motivation enough and finding someone who cares for you no matter what after first loving who you are should be your goal. Good Luck!0
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Show him what he could have had if he'd stuck by you..you're gonna look great girly!0
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Uh he didn't leave you because of your weight...he left because he is an a$$hat! You needed to get rid of that dead weight anyway...good riddance to to that piece of crap. Erase him from your memory banks...you're 20, zits from your youth are easily forgotten...before long you won't even remember what he looks like.0
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