GUYS- - - Do you prefer a girl to have an appetite like your
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*reads through thread as men get bashed for giving their own personal opinion that they were asked for in the fist place*
Guys!! IT'S A TRAP!!!
This. Christ Almighty.. It kills me how no one is allowed to have their own opinions. Someone will always have a different opinion on how they feel about something. Why must people criticize?
For me, it's not just about different 'opinions'. It's about equality of the sexes. WHY must we have to have such crazy different standards by which we judge men vs. women? Why in the world do we judge the value of a women based on how much she eats in front of a guy?
I'm not trying to be inflammatory here... but in my opinion, judging a woman based on how much she eats is sexist. I feel annoyed at the men who do it... and I feel sorry for the women who do it.
I really just don't understand why our society must break down something as simple as FOOD and EATING into feminine and masculine qualities. It's just sad.
So yah... I get annoyed by 'opinions' that in anyway suggest that my actions are somehow inappropriate for my sex. That includes eating. That includes science and math.
I mean, we're not talking favorite colors here. We're not talking a preference for cars vs. trucks, high-heels or flats, and so forth... we're not even talking big boobs. I honestly don't have a problem with men liking big boobs or red heads or blondes or whatever. That doesn't bother me. But viewing a woman negatively because she EATS more food than a man? Wow. More than an opinion to me. That's sexism.
And that's my opinion :P
PREACH.
If a guy ever made a crack about how much I eat I would not think twice about leaving him alone at the restaurant/house without another word. It would be a deal-breaker for me. That's how whole EDs have started in my family. What I eat can only affect MY calorie count, fella. So don't worry your pretty lil head about it. What kind of insecure, silly little man would even...
Hell if a woman works manual labor like a man, she should be able to eat like one.0 -
I don't really care about how she eats. As long as she cooks and and has big tits I'm good.
Hahaha! Actually laughed out loud at this!! :laugh:0 -
Whenever I'm out with guys and get a salad I get harassed and they're always like "COME on, I know girls can eat way more that that." So I usually just get something normal and eat it all to avoid the comments.
It even looks funnier if she on the heavy side and she does that. You're just looking at her like, "yeah, that's how you eat, eh?"
I don't mean that in a mean way. But, seriously? It's so funny. i see it all the time. Women at work, very overweight, and they'll cut a donut in half. Yeah, if they were at home, they'd eat 4 of them, or more. I don't know, but I don't know why they put on that front.
Don't be so quick to judge. She may actually be trying to lose weight and is trying not to deprive herself. You can't always judge a person by their body weight.0 -
^thisI really just don't understand why our society must break down something as simple as FOOD and EATING into feminine and masculine qualities. It's just sad.0 -
This thread has been quite entertaining (although I haven't read all 9 pages!)
Honestly.. I don't care how much someone eats, and if they cared so much how I eat then I wouldn't be with them.
I used to have a MASSIVE appetite when I was younger. I still do in terms of the course of the whole day as I get hungry often, but I find it hard to eat huge meals in one sitting because I'm just not used to it anymore. If anyone said they find how much I eat a turn off I'd be thinking "wtf!?" I can understand if I'm eating so much, I'm putting on loads of weight from it and becoming overweight/obese, but a large appetite and staying slim? What's the problem?
I like that my bf eats more than me, but not from a turn on / off point of view. More so, that certain things I like eating (but not loads of) come in big packs that have a certain use by date. Sausages come to mind, I like sausages but I don't want to eat them everyday so that the whole 12 pack gets used up in time, I just fancied 3 for one meal, and now the rest has to be eaten soon. This is where the bf (and his ability to eat anything and everything!) come in handy. Same goes for restaurants, if I get given more than I can handle, "Here, you want to finish mine?" and it rarely goes to waste!
I wouldn't be put off him if he couldn't handle that much by any means, it's just a bonus!0 -
I agree with you Lolli.0
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Honestly? You want the honest truth?
I want her to have no appetite. Why? Because when we go to dinner, she can't finish her food and I get to eat it. I'm not even joking. I'm dead serious. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years and she is such a slow eater, quite thin, and gets full fast. I love, love, love eating out with her because I get 1/4-1/2 of her food. This benefits me greatly.0 -
I use to eat like a hog. Even when I was really thin. I remember at points in my life being 125-130 lb girl at 5'7 but eating like 2 hamburgers and 2 hotdogs at cookouts! lol That sounds utterly gross to me now! I use to eat almost as much as my 210 lb (at the time) 6'4 hubby. But now that I am watching my weight, I obviously don't eat that much anymore. However, I do look forward to getting to maintenance calorie status. lol0
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It doesn't bother me at all.0
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I haven't been on a date or had to worry about it for over 12yrs. But...... If I were taken to dinner and I ordered something yummy I would eat it,If I paid for it I wouldn't waste it, If he paid for it,I wouldn't waste it.If it was a first date I might choose carefully Since I am losing weight. But If we went somewhere why wouldn't I eat..that would be barbaric0
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I used to only order a salad and/or a soup or something pretty much starving myself when on a date. Maybe a small pasta dish. And yes, men ALWAYS commented on my food... and body size. Like it was open for discussion. There was always the "I know by your size you eat more than that." etc.
Then, yes, would eat some real food when I got home... because it was dinner and I was starving.
NOW... I really don't care anymore. I lift heavy and work out hard. Most the guys I have gone out with lately have been body builders or athletes themselves. They think nothing of it if I order a steak along side them. They can't say anything about my eating a lot, because most of them are eating 4000 calories a day.
I have actually stopped dating men who are not active or living a healthy lifestyle in some form or another. Main reason is they have something in common with me, but one reason is because they already understand the eating habits needed for someone building muscle.
I lived 20 years worrying that men (and women) would judge me for what I ate. I am tired of that!!
That makes me think of something....
More women judge me for what I eat and how much than men. I have had to remove women who used to be friends from my life because of how cruel they'd be about food. Trust me, no matter what a man is thinking about the amount of food a woman eats, women will not only judge, but say something about it.0 -
Honestly? You want the honest truth?
I want her to have no appetite. Why? Because when we go to dinner, she can't finish her food and I get to eat it. I'm not even joking. I'm dead serious. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years and she is such a slow eater, quite thin, and gets full fast. I love, love, love eating out with her because I get 1/4-1/2 of her food. This benefits me greatly.
:laugh: This the funniest thing I've read today.0 -
Doesn't matter0
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I used to only order a salad and/or a soup or something pretty much starving myself when on a date. Maybe a small pasta dish. And yes, men ALWAYS commented on my food... and body size. Like it was open for discussion. There was always the "I know by your size you eat more than that." etc.
Then, yes, would eat some real food when I got home... because it was dinner and I was starving.
NOW... I really don't care anymore. I lift heavy and work out hard. Most the guys I have gone out with lately have been body builders or athletes themselves. They think nothing of it if I order a steak along side them. They can't say anything about my eating a lot, because most of them are eating 4000 calories a day.
I have actually stopped dating men who are not active or living a healthy lifestyle in some form or another. Main reason is they have something in common with me, but one reason is because they already understand the eating habits needed for someone building muscle.
I lived 20 years worrying that men (and women) would judge me for what I ate. I am tired of that!!
That makes me think of something....
More women judge me for what I eat and how much than men. I have had to remove women who used to be friends from my life because of how cruel they'd be about food. Trust me, no matter what a man is thinking about the amount of food a woman eats, women will not only judge, but say something about it.
I do notice women's eating habits more than men's and have found myself trying to mirror them. At a meal at school I noticed all the skinny women were hardly eating and did likewise (except dessert
) and then threw it all up later, thanks to the alcohol :P
The same meal this year, I was sat with a very tall, thin colleague who had decided to eat everything she was served. I picked up the courage to say that I had never seen her eat well before (she will fill her plate, push the food around a bit, claim not to be hungry, and leave the table) and she said that she is often on a diet. I am kind of glad I said something, because it has been worrying me for some time, but if she does have an ED, I hope having mentioned it won't have made it worse.
We ARE social animals. While judging others' eating habits may be objectionable, I would argue that noticing them is fairly ingrained. While reading this thread I shared some poppadoms with my 4 year old, who constantly checked that his pieces were bigger than mine. He always watches us eat, to see if he might be able to claim some of his favourite foods (usually fish skin or fruit) from us. My brother would eat food he hated, just to make sure I couldn't have extra, just as I'm sure other mammals would.
I object to the idea that a man might object to how much I eat (with a maintenance kcal in the mid 2000s, this is fairly feasible), but he may be affected not only by conditioning/nurture, but by nature. Yes, it would be wonderful if logic would always triumph, but an awareness of what those around you eat may have evolutionary benefits, so is something that will stay with us.0 -
I used to only order a salad and/or a soup or something pretty much starving myself when on a date. Maybe a small pasta dish. And yes, men ALWAYS commented on my food... and body size. Like it was open for discussion. There was always the "I know by your size you eat more than that." etc.
Then, yes, would eat some real food when I got home... because it was dinner and I was starving.
NOW... I really don't care anymore. I lift heavy and work out hard. Most the guys I have gone out with lately have been body builders or athletes themselves. They think nothing of it if I order a steak along side them. They can't say anything about my eating a lot, because most of them are eating 4000 calories a day.
I have actually stopped dating men who are not active or living a healthy lifestyle in some form or another. Main reason is they have something in common with me, but one reason is because they already understand the eating habits needed for someone building muscle.
I lived 20 years worrying that men (and women) would judge me for what I ate. I am tired of that!!
That makes me think of something....
More women judge me for what I eat and how much than men. I have had to remove women who used to be friends from my life because of how cruel they'd be about food. Trust me, no matter what a man is thinking about the amount of food a woman eats, women will not only judge, but say something about it.
I do notice women's eating habits more than men's and have found myself trying to mirror them. At a meal at school I noticed all the skinny women were hardly eating and did likewise (except dessert) and then threw it all up later, thanks to the alcohol :P
The same meal this year, I was sat with a very tall, thin colleague who had decided to eat everything she was served. I picked up the courage to say that I had never seen her eat well before (she will fill her plate, push the food around a bit, claim not to be hungry, and leave the table) and she said that she is often on a diet. I am kind of glad I said something, because it has been worrying me for some time, but if she does have an ED, I hope having mentioned it won't have made it worse.
We ARE social animals. While judging others' eating habits may be objectionable, I would argue that noticing them is fairly ingrained. While reading this thread I shared some poppadoms with my 4 year old, who constantly checked that his pieces were bigger than mine. He always watches us eat, to see if he might be able to claim some of his favourite foods (usually fish skin or fruit) from us. My brother would eat food he hated, just to make sure I couldn't have extra, just as I'm sure other mammals would.
I object to the idea that a man might object to how much I eat (with a maintenance kcal in the mid 2000s, this is fairly feasible), but he may be affected not only by conditioning/nurture, but by nature. Yes, it would be wonderful if logic would always triumph, but an awareness of what those around you eat may have evolutionary benefits, so is something that will stay with us.
Be careful in judging what others eat in front of you for a particular meal. If you saw me eat around 4pm you'd be astounded. I do not eat like that for any other meal.0 -
I went to the Chinese Buffet with my husband tonight. I had four plates of food (mostly sushi) to his three plates of food. I'm sure divorce is on the horizon. :laugh:0
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I object to the idea that a man might object to how much I eat (with a maintenance kcal in the mid 2000s, this is fairly feasible), but he may be affected not only by conditioning/nurture, but by nature. Yes, it would be wonderful if logic would always triumph, but an awareness of what those around you eat may have evolutionary benefits, so is something that will stay with us.
I cannot think of any evolutionary drivers that could have possibly occurred during human history to cause appetite to be a sexual selection trait. If anything it is more likely to be the other way around... males selected smaller females because they are easier to provide for, hahaha. But, again, I don't think that's how the pre-historic mating system worked. I think all females have always been seen as potential mates. Male fussiness is an extremely new phenomenon.
The only other thing that I can think that could drive it is whatever drove the sexual size dimorphism. Males seem to like to use secondary sexual traits to double check that a female is really a female... less hair, breasts, smaller body, hips, etc. Mayyyybe eating less falls in there, but it's a long stretch.
Much more likely is inter-male social competition being projected onto females. Or, because we are adaptable creatures with very large brains, the most likely scenario is that a men have noticed the trend toward obesity, know that it is not a good thing, and when a guy sees a girl eating a lot thinks he thinks 'oh no, she might get fat. run away.'
The question is whether the collective conscious of male-kind is large enough to be able to fathom 'eating lots + lots of movement = healthy.'0 -
Really?
Really?
Who cares what men prefer? We shouldn't change our behaviors to what men prefer. We should behave how we want and the find a man who likes us for that. Seriously.
And yeah I was eating 3000+ over the winter.
Completely agree with this0 -
Wait a sec. Went back and re-read the OP post and she said that SHE hated when a guy ate LESS than her. How come no one jumped on her because of that? LOL!
lol... i did. i am indiscriminate in 'who' i jump on - if it makes no sense, it gets jumped on. my response was that if i were a really fit chick who needed to eat a lot, and my boyfriend were a busy vet student who truly couldn't get to the gym much at all (dated one, this scenario is plausible), then chances are high that i would make up the difference between our maintenance cals through cals burned. i'd have to eat more than him. if i took offence to him eating less than me, i'd be one mean girl to harass him for being a busy, smart boy.
There was one guy who made a good comment... he'd be concerned if he saw a woman putting away an amount that is obviously well over maintenance (say if she ate his 4000cals a day). i don't know any women who maintain that high, so i can see this being legit.
however, 'eating less is ladylike' is an entirely old world western construct, from what I can tell. it is 'ohhh she doesn't need to eat much and doesn't have short dirty fingernails. she must have a good dowry, i think i'll marry her.' meanwhile, in papua new guinea it was the women's job to hike up and down 800m of mountain every day to spend all day planting their gardens. in this particular tribe a woman who is a very hard worker is a very attractive woman.
ever hiked down and up 800m of tropical rainforest? it's not easy.
in general, the applications of 'feminine' actually translate to 'rich' back in ye olde england. they have no application today.0 -
I object to the idea that a man might object to how much I eat (with a maintenance kcal in the mid 2000s, this is fairly feasible), but he may be affected not only by conditioning/nurture, but by nature. Yes, it would be wonderful if logic would always triumph, but an awareness of what those around you eat may have evolutionary benefits, so is something that will stay with us.
I cannot think of any evolutionary drivers that could have possibly occurred during human history to cause appetite to be a sexual selection trait. If anything it is more likely to be the other way around... males selected smaller females because they are easier to provide for, hahaha. But, again, I don't think that's how the pre-historic mating system worked. I think all females have always been seen as potential mates. Male fussiness is an extremely new phenomenon.
The only other thing that I can think that could drive it is whatever drove the sexual size dimorphism. Males seem to like to use secondary sexual traits to double check that a female is really a female... less hair, breasts, smaller body, hips, etc. Mayyyybe eating less falls in there, but it's a long stretch.
Much more likely is inter-male social competition being projected onto females. Or, because we are adaptable creatures with very large brains, the most likely scenario is that a men have noticed the trend toward obesity, know that it is not a good thing, and when a guy sees a girl eating a lot thinks he thinks 'oh no, she might get fat. run away.'
The question is whether the collective conscious of male-kind is large enough to be able to fathom 'eating lots + lots of movement = healthy.'
This is interesting. I'll buy it. Yes... now this, I can fathom. Especially the newer consciousness of obesity. As well as male fussiness & inter-male social competition... just as women have all their nutty social competition going on.0 -
I was thinking the exact opposite question because I have a very small appetite and curious to know whether guys care about this.0
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it's not attractive for a girl to eat a like a man...but any girl in shape would most likely eat accordingly w\their weight.0
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I have no problem with the question or what the men answer.....0
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it's not attractive for a girl to eat a like a man...but any girl in shape would most likely eat accordingly w\their weight.
Any girl in shape... according to their weight. Not always true. It's more that you eat according to your ENERGY EXPENDITURE. It all depends on how much you do physically... I can easily out eat my husband. And we only have a 10 lb weight difference between us. He weighs 10 lbs more, but on days where I lift heavy, I will put down the food... so, "not attractive"??
Guess you aren't dating or married to a chick who lifts heavy weights or runs marathons... because she'd quickly become "unattractive" to you.0 -
Wait a sec. Went back and re-read the OP post and she said that SHE hated when a guy ate LESS than her. How come no one jumped on her because of that? LOL!
lol... i did. i am indiscriminate in 'who' i jump on - if it makes no sense, it gets jumped on. my response was that if i were a really fit chick who needed to eat a lot, and my boyfriend were a busy vet student who truly couldn't get to the gym much at all (dated one, this scenario is plausible), then chances are high that i would make up the difference between our maintenance cals through cals burned. i'd have to eat more than him. if i took offence to him eating less than me, i'd be one mean girl to harass him for being a busy, smart boy.
There was one guy who made a good comment... he'd be concerned if he saw a woman putting away an amount that is obviously well over maintenance (say if she ate his 4000cals a day). i don't know any women who maintain that high, so i can see this being legit.
however, 'eating less is ladylike' is an entirely old world western construct, from what I can tell. it is 'ohhh she doesn't need to eat much and doesn't have short dirty fingernails. she must have a good dowry, i think i'll marry her.' meanwhile, in papua new guinea it was the women's job to hike up and down 800m of mountain every day to spend all day planting their gardens. in this particular tribe a woman who is a very hard worker is a very attractive woman.
ever hiked down and up 800m of tropical rainforest? it's not easy.
in general, the applications of 'feminine' actually translate to 'rich' back in ye olde england. they have no application today.
I guess I thought it was ironic that she HATED when a guy ate less than her. Why? Is that because she thinks a guy SHOULD always eat more?0 -
it's not attractive for a girl to eat a like a man...but any girl in shape would most likely eat accordingly w\their weight.
sort of... but not quite. a fit woman is exactly the same as a fit man - we don't eat according to weight, we eat according to energy needs, which is determined by activity level.
like i said, it is entirely feasible for even a temporarily inactive man who is usually fit to have lower daily caloric needs than a very active girl. there are about 10million of these girls on my friends list - lean, hawt, strong, fast women who put away 2000-3000 cals daily. my lean, hot, strong ex-boyfriends did not eat that much - they barely ate more than me, and i gross 1500 cals on average.
why does this seem to need to be explained? men, you've got eyes and brains and in general you're not stupid or horrendously sexist. how about using a little bit more of that thinking power BEFORE telling a woman that 'eating lots is unattractive'. you're influencing the people around you when you answer in this way, at least try to bother to put a bit of thought into if you feel totally entitled to have an opinion about how much a woman should eat.
(seriously, why do men feel entitled to even have a general opinion on it!? i totally understand monitoring health factors as part of attraction, but appetite???)0 -
I love food but also gained 50 pounds because of it!! Don't hate because I like my woman to be healthy and fit!!!
I still love a good meal and I don't monitor a women portions!!
I am in a restaurant right now watching overweight women order Grand Slam breakfast!!0 -
Wow, guys, what's it like to have women actually care what you think of our APPETITES now?
Think about how silly this question would sound if the genders were turned around.
I can't even believe there are men who have an opinion on it too. Why would you even care, if you're already attracted to her in the first place?
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SERIOUSLY!!!!! Of all the sexist things to worry about this is the dumbest. It has nothing to do with how you even look! as if judging based on appearance was not stressful enough, now we have to worry about being judged if we "eat like a man" ?? What does that even mean?
no way, do not add this to the list of societal bull**** that stresses you out.0 -
Wait a sec. Went back and re-read the OP post and she said that SHE hated when a guy ate LESS than her. How come no one jumped on her because of that? LOL!
lol... i did. i am indiscriminate in 'who' i jump on - if it makes no sense, it gets jumped on. my response was that if i were a really fit chick who needed to eat a lot, and my boyfriend were a busy vet student who truly couldn't get to the gym much at all (dated one, this scenario is plausible), then chances are high that i would make up the difference between our maintenance cals through cals burned. i'd have to eat more than him. if i took offence to him eating less than me, i'd be one mean girl to harass him for being a busy, smart boy.
There was one guy who made a good comment... he'd be concerned if he saw a woman putting away an amount that is obviously well over maintenance (say if she ate his 4000cals a day). i don't know any women who maintain that high, so i can see this being legit.
however, 'eating less is ladylike' is an entirely old world western construct, from what I can tell. it is 'ohhh she doesn't need to eat much and doesn't have short dirty fingernails. she must have a good dowry, i think i'll marry her.' meanwhile, in papua new guinea it was the women's job to hike up and down 800m of mountain every day to spend all day planting their gardens. in this particular tribe a woman who is a very hard worker is a very attractive woman.
ever hiked down and up 800m of tropical rainforest? it's not easy.
in general, the applications of 'feminine' actually translate to 'rich' back in ye olde england. they have no application today.
I guess I thought it was ironic that she HATED when a guy ate less than her. Why? Is that because she thinks a guy SHOULD always eat more?
I hate it b/c I'm self conscious about it (& I'm working on that) b/c I've had a couple guys make comments on it, and one of them being my dad.. doesn't feel very good. I was in no way getting mad at guys for what they were saying, I was honestly curious.. idk why that's ironic to you but whatever floats your boat.0 -
If I was a guy, I would prefer a girl with a healthy appetite but who's also a naturally healthy weight. That means our potential kids would have a higher chance of having a higher metabolism. But what do I know, I'm not a guy:P
My husband and I are the same height but he weighs around 40 pounds more than me. He's not overweight but he's not thin. I'm just very skinny for my height but large framed. However, I do eat more than my husband but the types of food we eat are different. I eat healthier than him and avoid most carbs; he watches carbs as well but not as strictly as me. I hear it takes 1/3 of the calories from protein to digest it; therefore I can eat probably eat more calories than most and stay thin. I also hardly exercise, he runs a few times a week yet I can still out eat him and stay thin. He doesn't have a problem with me eating more since I'm nice and skinny:)
1 calorie doesn't necessarily equal 1 calorie. Appetite and calories (to an extent) do not have much to do with if someone is overweight or thin. I know people who eat very little protein and mostly all bad carbs and they eat far less than me, and they exercise. They probably eat around 1300-1500 calories where as I can easily eat 2500cals a day. Some of them are over weight and they're always wondering how I manage to stay thin although I eat way more than them. My diet primarily consists of cream, chicken, eggs, lean red meats, seafood, greens, berries, cheese, herbs and a bit of yogurt. No bread, rice, potatos, carrots, roots, fruit, pasta, condiments, beans, alcohol, juice, candy, junk food, processed food. I think what determines people's size is what you eat rather than how much you eat.0
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