is it "disrespectful" to not have kids?

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  • Twilightsunflower
    Twilightsunflower Posts: 330 Member
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    no your being honest. the people who said you are disrespectful should not be allowed to have kids themselves. no one should feel they have to have kids, unless they want to. i have a child and i love her more then my own life, which is good because she consumes it. and that is not a joke. kids take time and energy, more than anything else in life will.

    if you dont want kids dont have them, its still a choice.
  • clydethecat
    clydethecat Posts: 1,094 Member
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    i'm overwhelmed by all this response! thank you so much. i dont know why this upset me so much, but after all your wonderful responses, i feel so much better. its nice to know there are others like me. :).

    and thank you to all the parents who responded, i really appreciate you being supportive.
  • Brea_81
    Brea_81 Posts: 36 Member
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    I have 3 kids and love them to death. I've always known I wanted to be a mom and can't life without my kiddos. However, everyone has to make that decision for themselves. And no matter how strongly I feel about having kids, I would never consider someone else disrespectful or wrong for choosing not to have them. :)
  • danasings
    danasings Posts: 8,218 Member
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    How anyone can think that your choice is "disrespectful" is beyond me.

    Until I was 32 years old and married the right man, I didn't want kids either. Now I have two, and I have no regrets. Anyway, it's certainly better for you to decide that you DON'T want them rather than have them and say, "Oh, *kitten*, I hate these little brats." :tongue:
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,064 Member
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    Maybe they are unable to have children themselves, so they are upset that you are able to and aren't?
  • ahubbard134
    ahubbard134 Posts: 61 Member
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    What, exactly, did you post, Clyde? Just curious at how nonsensical that is. Maybe they took offense to a certain part of the post?
  • grassette
    grassette Posts: 976 Member
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    People need to realize that it is wrong not to have kids if you can. The world needs a next generation, and if everybody shirks that responsibility, it isn't going to happen. Fertility is a gift! Use it!

    Otherwise the same thing will happen to us as what happened to the shakers. They didn't want kids either, and now, they are gone, gone, gone.
  • justbecause2014
    justbecause2014 Posts: 371 Member
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    It's your choice, if you choose not to pop out babies, fine by me! :) It's no one elses buisness if you have kids or not. I personally have no interest in having biological children, not with the amount of foster kids looking for forever homes! Everyone is allowed their own choice!
  • Circa1964
    Circa1964 Posts: 225 Member
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    I "chose" to not have kids also. It just goes to show that some people live in their own little world and don't have the diversity to see things from a different perspective. It amazes me how many people just expect to have kids without really giving it much thought. It's a CHOICE people!
  • Circa1964
    Circa1964 Posts: 225 Member
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    People need to realize that it is wrong not to have kids if you can. The world needs a next generation, and if everybody shirks that responsibility, it isn't going to happen. Fertility is a gift! Use it!

    Otherwise the same thing will happen to us as what happened to the shakers. They didn't want kids either, and now, they are gone, gone, gone.

    You have GOT to be kidding me! Every thought about the world being a little overpopulated already? Geez.
  • momof8munchkins
    momof8munchkins Posts: 1,167 Member
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    My husband and I have 8 children and people don't understand our choice either.. they call us crazy, irresponsible, stupid... go figure I guess if you don't have the socially acceptable number of 1-2 children then your just wrong.
  • clydethecat
    clydethecat Posts: 1,094 Member
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    What, exactly, did you post, Clyde? Just curious at how nonsensical that is. Maybe they took offense to a certain part of the post?

    it was a conversation on private message about taking meds. i said i'm not having kids because i dont want to go off my meds. he said, wow, thats pretty disrespectful. i asked why, didnt get an answer back from him, but got two pm's from two women i didnt know well, saying i was a horrible *****, and how dare i look down on them.

    so they may have taken my reason for not having kids to mean that i was looking down on any one who did get pregnant and continued their meds or had to go off them.. i dont know. normally i would have told him to keep his opinion to himself. i think i was jsut feeling sensitive today. and the disrespectful thing threw me.
  • leomom72
    leomom72 Posts: 1,798 Member
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    i know plenty of people who dont want kids..my little cousin was one of them, and she ended up getting pregnant, and now she cant believe she ever not wanted them..getting married is what she now claims she will never do, even tho she has been with the same man for plenty of years:wink: anywho, if you dont want kids, dont have them, and dont let other people make you feel bad for YOUR choice..good luck, cheer up:flowerforyou:
  • clydethecat
    clydethecat Posts: 1,094 Member
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    People need to realize that it is wrong not to have kids if you can. The world needs a next generation, and if everybody shirks that responsibility, it isn't going to happen. Fertility is a gift! Use it!

    Otherwise the same thing will happen to us as what happened to the shakers. They didn't want kids either, and now, they are gone, gone, gone.

    i'm glad you responded to this. i firmly do not believe that we all need to have kids. the world population will not be shrinking any time soon. i would rather not have kids then have kids and not be a good mom.

    there are so many kids out there that need homes because their parents should not have had kids.

    thank you for your post. i respectfully disagree with your premise. :)
  • Jellyphant
    Jellyphant Posts: 1,400 Member
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    What a stupid thing for them to get mad at you about. It's your uterus, isn't it? Not everyone adores those screaming, constantly sticky little humans...
  • DisneyAddictRW
    DisneyAddictRW Posts: 800 Member
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    My sister loves kids. She helps me with daycare as a part time job. However she doesn't want to have kid's. I think it's a person's choice and who am I to judge what they want. Some people don't agre with people having big families. Honestly you know what is best for you and no one else should judge you for that choice.
  • angemarie23
    angemarie23 Posts: 55
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    Of course it's not disrespectful to not want kids. That's ridiculous. However some people who feel this way give reasons that insult those who do want kids. One example is a woman who told me she doesn't want kids because it's selfish to have kids. Now that I had a problem with - not a problem with her not wanting kids, but a problem with the fact that she judges others who do want kids by saying they're selfish. I'm sure you didn't insult anyone but just giving an example.

    Exactly. Unless you said something to someone who has or wants children that would make them feel less than worthy because they wanted children...then simply not wanting children in itself isn't disrespectful or selfish.
  • Changing__Christina
    Changing__Christina Posts: 247
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    Keep in mind I didn't read this entire thread, but I wanted to say...I find it disrespectful when people DO have children and then don't take care of them and expect me and my tax dollars to pay for them. I would rather most of these horrible parents go childless. That isn't disrespectful at all. It is responsible!
  • amalthea23
    amalthea23 Posts: 44 Member
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    It's disrespectful TO THE KIDS and to yourself to have them for any reason other than your desire to make parenting the central focus of your life. Whomever that was, too bad THEIR parents weren't more "disrespectful."
  • wdwghettogirl
    wdwghettogirl Posts: 559 Member
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    on another website forum, i just got b****ed out for not wanting to have kids. i was really taken aback and i gave my reasons. what i got back was three different people saying i'm horrible for not wanting kids and its very disrespectful to not have kids. they really got mean.

    i dont think i'm "disrespectful" or horrible. my reasons for not wanting kids are well thought out. i dont think anyone should have kids unless they want to. i used to be in child care and i love kids. i think other peoples kids are great. i just know i'm not going to be a good mom and i shouldnt be made to feel bad about that.

    maybe i'm just being sensitive.

    OMG! I posted something about not wanting kids on facebook and it turned into a HUGE ordeal! People calling names, taking sides... nothing at ALL about what was even in my original post. It was ridiculous! Even my own brother was calling me ignorant and taking everything I said personally like I was attacking him... you'd think I had just said "Hey bro, I hate your kids!" *Ugh!*

    I 100% agree with you that you shouldn't have kids unless you want them, are ready for them, and can support a family. No one should have children out of obligation, or guilt, or "All my friends are having babies, I guess I should too." I, personally, think it's disrespectful and irresponsible for people TO have babies when they aren't prepared, or for a lame reason (like "obligation").

    You have your reasons. They are legitimate. People need to respect that, and respect your decision, because it is, after all, YOUR decision (and your SO... should be a team thing. lol) You're not a horrible person, you're not disrespecting anyone... people just need to mind their own damn business!

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