If you are an only child please open-quick question

pregmeg119
pregmeg119 Posts: 151 Member
edited December 18 in Chit-Chat
Quick Poll please!

My fiancee and I are undecided if we want to have another little one, our daughter is months away from turning 6 and keeps asking for a baby sister.

**Question: As an only child, did you prefer it just being you and your parent(s) or would you have liked to have a sibling?**

Disclosure: The results of your opinions are not a binding contract as to whether or not I get knocked up again ;)

Thank you in advance for your help!
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Replies

  • SAC0O3
    SAC0O3 Posts: 95
    I was sort of an "only child". My brother is 10 years older than me, so even now we don't really talk. I worry the age gap is already too big (this is just my opinion though) but they would end up being nearly 7 years apart. So if they are anything like me and my brother, they wont really feel like "siblings". I love the guy, but he moved out by the time we were able to actually have conversations and now we just see each other on holiday. So, if you are going to have another child, just remember that. The age gap may be too big. This doesn't go for everyone though!
  • FrostyFour
    FrostyFour Posts: 262
    It was nice not having to share anything... but I didn't have anyone my age to play with or tell secrets to!
  • pregmeg119
    pregmeg119 Posts: 151 Member
    Thank you for your help, that is part of my opinion as well. We have a September wedding planned so at the very least they would be about 7 years apart if I got pregnant right after the wedding.

    My dad remarried and had children with my stepmom and I am 13 years older than them. They come to have sleepovers at my home and play with my daughter but don't talk much to me now, hopefully they can rely on me for tough questions when they are teenagers.
  • steadk
    steadk Posts: 334 Member
    I have found that into adulthood, i have stayed a loner because i was always with my mom and more mature for my age than most of my friends with siblings. We plan on giving our daughter a sibling one day, just gotta there lol
  • SpeedChick21
    SpeedChick21 Posts: 4 Member
    I'm an only child and honestly, I liked it. I had enough time spent with friends and family when I was younger and had lots of hobbies so it didn't really bother me too much. I occupied myself pretty easily with my horses. Might be different for someone with less hobbies or stuck in town.
  • Tropical_Turtle
    Tropical_Turtle Posts: 2,236 Member
    I was an only child. Sometimes it got lonely and wish I had someone to be with other than myself. But the upside to being an only child - I was able to entertain myself.

    I am actually thankful now I was an only child.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Love your disclaimer :)

    I have one child - He's 5. There is very little chance of my ever having another. I say, if you can get knocked up and choose that route, better sooner than later? They'll already have a decent age gap, but doesn't mean they won't be awesome friends (especially as adults).

    Heck, go procreate! Or at least practice :)
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    I am not an only child, but, my parents had my brother when I was six. I begged and begged and begged for them to have another kid. I am pretty sure I would do it over again....
  • April0010
    April0010 Posts: 178 Member
    I totally wished I had a sister growing up to play with.
  • pregmeg119
    pregmeg119 Posts: 151 Member
    It was nice not having to share anything... but I didn't have anyone my age to play with or tell secrets to!

    Thanks for sharing, I understand this as well but my fiancees two brothers also had two little girls a few months younger than our daughter so she does have cousins the same age. However, one of his brothers had another little girl and i think that is what sparked my daughters interest in having a little sister like her cousin does...
  • robinogue
    robinogue Posts: 1,117 Member
    my son is the only child. early on when people would ask him did he want a brother/sister he quickly replied "NO"... All through his young life people would ask me when I was having another child, he would quickly chime in "NEVER" lol needless to say he's 25 know and doesn't regret being the only child. He says he got more, didn't have to share me or his stuff haha
  • LilysMom28
    LilysMom28 Posts: 236 Member
    there are pros and cons to being an only child. I didn't have anyone to play with a lot of the time and was never able to have that bond that so many siblings have. I grew up really fast too because I was always around adults and I'm very independant as well.

    Good luck on which ever you decide to do. Your daughter will grow up great regardless!! :)
  • AmberJslimsAWAY
    AmberJslimsAWAY Posts: 2,339 Member
    Not an only child, and please don't be offended, but IME only children have a problem with being entitled. I just got out of a 3 year realtionship with one. a 29 year old man, didn't know how to stand on his own two feet without his mommy and daddy helping him and they "SHOULD DAMN IT!"
  • Kris1997
    Kris1997 Posts: 241
    I am an only child. Im my case, sometimes I would have liked someone around to talk to, to relate to. But in my situation I'm glad i was singleton because raising 2 kids would have been harder on my Mother as a single parent. To each their own. I have 2 kids, and 1 full time "step" child. I have 3, sometimes I don't understand why they fight over the dumbest things. then my husband reminds me, "your and only child, you wouldn't get it." LOL
  • scarlieoh
    scarlieoh Posts: 18
    I'm an only child and therefore a solitary creature. I would probably have been better off with siblings. Of course at the time I enjoyed it, but I was really spoiled and selfish and therefore now I have some social problems...

    I'm glad I'm an only child and everything but looking back I would have probably been a better person if I had grown up with siblings.
  • myak623
    myak623 Posts: 615 Member
    It was nice not having to share anything... but I didn't have anyone my age to play with or tell secrets to!

    You needed more imaginary friends.

    Honestly, I've been asked several times whether it would've been nice to have a brother or sister. I actually can't answer the question since I have no idea.

    I do think there are pros and cons. Since we have 3 kids now, I see that relationship they have and I think the pros out weigh the cons.
  • WhitneyT586
    WhitneyT586 Posts: 279 Member
    I was an only child for 9 years. I'm 25 and my sister is 16. She is such a joy in my life. Until she does something I don't approve of. But I think that is all siblings. The older one is always going to try to boss the younger one. I will admit that sometimes I feel more like I'm trying to be a parent than a sister, but then there are times when only a sister will do and those are the times I appreciate the most. You should do what is right for you and your family. If you want another child, go for it.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    That's a difficult question to ask because as an only child I don't know what it would have been like to have a sibling. I liked my life as an only just fine, though.
  • j9mc
    j9mc Posts: 1
    I am an only child and to this day I wish I had had siblings. My mum was a single mum and very hands off, so I spent a lot of time on my own, not learning how to socialise properly, despite joining lots of sports activities etc. My advice would be to def try for another one. I understand the concern about the age difference though.
  • ttillman19
    ttillman19 Posts: 54 Member
    I am an only child. When I was little I wanted a brother or sister because then could share the chores and blame someone when I was not on my best behavior. However, I did not have to share attention. My mom was mostly a single parent, so time with her was not something I wanted to have to share. Looking back it would have been nice to have someone to be able to talk to and lean on. My husband and I had this very same converstation a few years ago. Glad we stuck with just one. I have time to give him the attention that he needs and feel another one would have made it very difficult to do that because of my husband's brain injury he sustained after our decision was made. Your daughter will have to give up some of your attention, your time, share toys, and not be the "baby" any longer.
  • birdielosingit
    birdielosingit Posts: 34 Member
    I am only child, and I love it!! There are times I wish that I had a sibling, but mostly I am glad that I don't.
  • dmoses
    dmoses Posts: 786 Member
    I'm an only child, and, while I liked it as a kid sometimes, as an adult it is very frightening to know that I alone am responsible for taking care of my elderly parents. I also think that is one of the reasons why I am not a very social person now!

    Go on! Have another kid!!!
  • pregmeg119
    pregmeg119 Posts: 151 Member
    Love your disclaimer :)

    I have one child - He's 5. There is very little chance of my ever having another. I say, if you can get knocked up and choose that route, better sooner than later? They'll already have a decent age gap, but doesn't mean they won't be awesome friends (especially as adults).

    Heck, go procreate! Or at least practice :)

    Thanks :) That's why I am starting to panic, I was actually preparing to get rid of all of our daughters old clothes and such and the commitment of not having these baby necessities scares me. Although, fiancee and I are both undecided and I feel like if we aren't 100% all about it, it's not a good idea.
  • DawnMarieMomofTwo
    DawnMarieMomofTwo Posts: 186 Member
    i was an only child untill my mom remarried and had another child by this time it was to late because i was 17yrs old.. so i would say im an only child. or at least was most of my life and it was very lonely!!! i wished i had another sibling to play with!! right now i have 2 kids and boy im i glad because they both keep eachother busy even though my oldest is 4 1/2 and my youngest is 9mo they both ejoy eachother very much! and for you with a 6yr old at home she will be able to help you a TON with the baby!
  • Monicamarkt
    Monicamarkt Posts: 22 Member
    I would have loved a sibling when I was a child but once I discovered not sharing and travelling a lot I loved being an only child. It does make it more difficult when you get married tho, especially if they have siblings and you have to share their time with others. You just don't get used to sharing and *can* be very selfish.
  • victoriaannewilliams
    victoriaannewilliams Posts: 64 Member
    There were times I loved being an only child, but then there were times that I wish I had a sibling to play with. Plus, it also will help with your daughter not being selfish. As an only child I thought the world revolved around me, and that I was the best person on this planet lol. Now, having a daughter of my own I definitely want her to have siblings so she won't have that mindset.
  • tkcasta
    tkcasta Posts: 405 Member
    Depends, as an only child who now has aging parents, it's really hard being alone - all the burden is mine, I have to make all the decisions and go through everything with them by myself (thank god for BFFs). Also, anytime there was anything going at home I had no one to share that with. I also wish I would have had someone to be with on vacations and things like that.

    However, you should only have another kid if you want one, not because your daughter wants one.

    Edit: I just wanted to add that I'm literally the last person in my family so if I don't have kids I'm going to go extinct, and I find that to be a lot of pressure.
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    I have a sister who is 7 years older. She took care of me and looked after me, and we had (in general) a fairly good relationship, but of course as she got into her pre-teens, she didn't want me bugging her so much. I still wanted to play imaginary games and she wanted to do anything else not involving me. Haha. But I was glad to have someone who could take me to the community swimming pool and go to the park with me. I think she even helped me develop my intellect because she was a little older and we would talk about things like science, biology, etc

    In my experience only, kids are more well balanced if they have siblings, even with an age gap. I am probably biased because my ex was an only child, and ended up completely selfish and spoiled. My current BF has two older sisters and is very good at communicating. That is only my experience though, I'm sure I even have friends who are only children and I'm not aware who would be living contests to that mindset.
  • saturnine15
    saturnine15 Posts: 140
    I feel like I was almost an only child. I was 12 when my only brother was born. We don't have the typical sibling relationship. I can't really relate to people who have siblings close to them in age, as we never had any sibling rivalry or anything like that. I do wish that I'd had more patience with him when I was a teen and he was little. I love him to death and am happy my parents decided to have him. It is a joy to see him when I do.
  • RisiM
    RisiM Posts: 180 Member
    I was an only child and when I got to 11 or so was desperate to have a sibling, even now I still think I would have wanted a brother or sister, especially when I see how close my daughters girls are to each other. My children had no aunts/uncles/cousins, till they were grown-up, when my husband (only child) found his (long-lost) dad had remarried and had 2 more boys, who both have children.
    I may not have liked to have had to share as a child, but I do think it helps you to develop relationships, given my time again I'd want to be part of a bigger family, especially Christmas & birthdays.
    I have four children, 5 grandchildren - the more the merrier I say :)
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