If you are an only child please open-quick question

I am not an only child. I am the oldest of 5. Yes....5.....but my daughter IS an only child.

To be honest when she was 5-6 she was bugging me about having another baby, (which is never going to happen sorry sweetheart) but now she's VERY happy getting her mom all to herself.

She also likes the luxuries afforded to her by being an only child. She's watched her cousins grow up and noticed that they often do without things that she gets to have because there is less to go around.

To my little girl, being an only child now means, shopping sprees, trips, big vacations, as many dance/extracurricular activities she wants, possibly private school in the next year or two if she still wants it.

The other consideration however is that, my daughter has a peer group that has quite a few only children, so there is that bonding commonality that allows them to have the same lifestyle....

something that wouldn't be true if she wasn't an only child.

it's demographics really that play a huge part in her loving her only child status.

Lauren

You've already gotten a lot of responses, but I'll toss in my two cents.

I've got a weird sibling structure. My mom had my oldest sister when she was 18, my next sister when she was 22, and my brother when she was 27. I was born when she was 42. My oldest sister had her first child before I was born (I have a niece who is a year older than I am, and two more nieces and 3 nephews, all told they range in age from 32 to 13, and I have 3 great nephews and a great niece, and I'm 31 now). My siblings are actually my half siblings (I have a different father), but I didn't know that until I was about 10 and figured out that my oldest sister and my father were only about 4 years apart in age.

Ok. Got all that?

I feel like I'm pretty uniquely able to answer your question, as I was raised largely as an only child (my closest sibling was 15 when I was born) and I've gotten to see their interactions with each other, with me, and with different sizes of age gaps.

I was happy growing up. I wanted people to play with when I was young, so my parents would drive me all over the place to see my nieces or my cousins of the same age range. I wanted a little brother or sister, but with my mom getting up there in years it wasn't much of an option (At least in her eyes, she was done!). Such is life. I grew up spending a lot more time around adults than people my own age, and have never been well equipped to deal with people that express a high level of immaturity, if they aren't children. I am not damaged from being an only child, I work, I pay taxes, I volunteer during the summer, I do not feel a sense of entitlement to a perfect life. My fiance and I (also an only child) have now bought two cars together and never asked any of our parents to help, have not asked for help with a downpayment on a house, and have not asked for debt help.

That said, I've gotten to know my older siblings very well in the last year, since my brother suffered a heart attack (fit as a fiddle on the outside, high cholesterol on the inside, get yourselves checked, please!). I felt the pain of almost losing him just like my sisters did, but I was the outsider. They were able to talk about so many experiences, places they had lived, people they had known, the swimming club they had been in, while I could just smile and nod. I tell stories beautifully, but I don't have people that I can have that sort of shared experience with when it comes to my youth. I miss that poignantly now. My brother and sisters love me, and I love them, but they're the REAL brother and sisters, I'm the baby.

So. Is 6 years too much? No. Not in my opinion. One of the closest brother-sister duos I know are 7 years apart and close as could be. Sure, when she was 16 and he was 9, they annoyed the crap out of each other. But now, she is the proudest aunt on the planet, and they think each other are the coolest. My siblings share a 9 year age difference all told, and sure they still quibble. We all pick on the late sister, my brother is special because he is the only boy, we tease the oldest for being the golden child (if only she didn't spend money ever!)

Should you have another child? 100% up to you. Your daughter will be happy either way, and each choice will give her different life experiences and abilities to cope with life. If YOU want to have a baby again, go for it!

I am an only child. My (ex) husband is an only child. We were both hell bent on having more than one child. We ended up with 2 boys and couldn't have been happier.

I have always wanted to have that sibling bond and I will never have it. My boys though, wow...it's amazing. They have each other for life.

Growing up I had a half sister on my mom's side and although then I would of preferred being alone, I regret now not being closer to my sister and I am currently working on building a better relationship with her so now that I am older I think having a sister and/or brother is something great!!! Hope that helps!

Bump for later. My son is our only one and he will be 4 in November, I've had people saying to me oh you can't just have one, he will be lonely, he won't have anyone etc etc, it's not a nice pressure to have on you. Myself and partner are happy with one and want to be able to give him everything, and I also like being able to give him my undivided attention. I was always maternal from very young age, and always said I wanted 2 or 3, but at the minute im happy with one and can really only afford one just now. I never say never though who knows what the future holds :-) xx

My daughter was an only child for 2 and a half years... then greeted her new brother with delight ( and relief?) . He was always hers rather than mine.

Over the years they have been very good company for each other -whether fighting or getting along- and have learnt a lot about other people. I wonder if it is useful to have such frequent proof that the most passionate quarrel doesn't have to end a relationship. With siblings, you just have to get on and find a way through. (You never get the last word till someone is dead! )

Now both my teenage c hildren say that they are delighted not to have to suffer 100% parental attention.

I find it comforting that they will have each other if the time comes when they have to shoulder responsibility for their aged parents.

I was sort of an "only child". My brother is 10 years older than me, so even now we don't really talk. I worry the age gap is already too big (this is just my opinion though) but they would end up being nearly 7 years apart. So if they are anything like me and my brother, they wont really feel like "siblings". I love the guy, but he moved out by the time we were able to actually have conversations and now we just see each other on holiday. So, if you are going to have another child, just remember that. The age gap may be too big. This doesn't go for everyone though!

I'm sure everyone is different, but just throwing out there, my sister and I are 10 years apart, and are as close as ever. I try to be a positive influence in her life, seeing that she's at the age now where she has to make big decisions about things that could possibly impact her negatively. she's 16, i'm 26.

Not an only child... comment because my two best friends in the world are my brother and my sister. They always had and will always have my back, and I theirs. We have a deep bond that many, even other siblings, never share. That is because my parents fostered it, and showed us how to be more than just blood relations. That in turn has developed how I see my friends. My friends are non-blood family. We are a clan and we take on the world together. I wouldn't have all that if I had been an only child.

My kids are 7 years apart. The pediatrician told me that was like having 2 "only children" because of the span between their interests/experiences/needs./etc.

Only child and I had only 1 child. Sure there were times you wanted them, but we always want what we dont have.
I was perfectly happy and my son seemed to be fine as well. we just kept him busy sports, friends and family

I turned out great....This response is being transmitted from a federal prison...just kidding:-) All good being an only child:-)

*** One other downside, is that I will NEVER know what its like to have a real niece or nephew of my own, which makes me a bit sad!

ohhh noo i didn't think of that!!

Exactly. My sis died before she had children. She was only married for 6 weeks. I have 3 children and they do not have any cousins on my side of the family, nor do I have my own nieces or nephews. Family get togethers on my side are small.

I see a lot of arguments saying that they grew up independent due to being an only child. While this is true, I don't think that having siblings makes you necessarily less independent. I have two brothers, one 5 years older, and one two years younger. I've always been extremely independent, and took my own roads. I can't remember many times I called up my brother and asked for some life advice (besides taxes, he's good at them ;-) ). I think the age gap made us not as close, but I know I can depend on him if I really needed it. My younger brother and I have always been extremely close. We fought like cats and dogs as kids, and we fight like cats and dogs now. But at the end of the day, he is my favorite kid in the whole world, and I would do anything for him. I can't imagine not having grown up with siblings. I'm in my older brother's wedding this Summer, and after that I'm looking forward to being an aunt someday!! =]

I'm an only child, and as a child I always asked for a brother or sister. But once I started getting older, I appreciated being an only child. It's one of those things, that you always want what you don't have. My friends always thought it would be sooo lucky to be an only child, while I dreamed about wanting a sibling. I now apperciate not having any siblings and your child will too if you choose not to have any more children.

I'm an only child; married an only child; we have an only child.
Growing up, there were plenty of neighbor kids to play with. There was no competition for parental affection, no sibling competition in sports or academics. {I was valedictorian of my HS class.} There were no fights about what TV shows to watch.
Our son got the undivided attention of the grandparents (and ours as parents).
Of course, it's less expensive to raise ONE child, if that's a consideration.
The 'down side' came around when my parents and my wife's parents passed away. We had ALL the responsibility of our parents' affairs. That might be a plus, however, because there were no arguments about what to do or how to do it, and there were no sibling fights about who inherited what.
Now, it's just the three of us, so family reunions can be held in a closet. My wife and I have prepaid our funerals and have our wills current to make it easy on our son.
I wouldn't change a thing.