If you are an only child please open-quick question

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Replies

  • R2dragonVSG
    R2dragonVSG Posts: 7
    I have a unique view on this subject for you, I was raised both with a sister then without her, she passed away when I was ten, so having seen both sides of the fence and now I have four wonderful children of my own I'm all about children are Gods blessing shared with us on earth. Keep in mind I have a 16 yr old boy, 14 yr old boy, 5 yr old boy, and my angel my 3 yr old girl.
  • seebeachrun
    seebeachrun Posts: 221 Member
    I have the benefit of being both an only child and the eldest child. My baby sister was born the year before I graduated high school. There are 17 years between our ages and we have no siblings in between us. Currently, I am 28 and she is 11.

    Growing up I really appreciated being an only child. I don't remember feeling lonely at all. I had a close bond to both of my parents, especially my mom, and it continues to this day. I talk to both of my parents at least once per week. I was able to try every sport and after school activity from Girl Scouts to softball to bowling to teen court. I never had to share time with my parents with another sibling and all of my accomplishments were grandly celebrated.

    As an adult I miss the potential bond I could have had with a sibling. It does sadden me to think that when my parents die I won't have any other close family members to spend holidays with. You cannot guarantee that your kids will get along as children much less adults but it would be nice to have a sister closer to my age that I could call up and laugh about something silly my mom did (like dye her hair red!) It also would be nice to have a sibling to share the responsibility of taking care of my parents when they are older; again, you cannot guarantee that a sibling will have money or want to help out.

    As my sister gets older we share a special bond that is closer to a cool, younger aunt and niece than sisters. We had a recent phone conversation where our mom was in the background yelling at my sister about packing for vacation. My mom and my sister disagree on outfits to pack for vacation and both of them stubborn as mules so they argue back and forth constantly. I asked my sister if she knew the secret to getting mom to stop yelling. She said she didn't. I told her to stop arguing and agree with the outfits mom picked out for the vacation. Then when mom has calmed down and goes to pack her own bag, I told my sister to pick three or four outfits and stuff them in the bottom of her bag. She laughed.

    So long as having another child isn't going to cause major financial trouble and you make sure to celebrate both children's accomplishments and special qualities equally, I don't see the downside to having more than one child. Not to say having an only child is a bad idea because I don't know that I could personally handle more than one child. ;)
  • ambrwaves27
    ambrwaves27 Posts: 206
    I am glad I was an only child as I am very independent. I have two girls now and it is REALLY hard to relate to the sibling rilvary. Last night it was because one wanted a fan on and the other didnt. They have seperate rooms. seriously. errrr
  • evelyngrice
    evelyngrice Posts: 349 Member
    I love being an only child.

    I find I have a really good relationship with my Mum because all her attention was on me, we know everything about each other and I was her main focus :)

    *This is just personal experience.
  • Kell_Smurthwaite
    Kell_Smurthwaite Posts: 384 Member
    I'm not an only child, but I hope you don' t mind me answering too. There's a 4 year gap between me and my sister and although we were kind of indifferent to eac hother as kids, and then hated each other as teens, once I moved out to college, we started getting on a lot better and she's now my best friend (ans she says the same of me). I wouldn't be without her. M ylittle boy is 3 1/2 now and we'd love to give him a sibling, but we've been trying for just over 2 years with no luck so far. He adores babies and several of his friends have little brothers or sisters now, and he'd like one of his own (or so he says!). We still hope to comply with his wishes, but in the meantime, he has our undivided attention. He still mixes well with other children, is independent, imaginative and bright as a button. :)
  • galegetsthin
    galegetsthin Posts: 1,340 Member
    Not an only child, and please don't be offended, but IME only children have a problem with being entitled. I just got out of a 3 year realtionship with one. a 29 year old man, didn't know how to stand on his own two feet without his mommy and daddy helping him and they "SHOULD DAMN IT!"


    That depends totally on the parents though. I was taught that I needed to do it on my own. I have never asked for help and dont think I would take it if offered.
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member

    My wife and I have prepaid our funerals and have our wills current to make it easy on our son.
    I wouldn't change a thing.

    This is something else that I find is a plus for being an only child.

    Being the oldest of 5 siblings, while my parents were very affluent, they still had FIVE kids to put through school etc...sometimes I worry if they will be cushioned enough should they need long term care, nursing homes, are their final affairs in order? Will we all argue about who does what when they pass? and who gets what? yes...yes we will...i can say that already.

    however as a parent of an only child, I can already tell you that my estate will very generously afford my daughter a life of ease, even if I do end up in long term care. my final expenses are covered and I will be financially able to put her through the school of her choice, buy her a car and give her a great start in life.

    so that i'm pretty proud of and I know I couldn't have done that had I had more than one child.

    L
  • AlbaAngel25
    AlbaAngel25 Posts: 484 Member
    i have one child and i love it, but im debating on having one more or not ! will be stalking this thread
  • MaryBowen27
    MaryBowen27 Posts: 132
    I have an older brother, and personally I couldn't imagine being an only child. One of old friends is an only child and she ended up spoiled, selfish and dependent. However, of course theres the whole nature versus nuture issue.

    I think if you do have a single child, you just have to inherency work harder for them to understand sharing, selflessness, etc.
  • Celeigh12
    Celeigh12 Posts: 763 Member
    It was good as a child - no sharing, all the attention on me, etc. but now that I'm older it's harder. My mom died a year ago and I really wished I had someone to share that burden with besides my dad.
  • DBBA21
    DBBA21 Posts: 104 Member
    Being an only child is lonely from start to finish :cry:
  • pregmeg119
    pregmeg119 Posts: 151 Member

    My wife and I have prepaid our funerals and have our wills current to make it easy on our son.
    I wouldn't change a thing.

    This is something else that I find is a plus for being an only child.

    Being the oldest of 5 siblings, while my parents were very affluent, they still had FIVE kids to put through school etc...sometimes I worry if they will be cushioned enough should they need long term care, nursing homes, are their final affairs in order? Will we all argue about who does what when they pass? and who gets what? yes...yes we will...i can say that already.

    however as a parent of an only child, I can already tell you that my estate will very generously afford my daughter a life of ease, even if I do end up in long term care. my final expenses are covered and I will be financially able to put her through the school of her choice, buy her a car and give her a great start in life.

    so that i'm pretty proud of and I know I couldn't have done that had I had more than one child.

    L

    This is how I feel, I am so PROUD that I COULD give her just about everything she wants. I DON'T give her everything but it's nice to know the things I was not afforded (oldest of five) nor my fiancee (oldest of seven) had like a first car (crappy first car of course no MTV star here with a new mercedes!!) and I would LOVE, LOVE to be able to tell my daughter she could be anything she wants and go to any college (without worrying about scholarships or school loans). She tells me now she wants to be a doctor and help people and I can only hope that she remains such a caring person and stays committed to her dreams (though that may change to wanting to be a walmart greeter! As long as she is HAPPY!!)
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
    only child

    liked it
    we hosted an exchange student and i studied abroad and stayed with a host family so i had plenty of time living with sisters. it was ok, but i liked and still do like being an only child.
  • nnylee
    nnylee Posts: 811 Member
    I am an only child and I learned to entertain myself. I always did wish I had a sibling though. When I have kids, I'm going to have two. Though, it wasn't terrible being an only child. You get all the attention. But if you did something bad, you couldn't blame it on anyone else.
  • c3nterstage
    c3nterstage Posts: 46
    i'm an only child and i personally would have liked having a sibling. but as long as you don't spoil your only child it's really not a big deal. Also, make sure if you decide to have another kid to do it soon because if she is like 8 or 9 adjusting to having a sibling will be ahrd
  • FaugHorn
    FaugHorn Posts: 1,060 Member
    I had both worlds, I was the only child of my parents but when they divorced I got three step-siblings. It was pretty nice to be an only child. Undivided attention and resources. I wouldn't be able to tell you what it woulda been like to have blood siblings living with me every day. 6 years is a good gap though, one will be out of college before you have to worry about the other one going :).
  • kfhoffman12
    kfhoffman12 Posts: 67
    My sister and I are 6 years apart and although we hated each other growing up, we couldnt be more close now that we have both reached adulthood. My fiance is an only child and I know how hard it is on him not to share the same bond with a sibling as my sister and I do. Yes, an only child may be spoiled rotten but I know he would have loved to have a sibling!
  • jaimemariel
    jaimemariel Posts: 183 Member
    This is a question that is impossible to answer because I only know my own experience. Was being an only child great? Sure. Would having siblings make it better? Who knows, because I didn't have any. I can't speak about what didn't happen. You know what made childhood great? Having awsome parents.
  • stampinlisa1
    stampinlisa1 Posts: 1
    I am an 'only' and I enjoy it! My daughter is also an 'only' and though she occasionally asks for a sibling, she is most content. We made our decision based on things such as: how hard it was to have her and how many children we could comfortably support on my husbands income. May I suggest that you make a pro's and con's list. Then follow your heart and don't feel guilty if you choose the 'only' option!
  • runningfromzombies
    runningfromzombies Posts: 386 Member
    I was an only child and would have loved a sibling. There were other, more significant problems in my family, and in the end I'm glad my parents didn't have more children just to spare other humans the nightmare that is my mom, but in a normal situation it would have helped disperse the attention from me as a single child. The pressure was really on for me: I was their only offspring, so I kind of had to be perfect, and never got enough recognition for the good things I did do (my fantastic grades, my amazing AP exam scores, my Editor-in-Chief position at my high school newspaper, my captaincy for Varsity Golf, my acceptance to Berkeley--it was all expected and never considered particularly exceptional).
  • AmyLRed
    AmyLRed Posts: 856 Member
    I am not technically an only child, but in a way, i can answer from both sides of the equation.

    My brothers are 10 and 12 years older than me. They were around when i was really little, but by the time i was 6 they were 16 and 18, so one was living on his own and the other never home (license, car, girlfriend, sports, etc)
    This left me sort of as an only child. However, my parents also decided to do foster care a few years after, so at time i was the youngest ,sometimes the oldest sometimes the middle one, depending on who was in my home.

    I hated it when i was 5-8 and had nobody to play with.


    My son is an only child, he is almost 3 and i am quite certain we are not having more. I'd like to but my husband really doesnt. I guess my biggest reason for wanting another isnt about whether my son has playmates. Like your child, he has lots of similar aged cousins nearby. What i worry about is as we get older and say he loses us at a fairly young age, and has no sibling to share his grief and lean on. My husband lost his mom when he was 14 and because of that he is incredibly close to his brother and sister as they really stuck together.

    Just my thoughts, for what its worth! Good luck!
  • AggieSigner
    AggieSigner Posts: 23 Member
    I have found that into adulthood, i have stayed a loner because i was always with my mom and more mature for my age than most of my friends with siblings. We plan on giving our daughter a sibling one day, just gotta there lol

    I can agree that, since I'm an only child and I was home schooled for a good part of my life, I was pretty much always with my mom. Having a sibling would have been nice though.
  • saragato
    saragato Posts: 1,154
    I always wanted a sibling because sometimes there are things only kids understand and when you tell your parents or want them to engage in some activity your brain farted out they look at you funny. And I agree with what someone else said about not waiting too long to have another if you decide to. I had a best friend who was 10 years apart in age from her younger sister and they didn't start getting along until the sister was almost in high school. In fact I didn't get along with her until she was 12 and I had known the child since she was 4.

    That aside just keep in mind the financial side of it and really think about if you could handle two as well as trying not to favor one over the other. I think a lot of kids want a sibling because there's novelty in being the big brother/sister and they think the baby will be their 24/7 playmate which doesn't happen, at least not right away. But hey man, if it's what you want then I say go for it. My mother has two sisters, one that's fifteen years older than her and one that's only a year older and from what I hear of them growing up and doing things as adults, they all stuck up for each other and they still do things together. It's a strong bond when they actually do bond.
  • MJ7910
    MJ7910 Posts: 1,280 Member
    is there an option for "i wish i didn't have any siblings... and i wasn't an only child"... j/k, joking. i love my siblings. but i know plenty of people who don't so it works the other way too.
    actually none of my siblings are very close to each other into adulthood and we all live very far away from each other. so i don't think having lots of siblings ensures anything about what kind of relationship your kids will have. i think seeing each other every day, having to play with each other, we got kind of tired of it.
    i never got anything being 1 of 5. i wish i could have had more and always envied other girls who got more clothes, toys, etc. and i always had to babysit and never could make my own plans without considering the rest of the family. we never had enough to go around and i always felt like i had to do without and couldn't have what my friends had.
    so i think whether you are an only or one of multipes you may like it or hate it. you may be close or not be close. my husband was an only child, he loved it. so i don't really think you can base a decision off of what other people think. everyone is different.
    and i dont' think only children are "entitled"... sure, some are, but others aren't. generalizing just isn't a good idea.
    oh and for those who are onlies and are saying "i wish i had a sibling" maybe it would have been awesome, maybe not. you just never know.
  • newmrswood
    newmrswood Posts: 167 Member
    My husband is an only child and he told me that we aren't to have only one kid because it gets lonely and even with a pet it's just not the same. I'm the middle child of three, don't have three kids!!! Everyone feels like the other is more loved and there is such thing as middle child syndrom. I was pulled into every arguement you can imagine, the middle child grows up faster. I think 2 is perfect!
  • KeegansMomma
    KeegansMomma Posts: 156
    My son is an only child. He'll be 5 in October. So far, there have been no requests for a sibling. However, if there are requests, we'll have to sit down with him and let him know that it's not a possibility now as daddy got the snip back in December. lol

    Do what you guys decide is best. :)
  • LCraig0124
    LCraig0124 Posts: 11 Member
    I am an only child, my mom had a hard time with pregnancies she had a few miscarriages and I was actually about a month and a half premature. For the most part I enjoy being an only child, there was never anyone to compete with. But now that I am older it would be nice to have a sibling to go through the process of my parents aging with. At times when I was younger I wished I had a brother or sister, but for the most part I was happy. My husband comes from a big family and I come from a small one. I think that the only thing is I have a much harder time socializing than him and I tend to shy away from things that involve a lot of people or large groups unless it is really something I desperately want to do.
  • pregmeg119
    pregmeg119 Posts: 151 Member
    My son is an only child. He'll be 5 in October. So far, there have been no requests for a sibling. However, if there are requests, we'll have to sit down with him and let him know that it's not a possibility now as daddy got the snip back in December. lol

    Do what you guys decide is best. :)


    I will be 27 shortly and my fiancee 29 and I decided long ago, I don't want to have any children after I turn 30 so we have a small window to choose from and then I would like for my guy to get the "snip" as well :)
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    We're 4 of us. My oldest brother is 10 years old than me (exactly 10 years old, him and I share same birth date). My sister is 9 years older than me and my second brother is 4 years older than me.

    I think I would have had a very lonely childhood if I didnt had my siblings. How things turned out when we grew up is another thing but as kids, they were my friends and they taught me alot!

    Hope the answer helped a bit :)
  • Woodzoo813
    Woodzoo813 Posts: 3 Member
    I am an adopted, only child. I did have more things growing up with two working parents and only one child but summer vacations at home or traveling were a bit lonely with no one to play with. I did have to learn as an adult for things to not be all about me. My parents were educators and they did not dote on me but since it was just me, it was about my recital, my Camp Fire meeting, my choir practice, my summer camp, my schedule many, many times. I was very close to my cousins growing up but as adults and since the grands are gone, we just don't seem to get together much anymore. I was lucky to make a couple of very dear friends at a young age and we are still best of friends. These women are in every sense my sisters. I was lonely many times but I did learn to entertain myself. I did have a large family myself and though it has been financially challenging at times we have a great time together and I am now blessed with 4 grandchildren of my own and 4 step-grandchildren, with two of my children just starting their twenties (22 & 23) so I expect there could be more little blessings to come. Oh and P.S. I did get to meet some of by birth syblings and I do see them from time to time so I really had the best of both worlds. Hope all this doesn't make the decision harder. Trust yourself and know that 1 child or two or more, as long as they are loved and cared for you can't go wrong. :)

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