is it "disrespectful" to not have kids?
Replies
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I think the argument is that people are being disrespectful toward God since that's part of our purpose. Or something. For the record, I most certainly do not think this way. But I've been told this as well. (I am an atheist).on another website forum, i just got b****ed out for not wanting to have kids. i was really taken aback and i gave my reasons. what i got back was three different people saying i'm horrible for not wanting kids and its very disrespectful to not have kids. they really got mean.
i dont think i'm "disrespectful" or horrible. my reasons for not wanting kids are well thought out. i dont think anyone should have kids unless they want to. i used to be in child care and i love kids. i think other peoples kids are great. i just know i'm not going to be a good mom and i shouldnt be made to feel bad about that.
maybe i'm just being sensitive.
And who in the HELL are we being disrespectful toward???0 -
on another website forum, i just got b****ed out for not wanting to have kids. i was really taken aback and i gave my reasons. what i got back was three different people saying i'm horrible for not wanting kids and its very disrespectful to not have kids. they really got mean.
i dont think i'm "disrespectful" or horrible. my reasons for not wanting kids are well thought out. i dont think anyone should have kids unless they want to. i used to be in child care and i love kids. i think other peoples kids are great. i just know i'm not going to be a good mom and i shouldnt be made to feel bad about that.
maybe i'm just being sensitive.
You are very smart! You are not being disrespectful at all. You know what you want and that is a good thing. Would it be good to bring a child in this world that will end up feeling unwanted? That's just stupid. I have a child, and couldn't imagine life without her, but everyone's situation is different! Don't let stupid people bother you!!
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Absolutely not.
My husband and I made the decision not to have any children. It was OUR decision to make. My mom was a bit put out when she found out we weren't going to have children but who cares? I'm not going to have them just because someone thinks I should. There are plenty of people out there who shouldn't have children and yet they do. I think if you know you don't want them then you shouldn't have them and screw anyone who says you're being "disrespectful". They're morons.0 -
It's because people are so overprotective of their little perfect angel buttercup princesses. If you say that you don't want kids to someone, they're probably thinking that their kids aren't good enough to you. That may be how it's "disrespectful".
It's bull**** is what it is. I don't want to have kids.0 -
I think it would be disrespectful to have kids if you don't want them! Not everybody wants kids. Just like not everybody wants to get married, not everybody wants pets, not everybody wants the same things in life period.
Kids are a lifelong responsibility, not really one of those things you can just say "eh, I think I'll have kids today." I respect a person for acknowledging they don't want children and not having them, because unwanted children suffer the most in these situations.
I have a 5 year old, and love my child and have plenty of friends with kids, but I also have friends who want nothing to do with parenthood. One of my best girlfriends doesn't even like being around kids. She just does not care for children and having kids would interfere with her lifestyle (she's a bit of a jet-setter). She actually told me one time "You know, I'm not a fan of kids. I'm that mean old lady who keeps her light off and doesn't hand out candy on Halloween. But your kid's pretty cool, I can hang out with him in small doses." I wasn't offended at all, kids just aren't everyone's cup of tea!0 -
Disrespectful to who? Yourself? Absolutely NOT! It's YOUR life and it would be YOUR responsibility. Who cares about what anybody else thinks because kids aren't for everybody. No offense, but don't be so sensitive. Can't please everybody.0
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I would be offended.....by your looking well rested and having disposable income. =P
No one should be forced to have kids. Its an ordeal and if you are not into it, the kids are the ones who tend to be hurt.0 -
People need to realize that it is wrong not to have kids if you can. The world needs a next generation, and if everybody shirks that responsibility, it isn't going to happen. Fertility is a gift! Use it!
Otherwise the same thing will happen to us as what happened to the shakers. They didn't want kids either, and now, they are gone, gone, gone.
i'm glad you responded to this. i firmly do not believe that we all need to have kids. the world population will not be shrinking any time soon. i would rather not have kids then have kids and not be a good mom.
there are so many kids out there that need homes because their parents should not have had kids.
thank you for your post. i respectfully disagree with your premise.
What if you are wrong? Right now, most countries in the world are facing an inverted pyramid in their populations in that there is a large number of old people and very few young people. Population will continue to increase because of this pyramid until mid-century, then it collapses. Some countries are expected to lose 50% of their population, and demographers are saying that the population decrease will be worse than that of Europe in the 13th Century when entire populations disappeared because of the plague.
So your thesis rests upon shaky assumptions. You think that there will be no consequences for your personal decision replicated by millions of personal decisions just like yours. When does the personal become the social? And when does a society jump off a cliff? Does it matter? Will you still be around mid-century when the mess happens?
Demographers say the trend is set in stone because there are not enough young people of child bearing age around to increase the birthrate so as to prevent the inevitable.0 -
People need to realize that it is wrong not to have kids if you can. The world needs a next generation, and if everybody shirks that responsibility, it isn't going to happen. Fertility is a gift! Use it!
Otherwise the same thing will happen to us as what happened to the shakers. They didn't want kids either, and now, they are gone, gone, gone.
i'm glad you responded to this. i firmly do not believe that we all need to have kids. the world population will not be shrinking any time soon. i would rather not have kids then have kids and not be a good mom.
there are so many kids out there that need homes because their parents should not have had kids.
thank you for your post. i respectfully disagree with your premise.
What if you are wrong? Right now, most countries in the world are facing an inverted pyramid in their populations in that there is a large number of old people and very few young people. Population will continue to increase because of this pyramid until mid-century, then it collapses. Some countries are expected to lose 50% of their population, and demographers are saying that the population decrease will be worse than that of Europe in the 13th Century when entire populations disappeared because of the plague.
So your thesis rests upon shaky assumptions. You think that there will be no consequences for your personal decision replicated by millions of personal decisions just like yours. When does the personal become the social? And when does a society jump off a cliff? Does it matter? Will you still be around mid-century when the mess happens?
Demographers say the trend is set in stone because there are not enough young people of child bearing age around to increase the birthrate so as to prevent the inevitable.
I fail to see how a population decline caused by the elderly dying of natural causes and the younger generations not producing as many offspring is going to cause such awful consequences... please feel free to enlighten me! I'm not trying to pick a fight but I honestly don't see a problem with the earth's population, which has grown at incredible rates for many generations, shrinking. It will certainly cause changes but who's to say it will be so awful? and if demographers says the trend is set in stone already, well whats the point in me popping out half a dozen kids that I don't want? and where is the line? how many children are each couple required to have? and please site your sources!0 -
People need to realize that it is wrong not to have kids if you can. The world needs a next generation, and if everybody shirks that responsibility, it isn't going to happen. Fertility is a gift! Use it!
Otherwise the same thing will happen to us as what happened to the shakers. They didn't want kids either, and now, they are gone, gone, gone.
the shakers believed that NO ONE should have children. I dont believe that, I'm fairly certain no one who has responded on here believes that, I'm thrilled that my sister had 3 kids and love them dearly, my best friend just had the most beautiful little girl (my godchild) being a parent isn't for everyone and comparing people who are making a rational, well informed choice not to have a child of their own to what amounts to a cult of people brainwashed into thinking they were doing God's will is pretty insulting.0 -
Thanks for sharing that info. Perhaps those people were pregnant and off their meds? Maybe that's why they were so upset. Either because they thought you were judging or because...they were off their meds?
Either way, I think they shouldn't be taking it out on such a well mannered cat as you, Clyde.0 -
Why is this bad? Sounds to me like:
What if you are wrong? Right now, most countries in the world are facing an inverted pyramid in their populations in that there is a large number of old people and very few young people. Population will continue to increase because of this pyramid until mid-century, then it collapses. Some countries are expected to lose 50% of their population, and demographers are saying that the population decrease will be worse than that of Europe in the 13th Century when entire populations disappeared because of the plague.
*Shorter lines at the grocery store
*Enough Ipads for everyone on the release date
*No need to burn down the rainforest, we've got plenty of room!0 -
**** em, they probly shouldn't be having kids.0
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As the offspring of someone who never wanted kids, I strongly recommend that you keep to your decision. All four of us knew that was the case and it didn't make for a wanted feeling. The pressure of that time was to have kids, but I don't think that is the norm anymore. I will always advise people this way, even my own children who, out of four of them, only one says they want children. I would never want grandchildren at the expense of my kids happiness.
Much respect and support. :happy:0 -
Why is this bad? Sounds to me like:
What if you are wrong? Right now, most countries in the world are facing an inverted pyramid in their populations in that there is a large number of old people and very few young people. Population will continue to increase because of this pyramid until mid-century, then it collapses. Some countries are expected to lose 50% of their population, and demographers are saying that the population decrease will be worse than that of Europe in the 13th Century when entire populations disappeared because of the plague.
*Shorter lines at the grocery store
*Enough Ipads for everyone on the release date
*No need to burn down the rainforest, we've got plenty of room!
Well, no grocery store, for starters.
No shipping.
No produce.
Nobody to make Ipads.
Rainforest? Well trees will be growing through pavement, and several stories up in the abandoned high rises.
In former East Germany, they are knocking down buildings because there is no one to live in them, and in some towns, there is not enough effluent to keep the sewer system running. In Japan, towns destroyed by the tsunami are not being rebuilt because everybody is too old to do it.
There has been a paradigm shift but people are so stuck in the old way of thinking that they don't yet see. But there are starting to be some newspaper articles on it:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/video/2012/mar/21/china-grows-older-rich-video
http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/danielknowles/100150427/has-george-osborne-set-off-a-demographic-time-bomb/
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/13/opinion/brooks-the-fertility-implosion.html?_r=2&ref=global-home
Here is an article that cites the president of the Bank of Canada: http://www.ottawacitizen.com/business/Aging+population+boost+wages+interest+rates+Bank+Canada/6411301/story.html
Keep your eyes open. And you'll hear more.0 -
Why is this bad? Sounds to me like:
What if you are wrong? Right now, most countries in the world are facing an inverted pyramid in their populations in that there is a large number of old people and very few young people. Population will continue to increase because of this pyramid until mid-century, then it collapses. Some countries are expected to lose 50% of their population, and demographers are saying that the population decrease will be worse than that of Europe in the 13th Century when entire populations disappeared because of the plague.
*Shorter lines at the grocery store
*Enough Ipads for everyone on the release date
*No need to burn down the rainforest, we've got plenty of room!
Well, no grocery store, for starters.
No shipping.
No produce.
Nobody to make Ipads.
Rainforest? Well trees will be growing through pavement, and several stories up in the abandoned high rises.
In former East Germany, they are knocking down buildings because there is no one to live in them, and in some towns, there is not enough effluent to keep the sewer system running. In Japan, towns destroyed by the tsunami are not being rebuilt because everybody is too old to do it.
There has been a paradigm shift but people are so stuck in the old way of thinking that they don't yet see. But there are starting to be some newspaper articles on it:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/video/2012/mar/21/china-grows-older-rich-video
http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/danielknowles/100150427/has-george-osborne-set-off-a-demographic-time-bomb/
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/13/opinion/brooks-the-fertility-implosion.html?_r=2&ref=global-home
Here is an article that cites the president of the Bank of Canada: http://www.ottawacitizen.com/business/Aging+population+boost+wages+interest+rates+Bank+Canada/6411301/story.html
Keep your eyes open. And you'll hear more.
I'm quite sure the people having 12+ kids are more than covering my childfree slack0 -
Why is this bad? Sounds to me like:
What if you are wrong? Right now, most countries in the world are facing an inverted pyramid in their populations in that there is a large number of old people and very few young people. Population will continue to increase because of this pyramid until mid-century, then it collapses. Some countries are expected to lose 50% of their population, and demographers are saying that the population decrease will be worse than that of Europe in the 13th Century when entire populations disappeared because of the plague.
*Shorter lines at the grocery store
*Enough Ipads for everyone on the release date
*No need to burn down the rainforest, we've got plenty of room!
Well, no grocery store, for starters.
No shipping.
No produce.
Nobody to make Ipads.
Rainforest? Well trees will be growing through pavement, and several stories up in the abandoned high rises.
In former East Germany, they are knocking down buildings because there is no one to live in them, and in some towns, there is not enough effluent to keep the sewer system running. In Japan, towns destroyed by the tsunami are not being rebuilt because everybody is too old to do it.
There has been a paradigm shift but people are so stuck in the old way of thinking that they don't yet see. But there are starting to be some newspaper articles on it:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/video/2012/mar/21/china-grows-older-rich-video
http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/danielknowles/100150427/has-george-osborne-set-off-a-demographic-time-bomb/
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/13/opinion/brooks-the-fertility-implosion.html?_r=2&ref=global-home
Here is an article that cites the president of the Bank of Canada: http://www.ottawacitizen.com/business/Aging+population+boost+wages+interest+rates+Bank+Canada/6411301/story.html
Keep your eyes open. And you'll hear more.
I'm quite sure the people having 12+ kids are more than covering my childfree slack
Wrong again. There are not enough young people of childbearing age around, and even if they all decided to have 12 kids (i.e. most of the people on this forum), there are not enough of them around to change the trend.
It is the exceptional country where the population is able to maintain its numbers.0 -
Sounds like those people have far more problems than being bipolar. You would do well to distance yourself from them. They are toxic.0
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I think it's disrespectful to have kids - Some a**hole brought their baby to see the Hunger Games! I was so pissed!!
BTW - That was kind of a joke. But someone really did that.
I don't want kids. And I hate when some parents are all judgmental about other peoples life choices. They wanted to be a baby factory, so be it. Don't rain down on everyone else's awesome disposable income filled lives.
Can you tell I've experienced something like that before? Some people just suck. Unfortunately sometimes they also procreate.
I have no problem with the non-preachy, I take care of my kids and are nice and lovely type of parents. I just don't like the *****y ones. That goes for every other *****y person that doesn't have kids too.0 -
It's not disrepectful to not want kids. Don't ever feel guilty for your choice. I have 3 kids and love them all but it's not for everyone. Kids are a lot of work and they are expensive. With that said, I wouldn't trade my kids or decision for anything just as you shouldn't trade your decision or have kids just because people think you should. 0
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It would be disrespectful to yourself to have kids if you don't want them, and that's not good for anyone involved.
If someone says it's "disrespectful" not to want them, then that's probably just because they can't imagine that someone wouldn't want their own precious little acorns anyway. Don't let it get to you.0 -
No one should have kids because SOMEONE ELSE wants them to:explode: nor should you be in any way ostracised for deciding NOT to have them. If you want them fine, have them and be happy. I have even seen people pressured by in-laws to have children just because THEY want to be grandparents:mad: Unbelievable!
There is nothing wrong with not having kids. It's your life. It IS a lifetime committment (for most anyway) and not to be taken lightly. I for one never had any, nor do I plan to. Not everyone is cut out to be a parent.0 -
I do not want kids either. I don't like kids at all. Not only that, I would like to keep my money, time, enery, etc for myself. No one in my family has a problem with my decision.0
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I think you've made a very mature decision. Being a mother is very rewarding. Having said that, it is also the most challenging role a woman will ever have in her life. It is never ending. From the moment you find out you're pregnant, your life completely changes........what you eat, what meds you are allowed to take, what you drink, your sleeping habits, your career. Everything. It's not easy. I knew I wanted children. You know you don't and I completely respect that decision. I don't know why anyone else wouldn't. Now, do my a favor.......go to Italy and drink wine and eat pasta.....live it up for a week or two or three! That's exactly what I would do if I had stayed single and with no children. Now I have to wait for retirement.....for the money and the time!0
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I don't want children either and never have. I am lucky to be surrounded by (mostly) supportive people who realize that although I love my niece and nephew more than anyone else on the planet, being a mother is just not for me. My mother wasn't thrilled of course, and up until about a year ago, kept telling me I might still change my mind. There are still other people around me that do the same, but I'm 32 and it's not going to happen. Luckily, that's all they say and never tell me my choice is "wrong" or I'm being "disrepectful"! Having children is a totally personal choice and no one else's business. I am aware that I am too Type A and also too selfish to have children of my own. I think it's better to realize it ahead of time then have children, be miserable and make your children miserable!0
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People need to realize that it is wrong not to have kids if you can. The world needs a next generation, and if everybody shirks that responsibility, it isn't going to happen. Fertility is a gift! Use it!
Otherwise the same thing will happen to us as what happened to the shakers. They didn't want kids either, and now, they are gone, gone, gone.
i'm glad you responded to this. i firmly do not believe that we all need to have kids. the world population will not be shrinking any time soon. i would rather not have kids then have kids and not be a good mom.
there are so many kids out there that need homes because their parents should not have had kids.
thank you for your post. i respectfully disagree with your premise.
What if you are wrong? Right now, most countries in the world are facing an inverted pyramid in their populations in that there is a large number of old people and very few young people. Population will continue to increase because of this pyramid until mid-century, then it collapses. Some countries are expected to lose 50% of their population, and demographers are saying that the population decrease will be worse than that of Europe in the 13th Century when entire populations disappeared because of the plague.
So your thesis rests upon shaky assumptions. You think that there will be no consequences for your personal decision replicated by millions of personal decisions just like yours. When does the personal become the social? And when does a society jump off a cliff? Does it matter? Will you still be around mid-century when the mess happens?
Demographers say the trend is set in stone because there are not enough young people of child bearing age around to increase the birthrate so as to prevent the inevitable.
I remember reading an article stating that if not for the plague (Black Death) population culling, Europe would be a desert/wasteland right now due to overpopulation and exceeding our resources to the point of deforestation.
You are also forgetting that while Western (1st World) Populations are experiencing a population pyramid, the same is not true for the rest of the world. Don't worry, while it is true that Western Populations will decrease, the world population centers will continue the trend of shifting to other population centers.0 -
People need to realize that it is wrong not to have kids if you can. The world needs a next generation, and if everybody shirks that responsibility, it isn't going to happen. Fertility is a gift! Use it!
If fertility is a "gift", then I'm returning mine.0 -
Someone (not the OP) must be *nuts* to think it's "disrespectful" not to have kids. Unless, of course, you are on a religious forum and believe that controlling one's own reproductive rights is disrespectful to God. (And unfortunately, some religious people do think that!)
Either way, pat yourself on the back for making up your own mind. I have 2 boys and with recent pre-adolescent struggles, sometimes I really regret it!0 -
You are also forgetting that while Western (1st World) Populations are experiencing a population pyramid, the same is not true for the rest of the world. Don't worry, while it is true that Western Populations will decrease, the world population centers will continue the trend of shifting to other population centers.
^^^this.
We're not at almost 7 billion people because of people not having children.
Most of the world faces overpopulation, not under. It's only Japan and parts of Europe that have a real problem with low population growth. The US is okay because of immigration.
As for the topic, having children is a personal decision. In no way is it disrespectful.0 -
I heard that most people regret having kids. (like 80%)
but i heard it on a morning talk show, so it's probably a made up stat.
Still.
I like not having kids. I like it a lot.0
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