"Lost 100lbs & found out what the world thinks of fat ppl"
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This is so incredibly true. I look like an entirely different person - it happened quick and my brain has not caught up to my body but there is an absolute difference in the way I am treated in public.0
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This is a sad and very very real story to all women fat or not, people dont like different. I got flagged at the airport just because i have red and purple hair. If you look at the girls in the magazine you will notice all of them look almost exactly the same, the same eyes the same nose, ect. Its drilled into alot of peoples minds that different is bad. Also that fat is bad. It is bad in a way (all the health problems) but it shouldent give anyone the excuse to treat people differently. I do catch myself thinking o wow she/ hes so much more attractive. but i wouldent ever treat anyone different.0
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Yeah i do find it weird that her man would leave her for being bigger... what will happen if she gets pregnant?? ive been 200 and my husband still looked at me like i was the most gorgeous thing ever.I was wondering when someone was going to say this because I was thinking the same thing and beginning to think maybe I was missing something???? I don't like this article at all and honestly don't find a lot of truth to it. Maybe it has to do with where I live. I've been skinny, I've been fat, never did I see these differences. IDK seems weird to me. Maybe I just don't hang with the same people she does, I really don't know. But, my initial thought was, "wow I would never be with a man who said that he wouldn't be with me for how I looked" That's not the kind of man I want. I'm so lucky and thankful to have a man who loves me for me, whether I'm skinny, fat, whatever. I'm sad other people don't have that.She lost the weight for the wrong reasons. It wasn't for her health, but for the vanity. I'm sorry, but I don't really like the article. And dating a man who is obviously just with her for the looks? Bad thinking on her part. However, keeping the weight off is good.0
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Thanks for sharing this article!!!!!0
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Marking to read later - thanks for posting.0
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'My father said ..see anybody can do what they want to. Losing weight and the decision to dig in,for me at least is about so much more than 'wanting' to.I have always 'wanted' to do the things good for me but it took the planets aligning just right to give me the gumption to do it. I loved this article,I have noticed some of the same behaviors and it sure is galling..but what are you gonna do. At this age I find that things have a way of evening out......0
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What a fantastic article, I've seen many people lose a lot of weight and their attitudes have changed instantly to those who look and feel exactly like they once did. I always made a pledge to myself that if I was to lose a lot of weight I would always keep in mind that the person who started out was my best friend, I would appreciate my improvements within joining others in mocking my previous weight and lack of self-esteem.
I also had a friend growing up who would never go out with guy if he didn't treat me nicely, she was slim and would only see the good side of these guys, it's strange how introducing a bigger friend can bring out the worst in people !0 -
Thank you so much for sharing!0
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Interesting, This is all too familiar. I live with this treatment everyday. I cannot wait to loose weight.0
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She lost the weight for the wrong reasons. It wasn't for her health, but for the vanity. I'm sorry, but I don't really like the article. And dating a man who is obviously just with her for the looks? Bad thinking on her part. However, keeping the weight off is good.
I agree with you about how she shouldn't be dating a guy who would leave her if she got fat. However, I don't think there is anything wrong about losing weight to feel better about your body. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health. Losing weight helps both!0 -
is anyone else NOT inspired by this?! my heart is breaking for all women in society!! not to sound like a flaming feminist, but are we just OBJECTS? existing only to be beautiful things for men to adore and want to ****?! i freaking HATE this. when i wear sweatpants and no makeup i am invisible, but when i look extra beautiful (makeup/tight clothes/sundress) suddenly its like i am queen on the universe and everyone stares and awkwardly stammers and says `im sorry` if they accidentally walk too close to me.
no. i hate this. and i hate this even more because of how true it is.
i treat everyone the same. i will hold open the door for an overweight person in a wheelchair just as quickly as i would hold open the door for ms. america. i would (AND DO) strike up a conversation with anyone, regardless of what they look like just the same. i dont say mean things about fat people even to the secretly on side at my friends, i cringe when my friends do it and i call them out on it. i dont hate fat people, bash them, think theyre lazy/disgusting/hideous because I DONT KNOW THEIR STRUGGLE so i cant judge them. society sickens me and i hate that you have to look good to be treated like a person what is WRONG with this picture?! wake UP.:explode:0 -
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Thank you for sharing this article. While I have heard rude remarks myself about my weight usually the thing that bothers me the most is when they assume you can't do certain things because of the weight. There are times when something physical comes up and the thinnner people are asked to help out, but leave me out because they thought I wouldn't be capable of doing the activity. I feel that I should be given the opportunity to decide for myself if I am capable of participating or not.0
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Thank you for sharing this. I lost about 85 pounds, and I remember when I was near my heaviest, smoking outside of a bookstore (I no longer smoke, by the way), and some kids yelling from across the parking lot about how pregnant women shouldn't smoke and how I was trash. I can also relate to the thing you said about your boyfriend--my husband is dumbfounded by how I used to look, and though I believe he would've loved me, it is doubtful he would have ever given me a chance in the first place. This really hit home for me. Thank you.0
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I can attest to people saying "you look great now, i mean....' I understand why. It's stupid to believe that being out of shape or fat is attractive in comparison to being healthy. I know that's a point that many people will try to say is wrong to believe, and some of you may be 100% honest, but your numbers are in minority. The majority, and I mean high majority, believe that a person is more attractive when they are fit. I know most people on here would agree, that is why we are trying to lose the weight. We can say it is to be healthy, but in all honesty we also want to fit in to the image of whats attractive. you can deny it all you want, and once again you may be 100% honest, but there very few of you.
the reason why it is ok to pick on the fat people, is the same reason it's ok to pick on smelly people, people who trip, people who run in to doors and people that make mistakes. These are all decisions, not genetics and something that a person is responsible. It's wrong to pick on people for their color, gender, being gay and things of that nature, because those are not things that we choose. I honestly wouldn't pick on someone for being fat, but I wish someone was a bit more open and honest about my weight while I was fat, instead of telling me this now that I've lost a lot of weight.
I'm happy that I've lost the weight and gotten healthy and plan to continue on that path. I'm also happy to know what it is like to be fat, it's an added bit of knowledge that most people might not know. We get to see the world in a different light. knowing both ends of the spectrum. We know the pain and struggle of being fat. We know how hard it is to get started and to stay focused. We know that it takes time and a continued effort to lose the weight and to keep it off. We also know that it is our faults and our choices that have caused the problem. I know that it is something that should be brought to my attention, just like drinking, smoking and anything else that is hazardous to our lives. I've learned that we shouldn't sugarcoat or enable this problem and try and say it's ok to be overweight. We shouldn't ridicule and beat down people for this decision, but we should help and support them.
My added opinion, probably not an appreciated one, but an honest one.0 -
is anyone else NOT inspired by this?! my heart is breaking for all women in society!! not to sound like a flaming feminist, but are we just OBJECTS? existing only to be beautiful things for men to adore and want to ****?! i freaking HATE this. when i wear sweatpants and no makeup i am invisible, but when i look extra beautiful (makeup/tight clothes/sundress) suddenly its like i am queen on the universe and everyone stares and awkwardly stammers and says `im sorry` if they accidentally walk too close to me.
no. i hate this. and i hate this even more because of how true it is.
i treat everyone the same. i will hold open the door for an overweight person in a wheelchair just as quickly as i would hold open the door for ms. america. i would (AND DO) strike up a conversation with anyone, regardless of what they look like just the same. i dont say mean things about fat people even to the secretly on side at my friends, i cringe when my friends do it and i call them out on it. i dont hate fat people, bash them, think theyre lazy/disgusting/hideous because I DONT KNOW THEIR STRUGGLE so i cant judge them. society sickens me and i hate that you have to look good to be treated like a person what is WRONG with this picture?! wake UP.:explode:
Well said!!!!0 -
I was wondering when someone was going to say this because I was thinking the same thing and beginning to think maybe I was missing something???? I don't like this article at all and honestly don't find a lot of truth to it. Maybe it has to do with where I live. I've been skinny, I've been fat, never did I see these differences. IDK seems weird to me. Maybe I just don't hang with the same people she does, I really don't know. But, my initial thought was, "wow I would never be with a man who said that he wouldn't be with me for how I looked" That's not the kind of man I want. I'm so lucky and thankful to have a man who loves me for me, whether I'm skinny, fat, whatever. I'm sad other people don't have that.
No, I don't think you were missing anything. It's just people, I'm assuming, automatically see the good since she lost so much and is keeping it off. My boyfriend met me when I was skinnier and has been with me since. He's not once said he would leave me if I gained even more. He loves me for me. I'm back down to what I was, but I see your point. I'm all for mind over body. That's why a person should be with another. Where I grew up, it was similar. Of course, in school, there were those who were immature enough to start with the name calling, but most people do grow out of it. Plus, when you're in a farm community, there's going to be the extremes of the spectrum.Yeah i do find it weird that her man would leave her for being bigger... what will happen if she gets pregnant?? ive been 200 and my husband still looked at me like i was the most gorgeous thing ever.
In all honestly, I'm hoping it wasn't exactly what's meant. I have, however, heard horror stories where men and lesbian women would leave their SOs due to pregnancy. Here's hoping it's a different scenario entirely.I agree with you about how she shouldn't be dating a guy who would leave her if she got fat. However, I don't think there is anything wrong about losing weight to feel better about your body. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health. Losing weight helps both!
I see your point too. It just doesn't seem like she lost it for the right reasons. Yes, I admit that it does ease your mind, but what if she was healthy before? Size isn't just from fat. It could be from muscle, genetics, diet, etc. Maybe she had muscle. At 5'11, she could have been built. It doesn't seem many people take this into consideration. I'm at 195, 5'6", myself and know I'm overweight, but a lot is muscle.0 -
bump for later, I am at work and cannot read it now!
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Wonderful read! Thanks for sharing!0
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Wow! It's really true though. I am happily married, mommy, but I still enjoy it when a man is completely obvious about checking me out. I've begun to hear the term - MILF - a couple of times when I've been out with my daughter. I like it. Not that I would ever act upon someone approaching me, but it just makes me feel like someone is noticing my hard work.
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This is a great article!
I actually read articles on overweight people in the workforce in my Diversity in the Workplace course during by Business degree- and it's clearly been proven that overweight people are more often over looked for promotions, and definitely are discriminated against due to their weight. As unfortunate as it is, it's how our society is.
This is a good read to see the social perceptions as well!0 -
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Thank you for posting, it's nice to read it from somebody else instead of just think it.0
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wow...beautifully written, thanks for sharing!0
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I have experienced this after losing 70 pounds. People in general are a lot nicer and men notice me now (where before I felt invisible). I still have 45 pounds more to lose, and I can only imagine how it's going to be then. I am and will forever be, fat on the inside. I chose to lose the weight for myself, my health. The benefits are nice (who doesn't like attention from the opposite sex) but it also makes me a tad bit bitter that they didn't see me before. However, I also think my confidence has improved greatly, so all this being said, they could just be noticing me more because of that. I enjoyed this post! Thanks!0
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AWESOME STORY!!!0
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"I hope I always stay fat on the inside." That's like my favorite quote ever.0
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If people are not willing to be there for you when you are at your worst, they sure as hell do not deserve to be there for you when you are at your best.
Sometimes I have more respect and compassion for animals than I do human beings. Humans can be so cruel and demeaning sometimes. It makes me sick to be even lumped in with this so called "society" sometimes.0 -
If people are not willing to be there for you when you are at your worst, they sure as hell do not deserve to be there for you when you are at your best.
Sometimes I have more respect and compassion for animals than I do human beings. Humans can be so cruel and demeaning sometimes. It makes me sick to be even lumped in with this so called "society" sometimes.
Truer words have never been spoken.0 -
This article applies not only to fat - it applies to everything (in a western society) that falls outside of western ideals.
For example, I used to dress like a boy. That was what I liked to wear, not really for any reason other than that i liked it and could do lots in it and didn't really care about clothes much. Probably the only thing more terrifying than a girl who dresses like a boy is a boy who dresses like a girl...
I am by no means 'ugly', but if I throw my hair in a pony tail I with boy's clothes I could probably be considered plain.
A few years ago I met a nice guy - the first guy I have ever REALLY been drawn to and sexually attracted to. I felt this huge primal urge to emphasise everything 'feminine'. I figured that there was nothing unhealthy about this, so I started growing my hair longer, painting my fingernails, wearing skirts, and just generally transferring a lot of my artistic expression into my appearance.
The world changed completely.
Suddenly, I was pretty. Instead of melting into a background with all the things that don't catch people's eye, I started catching everyone's eyes, mostly men's. They were suddenly much nicer to me, and much more rude at the same time... happy to leer and stare openly, shout out car windows.
My friends, many of whom were feminists, started to judge me very poorly and treat me badly. A whole sub-society that I enjoyed became cut off to me.
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Unfortunately, a large part of the reality behind fat-hate, mostly against women, is some underlying expectation that all women strive at all times to appear as attractive as possible. If you 'let yourself go,' cut your hair, don't wear heels, don't grow or implant boobs, or don't wear skirts, you will be socially punished. If you do all these things you will be rewarded.
As I am not a man I can't even speculate on what the social punishments are for being fat or ugly (or short?)...I cant only speak about what I experienced and what I observed driving it. It's like I was a bad dog who needed to be ignored, and suddenly I was a good dog who deserved lots of attention.
Fat is one among the many aberrations for which you may be punished. It is the one for which you may be punished most cruelly, though.
Others for women include:
- too muscley (too masculine)/not enough muscle tone
- too much makeup/no makeup
- too much hair
- short hair
- pants/shorts (oh if you don't wear a skirt you won't even believe how much reward skirts get)
- shoulders too big/hips too small
- too aggressive
The perversion is not what men find attractive, so much as the fact that it is applied to EVERY social/work interaction and opportunity.
The downside, of course, is that if you manage to find the right balance between all of these things, suddenly the social reward switches around to punishment - you must be a b*tch and a bimbo and deserve to be treated poorly and sexually harassed and leered at because that's all you're good for.
It's a messy world out there.
I love this post. I was a tom-boy; very much into sports, very much didn't care what people thought about what I wore...big shirts, loose jeans, whatever was comfortable and I could afford and frankly i was a little over-weight too. After college, I went into law enforcement; a very male dominated field, no doubt. I am now at the mid-management level within law enforcement and occasionally have to opportunity to not be in uniform. I feel uncomfortable around my male co-workers because they always feel the need to comment. WOW - you look totally different out of uniform...LEER/STARE/INAPPROPRIATE CLOSENESS. Frankly, I am married and don't want the attention. My point, I guess is that I totally relate to the double standard mindset - for both men and women. I'm a cop and a female, so I must be a lesbian too - really? And God forbid I wear a dress to the office. People talk for days. UGH!!!0
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