"Lost 100lbs & found out what the world thinks of fat ppl"

melbot24

I hope I always stay fat on the inside, too.

katielauren2001

Disagree very much about the above comment... anyways enough about that. I am very self concious about the way I look despite being told I'm pretty etc. I don't have that much to lose, but I am overweight because of a medical condition and I eat alot healthier than many other people I know and yet I still struggle to lose weight. It's a problem with society, where women are expected to be like those in magazines - it puts unrealistic images into people's minds and the media criticises those who are not like these 'perfect' women. Lose weight but not for others, lose weight because it will make you healthier and happier - though acceptance in society shouldn't be a priority.

JMarigold

I've never been morbidly obese but I'm usually an outsider in some way. It's hard.

Appearance wise though, yes all of society judges you on your appearance. Blonde or brunette. Skinny or fat. I'm a natural blonde and I look young and I'm female--all of these things make it much harder for me to gain respect professionally. I've even considered going brunette but honestly I don't want to keep up the dye job. I know this in part because I have been told as much.

It's really unfair how much society bases things on appearance.

Now when it comes to fat it's particularly unfair. I think that a lot of people missed the point about this article. It's not so much about finding a significant other. It's the basic idea that people treat the morbidly obese differently. We're just asking them to smile and be friendly not to ask them on a date!

On the other hand I think that having received many slights and insults and judgments obese people often also see slights, insults, and judgement where there is none. But really who can blame them? This happens to any person who has been treated a certain way b/c of something in the past--we tend to look for same thing to happen again.

While in college I was in a group of female friends and I asked the group in general if they knew anything about stretch marks and dealing with them. A morbidly obese girl in the group acted as if I had spoken directly to her and responded in an offended voice, "I've never been pregnant, why are you asking me?" Now I was kind of surprised/shamed into silence so I didn't say anything else. I suddenly wondered if I would be judged if said why I had been asking--because at 165lbs I had a TON of stretch marks. Older and wiser now I would simply have said, "Well I haven't been pregnant either but they are popping up all over me." Point is, this girl totally overreacted to a question that was not directed specifically at her. But I'm sure she had been judged in the past.

Another thing to consider. As a result of my experiences with people like this, I found especially when I was younger that I just DIDN'T know how to act around them. In public I would avoid eye contact b/c I didn't want them to think I was staring or judging. I might even avoid talking too much for fear of saying something that would be found offensive. Let me extend this even further. I often react the same way to any person who doesn't fit the social norm. And I don't think I'm alone in facing the simple dilemma of not knowing what to do or how to act. I wasn't always like this--interactions with people taught me to be afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing for fear of offending. The fact that the people who get offended were taught they are probably being judged b/c of their appearance by THEIR past experience doesn't help MY personal dilemma despite the fact that initially I wasn't judging.

slkehl

Very interesting, thanks for posting

DawnB86

bump

m16shane

bump

stephanieburris

So true..all of it. Thanks for sharing your success and for being true to yourself.

imstartingwithme

Interesting read! I'm so fed up with fat shaming in this society! I can't wait to know what it's like not to feel second-rate because of my weight.

jenalderman

This has been my experience too! Except, I find that the fitter I get is the nicer and more attentive the male species are. However, I have female friends who hardly talk to me any more. I guess I was the fat friend...lol. Other females I run into are more stand-offish and some even seem to be caddy about my weight loss.

The overall result though is that I no longer get viewed as lazy even though I never was....I just ate too much. I get treated as more intellegent even though I'm pretty sure losing weight did not increase my IQ at all. I even get told that I look younger even though at 46 my skin has not bounced back like it should from the loss of fat so I have far more wrinkles and drooping than ever before. Oh well.....not complaining.......... I wouldn't go back to being miserably overweight!

ShellHubbard

bump, like this post!

str8bowbabe

I am currently 30lbs over my goal. I am at my heaviest that I have ever been including 3 pregnancies. I have 2 sisters that I adore but they are bigger than I am. I am petrified that if I do not get a hold of this now I will end up like them and with this kind of abuse. I was always small but never was the person making fun of others. I have taught my children to not judge anyone. No one knows someone elses' situation. I am scared of society as a overweight person. I remember the days when men tripped over themselves to open doors for me...now I open doors for them. I have not heard vicious comments but I see the looks. This is why I am here...to get "me" back. This kind of treatment of anyone just makes me sick.

samsimuk

love it ... 25kg down i can relate to that. ppl percieve me differently those who would have walk past me years ago now love to stop and chat ... its amazing like ive had a personality transplant or something !!

peaceinside

bump

MrDude_1

love it ... 25kg down i can relate to that. ppl percieve me differently those who would have walk past me years ago now love to stop and chat ... its amazing like ive had a personality transplant or something !!

dont assume you havent changed either now.
you are probably standing up straighter, making more eye contact and are giving more social body language because you are now more confident.

katm427

A brilliant reminder to not judge only by appearance. I know that I've caught myself judging someone by only their looks from time to time, and I have to remind myself that appearance isn't everything - and that it doesn't come anywhere close to defining a person.

lilRicki

what a great article...thanx for posting!

BG10708

For those of us with a substantial amount of weight to lose - this article, and the wonderful responses, give us some idea of what life might be like when we reach our goal - the difference between being experiencing life as a "normal" person versus an obese person.

Thank you all for sharing your stories.

LiteBrite007

Wow great! I an losing weight for all the same selfish reasons. Hey but I'm shallow and I can admit that.

troubleshooter2012

First of all, congratulations for losing 100lbs..great job ! You know, people don't realize when they look at someone that they are doing exactly what we are taught not to do. We have all been told at some point, "Never judge a book by it's cover" and that is so true because no matter if you are a tiny person or an overweight person, you're still that wonderful person inside of that cover who can smile, laugh and have a good time with friends and family just the same as anyone else. Not only do I weigh in on my bathroom scales but I also weigh in on my Wii which was a gift from my daughter and son-in-law and everytime I get on that Wii it tells me I am obese, but I keep plugging away like everyone else. I thank the good Lord for friends and family who got me involved with my fitness pal because I couldn't lose weight for years until now and I would never have gotten to read this beautiful story. Thank you for sharing this story and keep up the good work all you guys and gals ! We all need support and can help each other.

kikilareggae

I'm going to be honest here. This article is very thought-provoking and I'm sympathetic to her experiences..... But what exactly is the author trying to achieve? Apologies or sympathy? Or is she trying to change the way society looks at people that are overweight or "obese?" While tearing someone down because you think you're better than them because they weigh more than you is wrong and superficial, I also don't think it's okay for individuals to be content with being extremely unhealthy. To me, that's like saying alcoholics shouldn't try to change their habits either. Everyone should just stay mum and never interfere when someone is eating themselves to death over the years? What kind of quality of life can you have when you're 100 lbs overweight and you have type 2 Diabetes? My parents have both been technically "obese" for 25+ years and they are 2 of the most amazing people I will ever know. My dad is honest about his responsibility but my mom tends to blame society and anyone other than herself. I have seen firsthand how their excessive weight has robbed them over the years of their health (mental and physical), their happiness, and many life experiences with our family. No one becomes obese or overweight overnight. It takes time and a serious amount of neglect of ourselves to get there. Let's not forget what MFP is about. A healthier life for ourselves by eating right and exercising. Simple. It's not a pity party. Who cares if someone talks behind your back about your weight? I've had that and a bunch of other faults talked about behind my back. There are always going to be people who tear you down in life but who cares? When you know who you are and you feel good about yourself, it's easier to let it roll off your back.