"Lost 100lbs & found out what the world thinks of fat ppl"

aliric

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373LAZYDAZY

You have said what many of us feel and see in the world. We never seem to stop comparing ourselves to the thin world. When you walk into a room, the first thing you do is compare yourself to every one in the room. Even though I work, am healthy and do most things I want to do, the weight stares me in the face every morning and I know that it's for my own self esteem that I want and need to lose the weight. I wonder too what people say behind my back. Sometimes I just think "I'm too old to worry about it", but then most of the time, I think I'm too young not too. I'm 62...have a new grandchild I want to be around for and lots more living to do. I WILL do it....and I appreciate all the people on this site that share their stories, tips, pictures and lives. Thanks for your story.

ALW65

I had a chance to read through only about the first ten pages of this thread, so I apologize if this has been previously mentioned by another poster. It's a bit off topic from the OP, but I think the negative attitudes of society as a whole will perhaps increase in the near future~~

I'm curious about how the recent headlines regarding the current level of obesity and the projections for the next 20 years will affect attitudes towards the overweight. I agree wholeheartedly that our nation as a whole needs to stop and take a look at our health habits and the negative effects on ourselves and society as a whole.

Someone mentioned early in the thread that their obesity doesn't hurt anyone but themselves, but this is inaccurate. The medical expenses related to obesity our a big drain on resources. However, this is no different than those who don't exercise but are at a normal weight, smoke for years, don't take their medicines as prescribed, etc.

I review home health medical charts every day and it really is sad to see the long term effects of all these bad habits. I have patients with 40+ diagnoses - no one should have to have 40 different medical conditions! I sympathize with them as I've been struggling with my weight for 20-25 years now - it's hard to quit smoking, start exercising, eat right, stop substance abuse...whatever the issue/s may be. On the other hand, it's not fair for me to expect other people to pay higher insurance rates because I use up more health care dollars than they do.

I can't tell you how many charts I look at where people are on disability due to conditions that came about because of health habits rather than something like cancer, multiple sclerosis, etc. that aren't so directly tied to health behaviors. Often these are the very folks where we a a society are paying for multiple hospital/home health admissions and then the people won't even attempt to comply with the care and help they're being given.

I don't know what the answer is, but we definitely need to start from the beginning and work with our current children to learn health behaviors that will keep them from following in the footsteps of the last two or so generations. We are the land of plenty but we need to figure out the key to moderation in all things so we can continue to afford to exist in this wonderful society.

Best of luck to us all on our efforts to improve our health and well-being:flowerforyou:

Skyla08

Thank you so very much for sharing that story. I more then relate to it, and know exactly what it feels like to be judged on a daily basis for being overweight. Taking the train to work you are more then reminded that you do not fit in the seat properly and I feel like i'm always trying to squish myself in order not to bother the person beside me. It can be a very cruel world, and just because someone doesn't come out and say it to your face you know you do not fit in. I am happily married but would love to have a guy turn his head when i walk down the street, not for any purpose other then just to feel good. This story relates to a lot of people out there and is so very true. I hope to one day know what it feels like to be on the other side, but I will never judge anyone for there weight as I know how they feel.

luvinmefirst

I love it! People definitely treat you better when you are smaller!

Lib_B

bump to read later.

aqua_zumba_fan

This is fantastic!

Megdmcda

i very much loved it. thank u for sharing this insightful story.

channel11

bump

IsMollyReallyHungry

bump, will read later. But without even reading this I for sure know this is very sad from personal experience indeed.

Congrats on losing 100 pounds!!:flowerforyou:

ELIZEDAMON

I whish this was not true, but I see my little girls unhappyness and strugles and I know that it is true.

GenieM0119

I read this article and it not only bought tears to my eyes it also bought back some very hurtful memories. To have strangers single you out and make rude comments is one thing and hurtful enough, but when it comes from within your own family it's even more hurtful than you can ever imagine.

I began my journey weighing 265lbs. at 5'4' a lot of weight for someone of my height. I currently weight 196lbs. Bullying, abuse and stress are a difficult thing to deal with and I watched my weight increase and my health deterioate as I ate myself into obesity.

I had been singled out and pushed aside. My Mother refused to sit next to me in church, and I was always introduced as the "FAT" daughter or sister, family members or friends that hadn't seen me in awhile always greeted me with "you need to start backin' up from the table and miss a few meals" or "what happened to you'? The list goes on and on.

When you think about doing harm to yourself or consider using crack cocaine to lose weight because you see how fast in make the drug users lose weight...then you know you have a "serious problem".

Prayer and my faith in God bought me back from the brink of disaster. I am on a weight loss journey and a recovery journey rebuilding my self-esteem.

Remember where you were and remember how far you've come. For those of you with children or siblings don't bully them, but offer a little loving help in turning them around. It will make a difference and be a help to them in the long run.

donettetaggart

Amazing. I hope when I loose all the weight I need to that I won't forget either and stay fat on the inside.

vegamy

Very interesting article!!

Joy201

Great story. Thanks for sharing.

emanna11

I have to comment on this...I once weighed 280+ pounds, and that was hard. Harder than anything I've ever been through in my entire life. The way a person would look at you and quickly jerk their head away, like god forbid they should get caught looking at the fat girl, the way doors were always left to shut in your face, the way the booths would squish you and my breasts would practically be sitting on the table. The way it felt to go into a grocery store and know, just KNOW that everyone was judging me if I put one piece of fattening anything in my cart. It was a hard way to exist, that I never wish to go back to.

The funny thing is, that if you've never been there, I cannot fully explain what this existence was like. There's so much shame and self deprecation. The need to just hide in your house and not be seen and looked at.

Now that I've lost a lot of weight, though some of it was before coming here, it's hard to look at the world without the 'fat girl' inside looking out. I see people hold the door open for me, or people talking to me, and I still want to duck and hide. I'm still the same person that was always treated poorly, so the inside me doesn't understand the change. The really hilarious thing, to me at least, is when men flirt. I've been married since I was very young, so I'm a little naive in this area anyways, but since I've been heavy my entire adult life, it really hasn't happened much. Now when it does, I don't even get it until hours later...then I'm like...uh, was that guy hitting on me? Doh.

Wow, this sounds just like me! Does your husband have a hard time with how to react too? One of his coworkers told me I was was looking good the other day and I couldn't tell if he was proud of me or wanted to deck the guy.

Renee2GetFit

That was really great to read. It's amazing how our society is - it's just plain sad actually. Thanks so much for sharing this article with us.

Nteeter

Coming from being a skinny, to fat, and back to skinny perspective she isnt far off. I will say that, dont let being big hold you back. Some of the coolest nicest people I know are large people. No one bad mouths them, no one makes fun of them. I think people in general respond to seeing someone who is helpless and fat. Picking on someone weaker than themselves. It may make them feel better about themselves, I dont know. Those same people pick on skinny helpless people too. Im not blaming her for being weak or even saying she is weak but shallow people will always be around and its up to the individual to not let it bother you. Be who you are or make changes and she did. One thing I have found is that if I show someone my fat picture they treat me different even after meeting them when Im now smaller. They get this picture in their head of you and cant erase it. I dont talk to those people after that cause they are shallow and probably not decent people. Ive had family members even accuse me of being fat cause I was depressed. I wasnt depressed I just loved food to much and didnt respond to my changing age and lifestyle and it got the better of me, for awhile. Now they congratulate me, but I just take it in stride cause I know what they really think and I move on.
There is a stigma with being overweight, its up to us to change that. Dont let anyone keep you down.

silverkitten13

i love this!! ive now lost 90 pounds and have noticed almost everything in this article. i have two kids and with my first when i was about 40+ pounds heavier than i am now people would see me carrying her carseat and a bunch of grocery bags (obviously having trouble) and would NEVER bother to help or hold the door open. now that i just had my second and am at 130lbs almost everytime i go out some guy runs infront of me to hold the door open, ive even had random guys yell at the person in front of me if they dont hold it open.. its nice i guess but very sad that society is that way!

Jozie236

WARNING - slightly off topic

That's good stuff...lol...I get more and more motivated to reach my goals every day when I read posts like this...it is mostly a taboo topic unless brought up by an overweight person, but we all know society in general discriminates against fat people...I do admit, being fat does show a certain lack of commitment, lack of dedication, common sense, etc...but whatever the case, this was an excellent post!

I just can't let this go - Being fat does NOT necessarily show a lack of commitment, dedication, or common sense - especially in a situation like the OPs where she became overweight as a child, prior to her ability to make her own choices about what she put into her body. (Disclaimer: I was overweight since childhood and so I'm taking this a little personally). I think your logic stinks, and it makes me sad to see it in such an uplifting thread.

There are some people who are lazy and don't do anything to help themselves as the weight creeps on over the years. But, there are also so many heavy people who try crash diets and regain the weight, have binge eating disorders, drastically miscalculate their calories/make poor food choices even though they try, exercise, play sports, or used to be even heavier than they are now.

One of my "favorite" quotes overheard by a recruiter for a top law firm while I was a student: "You can be fat or you can be Black, but you can't be both." . . . I remember a morbidly obese white male student who used to shower in a shirt b/c you could see a little into the stall. I always wondered if he heard that comment, and if he had, how he felt about it.

Loved the article, BTW. And good for you for not letting your boyfreind's preference or prejudice (depending on what's in his heart) get in the way of your relationship. Live in the moment, it's all we have.

keno101

You can't judge people on liking what they like. The hard truth is some people prefer the people they date to be fit. And chances are by becoming fit your friend me now become attracted to you. Thing is he already likes you that's why you are friends, but attraction is s tricky thing. Just don't hold it against him, he is just a man and as a human being we can't help what we are naturally attracted to.

CONJL049

Beautifully written!

CowgirlKimi

I agree that the world, in general, is a very judgmental, and cruel place. Most people tend to take things at face value, never really thinking about all the possible variations behind one person's situation. Example: a few weeks ago, a friend and I were out to eat at a local restaurant. One of the hostesses at this restaurant is obviously obese ( for the record, as was I not even 12 short weeks ago). My friend made a comment under their breath that apparently "they hire anybody at this place".
I was really disappointed at that statement, and beyond that, I was saddened. Saddened that someone I care so much for could have so little concern or compassion for other human beings. And then I wondered.. what did they think about me when I was wobbling around at 218 pounds in March of this year? What is that all about?

Next example: I work in a somewhat athletic industry and I have noticed that since losing 40+ pounds, I have gained much more respect and kindness from my peers and superiors. Maybe it's me... maybe its because I have more confidence now... who knows.. but I personally feel that because I made this commitment to lose the weight, and because these people are seeing me do the work to make it happen, they are showing more respect to me as both a human and an equestrian. Which is nice.. but sometimes I look back at fat Kimi, and I feel badly that I kept her in a box for so long...

erinxo13

Really great article...I agree that people who have never been in the 'fat' situation don't understand what its like...and will never understand what it is like until they are in that position.

Zwissmiss

I found this article compleatly relatiable..I was a very obease child..then I lost a load of weight at 14..and sadly by my early 20's started packing it back on; and more People defonately treated me differently as a thin woman; particularly men. Now its as though I'm invisable and its hard not to feel resentful.

Tender78

bump

raiseyourgame

I feel like with the whole "opening doors" thing it also applies to make-up. When I go out in my sweats with no makeup, nobody looks at me but when I'm dressed up with my make-up on and my hair done, I feel like people treat me differently. It doesn't come as a huge surprise, but it's like I'm the same person with or without makeup, just like that woman was, with out without 100 pounds.

underthecherrytree

This was great!

lizalee1973

Thank you for posting that article! I can certainly relate...I was fat my entire life! I lost 160 pounds over the last two years and I saw how different life is when you weigh 220 pounds as opposed to 380. I gained 23 pounds over the winter and I panicked because I realized that I don't ever want to be that fat girl again. I'm back in control!

Csitri

Thank you for sharing, very interesting read.