"Lost 100lbs & found out what the world thinks of fat ppl"

140Aimee

Love this article!

ilovemybuggy

What a BEAUTIFUL article!! I love it

peggymenard

I have a different take on the story you shared and it can be summed up in one statement

"There is nothing beautiful about fat, inside or out."

WendyTerry420

This is very interesting to me, especially since I was once thin and gradually became fat. My mother used to tell me about this kind of thing, she was a chubby little girl and then become overweight with her pregnancies and just kept getting bigger. It now makes me wonder if people didn't pass me over on promotions because of my weight. I always blamed favortism, but who knows?

theprettyone1010

I absolutely love this article. But the funny thing is that I've had a somewhat opposite experience after losing the weight.
When I started dieting and exercising last June, my motivation was to "be acceptable to men" (I had really low self-esteem because of my weight and measured my self-worth by how men treated me). And now that I've lost 60 lbs, wear a size 6/8, walk around in a bikini, I've found that men pretty much treat me the same. The "bad" ones still ignore me, don't open doors, only want to mess around and not date, etc. But the "good" ones, the guys I dated when I was obese, still tell me that I was just as beautiful then as I am now and that I didn't need to lose weight.

So I'd say I never reached my original goal to "be acceptable to men." These social benefits that she talks about in the article really depend on the type of people you're surrounded by.

patchesgizmo

bump

RolemodelmomT

Thank you to everyone for reading it! I have read this article many times and it makes me cry. I am no where near my goal of 100 lbs lost, so it also gives me hope, but people always see a common denominator of losing the weight & feeling they can't trust anyone because those same ppl that hated them before now love them. It scares me to think of that. i am currently in love with my best friend. he knows, but says we are only friends. i fear that once i lose the weight he'll like me- and i'll just accept it. i dont want to be treated differently because of my weight but it is a reality for those of us suffering with being overweight.
it's hard to think that some of my closest friends, who say "i look great the way i am" are secretly thinking that i look horrible and should lose weight.

Thank you for the article, it definately gives me something to think about.

You absolutley read my mind! I realize that the ones we love...really do love us; but I honestly believe that deep down they think that we should lose weight and would be happier if we did. I don't know how many times I have been told that "I am beautiful the way I am". Sometimes I wish they would just be honest with me, my doctor won't even be honest with me...I mean common, I'm 296 lbs...this is not healthy; so tell me so. I need to hear the brutal honesty because I think that I am looking at myself through rose-colored glasses and think that everything is fine.

scs143

Love it.

don666car

i agree with everything adding i think thou obese men get it even more there not many women that like chubby men

imogene17

I dunno... I started around 220lbs, and I am now around 120, at 5' 7". To be perfectly honest, people are mean to me, so much more now than when I was overweight. Case in point, I actually got hired to work as receptionist at a day spa where all of the therapists were morbidly obese, and at the end of the day, I was told that I was not a good fit for the the culture of the place, that at 160 lbs, I was too thin, and that just looking at me made other people uncomfortable and sick. Could you imagine saying to somebody who is heavy "You know, you can't work here. Looking at you makes me sick. Everyone here is uncomfortable just seeing you here." People would say that it's unkind, cruel, and all kinds of very true things about how inappropriate it is. But say these things to a skinny girl? A-ok!

And I hate that people would rather look at me than listen to me. Yes, guys ask me out, telling me I am smart, funny, creative, and exciting to be with. But then they text me nonstop asking for pictures, and if I dare say that I am not in a rush to get physical, I get the door, and fast! And I am ok with that, because that door is the kindest favor they can offer me, if that's really all they're after. I didn't like it when chubby chasers would go after me either, or when guys would come right out and say "Hey, I don't mind that you're a big girl. You look good for your size!" But that has nothing to do with me. That foot-in-mouth disease is THEIR issue, and not mine. And once I got to be under a size ten, people really started losing interest. At 120 lbs, I still have 38" hips and a D cup, so it's not like I'm all sharp and pointy everywhere. It's just... I dunno. Maybe people feel threatened? My husband of eight years left me for a significantly heavier woman, even though I was a medically healthy weight when we met, but we were kids, and before I moved away from the neighborhood where we had both lived, he pulled me aside and said "Hon, I know you've worked hard for this, but you've always looked better with a little more weight on you." Nobody ever says "Hon, I know you're a really good cook, but you've always looked better with a trimmer waistline."

I mean, I am glad that I have lost this much weight. Before, I was tired all the time, and any time I had a medical issue, doctors would ignore my complaints, insisting that every symptom was "normal" for a fat person, but that if I just lost the weight, it would all go away. It takes a lot p!ss and vinegar to look somebody in the eye and say "You told me it was because I was fat. Now that I have lost a hundred pounds, will you at least run some blood tests?" So I get medical attention when I need it now, but now that I am slender, everything is anxiety. "Clearly it's anxiety, because look at you! You don't even EAT!" I assure you that I eat all day, but eat in such a way that I maintain a healthy BMI now, and have been holding a healthy range for four years. (I actually have a degree in health and wellness, so please no assumptions about disordered eating or body dysmorphic thinking, thank you.)

And at work, clients tease me... "Oh, is the little girl going to take care of me now? Do you need me to lift that clip board for you? Let me sit down before you get too close. I don't want to make any quick movements that might cause a draft and blow you away." Ha effing ha. It wouldn't be funny if they said "Oh is the big girl going to take care of me? Let me sit down before you walk in, because I would hate for the earthquake of your steps to knock me over."

The bottom line is that people are people. You can't say that all fat people are one way, and all skinny people are another, and all in between people are such and such. I tire of the whole "This is what a REAL woman looks like!" meme. What? Are other women imaginary? I'm not imaginary at 120 lbs any more than I was at 220. Mean is mean, whether you are fat or thin. People who will judge on appearances will think that you are stuck up and fake if you look good at any size, or disgraceful and laughable if you look bad at any size. People who want to judge will judge.

Losing weight only solves one problem-- the weight problem. If you are insecure, you will find other things to be insecure about. If you love yourself, and know how to put your best side forward, you will do that at any size. There is a great video on YouTube called "A Fat Rant." I recommend it to anybody who wants a nice seven minutes and forty six seconds of friendly but well considered straight talk.

Best of luck to all of you. Breathing more easily, feeling more energetic, and being able to keep up with my son have been the best part of this. I can actually stand on my head now. I'm working on my hand stand now. I want to learn to ride a bike next. I have been skydiving (in a custom made super hero outfit), snorkeling, kayaking... all things I was either too afraid or too short of breath to do. I still can't find clothes that fit at most stores, and if I drop one more size, no more Old Navy for me. But getting there is such a sense of accomplishment. Feeling better. Being younger all of a sudden. Knowing that the judgmental things people have said aren't true. It's all gold.

But speaking of judgmental... we've all been on the receiving end. Stop the cycle of exchange. Don't assume that it's us and them. We're just one, big, diverse "us." Fat, skinny... we're all just people.

FeebRyan

I think its good that society is intollerant of fat people. Really its bad for you, bad for the environment and bad for your children.

Its a bit like saying its wrong for people to be intollerant of homophobic or racist people. Well no actually, if you CHOOSE to do something damaging to yourself or your fellow man, you should have to deal with that distain.

I also believe though, that only healthy food should be allowed to be advertised by physically attractive people. I think McDonalds adverts and chocolate adverts should be filled with morbidly obese adults and children.

MommyMakeover

Great read! Thanks for posting it.

jennaworksout

thanks for sharing! I totally get it too

Aquarian

There was a forum post the other day, beating people up who are not attracted to those that fall into the "obese" category. I say people have the right to be attracted to which suits them - be it fit or fat, just as some prefer tall/short, (I personally married a disabled person - and while I was attracted to his attributes - and not his disability, certainly not all would do that.)

As far as being rude - saying rude things, throwing spitwads, etc., that isn't acceptable regardless, but I suspect if they are rude to people who don't fit their idea of ideal weight - there are probably other people who bear the brunt of their remarks, too...but gotta be honest, if it is just the pleasant attention you are complaining about now getting - it is just a fact that people notice what they consider "attractive" and respond to that. There are people that are fit that get ignored too...

This. I feel that this stigma is not reserved for "fat" people. Humans, as a race, treat attractive people better. It is in fact true of everything in nature! It is not necessarily about being mean, it could be just a reflex action, or a subconscious behavior. I have been at the fat end of the spectrum long enough to know that fat people lose out on a lot of social privileges.

I was slightly overweight in high school, and of course I was made to feel like a hippo. Then I lost weight, and suddenly I was somehow more popular. Then I had a baby and let myself go and became overweight again, and the world is back to treating me as a "lesser mortal". But at least in my case, it was all my own doing. At least I can rectify that, and I am.

It is my own responsibility to rectify that, if I want to be treated better. I feel worse for people with health disorders that make them fat, and for people who are otherwise not very attractive because of their height or facial features or skin diseases or albinism etc. They are suffering for no fault of theirs!

I think that it is not necessary to be fat inside or outside to treat people better. It is only necessary to have some kindness. Kindness does not depend on your looks or your experiences. Fat people can be mean, and thin people can be kind. There is no correlation.

Sloth_TurtleGirl

Yes! Life was different when I wasn't as heavy as I am now. I wasn't always overweight. Of course, I'm deaf which is a nice topper. The reason I say being deaf was a nice topper is because I can often see what people are saying. About 10 years ago I got a cochlear implant and people are more careful around me in terms of what they say. But, I know what they said before.

One of the reasons I'm trying to lose weight is to do better where my professional life is concerned. I'd guess that the author is a lot more distrustful of people than she used to be.

biggirl1000

Thanks for sharing....bump

JennPrebs

Bump ty for sharing, Everything is so true, overweight people get treated like garbage.

Rabbit914

I dunno... I started around 220lbs, and I am now around 120, at 5' 7". To be perfectly honest, people are mean to me, so much more now than when I was overweight. Case in point, I actually got hired to work as receptionist at a day spa where all of the therapists were morbidly obese, and at the end of the day, I was told that I was not a good fit for the the culture of the place, that at 160 lbs, I was too thin, and that just looking at me made other people uncomfortable and sick. Could you imagine saying to somebody who is heavy "You know, you can't work here. Looking at you makes me sick. Everyone here is uncomfortable just seeing you here." People would say that it's unkind, cruel, and all kinds of very true things about how inappropriate it is. But say these things to a skinny girl? A-ok!

And I hate that people would rather look at me than listen to me. Yes, guys ask me out, telling me I am smart, funny, creative, and exciting to be with. But then they text me nonstop asking for pictures, and if I dare say that I am not in a rush to get physical, I get the door, and fast! And I am ok with that, because that door is the kindest favor they can offer me, if that's really all they're after. I didn't like it when chubby chasers would go after me either, or when guys would come right out and say "Hey, I don't mind that you're a big girl. You look good for your size!" But that has nothing to do with me. That foot-in-mouth disease is THEIR issue, and not mine. And once I got to be under a size ten, people really started losing interest. At 120 lbs, I still have 38" hips and a D cup, so it's not like I'm all sharp and pointy everywhere. It's just... I dunno. Maybe people feel threatened? My husband of eight years left me for a significantly heavier woman, even though I was a medically healthy weight when we met, but we were kids, and before I moved away from the neighborhood where we had both lived, he pulled me aside and said "Hon, I know you've worked hard for this, but you've always looked better with a little more weight on you." Nobody ever says "Hon, I know you're a really good cook, but you've always looked better with a trimmer waistline."

I mean, I am glad that I have lost this much weight. Before, I was tired all the time, and any time I had a medical issue, doctors would ignore my complaints, insisting that every symptom was "normal" for a fat person, but that if I just lost the weight, it would all go away. It takes a lot p!ss and vinegar to look somebody in the eye and say "You told me it was because I was fat. Now that I have lost a hundred pounds, will you at least run some blood tests?" So I get medical attention when I need it now, but now that I am slender, everything is anxiety. "Clearly it's anxiety, because look at you! You don't even EAT!" I assure you that I eat all day, but eat in such a way that I maintain a healthy BMI now, and have been holding a healthy range for four years. (I actually have a degree in health and wellness, so please no assumptions about disordered eating or body dysmorphic thinking, thank you.)

And at work, clients tease me... "Oh, is the little girl going to take care of me now? Do you need me to lift that clip board for you? Let me sit down before you get too close. I don't want to make any quick movements that might cause a draft and blow you away." Ha effing ha. It wouldn't be funny if they said "Oh is the big girl going to take care of me? Let me sit down before you walk in, because I would hate for the earthquake of your steps to knock me over."

The bottom line is that people are people. You can't say that all fat people are one way, and all skinny people are another, and all in between people are such and such. I tire of the whole "This is what a REAL woman looks like!" meme. What? Are other women imaginary? I'm not imaginary at 120 lbs any more than I was at 220. Mean is mean, whether you are fat or thin. People who will judge on appearances will think that you are stuck up and fake if you look good at any size, or disgraceful and laughable if you look bad at any size. People who want to judge will judge.

Losing weight only solves one problem-- the weight problem. If you are insecure, you will find other things to be insecure about. If you love yourself, and know how to put your best side forward, you will do that at any size. There is a great video on YouTube called "A Fat Rant." I recommend it to anybody who wants a nice seven minutes and forty six seconds of friendly but well considered straight talk.

Best of luck to all of you. Breathing more easily, feeling more energetic, and being able to keep up with my son have been the best part of this. I can actually stand on my head now. I'm working on my hand stand now. I want to learn to ride a bike next. I have been skydiving (in a custom made super hero outfit), snorkeling, kayaking... all things I was either too afraid or too short of breath to do. I still can't find clothes that fit at most stores, and if I drop one more size, no more Old Navy for me. But getting there is such a sense of accomplishment. Feeling better. Being younger all of a sudden. Knowing that the judgmental things people have said aren't true. It's all gold.

But speaking of judgmental... we've all been on the receiving end. Stop the cycle of exchange. Don't assume that it's us and them. We're just one, big, diverse "us." Fat, skinny... we're all just people.

Thank you for sharing your story. I appreicate the original poster's article and this post shows that it's not just overweight people that are abused. And we as a society should be kind to everyone because we don't know what battles they face themselves. I'm not sure why its socially acceptable to make fun of skinny people. Maybe its jeaously. Either way you have a great outlook on life.

Kotuliak

Thanks for sharing this great story!

Some may disagree, but to me this is an inspiration to stay fit rather than an excuse for my laziness.

franmetamorphisis

Amazing read.

SaraRT1983

I've read this before but I still LOVE that the person wrote this! Thanks for sharing!

debjae

Thank you for sharing

AsaThorsWoman

I can relate to this in a reverse manner. I spent most of my life 130-145 lb. Everywhere I went men cat-called, propositioned, invited me out. I turned into a nasty mean person. A man would just walk up to me asking a question like "Do you know where the bathroom is" and I would meanly and sternly, almost yelling to embarass him "NO!"

Flash forward to 25, I started gaining weight and LOVED IT!

I could walk in the store and buy a box of tampons and NO ONE FLIRTED AT ALL.That was new and peaceful.

But then a time came when I wanted male attention, and like the girl in the story mentioned, everyone wanted to have sex, but few were even the least bit interested in commitment.

Yes, it's a different world out there for a skinny girl. Be careful what you wish for.

mylifeisbeautiful

wow. Great writing and a powerful message.

conure2

Thanks for sharing! Very insightful!

Nekoashi

Thanks for sharing!

Even though I don't think I look anything remotely close to what society deems as hot and attractive, I still try to be confident in myself and happy with myself... I'm told this shows through where everyone just sees the real you and looks past the exterior; confidence is sexy :glasses:

amadacorazon

bump...to read later

joehempel

Sounds like to me she needs to re-evaluate herself....seems to be turning into the people she didn't like.

brevislux

I feel very sad to say this, but if you're a woman, you'd get bad treatment from society no matter what. It just comes in different forms.
If you're too fat or too skinny, don't dress or wear make-up according to fashion, people would ignore or ridicule you.
If you're the way society expects you to be, you'd get sexual harassment and undermining if you want to do something that's not stereotypically 'female', say, changing your tire.
If you want respect on this Earth the best thing you can do is be born male. It's sad but I think it is the truth. And I don't let it get to me most of the time because I know my worth, but I still feel it, every day.

MikesterAZ

As a former "fat boy" I can vouch for the amazing difference 100 pounds makes. Thank you for sharing this and reminding me why I am doing this. I am also dealing with self-esteem issues since I have lingering defense mechanisms yet discovered an egomaniac under all the fat. I discovered a very sexy man inside me who doesn't care if I hurt the guys that used to hurt me. I learned to use sex as a weapon but at the same time I don't always have the confidence to get away with it. I let men treat me like a scumbag just because I equate being desired with being loved ... that's common with gay men anyway, whether we used to be fat or not. It's just much worse with me. I pray I never gain that weight back and thank God for this site and the chance to get my head on straight while I'm at it.