"Lost 100lbs & found out what the world thinks of fat ppl"

jennyshipman79

Wow! It's really true though. I am happily married, mommy, but I still enjoy it when a man is completely obvious about checking me out. I've begun to hear the term - MILF - a couple of times when I've been out with my daughter. I like it. Not that I would ever act upon someone approaching me, but it just makes me feel like someone is noticing my hard work.


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sabified

This is a great article!

I actually read articles on overweight people in the workforce in my Diversity in the Workplace course during by Business degree- and it's clearly been proven that overweight people are more often over looked for promotions, and definitely are discriminated against due to their weight. As unfortunate as it is, it's how our society is.
This is a good read to see the social perceptions as well!

sesecat

bump

Ephena

Thank you for posting, it's nice to read it from somebody else instead of just think it.

kaetmarie

wow...beautifully written, thanks for sharing!

legnarevocrednu

I have experienced this after losing 70 pounds. People in general are a lot nicer and men notice me now (where before I felt invisible). I still have 45 pounds more to lose, and I can only imagine how it's going to be then. I am and will forever be, fat on the inside. I chose to lose the weight for myself, my health. The benefits are nice (who doesn't like attention from the opposite sex) but it also makes me a tad bit bitter that they didn't see me before. However, I also think my confidence has improved greatly, so all this being said, they could just be noticing me more because of that. I enjoyed this post! Thanks!

Errica32

AWESOME STORY!!!

ilanawithani

"I hope I always stay fat on the inside." That's like my favorite quote ever.

DB_1106

If people are not willing to be there for you when you are at your worst, they sure as hell do not deserve to be there for you when you are at your best.

Sometimes I have more respect and compassion for animals than I do human beings. Humans can be so cruel and demeaning sometimes. It makes me sick to be even lumped in with this so called "society" sometimes.

Allihexen

If people are not willing to be there for you when you are at your worst, they sure as hell do not deserve to be there for you when you are at your best.

Sometimes I have more respect and compassion for animals than I do human beings. Humans can be so cruel and demeaning sometimes. It makes me sick to be even lumped in with this so called "society" sometimes.

Truer words have never been spoken.

katscoots

This article applies not only to fat - it applies to everything (in a western society) that falls outside of western ideals.

For example, I used to dress like a boy. That was what I liked to wear, not really for any reason other than that i liked it and could do lots in it and didn't really care about clothes much. Probably the only thing more terrifying than a girl who dresses like a boy is a boy who dresses like a girl...

I am by no means 'ugly', but if I throw my hair in a pony tail I with boy's clothes I could probably be considered plain.

A few years ago I met a nice guy - the first guy I have ever REALLY been drawn to and sexually attracted to. I felt this huge primal urge to emphasise everything 'feminine'. I figured that there was nothing unhealthy about this, so I started growing my hair longer, painting my fingernails, wearing skirts, and just generally transferring a lot of my artistic expression into my appearance.

The world changed completely.

Suddenly, I was pretty. Instead of melting into a background with all the things that don't catch people's eye, I started catching everyone's eyes, mostly men's. They were suddenly much nicer to me, and much more rude at the same time... happy to leer and stare openly, shout out car windows.

My friends, many of whom were feminists, started to judge me very poorly and treat me badly. A whole sub-society that I enjoyed became cut off to me.

...

Unfortunately, a large part of the reality behind fat-hate, mostly against women, is some underlying expectation that all women strive at all times to appear as attractive as possible. If you 'let yourself go,' cut your hair, don't wear heels, don't grow or implant boobs, or don't wear skirts, you will be socially punished. If you do all these things you will be rewarded.

As I am not a man I can't even speculate on what the social punishments are for being fat or ugly (or short?)...I cant only speak about what I experienced and what I observed driving it. It's like I was a bad dog who needed to be ignored, and suddenly I was a good dog who deserved lots of attention.

Fat is one among the many aberrations for which you may be punished. It is the one for which you may be punished most cruelly, though.

Others for women include:
- too muscley (too masculine)/not enough muscle tone
- too much makeup/no makeup
- too much hair
- short hair
- pants/shorts (oh if you don't wear a skirt you won't even believe how much reward skirts get)
- shoulders too big/hips too small
- too aggressive

The perversion is not what men find attractive, so much as the fact that it is applied to EVERY social/work interaction and opportunity.

The downside, of course, is that if you manage to find the right balance between all of these things, suddenly the social reward switches around to punishment - you must be a b*tch and a bimbo and deserve to be treated poorly and sexually harassed and leered at because that's all you're good for.

It's a messy world out there.

I love this post. I was a tom-boy; very much into sports, very much didn't care what people thought about what I wore...big shirts, loose jeans, whatever was comfortable and I could afford and frankly i was a little over-weight too. After college, I went into law enforcement; a very male dominated field, no doubt. I am now at the mid-management level within law enforcement and occasionally have to opportunity to not be in uniform. I feel uncomfortable around my male co-workers because they always feel the need to comment. WOW - you look totally different out of uniform...LEER/STARE/INAPPROPRIATE CLOSENESS. Frankly, I am married and don't want the attention. My point, I guess is that I totally relate to the double standard mindset - for both men and women. I'm a cop and a female, so I must be a lesbian too - really? And God forbid I wear a dress to the office. People talk for days. UGH!!!

purplemilly12

is anyone else NOT inspired by this?! my heart is breaking for all women in society!! not to sound like a flaming feminist, but are we just OBJECTS? existing only to be beautiful things for men to adore and want to ****?! i freaking HATE this. when i wear sweatpants and no makeup i am invisible, but when i look extra beautiful (makeup/tight clothes/sundress) suddenly its like i am queen on the universe and everyone stares and awkwardly stammers and says `im sorry` if they accidentally walk too close to me.

no. i hate this. and i hate this even more because of how true it is.

i treat everyone the same. i will hold open the door for an overweight person in a wheelchair just as quickly as i would hold open the door for ms. america. i would (AND DO) strike up a conversation with anyone, regardless of what they look like just the same. i dont say mean things about fat people even to the secretly on side at my friends, i cringe when my friends do it and i call them out on it. i dont hate fat people, bash them, think theyre lazy/disgusting/hideous because I DONT KNOW THEIR STRUGGLE so i cant judge them. society sickens me and i hate that you have to look good to be treated like a person what is WRONG with this picture?! wake UP.:explode:

i totally agree with u everyone should be treated the same we all deserve respect

mscoco10

this is so true. i've struggled with my weight since middle school. people are so mean to you just because your fat. they treat you like you don't even deserve to be alive. i always stayed positive because i love me no what what. It does hurt when people say you look so good now. personally I was a much better dresses and phat girl when i was larger. you never saw me with out hair, nails, makeup, and awesome clothing. I try not to take it personally b/c i get that with less weight it has changed my appearance. i 'm no where near my goal but i'm still trying. Society really needs to change its views because health should be your main goal.

jenn1990123

so well written, and seems true. I hoope I make it to the other side one of these days!!

tryinghard2012

This article resonates with me. I'm currently going through this...after losing 174 lbs, I noticed A HUGE difference in the way people treat you...including FAMILY and FRIENDS...

THIS IS MY LIFE. WOWOWOWOWOWOWO!!!

I thought I was the only person going through this. It's a feeling of discomfort...However, it's understandable why society's so ignorant..one word SHALLOW....:sad:

mdsjmom98

I've had people comment that they can see a difference. No matter how much weight I lose, I will always be a big girl. It's ingrained in me, for many reasons. I will look in the mirror and still see a fat girl.

gemmaldavies

makes ya think. good read.

LexieSweetheart

This article resonates with me. I'm currently going through this...after losing 174 lbs

WOW congrats on your loss:)

abberbabber

I'm going to be honest here. This article is very thought-provoking and I'm sympathetic to her experiences..... But what exactly is the author trying to achieve? Apologies or sympathy? Or is she trying to change the way society looks at people that are overweight or "obese?" While tearing someone down because you think you're better than them because they weigh more than you is wrong and superficial, I also don't think it's okay for individuals to be content with being extremely unhealthy. To me, that's like saying alcoholics shouldn't try to change their habits either. Everyone should just stay mum and never interfere when someone is eating themselves to death over the years? What kind of quality of life can you have when you're 100 lbs overweight and you have type 2 Diabetes? My parents have both been technically "obese" for 25+ years and they are 2 of the most amazing people I will ever know. My dad is honest about his responsibility but my mom tends to blame society and anyone other than herself. I have seen firsthand how their excessive weight has robbed them over the years of their health (mental and physical), their happiness, and many life experiences with our family. No one becomes obese or overweight overnight. It takes time and a serious amount of neglect of ourselves to get there. Let's not forget what MFP is about. A healthier life for ourselves by eating right and exercising. Simple. It's not a pity party. Who cares if someone talks behind your back about your weight? I've had that and a bunch of other faults talked about behind my back. There are always going to be people who tear you down in life but who cares? When you know who you are and you feel good about yourself, it's easier to let it roll off your back.

There are ways to help people see that they have a problem without being cruel about it.

groovyfirechick

So sad but so true. I'm glad my boyfriend likes me the way I am and I don't have to worry about trying to find a man because I am not the "ideal" body type. I work primarily around men so it will be interesting to see if any of them say anything as my weight loss continues.