Need girls and guy answers

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  • therealkatarr
    therealkatarr Posts: 32
    As a guy, if i was planning to have a child with someone and their commitment wouldnt even go as far as giving up booze with me, i would be seriously rethinking my choices.

    When baby comes, theres going to a lot more sacrifices required than something as trivial as giving up booze.

    ^This!

    Also, just me being nitpicky maybe - but you're *both* having the baby. You may be carrying it, but it's not like you made it yourself. :P
  • Oishii
    Oishii Posts: 2,675 Member
    I have mentioned the possibility that alcohol could lessen sperm quality to my DH, but that's as far as I'd go. I won't be making him quit alcohol. What if I never get pregnant again?
  • dirtbikegirl5
    dirtbikegirl5 Posts: 391 Member
    If I were going through a hardship, I wouldn't want my wife to share some aspect of the hardship for no reason. There are more productive ways to be supportive.

    There are so many things wrong with this statement that I don't know where to begin.
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
    My husband didn't stop when I got PG....
    My wife and didn't stop at PG. In fact, we went beyond R-rated to conceive.
  • Tashry
    Tashry Posts: 151 Member
    If I were going through a hardship, I wouldn't want my wife to share some aspect of the hardship for no reason. There are more productive ways to be supportive.

    Agreed. I never expected my ex to stop drinking just because I couldn't while I was pregnant.

    If this is the issue, I wouldn't worry about it.

    If that actual issue is the feeling of his lack of comittment to your family, then sort that out before you get pregnant. Trust me on that one.
  • adamb83
    adamb83 Posts: 719 Member
    Doesn't sound like the kind of guy I would want to have children with, to be honest...
  • JessicaV623
    JessicaV623 Posts: 31 Member
    My BF and I are going through this too. I never asked him to stop drinking because Im not until Im pregnant, but I did ask him to tone down his drinking (Ie. Not every weekend) and when Im out with him and I want to go, he doesnt ***** how he still has 3 beer in his 6 left. Compromise. I think of my (Hypothetical) crazy pregnancy hormones and dont blame the guy for needing a drink every once in awhile.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    I would never expect my husband to quit drinking if I were pregnant. But that's me. If it bothers you, TALK to him about it.
  • Dauntlessness
    Dauntlessness Posts: 1,489 Member
    He needs to stop. You're the one that will be doing so much during the pregnancy. He needs to show his support for you and the baby. its a small sacrifice in the bigger scheme....says the guy with beer bottles in his profile.

    My husband drinks red stripe sometimes! lol

    As for "your having the baby"...you are BOTH having the baby. I would imagine he would want his swimmers to be as healthy as they can be. That's him being selfish. He is shifting all responsibility to you and being uncompromising... Once you are pregnant, I honestly don't see the harm in having a few drinks every now and again. Just as long as its not in excess.
    When you have a baby, its nothing but compromises. If he cant give up drinking for 1 month then he is surly is not ready to give up his life for the next 18+ years.

    I hope things work out for you.
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
    If it bothers you, TALK to him about it.
    Whoa, whoa, whoa... That's what WE'RE here for. Gosh!
  • BAMFMeredith
    BAMFMeredith Posts: 2,810 Member
    Ok, it's scientifically proven. ALCOHOL REMAINS IN YOUR BODY FOR 40 days. Even if he stops he still has alcohol in his blood for more than a month. I know it's sad, but it will affect your baby too. He can have problems with health, and serious ones! talk to him, if you guys are serious, you both must be responsible enough to handle that! Good luck <3

    Wait....what??? How does him having any alcohol in his plus hurt the baby? I'm so confused. Also, I don't buy that 40 days business. That doesn't even make sense.
  • cabaray
    cabaray Posts: 971 Member
    Ok, it's scientifically proven. ALCOHOL REMAINS IN YOUR BODY FOR 40 days. Even if he stops he still has alcohol in his blood for more than a month. I know it's sad, but it will affect your baby too. He can have problems with health, and serious ones! talk to him, if you guys are serious, you both must be responsible enough to handle that! Good luck <3

    Wait....what??? How does him having any alcohol in his plus hurt the baby? I'm so confused. Also, I don't buy that 40 days business. That doesn't even make sense.
    I'm with you on this. I call BS. Is there a link to said scientific evidence?
  • Sp1nGoddess
    Sp1nGoddess Posts: 1,134 Member
    He needs to quit for the health of your child.

    http://fasalaska.com/DadsBirthDefects.html

    That being said I did not ask mine to quit, and once I was preggers I encouraged him to go out! I actually kept going out, I just drank water.

    That is all.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    My husband didn't stop when I got PG....
    My wife and didn't stop at PG. In fact, we went beyond R-rated to conceive.

    I would imagine you might have to delve into the X for it to be successful.
  • UponThisRock
    UponThisRock Posts: 4,519 Member
    I'd bet a shiny new nickel his friends talked him out of it.
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    Trust me, he will need it while you are in the 1st and 3rd trimesters. NEED it. He doesn't have to stop drinking because you are pregnant. That honestly doesn't help the developing fetus one bit - now, what you do does impact that little lima bean, so it makes a bit more sense for you to watch what you are drinking.
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
    My husband didn't stop when I got PG....
    My wife and didn't stop at PG. In fact, we went beyond R-rated to conceive.
    I would imagine you might have to delve into the X for it to be successful.
    No. Once we got naughtier, we had the camera pan away to the fireplace.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    My husband didn't stop when I got PG....
    My wife and didn't stop at PG. In fact, we went beyond R-rated to conceive.
    I would imagine you might have to delve into the X for it to be successful.
    No. Once we got naughtier, we had the camera pan away to the fireplace.

    So just NC-17, then.
  • CosmicBella
    CosmicBella Posts: 195 Member
    I'd be re-thinking having a baby with him.

    Yup...this.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    My last daughter was conceived while consuming a fifth of JD and watching a Christy Canyon video.
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
    My husband didn't stop when I got PG....
    My wife and didn't stop at PG. In fact, we went beyond R-rated to conceive.
    I would imagine you might have to delve into the X for it to be successful.
    No. Once we got naughtier, we had the camera pan away to the fireplace.
    So just NC-17, then.
    Yeah. We kept it tasteful.
  • JennieAL
    JennieAL Posts: 1,726 Member
    alright so my husband and I want to try for a baby soon. Well I told him I was going to stop drinking next month and he said he would to. Now today he says why should I stop your having the baby. I feel like if he didn't want to he should have told me that when we had our four hour talk about it. I didn't push him into saying don't drink but now it hurts that he wouldnt stop.How do u guys and girls feel... What ould u guys do?

    Lol. Where to begin? Um... he has a piss poor attitude from the get go.

    Tell him: You get to pull out for now. Until you can get your s*** together.
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
    My last daughter was conceived while consuming a fifth of JD and watching a Christy Canyon video.
    Paper mache Kleenex sculptures don't count.
  • WhitneyAnnabelle
    WhitneyAnnabelle Posts: 724 Member
    I want 40 day proof, too. Also, good God.
  • doorki
    doorki Posts: 2,576 Member
    I'd bet a shiny new nickel his friends talked him out of it.

    ding ding ding

    My wife never asked me to stop drinking. One of us should have an escape lol.

    ETA: Also, my daughter was conceived while I was sober and my wife had just come back from a drunken night out.
  • BoricuaLove25
    BoricuaLove25 Posts: 12 Member
    I think u guys need counseling. Bringing a child to the world is serious biz. The changes have to come from each of you, NO PRESSURE. Have you ask him if he want to be a father or if he is ready? You may be but, i don't think he is. How strong and stable is your relationship? Guys always need there space and time , maybe a beer is his relaxing method. To much pressure would drive the guys away . If you guys use to drink together, why he has to change now????
  • morganhccstudent724
    morganhccstudent724 Posts: 1,261 Member
    You are still young....hold off for a bit...and




    Get a puppy!!! :flowerforyou:
  • doyledozo
    doyledozo Posts: 42 Member
    I didn't ask or expect my GF to quit smoking cigarettes when I did.
  • Il_DaniD_lI
    Il_DaniD_lI Posts: 1,593 Member
    Does he have a drinking problem or is he just a casual drinker? I don't see anything wrong with him having some casual drinks during your pregnancy, but that's me.

    If you don't want him to drink while you're pregnant he absolutely should not. The way I look at it is, you may be carrying the baby but you're both pregnant.
  • va_va_voom
    va_va_voom Posts: 467 Member
    alright so my husband and I want to try for a baby soon. Well I told him I was going to stop drinking next month and he said he would to. Now today he says why should I stop your having the baby. I feel like if he didn't want to he should have told me that when we had our four hour talk about it. I didn't push him into saying don't drink but now it hurts that he wouldnt stop.How do u guys and girls feel... What ould u guys do?

    I guess it would depend on what your motivation for wanting him to stop is. Do you want him to stop as a way of supporting you during your pregnancy or is it a "if I can't do it, then you can't either" thing? Why does it hurt you that he doesn't want to stop?

    If you choose to stop drinking because you are actively TTC, I think that's awesome. But, I don't think you should necessarily impose it on your hubs. My hubby stopped drinking on his own with each of my pregnancies, mostly because he didn't like the idea of drinking alone. lol It was sweet, but I didn't require it.
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