Harsh words & bashing instead of support & motivation?

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  • allysabee
    allysabee Posts: 123
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    I agree. I never understood why some people feel the need to search the forums for debates they can join in and then gang together with others and be rude to people. There's absolutely no reason for it - it doesn't make people feel good and it's very mean. No one joined this site wanting to feel belittled or humiliated because they might be ignorant to certain diet and/or nutrition information. If you're THAT unahppy of a person that you have to pick on others because of a simple question, observation or opinon, maybe you need to take a closer look in the mirror and judge yourself first.

    Give your heads a shake. It IS a form of bullying and it is a true testament to your character. Snarky comments made to make other people feel stupid are immature and rude. There are no two ways about it.
  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,864 Member
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    I'm here for the pie. And the hardass meanies who pretty much make up my friends list and brook no BS. And...the ladies who lunch. Also...boobies!
  • melb2003
    melb2003 Posts: 198
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    I agree completely. I understand that there are going to be those who don't agree with you, but some of the responses I've had are very condesending and just hurtful. There is a difference in stating your opinion and how you feel about the subject, but that doesn't give a person the ok to say hurtful things. I agree with the one poster that with this forum being on a computer, people don't have to deal with the consequences of their comments and can't physically see that they affect people. If we were sitting face to face, I bet a majority of the comments said wouldn't have been said in the first place.
  • DieVixen
    DieVixen Posts: 790 Member
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    I'm sure everyone will stop having opinions now that this has been posted.
    Next time someone's looking to go on a 500 calorie diet we will all just say AWESOME WTG!!
  • mrmanmeat
    mrmanmeat Posts: 1,968 Member
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    I agree. I never understood why some people feel the need to search the forums for debates they can join in and then gang together with others and be rude to people. There's absolutely no reason for it - it doesn't make people feel good and it's very mean. No one joined this site wanting to feel belittled or humiliated because they might be ignorant to certain diet and/or nutrition information. If you're THAT unahppy of a person that you have to pick on others because of a simple question, observation or opinon, maybe you need to take a closer look in the mirror and judge yourself first.

    Give your heads a shake. It IS a form of bullying and it is a true testament to your character. Snarky comments that make other people feel stupid are immature and rude. There are no two ways about it.

    Now you're just throwing the bullying term around because it's popular and in the news a lot.

    How am I supposed to know that a comment i'll make will make you feel stupid, especially on the internet when you can't tell the tone, etc.? Or how about if it's something that has been covered 304,002,198 times already and you don't search? That's not bullying.
  • FitLink
    FitLink Posts: 1,317 Member
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    I recently read several posts where fellow MFPers are saying harsh things to one another or pushing their views on others. Aren't we all here for the same reason? To get healthy and maintain a healthy lifestyle for the duration? The last thing I want to see is someone being put down for trying. There is NO excuse for bullies no matter what age, race, weight, etc. Everyone is entitled to their own views, opinions and beliefs and although you do NOT have to agree with them, please keep your negative and self-esteem crunching comments off and just agree to disagree and move on with your own successes. Now, let's get back to helping each other and MOTIVATING and SUPPORTING each other in our journeys! Thanks, and good luck to all!

    Unfortunately, we live in a society that views disagreeing as "bashing." You, no doubt, will see this post as bashing, for instance, even though it simply disagrees with you. In fact, you say "you do NOT have to agree with them, please keep your negative and self-esteem crunching comments off." Many times these forums are swimming in misinformation, which I think everyone has a right to believe, but if you pass it along to others, you should be prepared to provide scientific evidence it's actually true. You are entitled to your own opinion, but you are not entitled to your own facts. Facts aren't matters of opinion.
  • mrmanmeat
    mrmanmeat Posts: 1,968 Member
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    I'm sure everyone will stop having opinions now that this has been posted.
    Next time someone's looking to go on a 500 calorie diet we will all just say AWESOME WTG!!

    That's such an awesome inspirational idea. Thanks for being a rock in my corner for support.

    500 cals here I come!
  • Jipples
    Jipples Posts: 663 Member
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    Some people just deserve it tho.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    I think it's important to recognize when people are looking to help, too. If someone writes, "I'm just starting HCG..." that makes me concerned, and I want to help.

    If the "support and motivation" crowd had their way the only thing you could say to someone about to start a dangerous diet that will cause their hair to fall out and lead to eventual organ failure would be, "Good for you! I wish you all the best!"

    :noway:
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,732 Member
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    I'm here for the pie. And the hardass meanies who pretty much make up my friends list and brook no BS. And...the ladies who lunch. Also...boobies!


    i like pie....
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I'm here for the pie. And the hardass meanies who pretty much make up my friends list and brook no BS. And...the ladies who lunch. Also...boobies!

    I came for the cookies. I own the boobies.
  • FloraSin
    FloraSin Posts: 188 Member
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    assemble your team, and you can go to them for knowledge and support.
    Obligatory...

    61RmWFu1w6L.jpg

    I'm so freaking excited! I'm going to one of the marathon events.
  • allysabee
    allysabee Posts: 123
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    I agree. I never understood why some people feel the need to search the forums for debates they can join in and then gang together with others and be rude to people. There's absolutely no reason for it - it doesn't make people feel good and it's very mean. No one joined this site wanting to feel belittled or humiliated because they might be ignorant to certain diet and/or nutrition information. If you're THAT unahppy of a person that you have to pick on others because of a simple question, observation or opinon, maybe you need to take a closer look in the mirror and judge yourself first.

    Give your heads a shake. It IS a form of bullying and it is a true testament to your character. Snarky comments that make other people feel stupid are immature and rude. There are no two ways about it.

    Now you're just throwing the bullying term around because it's popular and in the news a lot.

    How am I supposed to know that a comment i'll make will make you feel stupid, especially on the internet when you can't tell the tone, etc.? Or how about if it's something that has been covered 304,002,198 times already and you don't search? That's not bullying.

    It seems each response you've made in this thread has been sarcastic. By doing that, you're making other people feel stupid. I don't need you to tell me why I'm saying something. And how many people actually do a search before posting a thread? Maybe they want some new, fresh opinions. I don't know you at all, nothing about you but based on your participation in this thread you come across as being snarky and rude and that's exactly what I meant in my original post.
  • hardten2lose
    hardten2lose Posts: 7 Member
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    Recently on Oprah's Life Class with Tony Robbins, he talked about how women affirm each other too much to the point that we allow each other to stay in our stories, bad habits, and stuck. Too often women don't want to rock the boat in their female relationships so we commiserate. Well, eating and exercise are BIG areas where this happens. I don't know what posts you are specifically referring to (unfortunately I don't get to read a lot of them! :-( ) But, I think we should keep in mind that rather than giving people a way out, we can be POSITIVE and motivating, AND keep them accountable. I sure wish I had more people in my life who kept me accountable rather than, "Oh, you look fine. Go ahead and eat that." ARRRGGHH!
  • GasMasterFlash
    GasMasterFlash Posts: 2,206 Member
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    I'm so freaking excited! I'm going to one of the marathon events.
    Excellent! No marathons in my area, but going to do the midnight screening.
  • WarriorMom2012
    WarriorMom2012 Posts: 621 Member
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    I think it's important to recognize when people are looking to help, too. If someone writes, "I'm just starting HCG..." that makes me concerned, and I want to help.

    If the "support and motivation" crowd had their way the only thing you could say to someone about to start a dangerous diet that will cause their hair to fall out and lead to eventual organ failure would be, "Good for you! I wish you all the best!"

    :noway:

    This will be my answer to all questions regarding not eating exercise calories, eating 500 calories a day, drinking pregnant lady pee, should I leave my husband/bf, I'm getting a boob job and need your prayers and should I have a baby or not threads.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    Support and motivation are meaningless if it's a bad idea they're supporting. It's not helping anyone to tell them they're doing a great job if they're on the wrong track.
    applause_1_.gif


    ^^^^ This.
  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,864 Member
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    I came for the cookies. I own the boobies.

    You could share the boobies. That would be motivational. Depending on how they were suported.
  • FloraSin
    FloraSin Posts: 188 Member
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    Just curious... Who went back and read that thread referenced as an example of being mean? The 'haven't lost since March' one? Oh, internet...Haha
  • Jipples
    Jipples Posts: 663 Member
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    I just wanted to say that you all are doing a great job! Congrats! Keep up the great work!

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