"You don't need to lose any more weight!"

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Replies

  • blynn2708
    blynn2708 Posts: 262 Member
    I get this from my family, mostly my overweight sister, she's my twin and my best friend, but she's not happy for me at all. Kind of a bummer, but I want to be healthy and fit, look and feel great! That was my goal for when I turned 40...which I did a couple of months ago and I do feel great and looking fit! As hard as it is some days, don't let them bring you down, just keep on:bigsmile:
  • ElPumaMex
    ElPumaMex Posts: 367 Member
    I also get those comments often, but I don't agree with other posters here that jelousy is involved.

    I think the explanation is simple: when you have been overweight for a while, people associate your body shape with the person.
    With MFP, I have been losing weight relatively fast (a bit more than 2 lbs/week), so naturally people that see me (friends, coworkers) really notice it and the "new me" is a bit of a "shock" for them,

    Also: rapid weight loss is sometimes associated with a sickness.
    So people get concerned about that.

    Whenever someone makes the "don't need to lose more weight", or "you don't need to weigh as low as you were a teenager". I simply respond with "I know that my healthy weight is at below xxx lbs, so that is my target".
    That usually stops the comments from that person.
  • jennifer52484
    jennifer52484 Posts: 888 Member
    I don't particularly like the comment "you don't need to lose anymore weight" I do however like a comment I got the other day "If you keep shrinking you'll be invisible" kind of funny but i enjoyed it.

    My friend told my husband that she thinks I have body dysmorphic disorder because She thinks I look small enough. That one made me mad. I found it pretty rude for her to comment like that.
  • Missy_Snipes
    Missy_Snipes Posts: 25 Member
    I had a discussion one time with my doctor about comments like this. His response was that we are a fat society and people aren't used to seeing others at healthy weights, so they look abnormal.

    I agree ^^^^^ !!! I am getting this a lot myself now but I still have 26 more lbs to go just to be "normal". I no longer say any numbers to anyone....now I have lost some and have a little more to go and I smile and end that line of conversation! I do think our society is just bigger now and no one remembers what healthy really is supposed to look like!!! You know what is best for you!!! BE HEALTHY!!
  • pixelberry
    pixelberry Posts: 167 Member
    I recently heard the same thing from my mother-in-law. Just recently I've been able to fit in clothes I've had stored away for over a year! I know where I should be though, 10 more pounds to go and I'm not just trying to lose the weight, but also to get in shape so lifting my twin 4-year-olds aren't much of a challenge... Especially the 45-pound little guy in the midst of a tantrum.
  • stephie4111
    stephie4111 Posts: 118
    you know what I used to weigh 205 at my heaviest. I now weigh 133 and want to get to 125. people keep saying the same thing youre skinny enough well i dont feel it yet. i really want to tone my stomach and waist hips etc. people need to mind their own business and worry about themselves.
  • Jnine25
    Jnine25 Posts: 126 Member
    oh yeah, just one more thing... don't assume they are saying that to be mean or because they are jealous. They might truly have a genuine concern for your well-being. If you KNOW they are being a jerk about it, then I wouldn't waste my time even explaining yourself.
  • sarah2954
    sarah2954 Posts: 291 Member
    I know, right? I think when some (not all) people say this, women in particular, they are really saying "If you lose anymore weight I am seriously going to consider you a threat".

    Hahaha
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
    I had a discussion one time with my doctor about comments like this. His response was that we are a fat society and people aren't used to seeing others at healthy weights, so they look abnormal.

    Can't agree more. I've told people my goal weight and they think Im nuts (165-170 for 6ft tall). At 185 im just crossing the line between over weight and "normal" My 39 inch waist is more than it should be. But they think I shouldn't lose any more. They just dont know what normal actually looks like...

    Exactly. I've read articles saying that one reason we have an obesity problem is that many people no longer know what a healthy weight is. I live in a city that is considered "thin," so I do actually see a fair number of slim people at all ages. That probably does help.

    Some people are also probably envious.

    But why do people discuss their weight with acquaintances? It's a personal matter. I guess it's hard if you've been successful and people notice. In the case of the OP, if she feels she needs to respond, maybe she should say that she knows from her past weight history that she is not yet at her optimal weight and leave it at that.
  • korsicash
    korsicash Posts: 770 Member
    I hear it all the time and I get accused of falling down the road of anorexia again. I explain I eat and that I just don't want to jiggle any more!
  • sarah2954
    sarah2954 Posts: 291 Member
    That is total crap. People say that to me at work. You look fine, you are so skinny (I'm a size 9). Except, I'm not skinny at 142 lbs (5'1") and I sure as h*ll don't "look fine". I try to be polite (I am at work) and tell them that every 10 lbs helps with my diabetes, lowers my cholesterol, keeps me off my blood pressure meds, and generally makes me feel better. And not just because I have more energy. I feel better about myself when I am working on helping myself.

    Just FYI, 10 lbs for me drops my blood pressure from 160/105ish down to 140/90ish. Big dang difference. And it lowers your risk of getting diabetes up to 50 or 60% (sorry remembering numbers off my head right now) and your risk of heart attack by up to 50%.

    So you go girl!! You are doing the right thing. :bigsmile: :bigsmile:

    Thanks :) Three women I work with are constantly doing different diets, I've been there 9 months and they are on the fourth! They obviously noticed that I always bring my lunch now and have seen the weight loss so they are constantly asking me about it and hoe much I've lost
  • Elen_Sia
    Elen_Sia Posts: 638 Member
    I still get that even though I've mentioned more than once that I'm toning up, not losing weight. They cannot grasp the idea that toning up is a lifelong quest that has no end game.
  • sarah2954
    sarah2954 Posts: 291 Member

    I may only live once (that's up for debate, isn't it?)

    :wink:
  • sarah2954
    sarah2954 Posts: 291 Member
    Once you throw a doctor in their people seem to get off your back.

    Good point, I'll use that!
  • Slhuth
    Slhuth Posts: 43 Member
    I'm also 5'3" and started at 156...now at 120 and just want to maintain.....I want to get more tone..110 is pretty thin, you may look sickly, but I am not here to judge...Best of luck on your journey!!
  • sarah2954
    sarah2954 Posts: 291 Member
    My aunt sat me down a couple of weeks ago and had an intervention-style conversation with me... and I still have about 15-20 lbs to go.

    I bet that was fun :/
  • kaybelmore
    kaybelmore Posts: 124
    5'9" 119lbs, Yeah i should prolly gain a little but i am also very active so its not like im sitting on my butt starving

    These are my fav crazy things to have to hear:

    "YOU don't need to eat healthy like that.."
    "OMG LIEK go eat a CUPCAKE or something"
    "You dont want any of this [name greasy crap food] why not YOU can afford it"
    "Why do you watch what you eat, you weight like TWO POUNDS!!!" (really people have said that)
    "Why do you exercise so much? You don't need it...."

    I like eating clean and healthy because its better for anyone to do in the long run and i work hard to keep a balance. I also take 1.5 days a week to eat the things i want to with some unhealthy things in there. I like to exercise because its healthy, and it's wonderful stress relief. Plus i don't look like I do with a constant attitude of "I can afford to eat this frosting and bacon covered pork fried rice frappachino" every day.... Treats are treats and should be saved for a special occasion. /end rant
  • jamiesadler
    jamiesadler Posts: 634 Member
    My little brother tells me this all of the time. Its irritates the hell out of me. He is 6'2 and only weights 135. I just ignore him.
  • meggawatt
    meggawatt Posts: 145 Member
    I'm in the same boat. I tell them I think I look good with clothes on, I want to look good with my clothes off. They are two different kinds of "looking good". That shuts them right up.

    This works for me too, that and I tell them about my goal of looking HOT in a two piece on the beach this summer.
  • sarah2954
    sarah2954 Posts: 291 Member
    I think most of those comments are motivated by jealousy, like others have said, but is it possible, that people are trying to compliment you?

    Yes, I think so.
  • delilah47
    delilah47 Posts: 1,658
    I don't know why people do that!:huh: Maybe they think they are helping, letting you know you don't have to "torture" yourself any longer. Who knows?
  • jamiesadler
    jamiesadler Posts: 634 Member
    5'9" 119lbs, Yeah i should prolly gain a little but i am also very active so its not like im sitting on my butt starving

    These are my fav crazy things to have to hear:

    "YOU don't need to eat healthy like that.."
    "OMG LIEK go eat a CUPCAKE or something"
    "You dont want any of this [name greasy crap food] why not YOU can afford it"
    "Why do you watch what you eat, you weight like TWO POUNDS!!!" (really people have said that)
    "Why do you exercise so much? You don't need it...."

    I like eating clean and healthy because its better for anyone to do in the long run and i work hard to keep a balance. I also take 1.5 days a week to eat the things i want to with some unhealthy things in there. I like to exercise because its healthy, and it's wonderful stress relief. Plus i don't look like I do with a constant attitude of "I can afford to eat this frosting and bacon covered pork fried rice frappachino" every day.... Treats are treats and should be saved for a special occasion. /end rant

    You dont need the exercise because you do it. People are opinionated and willing to share . :)
  • cygnetpro
    cygnetpro Posts: 419 Member
    I totally get what you're saying. But there are people who take it "too far". I have a few friends with eating disorders (diagnosed and treated), and work with a few patients with eating disorders. It does raise a flag for me when someone who is obviously very lean says, "Oh, I just need to lose ten more pounds." It's not jealousy on my part-- it is concern. Body dysmorphia is pretty common, and I sometimes see it at work in very thin people who still view themselves as "too heavy".

    I generally keep those thoughts to myself, though. But don't just assume, "Oh, they're jealous." Maybe take a moment and ask yourself if you are seeing yourself as you really are. If you are confident that you are, then go on with it.
  • meg7399
    meg7399 Posts: 672 Member
    I have this problem at work. I work with two kinds of women: heavy white chicks and all shapes and sizes of black chicks. The white ladies I swear are jealous as I am already smaller than them...I am also much younger so I feel this is my time and they feel its too late. As for the black ladies, they tell me I am too skinny, but they also tell me its a cultural thing. The skinny ones want to gain weight and the heavy ones are happy. They say black men like a thick girl...curves are sexy, etc. I constantly defend my choice of salad in the staff lounge, explain why I am turning down a donut, defend my sanity for "wanting" to run, etc. Drives me crazy!
  • sarah2954
    sarah2954 Posts: 291 Member
    I had a discussion one time with my doctor about comments like this. His response was that we are a fat society and people aren't used to seeing others at healthy weights, so they look abnormal.

    That is absolutely true. I saw a picture someone posted on facebook, it was side by side images of the "fattest man in the world" from the early 20th century and a police officer from the 21st century, and they were the same size.
  • 10acity
    10acity Posts: 798 Member
    It's funny because those comments usually come from people who could do with losing a few pounds themselves (obvious jelousy right there) i get it at work and just smile and say how great i feel about losing weight :)

    I have gotten it a lot but it has almost never been from another overweight person.

    I say: "My goal is a healthy weight for my height. I am not trying to be skinny, I am trying to be healthy."
  • HauteP1nk
    HauteP1nk Posts: 2,139 Member
    My fiance says it all the time. Yesterday he called me 'skinny'... LOL So not true, but everyone has their own opinion of the perfect size.

    As long as you are healthy then ignore others comments.
  • carrieliz81
    carrieliz81 Posts: 489 Member
    Someone told me that once... "you look great, you don't need to lose more" and I said, "yes, but I want to look great in a bikini." And since I clearly wasn't to a point where that would be the case, she definitely shut right up and said "oh". HA! Suck it, lady. Of course, since then I've put on 10 (damn it, control yourself woman!!!), but someday I'll have a bikini body. I swear. Someday it will be so, and it will be awesome.
  • cbenzerga
    cbenzerga Posts: 65 Member
    YES, it's usually family for me. The only person (in my family) that is supportive is my Mom, oddly. She actually said "yeah I could see another 5lbs off would look really good." My husband is so over it, always checking the calories on food etc. He is supportive but says I don't need to loose anymore. Both of my grandmothers are saying "too skinny" etc. But im 5'6 and 135 Im in a very healthy range but could stand to loose a few more and tone up. I also have high cholesterol and heart issues run in my family so this is very important for me to stay on top of.
  • blynn2708
    blynn2708 Posts: 262 Member
    oh yeah, just one more thing... don't assume they are saying that to be mean or because they are jealous. They might truly have a genuine concern for your well-being. If you KNOW they are being a jerk about it, then I wouldn't waste my time even explaining yourself.

    Agreed...a coworker sent my boss to me to find if I was okay, making sure I wasn't sick. I was flattered this coworker was so concerned...I assured them I was fine, just eating healthy and exercising:bigsmile:
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