He Called me Stupid..is it Emotional abuse?

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  • GroovyGma73
    GroovyGma73 Posts: 64
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    My guess is he has a little Pe*^s, and slaps you around and abuses you to feel manly....what a douche get out now before it gets worse
  • sevsmom
    sevsmom Posts: 1,172 Member
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    Get out. Work on yourself. A man who pontificates and then belittles is in love with himself, not you. Please know you deserve a man who will cherish you for YOU.
  • madamepsychosis
    madamepsychosis Posts: 472 Member
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    I'm probably reiterating what 14 other pages of people have said, but yes this is abuse. Leave before it escalates into even worse behaviour and he's ground down so much of your self-esteem, you feel you can't get out of the relationship.

    He doesn't respect you and you deserve someone who appreciates every bit of you. My boyfriend and I don't always agree on everything, but he would certainly never call me stupid for having an opinion that's different to his. He would DEFINITELY never make nasty remarks about my weight or do anything to me physically that made me feel uncomfortable. You deserve a lot more than what this man is giving you. Travel, cut him well and truly out of your life and make a fresh start without him anywhere near it. I would end the relationship before you leave personally. Hell, this is a weight loss site, right? Sounds to me like you'd lose approximately 200lbs getting away from this ****head!

    If you ever want someone to talk to, feel free to request me. Stay strong, darling :)
  • NewChristina
    NewChristina Posts: 250 Member
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    I started to cringe reading the first part of your post. But as I read on, my jaw started to drop and I went from angry to sad. I am so sorry that you're going through this and even more sorry that you've allowed it to go this far. Drop this guy and never look back. Lose his number and do not answer his calls or check his FB. You need to concentrate on building your self esteem. Be strong! I went through something very similar and as the other posters have said- It gets worse. Before you know it, you'll be hit hard and you'll know he's not joking around. Don't wait until then. Thankfully, I'm so far removed from that life I can't imagine it ever happening to me again. You can do it. Best wishes.
  • mommy1126
    mommy1126 Posts: 146 Member
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    It is definitely ABUSE!!!!!!! Get away from this butthead and stay away from him! You deserve better!
  • viviennemayer
    viviennemayer Posts: 29
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    First things first, Yes! He is abusing you, verbally, emotionally and physically. Stop the cycle now and you won't ever look back. Second it sounds like he may be a bit older and possibly divorced. If he has daughters and is behaving this way to you he's ruining their future as well as treating you badly. What he's doing to you he's doing to them. Think of it as second hand somking. In addition, if he is a divorcee, then think about why he is. Hmm, a failure trying to make someone else responsible.
  • misscfe
    misscfe Posts: 295 Member
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    You are absolutely doing the right thing by leaving. It is emotional and physical abuse. You don't deserve to be treated that way and should never get use to that type of treatment. I can completely understand why you want to wait and leave the relationship when you actually move away. just be careful until then. Hopefully you have friends and family to support you through this, you really shouldn't go through it alone. I am sure many of your MFP friends will support you also.
  • ElementalEscapee
    ElementalEscapee Posts: 552 Member
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    O_______O Are you kidding me? Calling you 'stupid' is considered emotional abuse???? Wow...I feel like I suffer from serious abuse now...........lol.....................

    Did you even bother to read the post properly? Do you understand psychological/emotional abuse in any way, shape or form?

    Yes I did, and if you even bothered to read my profile before opening your rude mouth you would *maybe* grasp that I have tangled with abuse in the past. And that is only what I have chosen to reveal to people on this site. God damn.

    So? Suffering with abuse in the past doesn't make you an expert, darling. And I read your profile. I'd have thought you'd be more understanding towards OP and not leave such an ignorant comment, but I was wrong.

    Oh right my bad, I know absolutely nothing about abuse since I never took an official class on it, absolutely nothing, just like I know nothing about, say, art because even though I draw a lot I've never read a book on it. Right. I'm not understanding because being called stupid isn't significant at all. Everyone gets called that, seriously. I am more sympathetic about the physical abuse, but I wasn't talking about that part. I just think it's funny as hell that being called 'stupid' could be so blown out of proportion.
  • styxx
    styxx Posts: 22 Member
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    OK there are two sides to every story but based on what you said this is very much emotional, physical and psychological abuse.

    Personally I would not wait for the trip I would get out - without trying to explain or negotiate because the type he sounds like is very very good at making you doubt what you know is the truth - just pack - leave - change your contact details phone number etc - and move on !

    And perhaps consider some counciling to uncover what self esteem or confidence issues make you doubt for a single second that you need to leave this guy !
  • cba4994
    cba4994 Posts: 147 Member
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    GET OUT NOW! The more someone realizes they can abuse you without you standing up, the worse it will get. The abuse will escalate quickly. It will not be long before he does something to further damage your self-esteem or hurts you physically. If you don't have close friends or family to help you, look into domestic abuse resources in your community. Best wishes.
  • JennaM222
    JennaM222 Posts: 1,996 Member
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    LEAVE HIM. no brainer,
  • Fit4_Life
    Fit4_Life Posts: 828 Member
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    How interesting that he gives you "limited access" to his fb profile. Hmm..sounds to me that he has other things planned in secrecy for himself. I agree with others..LEAVE and be happy somewhere else. :)
  • deadstarsunburn
    deadstarsunburn Posts: 1,337 Member
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    You're NOT crazy for wanting to end it when you go far away.
    You're so much better than him leave! You will find a guy who treats you like a princess so don't miss out on him by being with this sorry excuse for a man!
  • zophiel67
    zophiel67 Posts: 181
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    Take it from someone who's been there. This is absolutely, positively both emotional/verbal and physical abuse. You need to get out, because it will only get worse. I promise. BUT there's one more thing you have to do. You have to find someone, somewhere you trust and report it to the authorities. Call your local child protection agency if that's the only thing you can do. Because if he's doing it to you, he'll do it to his daughters. You can't take them with you, but you can at least put him on someone's radar to keep an eye on them.
  • minime2b
    minime2b Posts: 168
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    If you have to ask, you know it is.


    Yep.....
  • rileamoyer
    rileamoyer Posts: 2,411 Member
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    RUN NOW!!!!!
  • bklyngirl71
    bklyngirl71 Posts: 381 Member
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    u don't deserve that type of treatment. you're better than that
  • kingkm02
    kingkm02 Posts: 23
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    Your bf is a major douche bag and yes, he is a abuser. You should not hesitate to leave him NOW. Not after you move away. No one should put up with abusive behavior like that. He slaps you playfully when you've been bad?????? Cmon...if you have to ask you KNOW his behavior is WRONG. Dump him now and seek professional help. Sounds like you may have self esteem issues.

    Since I have not been with someone like this , It's all new to me .
    I just knew something was wrong for a while I thought it was me ..but I realize that it's not .
    I'm glad I'm able to pick up on the behaviour and not be totally blinded by "love"



    I was in a similar situation, he was emotionally abusing me by seeing other women and just ignoring me even though we were engaged and then married. I on the other hand was blinded by love and it really hurt in the end. It has been almost a year since everything was final and I am now realizing that I do deserve better and so do you. Im glad you had the courage to leave unlike me. I wish you the best of luck in this and your other journeys ahead!
  • chelledawg14
    chelledawg14 Posts: 509 Member
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    This makes me sad because just reading your first paragraph sounds so familiar - it could have been me writing it only two years ago. It IS abuse. Name calling is abuse. For whatever reason, he thinks it's OK to treat you the way he does and it has nothing to do with you. I went through counseling, police calls, etc. I am married to the man, however, who didn't behave abusively until we bought a house. I saw little signs after the first year together, but it escalated beyond what I ever thought I would tolerate. It's amazing how our minds/hearts get so messed up when we are in an abusive situation. I, somehow, have stayed married to this man (will be 7 yrs in Sept) - but he has changed because I CHANGED. I never thought I would be a statistic, but I let myself be one. The "deep conversations about politics, religion, etc" (mine is an athiest, I am not so I get made fun of for believing in God whom he believes is the equivalent to the Easter bunny) is still an issue and I just keep my mouth shut now or I will let him talk and when he stops I will say "I'm really not interested in listening to this anymore" and I walk away. When someone is abusive, there is usually an underlying condition - whether it's diagnosed or not. Stop Walking on Eggshells helped me so much. My advise - get out as soon as you can and until then, have Faith. Whether it be in God or some higher power. Seriously. It is what helped me change and become a better person as well as helped me deal, accept and cope with my husband's abuse issues (he is also an alcoholic and the narcissism increases when he drinks, ESPECIALLY when whiskey is involved). I wish you the best and I that you get out quickly without too much mental damage. Being with an abusive person will drain the life out of you and leave you in an anxiety ridden state of being. Something none of us deserves! I wish you all the best!!
  • rebecky27
    rebecky27 Posts: 842 Member
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    oh m gosh! This sounds like my first "serious" relationship. He was a huge fan of Rush Limbaugh, so much, that he sounded like him. Often went on tirads, and put me down constantly. I stuck with him for 3 years. Three years of my life -wasted. He had battered away at my self-confidence, I thought I would never find "love" anywhere else, and had actually accepted that fact.

    Then I met my now-husband. I finally understood how a relationship was supposed to be.

    Honey, you need to get away from this man. Stat! It's going to be hard, but it will be one of the best things you can do for yourself.

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