He Called me Stupid..is it Emotional abuse?

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  • Starzy696
    Starzy696 Posts: 133 Member
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    My bf loves to get into deep conversation about politics, religions,social events..etc...
    Whenever he does this , I try no to talk to much for he loves to just go on and on and on...
    Then he asked me some specific questions and I answered ,,he then of course disagreed..
    I disagreed again ..he then got defensive and call me stupid and said " That is the Stupiest thing I have ever heard " Last night he gave me a whole sermon bc the kitchen sink is clogged up..he said " Never ever in this house has anyone clogged up the kitchen sink drain ..it had to be .. you!" Made me feel like crap of course and told him not to be so mean about it . He makes comments about my weight and jokes on how I always like to think about food.

    Last night as I laid down to sleep he looked at my belly and made a face of disgust. He had deleted me from his facebook account ..he then added me but has restricted ..I can't see his info or photos..


    He tends to smack me for no reason, he says he is playing . Whenever I say something that he doesn't like , he "playfully" grabs me and " Playfully" slaps me on the face...although it's not hard ..it does hurt at times and I'm getting tired of him doing that . It's just so immature. the silly slaps on my face and my *** randomly uuggg..so tired. He then comments on when he was my age he had accomplished so much ..a profession, a good job, houses,cars ...etc... and while me I haven't done much. ...again makes me feel bad. There are times he will ridicule me in from of his daughters for either having said something wrong ..or for breaking something around the house..even if they were not there to see it ..he will tell them about the accident .
    AM I Being emotional abused ?
    sure feels like it ! I will be travelling far far away and will end the relationship once I'm away ..but I put this on here just so you guys can confirm that in fact I'm not crazy and this is abuse.
    I'm not use to being treated like this ..That's why I will leave him.

    I have been there before...it is abuse. Anything that makes you feel like you are threatened or brings you down that much, is abuse.

    My ex fiance would call me stupid when I would do something dumb (i.e. spilled milk in the kitchen, made a dumb comment) and just his tone would tell me he was pissed and thought I was stupid. Mind you there were other issues too, but he was constantly putting me down. That is abuse...no matter how you look at it.
  • brandyj89
    brandyj89 Posts: 29 Member
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    I say GET OUT of that relationship it is abuse! I was there in that same place as you i was physically & emotionally abused by my daughters father. You deserve so much better!! Don't let him talk to you or treat you like that. He's a pig and it makes him feel better about himself when he treats you that way!! I am so sorry you're going through this. I hope you get out and leave him for good! Good luck!!!
  • bethmac_va
    bethmac_va Posts: 65
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    If it hasn't already been said, I will tell you to get your BFF, parents, clergy, whomever you trust the most, to be there for you, to help you pack, to give you support and cry with you. This is the hardest thing you will have to endure but you will feel liberated and will feel so much better about yourself once you leave that abusive relationship.

    Best of luck to you! You can do it!

    :flowerforyou:
  • avafrisbee
    avafrisbee Posts: 234 Member
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    I am not freaking joking contact them and tell them what is going on. They can help and if something happens in the mean time there is documentation that you were worried.

    http://www.thehotline.org/get-help/contact-the-hotline/

    After my last post I was just hoping an praying your bf doesn't have access to the computer you use MFP on or can see your profile because if he sees this thread he's going to go bizerk. Contact them tell them what is going on. They can tell you how these things escalate, give you facts and real life scenarios.

    Now I am thinking about that Japanese girl that committed suicide while talking with fb friends and no one called the police to help.
  • eatherhey
    eatherhey Posts: 147 Member
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    He had deleted me from his facebook account ..he then added me but has restricted ..I can't see his info or photos..
    Pretty sure the relationship is over. Get the **** out of there. There is no need for you to stay and allow yourself to be treated that way.
  • mello
    mello Posts: 817 Member
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    There is so much going on here psychologically.....he is a sick individual.

    If you're so "stupid" and he's so repulsed by your body, actions, intellect, etc.....have you stopped to think why he stays if he's so unhappy with you? You are none of these things!!!

    He needs you as his verbal and emotional and physical whipping post. Telling himself that he's superior to you feeds his ego, it gives him a high to feel like he's so much better than you. As time goes on, these abuses will get more severe because he'll get more and more degrading to reach a higher egotistical high until one day he is going to seriously hurt you.

    For your emotional as well as physical well being, please end this relationship as soon as possible!!!
  • CinJay
    CinJay Posts: 157 Member
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    Yes, I agree! I was in a seven year relationship similar to this and the best thing I ever did was leave! You don't realize how much the emotional abuse, belittling, bullying, and in the end physical abuse really starts to wear you down, take away your self-respect and "happy-go-lucky" attitude. When I left I felt like I shed 250 lbs of crap, it was very liberating!

    Honey, in all honesty, you need to leave this relationship and carry on with your beautiful self. Don't look back, don't think about whatever "good times" you might have had together, remember how he treats you when he bullies you like this and move along. You'll thank yourself later... I did!
  • Navotc
    Navotc Posts: 97
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    From what you have shared, it does sound like emotional and physical abuse. Please contact a hotline or another caring resource right away and take action to separate yourself from this man right away. Mid-May may provide a convenient time to split without shaking things up, but in the meantime you get more and more denigrating comments and you get to feel ripped down as he tries to build himself up. You are worthy of better, no matter what! There are wonderful men out there, and it sounds like he is nowhere near that. Please, please act soon.
  • omanitshann
    omanitshann Posts: 179
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    Get our of this relationship asap. You deserve better
  • 4flamingoz
    4flamingoz Posts: 214 Member
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    RUN AWAY, AS FAST AS YOU CAN!
  • grapeeyes1
    grapeeyes1 Posts: 237 Member
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    You should not tolerate that kind of treatment. Leave him. When he calls crying and sends flowers and says he will change, remember he can't change and will always treat you like dirt. It will only get worse. You are being abused. You deserve much much better. God bless you and good luck.
  • andreanicole686
    andreanicole686 Posts: 406 Member
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    I dated someone very similar to this for 3 years. It took me awhile to realize that it was a sort of emotional abuse and I don't think he even realized what he was doing. He had always treated women that way. We disagreed on politics and religion and anytime I would say something he didn't agree with I would get some kind of remark like, "you don't know what your talking about" or "Why would you believe that. Your wrong." Or that's stupid etc. It took me three years to realize I didn't need to put up with it and you don't either.
  • michelejoann
    michelejoann Posts: 295 Member
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    He had deleted me from his facebook account ..he then added me but has restricted ..I can't see his info or photos..
    Pretty sure the relationship is over. Get the **** out of there. There is no need for you to stay and allow yourself to be treated that way.

    Yeah, I hate to say it, but more than likely, if he is abusing, and hiding his FB stuff...he's also probably cheating too. It's a power thing...power over women. I've known all sorts of cheaters -- abusive and non-abusive...and while cheating is pretty wrong -- the non-abusive ones were just horny perverts, but not pieces of *kitten* like this dude. Sounds like HE is the one with esteem issues, if he has to feel powerful by putting you down. Don't let him drag you down. You're above it. Take care of YOU! That is what is most important.
  • LynseyJean
    LynseyJean Posts: 10 Member
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    This "man" has children? Sad.
  • LisaRose54
    LisaRose54 Posts: 40 Member
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    PLEASE....dump this guy!!! This is just the beginning and will only get worse. People like that do not change and he will only get more arrogant, mean, and disrespectful to you. Nothing good coming from this relationship at all. Please leave while you can and don't look back. There are kind, supportive, loving, adorable men out there. Not all men are creeps like this one. Give him the boot.
  • aprilgicker
    aprilgicker Posts: 395 Member
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    Sounds to me that you should make an out plan and get the F*** out of there. He is one of those psychos that is seeing how far you will let him go and he will keep getting worse until there is no way for you to get out. Sounds like he is too old for you too.

    But here is the real kicker. You know this and you have not done anything about it. From what you are saying I can guess you have been with him for about 2-3 years. He just recently started the slapping thing a few months ago.

    If you do not leave, you will continue to be treated this way.You will lose what few friends you do have because they will get tired of telling you to leave, and trying to help you.
    This is what your life will be like in another year:
    you will be down to 1 friend.
    you will be unemployed
    you will eat only what he lets you
    you will wear only what he tells you
    you will clean the house even if it is clean
    you will be the shame of the house, and his kids will scorn you
    you will sport large bruises on your body
    you will not step foot out of the house unless he says ok
    you will not pick up the phone and talk
    you will have a cell phone that he will call you on
    and you will live with him and make excuses until you he dies or you die.

    Either enjoy or get out
    Remember it is your choice
  • mandylooo
    mandylooo Posts: 456 Member
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    Oh sigh. Clearly your reading comprehension skills aren't developed enough.

    Nah, I just don't give a damn about reading about something I'm experiencing.

    I read your profile. what you're going through doesn't sound like anything someone should have to go through. I hope you're getting professional support from somewhere. You can still learn from your mother funnily enough - learn how not to treat people for one thing.
  • chickentunashake
    chickentunashake Posts: 165 Member
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    He sounds like an a@&hole..... you need to leave him ASAP
  • XXXMinnieXXX
    XXXMinnieXXX Posts: 3,459 Member
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    So glad your leaving as this is certainly abuse, been there, done that, gets much worse. My fear is he will get worse when you go to leave for canada! I'd advise you go somewhere else and stay with someone for the next few weeks befire you go to canada, that way it cant escalate in the time inbetween.
    Im now with a wonderful fiance, whod never be abusive. Luckily i didnt repeat the cycle, but i have needed counselling to get past what happened to me. Seek help if you need it afterwards and make sure you dont repeat the cycle! Get to know someone fully before you commit to a relationship again. You can go on to live a happy life with someone who deserves your love and gives it you back ten fold! X
  • medaglia_06
    medaglia_06 Posts: 282 Member
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    Welcome to Canada, eh!

    Leave him far, far behind... do not give him your new address or phone number. Put it behind you and don't look back.

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