Fit Men / Un-fit Women

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  • auticus
    auticus Posts: 1,051 Member
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    Go **** yourself with a chainsaw.

    In the very best butthead voice I can muster:

    "I love you. huh huh"
  • chasingbabes
    chasingbabes Posts: 93
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    I'm afraid you might be losing now...

    Sorry, Charlie. :flowerforyou:
  • dumb_blondes_rock
    dumb_blondes_rock Posts: 1,568 Member
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    Well i don't have time to live a very active lifestyle, I work two jobs, on my feet for both of them, and when i get home guess who has to make sure there is dinner ready, the house is somewhat presentable, and that the laundry is caught up with? Yours, truly. I am TIRED when i get home, the last thing i want to do is go run a 5k or work out for 5 hours....but i do try and force myself to at least take my dog for a 2.5 mile walk a few days a week. If a man is going to instantly judge my lifestyle because im not 120 pounds, i don't want to be with him.

    On the otherhand though, I have always been overweight, but have always dated fit/somewhat fit men. Not that it's my preference, just thats who ends up talking to me I guess. I like a guy who has muscles, but with a little fat. I am a very confident big girl, which i think attracts men more than "looks" alone. A lot of skinny women are still so self conscious, and worried about how they look, as are bigger girls....but for me, it's kind of a "take it or leave it, cause I can get someone else who wants it" approach to myself.
  • ComicBookGeekGirl
    ComicBookGeekGirl Posts: 202
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    i shouldn’t have read it, but i did.

    Dear OP:
    first you claimed to be “fit" and constantly hit on by fat girls that you're not attracted to” then later changed your story and professed to being an “average guy”.



    now, why do fat girls like skinny and fit guys, when they should know that these guys won’t be attracted to them. essentially saying they should give up. is that what you are implying?



    ok, first of all. you, sir, are not God’s gift to women. calm your *kitten* down there, Tonto. seriously. I’m quite “sure” *read as “cool story bro”* that you get “hit on all day” by “gross” fat girls and poor, poor you have to just sigh and take it.

    you are amazed by fat girls that say “no six pack, no date.” really? i have yet to meet a fat girl, myself included that has the AUDACITY to spew such vile bull****.

    seriously?



    guy, let me break it down like this:

    1) we can’t help who we are attracted to. It’s human nature and innate in us to be attracted to “perfection” or what is the ideal body.

    2) show me a picture of yourself, figure out if you’re thin and fit or “average” and then come and talk to me, b/c i call bull**** loud and clear.

    3) every chubby guy i’ve ever had a crush on has brushed me aside like a lump of **** b/c he was too busy chasing the thin, pretty girl that was WAY unattainable for him.

    4) i see FAR, FAR more fat, ugly guys with thin, beautiful women than i see in reverse. not that fat=ugly, but it does happen that this is what i see. even the fat attractive guys. W

    5) YOU, SIR, YOU ARE THE REASON that fat girls that get hit on in earnest by hot guys are turning away because they think it’s a joke, or a cruel group of guys is snickering in the corner. YOU are the epitome of everything that is wrong with how society thinks as a mob mentality these days of “ew, fat girls.”



    thin doesn’t automatically=healthy. When i was 210 pounds, i was running *literlly RUNNING up the side of a mountain. not just a “hiking trail” i mean a real honest to God barely traveled by man mountain. and my skinny friends were ditching out on the mile run in HS long before i was.



    so.

    in closing.

    Go **** yourself with a chainsaw.
    I think I love you! :laugh: :flowerforyou:
  • dumb_blondes_rock
    dumb_blondes_rock Posts: 1,568 Member
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    I don't claim to understand other women. Honestly, they've always been a mystery to me.

    My own preference is not that strict at all. I'm all about a cute face. If anything, I'd prefer a little bit of belly to a six pack. I've dated six-pack-dude before and it's fun to look at, but sort of like hugging a brick wall.

    So basically, for me, if they have (what I find to be) a cute face and a sweet personality, I'm all good. No six pack, no problem. :smile:

    Thats me too, i'm really only shallow when it comes to the face and personality....Because what if i end up having a kid with this man? And i like height, but i have dated a guy who was only 5'8...so even though i have standards id like a man to have, my list really isn't that long.

    I think a lot of women or men who have this list of a million qualities they want in a s/o physically are just creating an impossible goal so they will never have to be serious with someone. It could be that they have massive commitment issues, or that they are so insecure themselves that they don't want to let anyone break down their walls and find out "who they really are". If someome truly wanted to find love, they would be excepting of any physic that came there way.
  • sassypoppet
    sassypoppet Posts: 23 Member
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    I wish men could give birth


    I wish there was a "like" button :)
  • sisierra
    sisierra Posts: 707 Member
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    All I know is that if I'm going hiking and a woman can't keep up; there isn't any way she's going to have my babies. It's either balls to the walls healthy for both of us or no deal at all.

    I find this whole thread fascinating! But the statement above rung most true with me. I very much want a man's man mate, I don't want someone I can out-perform. And why else do I like fit men? Fit men have muscles, which means they're probably stronger than me, which mens they can man handle me. As an aggressive, bigger girl (who is getting smaller) I am very much attracted to males who can handle my size and my personality. I don't like twigs and I am not a fan of morbidly obese. *shrug*
  • CouchSpud
    CouchSpud Posts: 557 Member
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    lol because I like my men manly - and I always been a active fat ^^ with lots of energy (nonetheless fat) not my fault... why should I go for someone who can;t keep up with my lifestyle?

    as for the rest I am so with sisierra - man needs to be able to handle me ^^ - amen sister
  • jillian769
    jillian769 Posts: 247 Member
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    Ok, so this is something I've been thinking about for a very long time now. And since this is primarily a female site, I feel like it's appropriate to ask here. The question is simple yet the answer escapes me.

    Why is it that women, overweight women in general, set their preference in men to be strong and fit?

    I've seen comments to the effect of, "No six pack, no date" and my man has to have {insert muscle type here}. I bring this up because over the years, I've noticed women, really the entire population, have become bigger and lazier in keeping fit and taking care of themselves. I see a lot of it here but also when out with friends. Most of my friends are female but I would never ask them this.

    If men are doing all that they can do to stay healthy by strength training, cardio, diet and active hobbies, why is it that overweight women without an active lifestyle would think that a man like this would be interested in them?

    For the most part, I am one of these men. Having to forgive myself for the recent uptick in weight, I am blessed to have found MFP to bring myself back into the big picture and have had great success. Overweight women have been attracted to me all my life but I find no attraction to them so this affects me regularly. Without going into what I find attractive, hopefully I can finally figure out what's going on here.

    Please don't be offended by any of these statements or questions; they are intended for educational purposes only and should not be taken personally.


    First of all, how about DON'T DATE OVERWEIGHT WOMEN THEN!!! Sheesh! If you aren't attracted to them then don't date them. It's pretty simple. Is someone holding a gun to your head??? Plus, personally I think your post is WAYYYY OFF!!! Women are much more forgiving of men's looks than the other way around. I see hideous men with the most beautiful women lots more than I have seen good looking men with ugly out-of-shape women. You obviously didn't see the thread about which body types women find most attractive in men. Almost all of the women picked the pictures of the semi-fit to very overweight men over the thinner more muscular men. I don't know what planet you are living on. You are a little too in love with yourself if you ask me, and guess what??? That is NOT attractive no matter how back in shape you've gotten.:angry:
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    Odd, I thought this thread was locked.
  • soccermoma11
    soccermoma11 Posts: 126
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    I think you are right on the ball! it really does seem unfair that woman can expect a man to be fit and healthy yet they can just let themselves go. I feel that if I want a man who is healty and in shape and fit i too need to be in shape and fit and healthy. I take pride in my body and my health and fitness. It is sad that so many people have let themselves go, I have standards and ideals that I want in a man, but I also have those similar standards for me. This is how it should be.
  • LilRedRooster
    LilRedRooster Posts: 1,421 Member
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    Odd, I thought this thread was locked.

    I did, too. Huh. Surprise, surprise.
  • abberbabber
    abberbabber Posts: 972 Member
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    I don't know if anyone else has mentioned this, but I've seen this go the other way, too. Especially on dating sites. I prefer my men on the chunky side, but a good percentage of those same guys list "slender" or "athletic" as their preferred body type for a woman.
  • fluffysexyme
    fluffysexyme Posts: 104 Member
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    My ex and I were total opposites. He was 6ft tall and thin but muscular, white, blue eyes and I am 5'8" and as the screen name says, fluffy :) you can see the rest lol
    I would laugh at the way people reacted to seeing us. They were shocked that this trim dude in an Army uniform was dating this out if shape, yet still beautiful cubby girl. I just referred to us as the perfect.10 LOL
    But, he asked me out, he pursued me and some people find that hard to believe. It came down to personality I think. He felt comfortable talking to me about being in Iraq and all the painful things in his past. I didn't push for the info either like so many did. He would just word vomit. I think that's how the attraction started. Then he asked me out an we hung out every chance we got. Then, I got pregnant and that really threw people because he was happy to show me and my huge belly off. He came into my job for the first time to bring me lunch and one of my coworkers came running up to me and said "who is that?!" I said that's my daughter's father and her mouth hit the floor. She said "he's really good looking." Umm... so because I'm not the "ideal body type" I can't date hotties?! GTFO!! I think once you grow up and realize that looks don't mean much, they will fade in time anyway, and it's the person that makes the difference, you don't care. I can alway lose weight, but a ***** is a *****.
  • kdeaux1959
    kdeaux1959 Posts: 2,675 Member
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    I don't see where this site is predominantly a women's site. There are a lot of men on here as well. We all want the best in our prospective significant others. This is human nature -- men and women alike.
  • AlyssaWannabe
    AlyssaWannabe Posts: 13 Member
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    I don't see how to NOT be offended by your post.

    You are being a bully.

    And honestly, I don't think it's any of your business who I want to date or why.

    Collective judgements are always wrong.
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
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    I don't see where this site is predominantly a women's site. There are a lot of men on here as well. We all want the best in our prospective significant others. This is human nature -- men and women alike.

    EXACTLY. Who doesn't want an eye candy, tell me? Since I lost the weight & became fit & toned, I'm getting more attention from men, fit or not.
  • Aleara2012
    Aleara2012 Posts: 225 Member
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    Women are the gatekeepers. Nature states that only the fittest men get to procreate. This is true in our society as well. Women tend to have a very strict guideline on their own appearance and that carries over with what they consider acceptable for a mate moreso than men do. One only needs to take a walk at a public place to verify that.

    For the most part when you see two people together, their body types tend to be similar if not identical. Fit men with fit women. Normal men with normal women. Fat men with fat women.

    Sometimes you'll notice a fit person with a fat other. Nine times out of ten its a fit man with a fat woman. This could be because she had his babies and that happens when you have babies. However, it is very odd to see a fit woman with a fat man. In fact in my entire life i've seen it all of three times and all three times it turned a lot of heads.

    However regardless... these instances are rare as again you typically see fit people together. Its rare period to see a fit person with someone who is not fit out in public, at least in my own experience


    I think if this is your experience, you should probably travel and see more.... I have seen plenty of un-fit men with fit women. Just sayin'

    On the other hand I do agree that often when talking about middle aged and older couples, the differences in fittness have increased over time. A couple who has started as an equal fitness match could end up rather unequal. Life happens. And very often it happens differently for the woman and the man.
  • osualex
    osualex Posts: 409 Member
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    It's rare that I've seen this...I've attracted some very fit guys, at my current weight (159) and my highest weight (200+) but they were always the ones that initiated with me, and like I said, it's rare...most overweight girls that I know don't experience this. I think maybe I'm lucky because my weight is distributed in a way that can be considered curvy - small waist, big boobs, and big hips. Anyway, I know I would get more fit guys if I was smaller. Most people are more attracted to someone at a healthy weight.

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