Ever asked the husband/wife/SO this question?

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  • SexyCook
    SexyCook Posts: 2,253 Member
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    I asked my SO....what do he think...he likes me better smaller now then thick and solid is what he calls it..... Also he would like for my arms to be back defined like they were over 7yrs ago when I knew nothing about the eating just killed protein shakes...lol... Of course he loves the New Booty he calls it...and all of a sudden he claim he been a booty man instead of a Tits guy...UHH HUH...

    Presently he just like it all....
  • TinaLTaylor79
    TinaLTaylor79 Posts: 140 Member
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    I did not have to ask...actions show! But, it was not all his fault. WHen i was at my biggest 215lbs...my husband showed very little interest in me when it came to the bedroom...but, i also did not make it easy. I was very depressed and angry and not a very fun person to be around...When we were together it was me always saying..oh dont touch me there, or dont look there, or the room needed to be dark! I was so embarrassed about my body.
    I have lost over 80lbs...Im back to what i was when i first met my husband, even better shape now...and i have self confidence, i feel proud of myself...im not afraid to show my husband my body and it has brought us closer together.
  • LuckyAng
    LuckyAng Posts: 1,173 Member
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    I've never had to wonder. At my smallest (120) and my heaviest (209), he has never been able to keep his hands off of me. I do know he does look forward to the day when I feel confident again though. It's hard for him to see me so bummed out every time I have to get dressed. He's amazing, and I am very lucky to have him :heart:
  • PlunderBunneh
    PlunderBunneh Posts: 1,705 Member
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    He has always been very hands on, from when we met (I was 200) to after kids (260) to now (180). We have a more sexually active life now, but that's because of me. I've got the confidence, and actually feel worthy of the lusty glances and the bum pinches. And he loves that I am more comfortable wearing less clothing, although he has mentioned many times that he would have loved it at any size, he just likes me showing some skin.
    He likes that I'm more active, but mostly just because now I enjoy playing Dance Dance Revolution with him.
  • gudiiya
    gudiiya Posts: 116 Member
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    Super like this one! :)
  • dolldreams
    dolldreams Posts: 245 Member
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    my husband and I have an understanding that if either one of us was to get fat we would be free to divorce or find someone else because it would show that we didn't respect or love the other enough to respect and love ourselves

    props to you two...just means you guys are going to do what it takes to keep the relationship healthy and filled with fire...

    I don't know about this. I didn't get fat because I don't respect or love my husband enough.

    God forbid something happen that you have little control over to damage you physically. What are you going to do then?

    Yikes, no offense but to me marriage is a lifetime commitment not something you give up on because of getting "fat"....Glad my honey loves me for me and not my body.

    I'm totally with you. For better or worse seems like a lost art.
  • Rosa1213
    Rosa1213 Posts: 456 Member
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    My boyfriend always makes it known how attracted he is to me, even though not too long ago I was as heavy as 192 lbs.
    He said to me on the phone the other day: "if you're happy, then I'm happy". He's the sweetest :)
  • m60kaf
    m60kaf Posts: 421 Member
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    I did and his response was;

    'It's easier to love you now because I can tell you love yourself more and that makes me happy'

    I absolutely identify with this as well. Confidence is sexy no matter what your size. :smile:

    This is very true - It's easy to say its frivolous to be so concerned by weight/looks, but, there is also the attitude differences.

    I wouldn't want to be with someone fat, but, this is just as much an inability for me to relate anymore to the attitude that got them that way.

    People say to me how 'amazing' it is I have kept it off. I just think the attitude I have now it would be impossible for me to put on 150lb.... 15 would have me stressing out
  • Laurieann137
    Laurieann137 Posts: 95 Member
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    I believe actions speak louder than words. My husband can say he loves me but he didn't desire me for many years! When we met I was a size 3 and he couldn't keep his hands off of me! Then I went all the way up to a 16 after our third child. Now I'm down to a size 10 but still have a ways to go. He actually thought he had an erectile disfunction when in reality it was me being over weight (which he admitted later)! He actually said once that if I lost weight AND cleaned the house more he would find me more attractive!! Yes he is still alive and yes we are still married but he almost didn't make it through that one! As i have lost weight he has been more attracted to me and wants to be intimate more. He says that doesn't have anything to do with my weight! Whatever!! He wouldn't touch me for a LONG time and was ALWAYS tired!! I like that he wants to be more touchy and intimate now, but it's also insulting because i feel like he didn't love me when I was heavier. It was more like we were roommates than husband and wife. I'm glad things are better for us, but it still hurt. For him his ACTIONS spoke (still speak) a lot louder than his words!!. I'm jealous of those of you who have great men that love you no matter what your size! Be grateful!!
  • AlyiEli2017
    AlyiEli2017 Posts: 81 Member
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    I have asked my ex boyfriends about my weight and they would be honest and tell me. They would never encourage me to lose or encourage me to push myself to get fit. They would however make sly *kitten* comments that would get them the EXIT! :wink: That is why dismissing them wasnt hard either.:laugh: My boyfriend NOW has always extended support and encouragement to me when I needed it the most. I am not a small girl, not by a long shot but I also BEFORE lack the confidence that I need to push myself to lose the unwanted pouds. I started MFP about a few weeks ago and my boyfriend has been soooooo supportive:heart: . He always ask; what did you eat, did you work out? He reminds me dont eat this, and dont eat that, even when we go out to eat he tries to pick places that we can have veggies and something semi healthy. I never had this kind of relationship and to me its the best kind. he supports me ALOT. On this journey I have lost a few pounds and I asked him at the start what did you think of me? He said he dont care if I was Bigger or Smaller he loves me and what ever my goal is he will help me reach it. Do I believe he is telling the truth? Yes, he never gave me reason to think other wise. I am happy an proud to have him because with him I am gaining the confidence needed to lose the weight and feel good about myself. No matter if I lose 1lbs a week or 4lbs a week he is still my Biggest fan and my coach.
  • dolldreams
    dolldreams Posts: 245 Member
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    Well, I wouldn't be attracted to him if he got too overweight, and not because I loved him less, but because in order for him to get that way, he would have to have a total lifestyle change for the worse. THAT would not be attractive, because he would not be taking care of himself that way, and I know he would feel the same way about me.

    So we don't have to ask that question, because we both have very specific lifestyle goals that keep us the way we are, and changing those goals would be the big issue, not the resulting body changes.


    ^^^This!! the basis of the understanding we have

    I hope you never sustain a horrific injury such as having your face disfigured in a fire. Being as your husband is in the AIRFORCE, would you still love him if he was horribly injured?

    Marriage is not about SEXUAL attraction.
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
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    Well, I wouldn't be attracted to him if he got too overweight, and not because I loved him less, but because in order for him to get that way, he would have to have a total lifestyle change for the worse. THAT would not be attractive, because he would not be taking care of himself that way, and I know he would feel the same way about me.

    So we don't have to ask that question, because we both have very specific lifestyle goals that keep us the way we are, and changing those goals would be the big issue, not the resulting body changes.


    ^^^This!! the basis of the understanding we have
    I agree, and feel the same way. The OP's question wasn't about LOVE, it was about attraction. We can still love someone when they don't physically appeal to us, but physical attraction is important in a relationship.

    I think most people would lie in response to the OP's question, or fall back to the "I'd still love you no matter how you look", but the truth is...we dont' always find that person attractive anymore when something about their appearance changes drastically.
  • tlynnclemmons
    tlynnclemmons Posts: 79 Member
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    My hubby tells me that he doesn't care how much I weigh but he does care that I don't like myself and the way I look. he's more worried that my self-esteem issues will work their way onto our 12 year old daughter. I was overweight when we met but now i'm even bigger - his weight has gone up and down and up again in the 17 years we have been together but since he's tall it's not as noticeable - i'm only 5'5" so it shows a lot more on me. He gets mad at me for always saying i'm going to exercise more and eat better and then I don't - I'm a procrastinator and he doesn't like that at all. My ex husband told me he was divorcing me because I got fat. within the last few years I was diagnosed with Axial Spondyloarthritis so i'm in pain a lot of the time and then last December I developed 4 blood clots in my lungs that almost killed me. It made me realize that i'm wasting life on the couch & that he deserves better than that. Fortunately the clots had nothing to do with my weight & they are almost completely gone so i'm looking forward to the day when the doctors completely release me and I can get back to kickboxing to burn off some weight!
  • mommy1126
    mommy1126 Posts: 146 Member
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    My husband has loved me from my smallest point to my biggest point. He has never let a day pass that he has not told me that I was beautiful. One of the ways I knew it was time to change, was when I could no longer accept the compliment without saying, "I am glad you think so." But, I am slowly working my way out of that stage. Since I committed to losing I feel better about myself, and even if my stubborn ticker does not show it, I have actually lost 6 lbs so far!
  • wells0707
    wells0707 Posts: 251 Member
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    I have never asked because my husband has NEVER made me feel anything short of being the most beautiful person in any room. I hope I do the same for him.
  • AlyiEli2017
    AlyiEli2017 Posts: 81 Member
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    My boyfriend always makes it known how attracted he is to me, even though not too long ago I was as heavy as 192 lbs.
    He said to me on the phone the other day: "if you're happy, then I'm happy". He's the sweetest :)



    I love these words. My boyfriend say it on a daily!!!
  • Dlopez678
    Dlopez678 Posts: 97
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    I'm so very thankful for my husband and after reading some of these comments it makes me do much more thankful to have such a wonderful man in my life. My husband has always loved me just the way I am. I have known him since I was 11 years old. Never knew he had a crush on me until I was 23. He has seen me as a skinny teenager, overweight after having a child and had gone through a horrible relationship. When my husband and I started dating I was 170lbs.. I'm 5'7.. We had a son before we got married.. We both put on weight during this time. We were both overweight for our wedding.. More like obese most likely. Right after that I got pregnant with our daughter. I was huge with her. We tried several times to lose the weight and failed. Last summer my husband and I both lost 30lbs before our trip to Vegas with our friends. came home and fell off track as we got busy into house hunting, moving, and then the holidays. 3/16/12 we got the biggest scare of our lives as my husband had to be driven to the ER by his co-worker due to chest pains. This was it no more up and down on the weight roller coaster. We had to get healthy.. For ourselves, each other and our family. Through all this I'm so proud to say my husband and I have been so in love the entire time. I've never had to ask whether or not he thought I was sexy. The way he looks at me, comments he makes, playfully grabbing at my butt and boobs when he walks by, our sex life etc... Shows me what he thinks of me. When I'm upset about my weight.. He always let's me know he loves me the way I am but if it upsets me then do something about it. I've always found my husband extremely sexy no matter his weight. I fell in love with more than his physical appearance. He has an amazing sense of humor, he is very sweet and thoughtful and always makes me feel amazing. I feel sorry for those that get married based on physical appearance and who would divorce because of it. It shows how shallow you are and that you have no idea what true love is.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    I didnt ask. He just straight told me. Said the sight of me naked (New Year's Day) made his **** soft.
  • lizaboots
    lizaboots Posts: 43
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    You know, sometimes the truth hurts but sometimes that's what we need to wake us up. My HB has always been affectionate, but once I started losing weight, he really couldn't keep his hands off of me! He did tell me he is definitely more attracted to me now than before, which he should be! We have to remember that women are emotional, and men are visual. He also told me when I was heavier that he wanted me to lose weight- at first I was upset but then I told myself that I would much rather he be honest with me than to say nothing, have it lead to intimacy issues and then it all snowballs and crumbles into a divorce.

    Number one thing is that you have to lose weight FOR YOU because YOU DESERVE IT. And also remember that confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have- it's MUCH sexier than any body part.
  • felice03
    felice03 Posts: 2,732 Member
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    Nah...i left him once I got thinner, so it was pretty irrelavent by that point....:drinker:

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