ignorance about obesity on MFP
Replies
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This is going to sound rude, I don't mean for it to, but that will kind of illustrate my point.
The best thing anyone can do is stop believing that every person on this website is supportive and kind and "sharing your journey."
They aren't. Some people are here to lose, some to maintain, some to gain, and some to pretend to be a 19 year old woman looking for sex when they're really a 48 year old iron worker. New people sign up by the hundreds everyday. There are going to be jerks. There are going to be rude people. No matter what thread gets posted nothing is going to make rudeness on the internet vanish because nothing can make rudeness in life vanish.
Best to have a supportive group of friends that helps you on your way and not expect every stranger on the forums treat you the way you expect to be treated. Best of luck to you.
The best advice EVER!0 -
my tan is airbrushed.0
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What this thread is is a great example of confirmation bias. The overweight crowd sees nothing but fat bashing everywhere. The slim crowd sees skinny bashing everywhere.
Both groups overlook it when it happens to the other. "Big girls" have no problem saying "Real women have curves." Skinny folk feel justified thinking overweight people are lazy and eat too much.
When both groups learn that it does no good to tear the other down it will stop. But that sure ain't gonna happen! So strap on a helmet and just work on you.
THIS!! ^^^0 -
my tan is airbrushed.
Oh, hell. Stand back. The bashing will commence shortly...0 -
I am sorry if people have bashed you because of being skinny. All i wanted to get across is this, I like reading some of the forums, I get a laugh, things to think about and others opinions. i take NOTHING personal. Although some of my weight is medical, ALOT of it is and was me. All i am saying is on a fitness based website there should be no bashing on weight. Im not hurt by it or affected but i know people that are good people and do take it personally and get really hurt. Thats all
I talk about obese bashing becasue it was rampid this week and yes it strikes a nerve. I have never bashed skinny people as I used to be extremely skinny and accused of the same thing. I think a general stomp on negativity is the point.I have never seen a fat bashing thread. If they exist, they are culled quite quickly. Skinny bashing, on the other hand....every where. Including people being accused of have eating disorders or using steroids.
Skinny bashing is much worse, hell my freaking SUCCESS STORY got hijacked the other day by crazy *kitten* people, calling me rude and terrible things. If anything, there should be an anti skinny bashing thread.
Exactly, but that anti skinny bashing thread turned into another ED argument.
Oh right, I forgot that. Y'know because all skinny people have an ED. :P0 -
It did used to be really nice, but as it has got bigger and more popular its become full of trolls and miserys. Good for you! let's keep it friendly people. Some people have hijacked the fact we do this thing via a forum to have an excuse to people bash under the guise that forums are "Public forum's" there are loads of forums on the internet you can be an A-Hole on, why pick here?!
So true. Don't feed the trolls... lol!0 -
I am sorry if people have bashed you because of being skinny. All i wanted to get across is this, I like reading some of the forums, I get a laugh, things to think about and others opinions. i take NOTHING personal. Although some of my weight is medical, ALOT of it is and was me. All i am saying is on a fitness based website there should be no bashing on weight. Im not hurt by it or affected but i know people that are good people and do take it personally and get really hurt. Thats all
I talk about obese bashing becasue it was rampid this week and yes it strikes a nerve. I have never bashed skinny people as I used to be extremely skinny and accused of the same thing. I think a general stomp on negativity is the point.I have never seen a fat bashing thread. If they exist, they are culled quite quickly. Skinny bashing, on the other hand....every where. Including people being accused of have eating disorders or using steroids.
Skinny bashing is much worse, hell my freaking SUCCESS STORY got hijacked the other day by crazy *kitten* people, calling me rude and terrible things. If anything, there should be an anti skinny bashing thread.
Exactly, but that anti skinny bashing thread turned into another ED argument.
Oh right, I forgot that. Y'know because all skinny people have an ED. :P
No, no, I totally get your point. Just throwing another perspective in here.0 -
I agree with the OP. And; I will state what I have stated here before. This is my personal belief, based on my personal experiences. I have been my perfect weight and in good shape most of my life (64yo), except for the past 12 years or so since my back injury, qualifying as obese for the past 5 years or so. And yes, I know I got this way from eating more calories than I was burning. A sudden change in life as you know it has a profound effect on emotional outlook and what you feel you can control, but mostly about things for which you feel you have lost control.
Anyway:
I believe the general public, who are not obese, views obese (not just overweight, but obese) people as disgusting. It was hard for me to swallow, but as time went by, I noticed it more and more. Now, it's not uncommon to overhear comments like "oink", "fat pig", or "fatso" as I pass by. Combine that with being disabled and people blatantly step in front of you in line, ignore you when waiting for services or step in front of you and block your path, then just stand there when in the grocery store. Once in a blue moon someone will offer to reach something on a high shelf or offer you to go ahead of them. I don't expect special treatment, but I also don't expect to be treated like a major inconvenience.
I see it all the time, thinner people posting about obese people starting out with "it's not my intention to offend anyone" or "I realize some obese people can't help it" or "I'm just trying to help".. or some other inane preface to an insulting posting about who they see at McDonald's or what they see someone else eating. And, yes, I have seen obese people make derogatory statements about thin people too. Usually, it's out of frustration with how they have been treated and is a defense mechanism like; diss them before they can diss you. Neither one is acceptable. So, as the OP said, "if you can't say something nice", keep your mouth shut and MYOB!! And... don't impose your "help" unless help is asked for.0 -
I've only been a member for a week or 2 - and I've only seen one negative/obese post from an outspoken young woman (who openly admitted being opinionated.) Yes, she was rude and I saw a lot of folks shut her down. Seems like the MAJORITY of the people on this site are AWESOME!! I couldn't help but smile at the "walk in my fat shoes" comment. Hopefully with some support and patience, I'll get me some SKINNY SHOES!
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I've only been a member for a week or 2 - and I've only seen one negative/obese post from an outspoken young woman (who openly admitted being opinionated.) Yes, she was rude and I saw a lot of folks shut her down. Seems like the MAJORITY of the people on this site are AWESOME!! I couldn't help but smile at the "walk in my fat shoes" comment. Hopefully with some support and patience, I'll get me some SKINNY SHOES!
You've already started! Good luck hun!0 -
I talk about obese bashing becasue it was rampid this week and yes it strikes a nerve. I have never bashed skinny people as I used to be extremely skinny and accused of the same thing. I think a general stomp on negativity is the point.I have never seen a fat bashing thread. If they exist, they are culled quite quickly. Skinny bashing, on the other hand....every where. Including people being accused of have eating disorders or using steroids.
Skinny bashing is much worse, hell my freaking SUCCESS STORY got hijacked the other day by crazy *kitten* people, calling me rude and terrible things. If anything, there should be an anti skinny bashing thread.
Hell you looked great in your before pics your after pics are amazing.0 -
YAY welcome and good luck! Everyone has an opinion and I am ok with that. My problem is bashing whether it be about skinny people or obese people, on a fitness based site, defeats the purpose of its intention. There are eating disorders, both fat and skinny , that people are dealing with. Theres just no room for being mean. and I cant wait to get some skinny shoes....at this point I'd settle for less fat shoes lol. Thanks and the best of luckI've only been a member for a week or 2 - and I've only seen one negative/obese post from an outspoken young woman (who openly admitted being opinionated.) Yes, she was rude and I saw a lot of folks shut her down. Seems like the MAJORITY of the people on this site are AWESOME!! I couldn't help but smile at the "walk in my fat shoes" comment. Hopefully with some support and patience, I'll get me some SKINNY SHOES! 0 -
What this thread is is a great example of confirmation bias. The overweight crowd sees nothing but fat bashing everywhere. The slim crowd sees skinny bashing everywhere.
Both groups overlook it when it happens to the other. "Big girls" have no problem saying "Real women have curves." Skinny folk feel justified thinking overweight people are lazy and eat too much.
When both groups learn that it does no good to tear the other down it will stop. But that sure ain't gonna happen! So strap on a helmet and just work on you.
Truth0 -
I appreciate ALL opinions. and i totally agree on the skinny bashing post lol.
I am sorry if people have bashed you because of being skinny. All i wanted to get across is this, I like reading some of the forums, I get a laugh, things to think about and others opinions. i take NOTHING personal. Although some of my weight is medical, ALOT of it is and was me. All i am saying is on a fitness based website there should be no bashing on weight. Im not hurt by it or affected but i know people that are good people and do take it personally and get really hurt. Thats all
I talk about obese bashing becasue it was rampid this week and yes it strikes a nerve. I have never bashed skinny people as I used to be extremely skinny and accused of the same thing. I think a general stomp on negativity is the point.I have never seen a fat bashing thread. If they exist, they are culled quite quickly. Skinny bashing, on the other hand....every where. Including people being accused of have eating disorders or using steroids.
Skinny bashing is much worse, hell my freaking SUCCESS STORY got hijacked the other day by crazy *kitten* people, calling me rude and terrible things. If anything, there should be an anti skinny bashing thread.
Exactly, but that anti skinny bashing thread turned into another ED argument.
Oh right, I forgot that. Y'know because all skinny people have an ED. :P
No, no, I totally get your point. Just throwing another perspective in here.0 -
Not to burst any bubbles, but most people are fat from being lazy and irresponsible (excluding children). I think the reason people can be mean to overweight people is also out of frustration. Lets be real here, most fat people dont have some kind of disorder or issue making them fat. Its simply bad diet and bad habits. Strangely enough, people have 1000 reasons why they got fat and usually none blaming theirself. Then the same fat people who complain about how hard it is to be fat will bash all the thin people for wanting to lose some vanity pounds. I have yet to see any negative fat comments personally. I see mostly skinny bashing and calling muscular girls men all day.
THIS^^
For your info I gained about 70+ lbs from being hospitalized due to pneumonia and was put on steroids (3 times in one year). This put me to an super obese state. Yeah I was overweight before due to being judged, low self esteem, a marriage where I was abused in every way, and I could go on...and on....and on....but what do you care. And honestly it is people like who upset me the most.
I did say most dont have a medical condition. Either way, good on you for doing something about it.0 -
People will have their opinion about everything. It's sad but true that there are plenty bashing on both ends but you can't choose who writes on the forums. I suggest focusing on your goals/journey, using MFP as a resource, the success story forums and other positive topics/blogs that are more useful and inspiring (there are plenty!). Great success on your journey.0
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Not to burst any bubbles, but most people are fat from being lazy and irresponsible (excluding children). I think the reason people can be mean to overweight people is also out of frustration. Lets be real here, most fat people dont have some kind of disorder or issue making them fat. Its simply bad diet and bad habits. Strangely enough, people have 1000 reasons why they got fat and usually none blaming theirself. Then the same fat people who complain about how hard it is to be fat will bash all the thin people for wanting to lose some vanity pounds. I have yet to see any negative fat comments personally. I see mostly skinny bashing and calling muscular girls men all day.
Huh? :noway:0 -
:glasses:0
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Ignorance?
People get obese bc of themselves, that's all. Anything is fixable. Including being overweight.
Please elaborate...
I gained a ton of weight because I have a medical condition called PCOS. Unfortunately for me, it makes it much harder for me to lose the weight. I also gained weight when I was pregnant. I fail to see how a medical condition is "because of me". I'm not saying that I can't lose the weight or don't want to or that I have to have the fat sucked out or anything like that. I'm just saying that it's more difficult and that I'm more prone to gaining because of the condition.
PCOS didn't MAKE you gain weight. Calories did. I have PCOS as well. YES it is difficult to lose weight but in the end, our former lifestyles and eating habits made us fat. PERIOD. I cut back carbs, started exercising more and lost my first 25 lbs pretty quickly, then some more. It is possible.
No offense but I often feel people use medical conditions as a crutch or excuse. Too many CALORIES make you gain weight, nothing else.0 -
Over the last week there have been several posts about how disgusting, lazy, undetermined, undedicated and basically good for nothing obese people are. First let me say that not all of us have gotten this way due to eating unhealthy. Second of all you are posting on MFP and all of us reading your posts about how horrible we are, are on MFP because we have decided to make a difference in our health and weight. So I ask you, if you are so upset and disgusted by obese people not taking care of themselves, why don’t you post it on your facebook where your friends can see how worried you are about their obesity. MFP is a place of encouragement and support, whether its toning and maintain, losing 5 pounds or 100 pounds. Don’t you think self esteem issues had a lot to do with some of us getting this unhealthy? I am 108 pounds overweight and have been on track since the middle of January, down 16 pounds and over 5 inches and get enough dirty looks and am hard enough on myself without coming into the forums reading how YOU feel about ME or any other people struggling with weight when you havent walked a DAY in MY FAT SHOES!!!
Go by the old saying…if you have nothing nice to say….don’t say anything at all
Sounds like your doing a great job. Don't let it discourage you, anytime you have a lot of people in an area there are always people that nitpick and find fault we just need to uplift each other.0 -
Over the last week there have been several posts about how disgusting, lazy, undetermined, undedicated and basically good for nothing obese people are. First let me say that not all of us have gotten this way due to eating unhealthy. Second of all you are posting on MFP and all of us reading your posts about how horrible we are, are on MFP because we have decided to make a difference in our health and weight. So I ask you, if you are so upset and disgusted by obese people not taking care of themselves, why don’t you post it on your facebook where your friends can see how worried you are about their obesity. MFP is a place of encouragement and support, whether its toning and maintain, losing 5 pounds or 100 pounds. Don’t you think self esteem issues had a lot to do with some of us getting this unhealthy? I am 108 pounds overweight and have been on track since the middle of January, down 16 pounds and over 5 inches and get enough dirty looks and am hard enough on myself without coming into the forums reading how YOU feel about ME or any other people struggling with weight when you havent walked a DAY in MY FAT SHOES!!!
Go by the old saying…if you have nothing nice to say….don’t say anything at all
Nice call out! It's just noise anyway. Keep going!0 -
What this thread is is a great example of confirmation bias. The overweight crowd sees nothing but fat bashing everywhere. The slim crowd sees skinny bashing everywhere.
Both groups overlook it when it happens to the other. "Big girls" have no problem saying "Real women have curves." Skinny folk feel justified thinking overweight people are lazy and eat too much.
When both groups learn that it does no good to tear the other down it will stop. But that sure ain't gonna happen! So strap on a helmet and just work on you.
Wow...I am impressed. Your posts are very mature. Nice to see. :happy:
(and no, no sarcasm. it really is a nice thing to see)0 -
Over the last week there have been several posts about how disgusting, lazy, undetermined, undedicated and basically good for nothing obese people are. First let me say that not all of us have gotten this way due to eating unhealthy. Second of all you are posting on MFP and all of us reading your posts about how horrible we are, are on MFP because we have decided to make a difference in our health and weight. So I ask you, if you are so upset and disgusted by obese people not taking care of themselves, why don’t you post it on your facebook where your friends can see how worried you are about their obesity. MFP is a place of encouragement and support, whether its toning and maintain, losing 5 pounds or 100 pounds. Don’t you think self esteem issues had a lot to do with some of us getting this unhealthy? I am 108 pounds overweight and have been on track since the middle of January, down 16 pounds and over 5 inches and get enough dirty looks and am hard enough on myself without coming into the forums reading how YOU feel about ME or any other people struggling with weight when you havent walked a DAY in MY FAT SHOES!!!
Go by the old saying…if you have nothing nice to say….don’t say anything at all
I agree with you 100%, my daughter is obese (and no it's not because she is lazy and don't eat healthy) she's 9 yrs old, her Dr said it sometimes has to do with genetics, she's just a big girl! .... And as a mother seeing her trying so hard to be healthy by not eating junk food and being active gives me PRIDE and I will NEVER GIVE UP on her!! When people talk bad about over-weight people, obese people I want to punch them because they are being jugdemental.... Not everyone eats badly and is lazy. My daughter is very active, we both are!!
So I thank you for posting this! :flowerforyou:0 -
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the point is THIS IS A FITNESS WEBSITE!!!! Everyone here is wanting a CHANGE in themselves, regardless of what brought us here, we are here and don't need to be put down for WHATEVER reason
Ignorance?
People get obese bc of themselves, that's all. Anything is fixable. Including being overweight.
Please elaborate...
I gained a ton of weight because I have a medical condition called PCOS. Unfortunately for me, it makes it much harder for me to lose the weight. I also gained weight when I was pregnant. I fail to see how a medical condition is "because of me". I'm not saying that I can't lose the weight or don't want to or that I have to have the fat sucked out or anything like that. I'm just saying that it's more difficult and that I'm more prone to gaining because of the condition.
PCOS didn't MAKE you gain weight. Calories did. I have PCOS as well. YES it is difficult to lose weight but in the end, our former lifestyles and eating habits made us fat. PERIOD. I cut back carbs, started exercising more and lost my first 25 lbs pretty quickly, then some more. It is possible.
No offense but I often feel people use medical conditions as a crutch or excuse. Too many CALORIES make you gain weight, nothing else.0 -
There are a lot of pretentious, self-important jerks on these forums (as there are in real life) who get their amusement out of running people down because they're too fat, too skinny, too muscular, not muscular enough, have too many tattoos, do the wrong kinds of exercise, set the wrong goals, weigh themselves too often, don't weigh themselves often enough, or because they choose to eat meat, eat carbs, drink alcohol, drink coffee... whatever.
On the other hand, there are many more good, supportive people with positive attitudes who go out of their way to be encouraging or to offer constructive suggestions to those who ask for it.
I pretty much ignore the trolls - they're basically doing it because they're attention *kitten*, and I refuse to give them the satisfaction of knowing they got me riled up by engaging in flame wars with them. Having said that, I know these people are hard to ignore sometimes when they're engaging in personal attacks on you or your choices.
Overall, I find using MFP to be an overwhelmingly positive experience. I'm here mainly for the tools, but I do enjoy participating in the message boards. And I won't let the rude comments from the haters out there get me down, or diminish my resolve to achieve my goals.0 -
the point is THIS IS A FITNESS WEBSITE!!!! Everyone here is wanting a CHANGE in themselves, regardless of what brought us here, we are here and don't need to be put down for WHATEVER reason
Ignorance?
People get obese bc of themselves, that's all. Anything is fixable. Including being overweight.
Please elaborate...
I gained a ton of weight because I have a medical condition called PCOS. Unfortunately for me, it makes it much harder for me to lose the weight. I also gained weight when I was pregnant. I fail to see how a medical condition is "because of me". I'm not saying that I can't lose the weight or don't want to or that I have to have the fat sucked out or anything like that. I'm just saying that it's more difficult and that I'm more prone to gaining because of the condition.
PCOS didn't MAKE you gain weight. Calories did. I have PCOS as well. YES it is difficult to lose weight but in the end, our former lifestyles and eating habits made us fat. PERIOD. I cut back carbs, started exercising more and lost my first 25 lbs pretty quickly, then some more. It is possible.
No offense but I often feel people use medical conditions as a crutch or excuse. Too many CALORIES make you gain weight, nothing else.
I absolutely agree with you. And I've been on here almost two years and I cannot tell you how many people I have seen use excuse after excuse to justify their weight, even thought they want a change, and then fail.
The first step to recovery is admitting. :happy:0 -
Hi ...my name is babygirl and I am over weight
the point is THIS IS A FITNESS WEBSITE!!!! Everyone here is wanting a CHANGE in themselves, regardless of what brought us here, we are here and don't need to be put down for WHATEVER reason
Ignorance?
People get obese bc of themselves, that's all. Anything is fixable. Including being overweight.
Please elaborate...
I gained a ton of weight because I have a medical condition called PCOS. Unfortunately for me, it makes it much harder for me to lose the weight. I also gained weight when I was pregnant. I fail to see how a medical condition is "because of me". I'm not saying that I can't lose the weight or don't want to or that I have to have the fat sucked out or anything like that. I'm just saying that it's more difficult and that I'm more prone to gaining because of the condition.
PCOS didn't MAKE you gain weight. Calories did. I have PCOS as well. YES it is difficult to lose weight but in the end, our former lifestyles and eating habits made us fat. PERIOD. I cut back carbs, started exercising more and lost my first 25 lbs pretty quickly, then some more. It is possible.
No offense but I often feel people use medical conditions as a crutch or excuse. Too many CALORIES make you gain weight, nothing else.
I absolutely agree with you. And I've been on here almost two years and I cannot tell you how many people I have seen use excuse after excuse to justify their weight, even thought they want a change, and then fail.
The first step to recovery is admitting. :happy: *welcome babygirl* lol 0 -
Ignorance?
People get obese bc of themselves, that's all. Anything is fixable. Including being overweight.
Please elaborate...
I gained a ton of weight because I have a medical condition called PCOS. Unfortunately for me, it makes it much harder for me to lose the weight. I also gained weight when I was pregnant. I fail to see how a medical condition is "because of me". I'm not saying that I can't lose the weight or don't want to or that I have to have the fat sucked out or anything like that. I'm just saying that it's more difficult and that I'm more prone to gaining because of the condition.
PCOS didn't MAKE you gain weight. Calories did. I have PCOS as well. YES it is difficult to lose weight but in the end, our former lifestyles and eating habits made us fat. PERIOD. I cut back carbs, started exercising more and lost my first 25 lbs pretty quickly, then some more. It is possible.
No offense but I often feel people use medical conditions as a crutch or excuse. Too many CALORIES make you gain weight, nothing else.
I agree. I have had a child and I have PCOS. I gained weight when I was pregnant and didn't do anything about it. The PCOS has just been a hurdle to jump over in my weight loss, but truth be told it was eating crap and not exercising enough that kept me overweight, and when I was pregnant if I'd exercised and ate right instead of giving into every little craving, I wouldn't have gained 75 lbs. Yes, pregnancy and PCOS are contributing factors, but I got fat because of me, not because of those conditions.
In addition to PCOS, I HAD hypothryoidism (another big condition that gets blamed for weight gain). I have brought my thyroid levels to normal with diet and exercise alone and ZERO medication. When you have issues such as these that I've mentioned, it does make it more of a challenge, but ultimately my choices are to blame for the reason I got fat, and now my choices are the reason I'm losing weight
ETA: I hope nobody takes what I'm saying as "I think obese people are lazy" or whatever. I don't. I think it is VERY easy to get a diagnosis and say "well, I guess I'm just going to be fat because I have this." I know, I've been there. Going from 120 lbs pre-pregnancy to 195 lbs at 9 mos pregnant, then being diagnosed with PCOS a couple years later, I KNOW how it feels. We are ALL here for the same reason: to get healthy (with the exception of those on here promoting EDs). I think we should ALL hold ourselves accountable for the conditions we're in, regardless of whatever physical condition or emotional condition we've been in or are currently in, and support each other's goals 100% (as long as those goals are healthy).0 -
Ignorance?
People get obese bc of themselves, that's all. Anything is fixable. Including being overweight.
Please elaborate...
I gained a ton of weight because I have a medical condition called PCOS. Unfortunately for me, it makes it much harder for me to lose the weight. I also gained weight when I was pregnant. I fail to see how a medical condition is "because of me". I'm not saying that I can't lose the weight or don't want to or that I have to have the fat sucked out or anything like that. I'm just saying that it's more difficult and that I'm more prone to gaining because of the condition.
PCOS didn't MAKE you gain weight. Calories did. I have PCOS as well. YES it is difficult to lose weight but in the end, our former lifestyles and eating habits made us fat. PERIOD. I cut back carbs, started exercising more and lost my first 25 lbs pretty quickly, then some more. It is possible.
No offense but I often feel people use medical conditions as a crutch or excuse. Too many CALORIES make you gain weight, nothing else.
I agree. I have had a child and I have PCOS. I gained weight when I was pregnant and didn't do anything about it. The PCOS has just been a hurdle to jump over in my weight loss, but truth be told it was eating crap and not exercising enough that kept me overweight, and when I was pregnant if I'd exercised and ate right instead of giving into every little craving, I wouldn't have gained 75 lbs. Yes, pregnancy and PCOS are contributing factors, but I got fat because of me, not because of those conditions.
In addition to PCOS, I HAD hypothryoidism (another big condition that gets blamed for weight gain). I have brought my thyroid levels to normal with diet and exercise alone and ZERO medication. When you have issues such as these that I've mentioned, it does make it more of a challenge, but ultimately my choices are to blame for the reason I got fat, and now my choices are the reason I'm losing weight
:drinker: :drinker: :drinker: Like this on so many levels! You read my mind!!!0
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