ignorance about obesity on MFP
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This is going to sound rude, I don't mean for it to, but that will kind of illustrate my point.
The best thing anyone can do is stop believing that every person on this website is supportive and kind and "sharing your journey."
They aren't. Some people are here to lose, some to maintain, some to gain, and some to pretend to be a 19 year old woman looking for sex when they're really a 48 year old iron worker. New people sign up by the hundreds everyday. There are going to be jerks. There are going to be rude people. No matter what thread gets posted nothing is going to make rudeness on the internet vanish because nothing can make rudeness in life vanish.
Best to have a supportive group of friends that helps you on your way and not expect every stranger on the forums treat you the way you expect to be treated. Best of luck to you.
The best advice EVER!0 -
my tan is airbrushed.0
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What this thread is is a great example of confirmation bias. The overweight crowd sees nothing but fat bashing everywhere. The slim crowd sees skinny bashing everywhere.
Both groups overlook it when it happens to the other. "Big girls" have no problem saying "Real women have curves." Skinny folk feel justified thinking overweight people are lazy and eat too much.
When both groups learn that it does no good to tear the other down it will stop. But that sure ain't gonna happen! So strap on a helmet and just work on you.
THIS!! ^^^0 -
my tan is airbrushed.
Oh, hell. Stand back. The bashing will commence shortly...0 -
I have never seen a fat bashing thread. If they exist, they are culled quite quickly. Skinny bashing, on the other hand....every where. Including people being accused of have eating disorders or using steroids.
Skinny bashing is much worse, hell my freaking SUCCESS STORY got hijacked the other day by crazy *kitten* people, calling me rude and terrible things. If anything, there should be an anti skinny bashing thread.
Exactly, but that anti skinny bashing thread turned into another ED argument.
Oh right, I forgot that. Y'know because all skinny people have an ED. :P0 -
It did used to be really nice, but as it has got bigger and more popular its become full of trolls and miserys. Good for you! let's keep it friendly people. Some people have hijacked the fact we do this thing via a forum to have an excuse to people bash under the guise that forums are "Public forum's" there are loads of forums on the internet you can be an A-Hole on, why pick here?!
So true. Don't feed the trolls... lol!0 -
I have never seen a fat bashing thread. If they exist, they are culled quite quickly. Skinny bashing, on the other hand....every where. Including people being accused of have eating disorders or using steroids.
Skinny bashing is much worse, hell my freaking SUCCESS STORY got hijacked the other day by crazy *kitten* people, calling me rude and terrible things. If anything, there should be an anti skinny bashing thread.
Exactly, but that anti skinny bashing thread turned into another ED argument.
Oh right, I forgot that. Y'know because all skinny people have an ED. :P
No, no, I totally get your point. Just throwing another perspective in here.0 -
I agree with the OP. And; I will state what I have stated here before. This is my personal belief, based on my personal experiences. I have been my perfect weight and in good shape most of my life (64yo), except for the past 12 years or so since my back injury, qualifying as obese for the past 5 years or so. And yes, I know I got this way from eating more calories than I was burning. A sudden change in life as you know it has a profound effect on emotional outlook and what you feel you can control, but mostly about things for which you feel you have lost control.
Anyway:
I believe the general public, who are not obese, views obese (not just overweight, but obese) people as disgusting. It was hard for me to swallow, but as time went by, I noticed it more and more. Now, it's not uncommon to overhear comments like "oink", "fat pig", or "fatso" as I pass by. Combine that with being disabled and people blatantly step in front of you in line, ignore you when waiting for services or step in front of you and block your path, then just stand there when in the grocery store. Once in a blue moon someone will offer to reach something on a high shelf or offer you to go ahead of them. I don't expect special treatment, but I also don't expect to be treated like a major inconvenience.
I see it all the time, thinner people posting about obese people starting out with "it's not my intention to offend anyone" or "I realize some obese people can't help it" or "I'm just trying to help".. or some other inane preface to an insulting posting about who they see at McDonald's or what they see someone else eating. And, yes, I have seen obese people make derogatory statements about thin people too. Usually, it's out of frustration with how they have been treated and is a defense mechanism like; diss them before they can diss you. Neither one is acceptable. So, as the OP said, "if you can't say something nice", keep your mouth shut and MYOB!! And... don't impose your "help" unless help is asked for.0 -
I've only been a member for a week or 2 - and I've only seen one negative/obese post from an outspoken young woman (who openly admitted being opinionated.) Yes, she was rude and I saw a lot of folks shut her down. Seems like the MAJORITY of the people on this site are AWESOME!! I couldn't help but smile at the "walk in my fat shoes" comment. Hopefully with some support and patience, I'll get me some SKINNY SHOES!0
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I've only been a member for a week or 2 - and I've only seen one negative/obese post from an outspoken young woman (who openly admitted being opinionated.) Yes, she was rude and I saw a lot of folks shut her down. Seems like the MAJORITY of the people on this site are AWESOME!! I couldn't help but smile at the "walk in my fat shoes" comment. Hopefully with some support and patience, I'll get me some SKINNY SHOES!
You've already started! Good luck hun!0 -
I have never seen a fat bashing thread. If they exist, they are culled quite quickly. Skinny bashing, on the other hand....every where. Including people being accused of have eating disorders or using steroids.
Skinny bashing is much worse, hell my freaking SUCCESS STORY got hijacked the other day by crazy *kitten* people, calling me rude and terrible things. If anything, there should be an anti skinny bashing thread.
Hell you looked great in your before pics your after pics are amazing.0 -
I've only been a member for a week or 2 - and I've only seen one negative/obese post from an outspoken young woman (who openly admitted being opinionated.) Yes, she was rude and I saw a lot of folks shut her down. Seems like the MAJORITY of the people on this site are AWESOME!! I couldn't help but smile at the "walk in my fat shoes" comment. Hopefully with some support and patience, I'll get me some SKINNY SHOES!0
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What this thread is is a great example of confirmation bias. The overweight crowd sees nothing but fat bashing everywhere. The slim crowd sees skinny bashing everywhere.
Both groups overlook it when it happens to the other. "Big girls" have no problem saying "Real women have curves." Skinny folk feel justified thinking overweight people are lazy and eat too much.
When both groups learn that it does no good to tear the other down it will stop. But that sure ain't gonna happen! So strap on a helmet and just work on you.
Truth0 -
I have never seen a fat bashing thread. If they exist, they are culled quite quickly. Skinny bashing, on the other hand....every where. Including people being accused of have eating disorders or using steroids.
Skinny bashing is much worse, hell my freaking SUCCESS STORY got hijacked the other day by crazy *kitten* people, calling me rude and terrible things. If anything, there should be an anti skinny bashing thread.
Exactly, but that anti skinny bashing thread turned into another ED argument.
Oh right, I forgot that. Y'know because all skinny people have an ED. :P
No, no, I totally get your point. Just throwing another perspective in here.0 -
Not to burst any bubbles, but most people are fat from being lazy and irresponsible (excluding children). I think the reason people can be mean to overweight people is also out of frustration. Lets be real here, most fat people dont have some kind of disorder or issue making them fat. Its simply bad diet and bad habits. Strangely enough, people have 1000 reasons why they got fat and usually none blaming theirself. Then the same fat people who complain about how hard it is to be fat will bash all the thin people for wanting to lose some vanity pounds. I have yet to see any negative fat comments personally. I see mostly skinny bashing and calling muscular girls men all day.
THIS^^
For your info I gained about 70+ lbs from being hospitalized due to pneumonia and was put on steroids (3 times in one year). This put me to an super obese state. Yeah I was overweight before due to being judged, low self esteem, a marriage where I was abused in every way, and I could go on...and on....and on....but what do you care. And honestly it is people like who upset me the most.
I did say most dont have a medical condition. Either way, good on you for doing something about it.0 -
People will have their opinion about everything. It's sad but true that there are plenty bashing on both ends but you can't choose who writes on the forums. I suggest focusing on your goals/journey, using MFP as a resource, the success story forums and other positive topics/blogs that are more useful and inspiring (there are plenty!). Great success on your journey.0
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Not to burst any bubbles, but most people are fat from being lazy and irresponsible (excluding children). I think the reason people can be mean to overweight people is also out of frustration. Lets be real here, most fat people dont have some kind of disorder or issue making them fat. Its simply bad diet and bad habits. Strangely enough, people have 1000 reasons why they got fat and usually none blaming theirself. Then the same fat people who complain about how hard it is to be fat will bash all the thin people for wanting to lose some vanity pounds. I have yet to see any negative fat comments personally. I see mostly skinny bashing and calling muscular girls men all day.
Huh? :noway:0 -
:glasses:0
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Ignorance?
People get obese bc of themselves, that's all. Anything is fixable. Including being overweight.
Please elaborate...
I gained a ton of weight because I have a medical condition called PCOS. Unfortunately for me, it makes it much harder for me to lose the weight. I also gained weight when I was pregnant. I fail to see how a medical condition is "because of me". I'm not saying that I can't lose the weight or don't want to or that I have to have the fat sucked out or anything like that. I'm just saying that it's more difficult and that I'm more prone to gaining because of the condition.
PCOS didn't MAKE you gain weight. Calories did. I have PCOS as well. YES it is difficult to lose weight but in the end, our former lifestyles and eating habits made us fat. PERIOD. I cut back carbs, started exercising more and lost my first 25 lbs pretty quickly, then some more. It is possible.
No offense but I often feel people use medical conditions as a crutch or excuse. Too many CALORIES make you gain weight, nothing else.0 -
Over the last week there have been several posts about how disgusting, lazy, undetermined, undedicated and basically good for nothing obese people are. First let me say that not all of us have gotten this way due to eating unhealthy. Second of all you are posting on MFP and all of us reading your posts about how horrible we are, are on MFP because we have decided to make a difference in our health and weight. So I ask you, if you are so upset and disgusted by obese people not taking care of themselves, why don’t you post it on your facebook where your friends can see how worried you are about their obesity. MFP is a place of encouragement and support, whether its toning and maintain, losing 5 pounds or 100 pounds. Don’t you think self esteem issues had a lot to do with some of us getting this unhealthy? I am 108 pounds overweight and have been on track since the middle of January, down 16 pounds and over 5 inches and get enough dirty looks and am hard enough on myself without coming into the forums reading how YOU feel about ME or any other people struggling with weight when you havent walked a DAY in MY FAT SHOES!!!
Go by the old saying…if you have nothing nice to say….don’t say anything at all
Sounds like your doing a great job. Don't let it discourage you, anytime you have a lot of people in an area there are always people that nitpick and find fault we just need to uplift each other.0
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