TIME magazine and breast feeding a 4 year old

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  • Meggeler
    Meggeler Posts: 42
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    OMG - I wasn't going to comment, I tried . . .

    But I kept reading. Isn't there a problem with people who "get off" with their children? I understand nursing an infant but - 'That Kid Ain't No Infant'? Or perhaps the biological changes during nursing don't happen when you do it for publicly, or maybe enjoy the contractions? :)

    Yea, I know, I'll leave the site. First I'll mark my "Stuff" as private. But please remember I have 6 (six) daughters all of whom I support their choices and 2 have nursed their children (others need to work). But never after they are big enough to climb upon a chair.

    Bye -
  • lisaishotpink
    lisaishotpink Posts: 124
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    The article references 'attachment parenting,' which is the method the parents chose to follow to raise their child. Why tear someone down for doing something mothers have done for ages? I don't get all the negativity... I had my son via c-section 17 months ago, and only breastfed for 7 days, that's it, before my incision became infected so badly it put me back in the hospital resulting in my massive allergic reaction to the IV antibiotics and me almost dying. I wish I could have breastfed until he was at least 12 months, but I couldn't. Seriously, I find more negative comments on this site than anywhere else. What ever happened to ACCEPTANCE?!?!
  • nicholettebell
    nicholettebell Posts: 414
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    I don't know if anyone mentioned this because I was not going to read 18 pages worth of stuff, but I just read on the article that Yahoo posted about her that she also breast fed her adopted son. It didn't say for how long she did that for.
  • delonda1
    delonda1 Posts: 525 Member
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    It is only in this western society where sex is over glorified and the essence of family is going downhill that we look at it as such a negative thing. I plan to have kids and breastfeed atleast till 1 1/2 -2. Get over yourselves people. It's a natural thing that our bodies we're made to do.
  • stampinmama
    stampinmama Posts: 30
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    What many of you are missing is the difference between "breast feeding" and "nursing"... it isn't all about FEEDING... there is the closeness and comfort that comes from being at the breast. And quite honestly, if it is not YOUR child, at YOUR breast... what do you care????

    CHILDREN who are breastfed are soooo much better off from a health stand point... I would think people on a site like MFP would be knowledgeable about the health benefits of EXTENDED nursing....Might I suggest you educate yourself before you force your opinion on others?
  • stampinmama
    stampinmama Posts: 30
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    .
  • stampinmama
    stampinmama Posts: 30
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    I don't know if anyone mentioned this because I was not going to read 18 pages worth of stuff, but I just read on the article that Yahoo posted about her that she also breast fed her adopted son. It didn't say for how long she did that for.

    What a wonderfully lucky adopted child!!!!!
  • DeeDeeLHF
    DeeDeeLHF Posts: 2,301 Member
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    I personally find it disgusting-what are your thoughts?

    In most countries children are breastfed until they wean themselves...usually around ages 3-4. This is not unusual or even discussed in those countries....it is just way of life. In American, breasts are not seen as life-giving, nutrient providers...they are seen as sexual objects. I don't fault you for your opinion. You are just a product of your society.

    I nursed my daughter until she was around 15 months. After that I started feeling the presssure of people asking, when are you going to stop doing that already? I didn't let them make up my mind...we were both ready to move on. But I did feel the pressure...I am also a product of our society.

    This...It is only our western culture that finds breastfeeding a child "disgusting". I have found that what ever age is the oldest a mother has personally nursed her child is the age she things everyone should wean. It is just plain hard to imagine it until you have done it. I have allowed baby led weaning for 3 of my 5. The oldest was 4 and the youngest was 2 when they weaned themselves. They decided. The two that I weaned had a hard time. It was too early for each of them. One was 2 and one was almost 3. I had good reasons for weaning but I wish I could have let them decided.

    Personally, it was a good experience for us.

    I found the picture distasteful but not the practice.

    D
  • Marla64
    Marla64 Posts: 23,120 Member
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    I personally find it disgusting-what are your thoughts?

    In most countries children are breastfed until they wean themselves...usually around ages 3-4. This is not unusual or even discussed in those countries....it is just way of life. In American, breasts are not seen as life-giving, nutrient providers...they are seen as sexual objects. I don't fault you for your opinion. You are just a product of your society.

    I nursed my daughter until she was around 15 months. After that I started feeling the presssure of people asking, when are you going to stop doing that already? I didn't let them make up my mind...we were both ready to move on. But I did feel the pressure...I am also a product of our society.

    This...It is only our western culture that finds breastfeeding a child "disgusting". I have found that what ever age is the oldest a mother has personally nursed her child is the age she things everyone should wean. It is just plain hard to imagine it until you have done it. I have allowed baby led weaning for 3 of my 5. The oldest was 4 and the youngest was 2 when they weaned themselves. They decided. The two that I weaned had a hard time. It was too early for each of them. One was 2 and one was almost 3. I had good reasons for weaning but I wish I could have let them decided.

    Personally, it was a good experience for us.

    I found the picture distasteful but not the practice.

    D

    agreed.
  • mdsjmom98
    mdsjmom98 Posts: 333 Member
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    If she is so hell bent on making sure her child gets breast milk, she could pump and serve it to him in a sippy cup. She is not going to bond her child to her by breast feeding this late in the game. If anything she's going to make him feel like an outcast. If a child is capable of getting his own drink, hooking him up to the tit is just perversion on her part, and will probably scar the boy. I'm probably going to get blasted by people, but it's just my opinion. And I also breast fed both of my children until they were about 6 months old, both are healthy, happy well adjusted kids, and are well bonded with me.

    What schools did you study at, or research team did you work on to come up with what you stated above? Because while pregnant, I read several books by people who've studied this and monitored children as they progressed through the years to see what the long term affects are.. and if the child even remembers nursing and they all stated the exact opposite of you.

    For every book you've read, there are 10 more out there contradicting it. Just because it's in print doesn't make it the gospel.
  • impyimpyaj
    impyimpyaj Posts: 1,073 Member
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    If she is so hell bent on making sure her child gets breast milk, she could pump and serve it to him in a sippy cup. She is not going to bond her child to her by breast feeding this late in the game. If anything she's going to make him feel like an outcast. If a child is capable of getting his own drink, hooking him up to the tit is just perversion on her part, and will probably scar the boy. I'm probably going to get blasted by people, but it's just my opinion. And I also breast fed both of my children until they were about 6 months old, both are healthy, happy well adjusted kids, and are well bonded with me.

    What schools did you study at, or research team did you work on to come up with what you stated above? Because while pregnant, I read several books by people who've studied this and monitored children as they progressed through the years to see what the long term affects are.. and if the child even remembers nursing and they all stated the exact opposite of you.

    For every book you've read, there are 10 more out there contradicting it. Just because it's in print doesn't make it the gospel.

    Ok, well I've KNOWN several people who remember breastfeeding, and they are not scarred. It's food, it's comfort. It's not "weird." Children throughout history and all over the world remember breastfeeding, and unless OTHER PEOPLE make them feel like there's something wrong with it, it doesn't bother them. Because it's normal and natural.
  • shoppie
    shoppie Posts: 618 Member
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    Americans are really odd about this. I don't get it. I have 3 kids, one I fed to 6 months but then went back to work so gave him a bottle. the second I fed until he was pretty much exactly 1 when he self-weaned, I am sitll feeding my daughter who is 15 months. I thought the lad in the pic looked a bit "what are you staring at?!" but that's about it.
  • PunkyRachel
    PunkyRachel Posts: 1,959 Member
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    I agree, the cover is a bit disturbing, and I about thew-up. The kid even looks like he's being forced to do it. Don't get me wrong I'm all for breastfeeding, and If you can go past a year, that's fantastic!!! Just pump and pour it into a cup for the kid to drink.
  • robot_potato
    robot_potato Posts: 1,535 Member
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    Breastmilk does not stop being beneficial to a child at any certain point. Letting them choose when to wean is good, their bodies know when they are recieving adequate nutrition from other sources far better than some judgmental stranger. My oldest was not able to nurse, I pumped milk for her until she was 3. My son breastfeed until last summer, shortly after he turned 3. Had he needed to nurse longer, I would have let him. You find it disturbing that a child breastfeeds from their own mother, but I bet you drink Milk and consumer bodily excretions from a strange animal that you've never met.
  • shoppie
    shoppie Posts: 618 Member
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    I'm fascinated by the notion I should pump and stick it in a cup when my child hits one. Why?

    I stopped being able to get anything off with a pump when she was about 7 months old, but am still feeding her 8 months on.
  • PunkyRachel
    PunkyRachel Posts: 1,959 Member
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    The kid is 3, not 4.

    thanks for the correction-even at 3 years old-its disgusting. Not breast feeding itself-just at that age and the cover was just disturbing.

    I agree.

    oh, but its less disgusting to give your kids milk from a cow teet? hmm. intersting. or a toddler mixed formula from some big company that has killed children in 3rd world countries for greed...yup, im talking Nestle.

    Umm...you are not putting the cow teet in the child's mouth are you? I'm all for breastfeeding, but if the child is old enough to drink out of a glass, then just pump and put it in a glass for them to drink.
  • impyimpyaj
    impyimpyaj Posts: 1,073 Member
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    The kid is 3, not 4.

    thanks for the correction-even at 3 years old-its disgusting. Not breast feeding itself-just at that age and the cover was just disturbing.

    I agree.

    oh, but its less disgusting to give your kids milk from a cow teet? hmm. intersting. or a toddler mixed formula from some big company that has killed children in 3rd world countries for greed...yup, im talking Nestle.

    Umm...you are not putting the cow teet in the child's mouth are you? I'm all for breastfeeding, but if the child is old enough to drink out of a glass, then just pump and put it in a glass for them to drink.

    Not the same. The mother's body responds to the child's needs. If the child is dehydrated, the milk is more watery and less fatty. If the child is going through a growth spurt, the milk is more fatty. If the child has been exposed to a virus, the milk contains antibodies for that specific virus. It goes on and on. Pumped milk is fine, but it's not as beneficial. In addition to that, many women's milk contains an excess of the enzyme lipase, which causes the milk to taste soapy after it's been exposed to the air for very long. Mine was like that, and my kids wouldn't drink it. Can't blame them!
  • MzMandi1025
    MzMandi1025 Posts: 78 Member
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    The kid turns 4 next month, so he's pretty much a 4 year old. I honestly have more issue with the "Are you mom enough" title than the extended breastfeeding. I think that the photo could have been done better. If they were trying to show the nurturing side of extended breastfeeding, they could have done a better job than standing the kid up on a chair. It doesn't come across very nurturing in my opnion.
    I was only able to nurse my daughter for 5 mos even though I had planned to nurse for at least 1 year. My daughter is 3 1/2 now & I can't imagine still breastfeeding her, but to each their own.
  • mfpcopine
    mfpcopine Posts: 3,093 Member
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    I personally found the cover pic to be disturbing ...

    It was supposed to be. That's how magazines are sold. I haven't read the article, but I'm familiar with the subject it addresses: the pressure on women to be Super Moms.

    As for breast feeding, human babies develop more slowly than other mammals, but I don't believe they need to be breast fed at the ages of 3 and 4. I don't believe in the methods in which women are expected to be with their kids 24/7. It's not necessary and it's a way of undermining women by making them feel guilty for not being the perfect mother. No one seems to care about the lack of perfect fathers.
  • jan_andrea
    jan_andrea Posts: 44 Member
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    I told myself I wouldn't post, but I can't help myself :P

    You can't force a kid to nurse, especially an older kid. If they don't want to, *they won't do it*. You're talking about putting a kid with teeth on a breast and trying to make them nurse? That's a recipe for getting bitten. Kids that age don't get guilt, either, so saying mom is trying to guilt them into BFing is nonsense, too.

    And yes, FTR, I weaned my last at 3 years -- my choice, not hers. She would have kept going if I had let her, but I was so done by then.

    The kid was 3 -- they dressed him to look older (obviously, if the number of posters who thought he was 4 was any indication) and deliberately set out to make the photo provocative. They want to sell magazines! How better to do it than to make a controversy over something totally innocent?

    Also, their spin on AP was so totally off. I did AP because it was easy for me. Breastfeeding was easier than mixing up formula bottles (even leaving aside the well-documented and really incontrovertible health benefits). Safe co-sleeping was easier than getting up in the middle of the night -- I was pretty well-rested even with a newborn, and how many American new mothers can say that? Babywearing was easier than dealing with a stroller, and made taking care of my other kids a snap. The magazine was trying to make this a mommy wars issue (and apparently they succeeded), but AP is not about "I'm a better mom than you!" It's about "This works for me and/or my partner and my child" and if it doesn't work for you, then don't do it. Just don't get all judgmental because I do it.

    If you don't have children, trust me, *you do not know what you are talking about here*.

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