Older man with Younger Woman (Ladies Only)

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  • sleepytexan
    sleepytexan Posts: 3,138 Member
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    Ugh. My dad just married a woman from Thailand who is a year younger than me (she's 31, he's 56.) He's going through the paperwork now to move her here (US) in about six months. I'm really trying to be positive about the whole thing, as he seems happy, but I just can't shake this :grumble: :sick::explode: :sick: :huh: feeling. Am I wrong to find the whole situation unappealing?
    No offence, but seems like one of those mail order bride things.................................that s*** ain't right!!!

    Can you say "Green Card"? OR as I have heard sooo many times, "Me love you long time". But looking at the positive, I hope I'm wrong.

    Come on people -- stop slamming the woman. So she wants an older man who can bring her to the US. And he wants a young Thai woman (insert cultural expectations of slim, beautiful, subservient here). Seems they are both getting what they want. If they find love in the midst of it, good for them.
  • sleepytexan
    sleepytexan Posts: 3,138 Member
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    Something from the Captain Obvious Files: Men tend to be visually distractable. The older the woman, the harder it becomes to compete with the 20-year-olds.
  • KariQuiteContrary
    KariQuiteContrary Posts: 274 Member
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    My son's biological father is 11 years older than I am (I was 17, he was 28).

    Historically, I've only been interested in men who are around 7-15 years older than myself.

    Why exactly is this wrong???

    Okay, at 17, it was a little icky. At 28, though?

    What is wrong with preferring someone in their late 30s or early 40s? I'm an adult - a responsible one - so what exactly is the problem?

    Exactly! Honestly I suppose I have a preference for dating older men. It's not about the benjamins, nor any other shallow or underhanded reason. I find that they usually have their act together, are more mature (although my ex hub, who is 6 1/2 years older than I, proved me wrong on that one), and on the same page with where I want to go/be in life (I've had two kids already and I'm good with that). I've dated men anywhere from 5-13 years older than me and been perfectly happy. I'm pretty sure the last time I seriously dated a man/boy my age was in high school.
  • jallen1955
    jallen1955 Posts: 121
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    Whatever works for the two of you.

    Sometimes life throws you a curve ball that has no logic....my guy is 30 years younger than I am. I would have never believed it could work, but 18 months later, we are still happy.

    (and btw: he keeps up pretty good lol)
  • SmallTownSweetie03
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    I've been seeing a guy that's 14 years older then me for the last couple of months and it's great! I agree with every one who says age is just a number!
  • Rach_Gem_n_Disguise
    Rach_Gem_n_Disguise Posts: 140 Member
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    My husband is 16 years older than I am. I'll be 31 in June and he'll be 47 in October. He is very active and I swear you would never guess until he takes off his ball cap and you see his salt-n-pepper hair (which I think is sexy) that he is even in his forties. He is very active at work and his stamina is far higher than mine. I feel much older than him physically ....probably because he is in such good physical shape. I never have ever seen an age gap there until someone points it out or we joke about it. To me women mature faster...no offense to the younger men. :smile:
  • SmallTownSweetie03
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    My son's biological father is 11 years older than I am (I was 17, he was 28).

    Historically, I've only been interested in men who are around 7-15 years older than myself.

    Why exactly is this wrong???

    Okay, at 17, it was a little icky. At 28, though?

    What is wrong with preferring someone in their late 30s or early 40s? I'm an adult - a responsible one - so what exactly is the problem?

    Exactly! Honestly I suppose I have a preference for dating older men. It's not about the benjamins, nor any other shallow or underhanded reason. I find that they usually have their act together, are more mature (although my ex hub, who is 6 1/2 years older than I, proved me wrong on that one), and on the same page with where I want to go/be in life (I've had two kids already and I'm good with that). I've dated men anywhere from 5-13 years older than me and been perfectly happy. I'm pretty sure the last time I seriously dated a man/boy my age was in high school.

    I totally agree with both of these!! My ex husband/father of my kids was 7 years older then me and our not being together had nothing to do with our age difference, it was a personality difference. Now my guy is 14 almost 15 years older then me and it's not about money at all! He's a sweet guy! I'm a grown woman who can make her own choices and if a guy is nice and respectful of me and my kids I'm not going to run a way because of a number!
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    My husband is 16 years older than I am. I'll be 31 in June and he'll be 47 in October. He is very active and I swear you would never guess until he takes off his ball cap and you see his salt-n-pepper hair (which I think is sexy) that he is even in his forties. He is very active at work and his stamina is far higher than mine. I feel much older than him physically ....probably because he is in such good physical shape. I never have ever seen an age gap there until someone points it out or we joke about it. To me women mature faster...no offense to the younger men. :smile:

    Many members of my family were entirely gray in their 20s, so salt and pepper hair isn't even a good indication of age. Thank goodness, as mine's starting to turn! lol
  • FrugalMomsRock75
    FrugalMomsRock75 Posts: 698 Member
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    A woman told me the other day that there are women who would date an older man ( 10-15 years older) and even have a family. My opinion is she was wrong but I want to ask the ladies on MFP. What are your thoughts?

    My husband is 15 years older than I.

    My profile picture speaks. ;)
  • hannahbanana0480
    hannahbanana0480 Posts: 46 Member
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    My last boyfriend was 42 and I am 32...nothing wrong with it. I don't really care what the age difference is, as long as we have things in common and get along. There are qualities I look for regardless of age. :-)
  • annameier8706
    annameier8706 Posts: 572 Member
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    I don't really see any issues with it. If there's a connection then there's a connection. A guy I have been talking to lately is 39 and I'm 24.
  • JDRBT
    JDRBT Posts: 264 Member
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    I dated a guy 13 years my senior when I was in my mid 20's. The things I was hoping for (a more established life, maturity, etc) weren't there as I'd hoped, and the relationship eventually died.

    Also, I learned he wanted more kids (he had 3 awesome kids from a previous marriage). I wasn't willing to get on that train with him. By the time said kids would be born, he'd be in his late 40's early 50's! It takes a LOT of energy to raise kids - and there are lots of reasons why a women's body turns off the baby-maker at a certain age.

    I'm not saying that older parents are "bad". Some are awesome. But it wasn't for me and I let the relationship go (among other issues). There are some get things about being with someone older (male or female). Usually (hopefully) they are more established in thier life/career, they are responsible, accountable, and know what they are looking for more than a younger person who "thinks" they have all those qualities, but hasn't had time to grow into them.

    That said -
    My first husband was 4 yrs older than me, and lacked the responsible/accountable/trustworthy qualities.
    My next serious BF was 13 years older than me, and lacked the established career, security (both emotional and financial), and shared goals.
    My Sailor (eloped last year, but we're throwing our wedding in August) is 3 yrs younger than me, but is accountable, financially stable WITHOUT ME (as I am without him), trustworthy, and shares my goals. I'm one of his first serious relationships, so we have our hiccups now and then, but they never last long. And built on a 14 yr friendship is a great place to start.

    It's all about maturity.
  • redraidergirl2009
    redraidergirl2009 Posts: 2,560 Member
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    A woman told me the other day that there are women who would date an older man ( 10-15 years older) and even have a family. My opinion is she was wrong but I want to ask the ladies on MFP. What are your thoughts?

    I'm not sure what you're asking exactly? Are you saying "no there are no women that would do that" or that you think it's wrong? I know lots of girls my age doing that (mid twenties) marrying a guy in his 30's/40's and having kids. I wouldn't do it, but there are women who are. I think it has something to do with the economy. Most younger men aren't making enough to support a family now in their twenties.
  • Steve_Runs
    Steve_Runs Posts: 443 Member
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    A woman told me the other day that there are women who would date an older man ( 10-15 years older) and even have a family. My opinion is she was wrong but I want to ask the ladies on MFP. What are your thoughts?
    Well Herb, my wife is 14 years younger then me! And yes, we have a daughter that just turned 14. So the answer to your question is yes, of course there are.
  • Steve_Runs
    Steve_Runs Posts: 443 Member
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    I don't really see any issues with it. If there's a connection then there's a connection. A guy I have been talking to lately is 39 and I'm 24.
    Exactly! I knew you were a good friend!
  • kamazza
    kamazza Posts: 98 Member
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    My husband is much older then I am and we've been together for years. We have three children together and no, he was never married previously or has any other children. Age is just a number!
  • kamazza
    kamazza Posts: 98 Member
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    I'm not sure what you're asking exactly? Are you saying "no there are no women that would do that" or that you think it's wrong? I know lots of girls my age doing that (mid twenties) marrying a guy in his 30's/40's and having kids. I wouldn't do it, but there are women who are. I think it has something to do with the economy. Most younger men aren't making enough to support a family now in their twenties.


    What?? I personally can't see women marrying older men because of the economy! Love is love! Money shouldn't have anything to do with that and it most certainly doesn't in my case. As a matter of fact, I was my husbands' boss for three years when we first met, I made way more then him! *lol*
  • Steve_Runs
    Steve_Runs Posts: 443 Member
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    I prefer in most instances men 10+ years older than myself. However, like others have said, it is personal preference.
    I knew I loved you Denise! muah!
  • Topsking2010
    Topsking2010 Posts: 2,245 Member
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    Having common interest and being active is very important!!! I find women my age are more set in their ways and lack adventure!!!
  • kamazza
    kamazza Posts: 98 Member
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    Also, I learned he wanted more kids (he had 3 awesome kids from a previous marriage). I wasn't willing to get on that train with him. By the time said kids would be born, he'd be in his late 40's early 50's! It takes a LOT of energy to raise kids - and there are lots of reasons why a women's body turns off the baby-maker at a certain age.

    I'm not saying that older parents are "bad". Some are awesome. But it wasn't for me and I let the relationship go (among other issues). There are some get things about being with someone older (male or female). Usually (hopefully) they are more established in thier life/career, they are responsible, accountable, and know what they are looking for more than a younger person who "thinks" they have all those qualities, but hasn't had time to grow into them.


    Ok, my husband is much older then I am. (10+) Our youngest child is just 18 months, with our other two 5 and 6 years old. He has more energy then most men half his age, and while I realize he has exceptional genes (most people peg him at around 35) he still has lived a longer life then I have and is an amazing father. He comes home and wrestles nearly every day with the older two.

    I guess I take the comments about older men to heart since I am married to one and maybe he's the exception, not the rule. But I can't help it. He is one of my biggest inspirations in my journey to become fit again and I could never imagine myself with anyone else.