Survey time: Should a guy pay on a first date?

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Replies

  • saraann4
    saraann4 Posts: 1,296 Member
    Depends...if the guy asked you out...he totally pays. If it was a mutually thing, I say go half or offer to pay. That way he should buck up and pay! lol I have no problem with paying or going half. But it's a first date...either half or he pays.
  • SalishSea
    SalishSea Posts: 373 Member
    Nowadays I think no. My daughter is nine years old and I will teach her she needs to pay for herself on the first date. If they continue to date it would be nice for each one to treat the other to a date night. But in the beginning in today's world my independent, self-supporting, capable daughter can pay for herself.

    I do agree it is gentlemanly to offer to pay for a first date but times are a changing'....for the better.

    To each their own. I don't mind if others prefer the man pays on the first date.
  • nikkiprickett
    nikkiprickett Posts: 412 Member
    they should at least pay half-I feel kinda bad for guys if they have to pay for EVERY first date they go on, not knowing what will happen...if you offer and they say no but look like they want it offer again, if they still say no....then you tried :)

    I don't think it's them not being a gentlemen but think about it, if they are in college and have a job they aren't living with their parents - they are just as broke as girls in college...I know I wouldn't want to pay for every first date I would go on....that'd make you broke!!

    On the other hand if they have the money because they aren't in college and have a good job then probably let em lol

    either way I would pay for mine and have him pay for his until we go on a 3rd date then he should :)
  • sammys1girly
    sammys1girly Posts: 1,045 Member
    ummm, yeah!!! I wouldn't even think of a second date if he made me pay!
  • sweetmommy215
    sweetmommy215 Posts: 15
    If you ask me out, you better be paying.
  • femmi1120
    femmi1120 Posts: 473 Member
    If he asks the girl out, definitely. If the girl asks the guy out, she should pay. No double standards.
  • toriaenator
    toriaenator Posts: 423 Member
    lol on my first date the dude (who asked me out) whipped out a gift card. which was whatever, except there was 7$ left on it so i payed (thinking he thought there was more on it, and feeling bad for him) the rest.

    then after i payed he whipped out his wallet and started counting his money (he had like 150$ on him) needless to say, it was a disaster.
  • ZebraHead
    ZebraHead Posts: 15,207 Member
    oh.... pay for dinner!!! *facepalm* nevermind!
  • deniseselah
    deniseselah Posts: 225 Member
    If he asked you out...he pays - if you asked him out...you should be prepared to pay. A true gentlemen will pay regardless.
    ^^^^^^ THIS!!

    I won't hate on a guy for not paying if I ask him out on the first date, and of course I would be prepared to pay, but I would think it was a little weird if he let me.

    I would TOTALLY hate on a guy who asked me out **on a first date** and expected me to pay (even tho I would be prepared to).

    I know it's a double standard. I'm sorry. I know it's old-fashioned. I'm sorry. It's just how I feel. After the first date it's dutch-a-roo (and kinda sweet to 'fight' about who's going to pay).

    I asked a guy friend to coffee - not even a date! - and he was like "only if you let me buy" - THAT is a gentleman!

    I feel bad that you had to pay, OP... :( but you learned something important about him!
  • Taylerr88
    Taylerr88 Posts: 320 Member
    if i have money then i'll pay.. if i don't i usually don't go on dates because i can't afford them.. woot for college
  • fguillory
    fguillory Posts: 291
    No a guy doesn't have to pay. I prefer to go half on dates. or he pays for one date. I pay for the next. Or if going to the movies he buys the tickets I get the snackage.
  • madmex569
    madmex569 Posts: 49
    I always felt that it is the guy who pays for the first date. Also the other dates until u get into a comfortable place with the girl.
  • UrbanRunner81
    UrbanRunner81 Posts: 1,207 Member
    I paid for part of my husband and my first date, we went out to dinner then to an art museum and I offered to pay for the museum and wouldn't take no for an answer.
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
    Your mistake was offering the $50. If you believe the guy should pay, make him pay. If you offer $50 and expect him to give it back, you are playing games. Most people don't like "playing games" when dating. Or at least that's what they claim.
  • ash190489
    ash190489 Posts: 587 Member
    Yup! If the boy asked you out to dinner, he should pay. After that, I think it should be shared or taking turns is always nice!
  • sjtreely
    sjtreely Posts: 1,014 Member
    I think there are too many unknowns.

    Who chose the restaurant?
    Did one of you order the most expensive menu item and one order the cheapest?
    Were drinks more than the food bill? If so, did you split a bottle of wine or did one of you consume most of the alcohol?

    I'm not ready to make a judgement quite yet.

    However, with all that being said, if he asked you out and he picked the restaurant and you did not order the most expensive item on the menu and you did not over indulge in alcohol, then you bought yourself a pretty cheap lesson. He won't change. Kiss your $50 and him good-bye.
  • Trail_Addict
    Trail_Addict Posts: 1,340 Member
    If you make twice his income, do you still expect him to pay?
  • DavetheHYNIC
    DavetheHYNIC Posts: 318 Member
    What s incredible is that this is even a question, if your a dude with short arms and deep pockets u can do starbucks you can go to the park and do a picnic lunch, Hell in the OP s case the guy spent 25 bucks that could have been a date at a pizzeria. It ain't what you got but what you do with it. The real problem is that too many women accept this ridiculous behavior from guys asking them out.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    In my country, women have equal rights and so they're treated like equals.

    Women not only pay for their own stuff, but also pay for the man.

    Also, sex on the first date is mandatory before the date even begins. This way, they know what they're getting themselves into :o
  • VeganInTraining
    VeganInTraining Posts: 1,319 Member
    Yes he should pay...My mom taught me to always offer to pay for my half and insist on leaving the tip. If a guy is worth your time we won't let you pay (especially not for more than half the bill!)
  • _trickpie
    _trickpie Posts: 87
    guy pays. if a girl tried paying me for her meal, she'd have to find a creative way to get the money into my jacket or car or something.
    Haha, I have rocked this method in the past.
  • chantalb20
    chantalb20 Posts: 132
    I wouldn't go an a second date if the guy didn't pay for the first date. I'd probably offer to pay/go halves, but if he accepted, I'd be kinda jacked. But, I've only ever been out with a man who's asked me out, not the other way around. Come to think of it, I've never paid for a date with my current boyfriend. Whoops.
  • sjtreely
    sjtreely Posts: 1,014 Member
    If you make twice his income, do you still expect him to pay?

    And that's a very good point, too. If I make quite a bit more than the person I'm dining with, then I offer to pay - male or female.
  • vade43113
    vade43113 Posts: 836 Member
    To the op, I would say yes...but, at the same time he should be able to control where the date goes... not afterward parts, but I mean movies at the dollar theater, dinner at Mcdonalds ... Just because it is cheap doesn't mean it can't be romantic - ish

    that is just me


    To everyone saying, if he asked you out he should.... so if she asked him out, she should pay? Just reversing your logic
  • ScatteredThoughts
    ScatteredThoughts Posts: 3,562 Member
    ... BUT WTH happened with the women's lib *kitten*? I guess "equality" only counts in certain situations.

    Its called eating your cake and having it too. :P
  • chatnel
    chatnel Posts: 688 Member
    He picked, it was thai, we shared bottle of wine and dish each. Oh and it get's better the food comes out and he serves himself and starts eating before I have even served myself.
  • igora_soma
    igora_soma Posts: 486
    I can't believe he let you pay the majority of it! I mean, I can understand half - but $50 out of $75 is ridiculous.

    I do think guys should pay the first few times, even so girls should offer. It offers the guy an opportunity to show what a gentleman he is :)
  • asgard825
    asgard825 Posts: 1,516 Member
    Yes
  • fguillory
    fguillory Posts: 291
    I pay my own way and won't let a man pay because I always feel like I owe them something. That and the men who I meet think that by paying they own the key to my vagina. lmfao
  • Athijade
    Athijade Posts: 3,300 Member
    I'm old fashioned, so I always have and will, BUT WTH happened with the women's lib *kitten*? I guess "equality" only counts in certain situations. If you got a problem with that, refer to my initial response. :tongue: :flowerforyou:

    I agree... and I am a chick.

    The person who asks should expect to pay. So, if the guy asks the girl out, then the guy pays. However, if the girl asks the guy out, then the girl should pay. As the relationship continues (IF it does), then things should even out as time goes on. I do not believe that one person should always pay all the time if it is an actual long term relationship.

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