Being bashed on for being 23 and pregnant!! :(

33 years ago we got married. I was 19, she was 22...within three years we had two children. Today the kids are married and between them we have six grand children. We struggled in the beginning because we were kids and didn't know dookie from Apple Butter...but we toughed it out, got educated, she stayed home and played mom, and I worked myself like a rented mule. It was worth every minute of it.

Basically we made our kids, our lives...right up to the day they moved out and got on their own. We love being empty nesters as much as we love being grandparents....and of course we think our children are the greatest.

Hang in there kiddo, the fun is only about to begin. I hope your BF can hack it....a lot of modern boys can't.

I'm not REAL sure, so you should check into this, but I do believe there are financial aid packages available to single parents. Apply for whatever grants you can find. Don't quit going to school. Having kids is wonderful, but looking back now, I wish I would have had my career goals either well on their way or at least figured out. I struggled through my 20s (had my daughter when I was 27) along with my then husband (her dad). I spent my 30s paying off the debt from my 20s, but somehow managed to go back to college and finish up my degree before she got into 2nd grade. Thank goodness because that's when the homework marathon sessions started. My daughter is now 19 and in college. Some of her friends have kids and are still going to school but I'm pretty sure it's through federal grants. Also, having a kid is a HUGE tax advantage. I know that's not the kind of support you are looking at right now, but believe me, come tax season next year...you'll appreciate it. Good luck!!

First of all to all who says 23 is not young or old, I disagree & find it offensive. What you are all trying to say is that she isn't alone & that there are a lot of younger mothers out there but definitely 23 IS STILL YOUNG. I'm already 33 & yet still single without a child & definitely don't consider myself old.

To the OP, I'm so sorry you have to undergo that pain of being rejected by your family. Although my case is different but I was also rejected by my grandfather & so I know how it feels to be one. Nobody does it worse than your own family. Just hang in there & perhaps talk to your friends or someone that you can confide on.

Honey, don't let this get you down. You have plenty of time to make plans before the baby comes. I got married at 22 and was pregnant and had my son while I was 23. You're NOT too young, and you have a bright future. Is it going to be tough? Sure! Motherhood IS tough! Trust me, my sons are 13 and 16 now and it's not a picnic everyday. As long as a baby has love and enough to eat and a warm safe place to live it will be JUST fine. Material things are just things... but I hope your boyfriend steps up and is involved in every way. Of course it would be better if you were married so you could count on his support and have his benefits, but if that's not where you are right now, just finish school and make a plan for the future. Maybe a part-time job would help in the meantime? Whatever, just take care of you and the blessing you're carrying. That's the most important job you could ever have!

I was 18 when I got pregnant, had my son when I was 19 but turned 20 that same year. I was scared! The day he was born was the best day of my life, I love him more than life itself.

Don't let people bring you down just because you're 23 & pregnant! 23 is not old at all, shoot I'm going to be 23 this year! You will be fine & congrats on the pregnancy!

I had my daughter at 18; she is almost 12 now and though it was tough I don't regret it. It's all about loving your child, being a good/present mother, and doing your best to support the child. If you really want this you WILL make it.

Can your boyfriend possibly handle the financial part until you are able to bring in some income? Babies are expensive, but there are ways to keep to cheaper, not everyone needs brand new top of the line stuff. There are organizations out there can assist. Is your family upset about your age or more you situation (IE: not married/not finically stable)?

I'm currently 29 and my lovely little 5 and a half year old daughter was born exactly 5 days before my 24th birthday. So I too was 23 and pregnant. My husband and I got married a few months before she was born (we had already been engaged before I got pregnant so it's not like it was a big deal). Only my mom had issues with it at first and she actually told me to consider giving my baby up for adoption! She only said it out of love and concern for me because she didn't want to see me go through the same struggles that she did by having me at 24. She never claimed that I was stupid for being pregnant at that age though since otherwise she'd be a hypocrite because she was pregnant at 23 as well (she just happened to turn 24 a few months before I was born). But now that my daughter is here, she's very grateful that I didn't take her advice and give her up for adoption. In fact, I'm pretty sure my mother has completely forgotten that she even suggested the adoption option.

But yeah, 29, married with two kids, SAHM and my husband is in the Army. I'm not going to lie and say that life is easy because it's not. Money has pretty much always been tight but we've finally gotten better about how we spend it and pay off our debts. Once we get all of our excess debts paid off (and probably me eventually a job) I know that life will be easier.

I know that you would really like to have the support of your family but if they don't want to give it to you right now then screw them. Just stick with your boyfriend and anyone else who loves and supports you because that's what you need right now, a bunch of positive people.

Best of luck to you in your pregnancy. Remember to eat smaller more frequent meals to help with nausea, nap when you can, drink plenty of water, exercise and if you don't like the taste of ginger ale to help with morning sickness that a nice iced chai tea is a great substitute. Haha

the thing is, i am unemployed now.. but JUST started going back to school. I am scared I won't make it but I know I would NEVER go through abortion.

Can you find something small to do on the side?

I had my 4th at your age...I'm 50, I have 5 girls-1 boy..and 14 grandkids...my youngest just joined the USAF I was meant to be a Mom. And I love every minute of it:) Not everyones "Right time" is right for everyone. Follow your heart.

You are unmarried and unemployed, you SHOULD be worried!

Work your *kitten* off please so my tax money doesn't have to go to feeding your kid (which is YOUR job).

BTW, I got unexpectedly pregnant with twins at 25. Immediately married his *kitten* and he went to the Army so we could take care of our own responsibilities. It's never easy, but work hard and be self reliant and you'll do ok.

This is rude on so many levels...I didn't see anything in her original post about asking anyone to support her children. And luckily you had a guy that was willing to marry you and go into the army. Many people don't have that option. Once *some* guys find out they're going to be a father they are never heard from or seen again. Also, you say your husband works but not you, so would you really be supporting her child?

And I could say something about my tax money supporting your family since your husband is in the army but I am very supportive of our military and I honestly believe they don't get paid enough for all the sacrifices, services, and work they provide. So congratulations on having things work out for you and thank you to your husband for the service he provides our country.

Please remember getting married isn't always an option or even the right choice for everyone. And by her going to school and getting an education, she will (hopefully) be able to provide better for her child in the future.

I know I am in the minority but 23 is too young. There are some beautiful success stories here. And I would never bash anyone for getting into that situation. It's hard enough trying to figure out your way through the world, decide on a career, etc. When a kid comes along, that becomes your main focus in life and it should be. I agree with many of the comments saying kids are the best thing that can happen in your life. But there is so much to see and do before adding that level of responsibility.
One positive is that you will still be young when your kids grow up and move out. Then you can see and do the things that you may not have been able to do now.

Good luck and enjoy your baby because 18 years passes in a blink then they are out (sometimes). Cherish every moment.

BTW - we had ours when I was 31 and my wife was 30.

Sorry your family are being unsupportive. I hope that when they get used to the idea, they will be there for you.

Can't really comment on your age - I was 31 when I had my first and copped some criticism from extended family about leaving it so long. It doesn't matter what you do, there will always be someone who thinks you are doing it wrong; try not to let it get to you.

Wishing you a healthy pregnancy with a happy, healthy baby, who makes you proud to be his or her mummy!

23, is not too young! I was married at 20 and had my daughter at 22 and my son at 25. They are my everything, and i wouldnt have changed having them when I did. I dont think its easy at any age.
Congratulations!!!

I have 4 kids and im only gonna be 22 on the 31st. dont feel bad! be positive! It will all work out. prove others that you CAN do it.
Being young and having kids is a blessing. Your probably not settled financially but you'll be able to raise your kids and watch them grow longer.

ps not married yet. lol.