Marriage Advice

Be honest and open, also lots of sex :drinker:

So many bad things are said about marriage, but there are good ones - I have a great marriage.

It will be difficult at first(at least mine was!), stick it out, eventually you will learn what makes each other tick and it
will all be worth it.

Make sure you are marrying your best friend! My wife and I are best friends first, parents second then husband and wife. Been marrie for 33 years now,.

Pick and choose your arguments. Don't go out of your way to prove, I told you so. Always share laughs together and reflect on your time together. Communicate, communicate, communicate, don't assume that each other should know what you want. You can't blame the other for not knowing something if you didn't make sure to communicate it, even the smallest of things.

Most of all, enjoy each other's company. You never know what tomorrow may bring and it would be a shame if your time together was cut short and all you had was regret about fretting about the little things when you should have been making the best of your time with each other.

These replies are far too serious, people.

Please, more trolling.

OK, since this is from the OP, I'll dip into the sarcasm file:

After the wedding, introduce him as your FIRST husband.

A wedding is like a funeral, but with musicians. ;-)

Check his texts daily.

And his internet history (seriously... *this* has gotten me tons of hugs and kisses </sarc>)

No really, I'd recommend the internet history too. Knowing about his fascination with "hot teenage porn" probably would've opened my eyes a little before I married him...

:flowerforyou:

And here is much advice from smarter people than I:



Funny Marriage Quotes


“Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts”
-Jeff Foxworthy

"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury."
-Groucho Marx

“The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.” -H.V. Prochnow

“I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.” -Lyndon B. Johnson

"A man's wife has more power over him than the state has."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't.” -Unknown

“My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.”
-Rodney Dangerfield

“Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.” -Minnie Pearl

"Behind every great man there is a surprised woman."
-Maryon Pearson

“They say love is blind...and marriage is an institution. Well, I'm not ready for an institution for the blind just yet.” -Mae West

“Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.” -H.L. Mencken

"A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished."
-Zsa Zsa Gabor

"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her." -Rodney Dangerfield

“No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.” -H.L. Mencken

“A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers.” -Grace Hansen

“If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternatively, there would never be more than three in a family.”
-Lawrence Housman

"Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy, fat women." -Marion Smith

“Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married?” -Barbra Streisand

“My mother once told me that if a married couple puts a penny in a pot for every time they make love in the first year, and takes a penny out every time after that, they'll never get all the pennies out of the pot.” -Armistead Maupin

"Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery." -Erma Bombeck

“I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.” -Lewis Grizzard

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage." -James Holt McGavran

Check his texts daily.

And his internet history (seriously... *this* has gotten me tons of hugs and kisses </sarc>)

No really, I'd recommend the internet history too. Knowing about his fascination with "hot teenage porn" probably would've opened my eyes a little before I married him...

Well, that is true... but seeing that he was looking for furnished apartments and not knowing why (he was looking for a friend looking to move), while you are already in the middle of another fight, doesn't exactly put good thoughts into your head...