Marriage Advice

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  • lizzybethclaire
    lizzybethclaire Posts: 849 Member
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    Be absolutely sure you can live with him as he is. No woman can change a man. Also, rememer the 80/20 rule: A spouse will only be about 80% of what you want. Make a list and on one side write down everything you love and on the other side everything you hate about your spouse/fiance. If the hate side is longer than the love side, sit down and really think about what you are about to do. Marriage is hard work.
    Personally, I married at 26 to a man with three kids. Sometimes I regret it. I missed out on a lot of things. Other times I know I made the right choice. It was a lot to take on to become a "mom" to three children. We missed out on our "couple" time. My kids are all teens now (17, 16, 14) and we are both excited to have our "couple" time coming up shortly.
  • candykay0605
    candykay0605 Posts: 1,019 Member
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    experiment with toys") invest in a swing

    I second this. A swing is a great investment.
    glad someone agrees to this :) when i started selling toys and starting getting some for ourselves things got really good :)
  • Jtorres326
    Jtorres326 Posts: 157 Member
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    I once read a quote: "women marry hoping the man will change and are disappointed when they don't; men marry hoping the woman never changes and are disappointed when she does."
    Know the person who you are marrying, truly know them. No one is perfect, but you should be able to live and love your spouse's imperfections.

    Also, don't let other's marriages set the rules for your own. FIgure out what works for you and your husband and know that your marriage will be different from someone else's. Good luck and enjoy each other!
  • cabaray
    cabaray Posts: 971 Member
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    The first 14 years are the hardest...as far as I know...we've been married 14 years this month!
  • Poorgirls_Diet
    Poorgirls_Diet Posts: 528 Member
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    Learn to compromise and accept each others faults. The first three years are the hardest thats if you haven't lived together before as you will be learning to live together but once you pass that then it should be plain sailing. Never hold a grudge. All the best to you both on your marriage
  • tuffytuffy1
    tuffytuffy1 Posts: 920 Member
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    In the wise words of Vicki from The Real Housewives of Orange County, make sure he fills your love bucket. :laugh:
  • NU2U
    NU2U Posts: 659 Member
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    My experiences...

    *when they've had a bad day..don't make it worse
    *be his fantasy
    *when he feels like talking..talk about everything..when he doesn't, STFU
    *do what you can to make his home life wonderful
    *don't use your mouth to fuss at him...use it to kiss him
    *the little things he does that pi$$es you off...let it go...they're LITTLE things
    *he works hard for you..always remember that..and appreciate it
    *encourage him..respect him..love him
    *he chose you....never let him regret it.
  • melb2003
    melb2003 Posts: 198
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    I have one more. When you do argue, don't make it a point to talk to everyone about your problems. I keep our issues inside our relationship and we like it like that. I mean, the people who you are talking to may not have the same perspective of you and they may very well give you bad advice. have a couple of close friends and only share with them. To all others, keep it private.
  • PottyMrs
    PottyMrs Posts: 55 Member
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    Whats his is yours and whats yoursis yours too! Your the boss and make sure he knows that!!
  • spoonful
    spoonful Posts: 200 Member
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    I would have to say be careful not to take your spouse for granted. It's such an easy thing to do as time passes. A great relationship is like air. You only notice it once it is gone.
  • NU2U
    NU2U Posts: 659 Member
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    Whats his is yours and whats yoursis yours too! Your the boss and make sure he knows that!!

    Nope..uh uh...no way!!
  • NU2U
    NU2U Posts: 659 Member
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    I would have to say be careful not to take your spouse for granted. It's such an easy thing to do as time passes. A great relationship is like air. You only notice it once it is gone.

    Winner Winner..Chicken Dinner (baked chicken, of course) :drinker:
  • MichaelRay21
    MichaelRay21 Posts: 9
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    In my experience:

    1. Kids change everything. Go into the child bearing years with your eyes wide open. Your relationship will change when kids come along. It is inevitable. Only you can decided whether this change will be positive or not.

    2. An extramarital affair does not always involve another person. Jobs, hobbies, climbing the corporate ladder, whatever....all of these can be considered affairs if the pursuit of one does long term damage to the relationship.

    3. Long term love is a decision.
  • KrisyKat
    KrisyKat Posts: 749 Member
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    1) The best marriages are between best friends.

    2) Listen to your heart (but don't let it drown out the sound of your brain!)

    3) Love.

    Congrats & best wishes for a bright future :flowerforyou:
  • Danardeener
    Danardeener Posts: 255
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    Don't do it.

    I second that!
  • MissC787
    MissC787 Posts: 175 Member
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    My experiences...

    *when they've had a bad day..don't make it worse
    *be his fantasy
    *when he feels like talking..talk about everything..when he doesn't, STFU
    *do what you can to make his home life wonderful
    *don't use your mouth to fuss at him...use it to kiss him
    *the little things he does that pi$$es you off...let it go...they're LITTLE things
    *he works hard for you..always remember that..and appreciate it
    *encourage him..respect him..love him
    *he chose you....never let him regret it.

    All of this and.... KEEP THE SEX spontaneous AND ALIVE! :tongue:
  • skir927
    skir927 Posts: 61 Member
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    Staying in love is a choice you make every day. Dan Savage says it very well: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1tCAXVsClw&feature=youtube_gdata_player
  • countrygirlatheart0717
    countrygirlatheart0717 Posts: 83 Member
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    Quote: Remember marriage is not a contest—never keep a score. The two of you together are on the same team to win.

    http://thestir.cafemom.com/love_sex/136313/worlds_longest_married_couple_has


    Well said! :)
  • OSC_ESD
    OSC_ESD Posts: 752 Member
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    ~ Make certain this is the person you can't imagine going through life without ... It's imperative to have honesty, trust and transparent moments that involve showing all your cards.

    Accepting someone for who they are before entering into a partnership / life commitment is probably the most important decision you can ever make ... never think you can change anybody after the fact ... make sure you enjoy some of the same hobbies and ideas of what life is about. Share your goals and where you want to take this road together, being sure that both want to go down the same path ... nothing is worse than that crossroads a few years into the marriage and your left wondering " why didn't I see this coming ".

    Communication is key ... NEVER go to bed angry ... learn early on that you can love somebody just as much when you agree to disagree.

    When you look at the person from a distance ... there should be no where else in the world you would rather be ... than in each others arms. Love is a gift ... should never be taken for granted.

    If your friends are younger than 30 ... I would strongly suggest making absolutely positively certain that they know who they really are before making a lifetime commitment ... people change and most of us don't get comfortable in our own skin until after 30.

    The bedroom should always be amazing with passion, lust, desire ... LOVE ... take chances ... risks ... be the fantasy the other person dreams about each and every day ... don't fall victim to " not enough time " ... make time !

    The last and final thing I would say is .... NEVER ... EVER ... SETTLE !

    Best wishes to the happy couple ... and if it's true love, may it last a lifetime !

    :flowerforyou:
  • blowsfire
    blowsfire Posts: 76 Member
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    congrats! respect one another-cherish it cuz it goes by faster than u think....:blushing:

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