Are most men like this to live with??

Who pays the bills, and is there something he does more of?

Like some people have it where the woman does like 80% of the cleaning and the guy pays like 80% of the expenses, takes care of cleaning the cars, and fixing things around the house.


If he isn't compensating...Then have a discussion on who should do what.

^^^ Exactly! There are always more factors included in the story that are often left out in these gender-bashing threads.

No, not all men are like this. Mine definately isn't. Why are you washing his greasy pan for him? If it stays dirty, it forces him to wash it before he cooks his breakfast again. You are encouraging and rewarding his behavior. My husband always washes his own nasty, greasy egg and bacon pan. Also, why are you cooking 2 separate meals? We take turns cooking, but when one of us cooks in my house, we both eat it. If one of us doesn't want it, we have to make our own. Don't support and enable bad behavior. It will just make you bitter and he will be confused when you finally do get mad at him. As far as he knows, everybody's happy with the arrangements.

Do you wash and iron clothes too? Because you sound like a keeper:flowerforyou:

I hope everyone here also realizes we are getting one side, I biased view, of the situation. He may be a loser, or he may have his own complaints and feel like he is getting the shaft.

In short, quit bashing this guy and concentrate on the OP.
If you are going to a fitness website for domestic problems... just saying.

For the most part, it sounds like he is the same as all guys. But he does sound a bit picky on some stuff. Like telling you you're not allowed to eat on the couch. The whole get dinner ready for him is BS too. My husband knows that if he isn't home when I make dinner, expect to reheat it. Speak up now about the things you are unhappy about, it only gets worse. If you don't communicate with him about what you want, you can't expect him to know. It took me a while to learn that.

When my now husband and I first moved in together I was being what I thought was a very kind girlfriend by getting up early and cooking his breakfast before he left for work, and making his lunch every day for work. I would then go to work myself, then come home and cook dinner and clean it. Mind you, he did help somewhat with the housework.

Fast forward a number of years and I too am getting tired of doing all this and has asked that he help me out and he says, quote " You did this to me, when we first started living together, you did everything and I kind of liked it and don't want to to change"

Well it did change, my hours got longer and he got a job where he only worked 4 hours a day(paid for 8) so he started cooking all the dinner meals. Now that he is unemployed, sadly, he does most of the housework and the cooking. I do cook the meals on the weekend as that is only fair and I do help with the housework.

But long story short - if you do not say anything to him this will continue and it will always be a sore point for you. Talk to him now and let him know that things have to change. As I am sure when he was living by himself he had to cook and clean.

Good luck to you

I don't think it's useful to essentialize but yes, I think your BF is taking advantage. Not because he is a man but because he is immature. Which is not an exclusively male trait.

Exactly^^^^

Talk to him and if he refuses get rid of him. And for the record there are men and women like this, it isnt just men!!

Agreed. No one needs a bad roommate, and that's what he is.

I am guy and would never act like that. I cook, clean, do laundry, et cetera. There is no excuse for this type of lazy behavior. I had a friend that was married and acted the same way, until he left his wife and moved back in with his mommy so she could take care of him because his wife refused to baby him. Ask yourself this, if he is this way now what would it be like with kids? I would say you need to sit him down and explain to him you are not his mommy/maid and this is a partnership where chores are shared. If he is not willing to change you better ask yourself if this is really what you want. If it is fine, but if not you might consider moving on. I'm sure you will get a bunch of responses from women saying their ex acted like this, emphasis on the word ex.

This is where esoteric and incredibly uncommon skills like "communication" and "expressing your expectations" come in handy. I promise it works better than passive-aggressive whining! Heck, if you practice it enough, you may even end up in a happy, functional relationship!