Can I have a male friend even if I have a boyfriend?

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Replies

  • SPNLuver83
    SPNLuver83 Posts: 2,050 Member
    If you have to ask, no. You're too immature.

    Other ladies, yes. Yes you may.

    EDIT: Forgot to add, if your BF has a problem with you having male friends, he is not allowed to have ANY friends, as he is too immature and controlling.

    I agree. I thought this site was 18 + anyways :huh:
  • gpstrucker
    gpstrucker Posts: 930 Member
    The more posts I read on this from the women that think it's no big deal, how would you feel if your BF or hubby came home and said, hey Hon, I met this really cool girl today, gave her my e-mail address and I'm going to be hanging out with her? My guess is it wouldn't go over too good with most of you.

    I guess it depends upon how insecure you are.
  • lilmisfit
    lilmisfit Posts: 860 Member
    My vocalist is a broad.

    Just an FYI - women do not like to be called "broads".
  • lickmybaconcakes
    lickmybaconcakes Posts: 1,063 Member
    Nope he obviously wants you and will jump at any chance he can get...
  • gpstrucker
    gpstrucker Posts: 930 Member

    Just an FYI - women do not like to be called "broads".

    Now I know why I can't get a date!
  • iwantahealthierme13
    iwantahealthierme13 Posts: 337 Member
    The more posts I read on this from the women that think it's no big deal, how would you feel if your BF or hubby came home and said, hey Hon, I met this really cool girl today, gave her my e-mail address and I'm going to be hanging out with her? My guess is it wouldn't go over too good with most of you.

    Fine with me, he needs more friends anyway.

    This ^... and *I* need more friends as well but would be okay with them hanging out without me... TRUST.
  • NU2U
    NU2U Posts: 659 Member
    If you already know he'd be furious...why bother!?

    If you even have to wonder if it's ok...perhaps you like this guy...and you're trying to justify keeping him as a friend..because you're so lonely.

    Are there no women in that city?

    Guy friends are ok...if there's no sexual attraction. If there is...even a bit of it...it could cause problems.

    Do you want drama in your relationship?
  • seventwenty
    seventwenty Posts: 565 Member

    Just an FYI - women do not like to be called "broads".

    Now I know why I can't get a date!

    That awesome mustache ought to make up for any of your shortcomings. Hell, I'm in love with your 'stache!
  • heyghoge
    heyghoge Posts: 153 Member
    If you can't be everything your partner needs, you're doing it wrong and shouldn't be with them.

    sarcasm, right? right????????????

    hannibal?
  • Music_is_my_soul
    Music_is_my_soul Posts: 792 Member
    My best friend is a guy!!!
  • HonkyTonks
    HonkyTonks Posts: 1,193 Member
    So today I met a really cool and funny guy on the bus who I would love to be friends with, the problem is I think my boyfriend would go crazy if I asked him about it.
    I'm recently new to this city and I don't know anyone besides me boyfriend, it can get quite lonely sometimes. I don't want to cause arguments in our relationship so would it be best for me to ignore the funny cool guy on the bus and not respond to his email to hang out?

    Most of my friends are guys, I just seem to get along better with them. I wouldn't let my boyfriend tell me who I can be friends with, but at the same time he really doesn't mind. That being said, you have to be wary with guy friends as some guys will be your "friend" but secretly be hoping for more. You need to be clear about boundaries.
  • littlepinkhearts
    littlepinkhearts Posts: 1,055 Member
    No, you may not. :angry:

    lol I like this...but honestly I would think you should be asking yourself that and then if need be, discuss with your boyfriend if you think he might not be entirely comfortable with your decision.
  • HonkyTonks
    HonkyTonks Posts: 1,193 Member
    The more posts I read on this from the women that think it's no big deal, how would you feel if your BF or hubby came home and said, hey Hon, I met this really cool girl today, gave her my e-mail address and I'm going to be hanging out with her? My guess is it wouldn't go over too good with most of you.

    I guess it depends upon how insecure you are.

    Pretty much. I am very secure in my relationship with my partner, we know each other intimately so jealousy is not an issue.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    Honestly, the guy probably wants to date you.
  • HonkyTonks
    HonkyTonks Posts: 1,193 Member
    I read something in a magazine the other day that made a lot of sense. The gist of it was that if you expect to be the ONLY companion of the opposite sex that your partner is going to have for the REST OF THEIR LIFE that you are setting your relationship up for failure. You simply can't provide all of the attention that they will ever need. It even hinted that a bit of harmless flirting outside of the relationship is good for the relationship.

    It hit home with me and I completely agree.

    I wish I could have thought this way in some of my past relationships. I used to be completely over jealous.

    Growing up, lesson learned. I've changed a lot since them and my next serious relationship will be much better because of it.

    If you can't be everything your partner needs, you're doing it wrong and shouldn't be with them.


    Sorry - I disagree. If you are trying to be EVERYTHING your partner needs, then your relationship is highly disfunctional and far too dependent. People need friendships and a life outside their relationships.
  • seventwenty
    seventwenty Posts: 565 Member
    I read something in a magazine the other day that made a lot of sense. The gist of it was that if you expect to be the ONLY companion of the opposite sex that your partner is going to have for the REST OF THEIR LIFE that you are setting your relationship up for failure. You simply can't provide all of the attention that they will ever need. It even hinted that a bit of harmless flirting outside of the relationship is good for the relationship.

    It hit home with me and I completely agree.

    I wish I could have thought this way in some of my past relationships. I used to be completely over jealous.

    Growing up, lesson learned. I've changed a lot since them and my next serious relationship will be much better because of it.

    If you can't be everything your partner needs, you're doing it wrong and shouldn't be with them.


    Sorry - I disagree. If you are trying to be EVERYTHING your partner needs, then your relationship is highly disfunctional and far too dependent. People need friendships and a life outside their relationships.



    Dis.


    Also, where'd OP go? We scare her off?
  • hallie_b
    hallie_b Posts: 175 Member
    I would NEVER tell my husband who he could and could not be friends with. He has female friends, I have male friends,we don't really think about it much I guess.
    Oh and I have NEVER had to ask my husband's permission to be friends with anyone. I would probably not have married him if he were that controlling and insecure.
  • future_runner
    future_runner Posts: 136 Member
    You're the only person that can answer that question. Can you be friends with cool guy and nothing more? If you can honestly answer yes, that is the only permission you need. Just be sure to inform your boyfriend that you have you new friend.
  • jesusHchris
    jesusHchris Posts: 1,405 Member

    Also, where'd OP go? We scare her off?

    She's on a date with the new guy.

    KIDDING!

    I'm out, good luck!
  • jayayach
    jayayach Posts: 178 Member
    As long as you are open and honest about it, I see no problem with it. It's all about trust. The fact that you even feel the need to ask worries me.
  • Athena98501
    Athena98501 Posts: 716 Member
    Honestly, the guy probably wants to date you.

    This may be true, but I'm pretty sure she won't be dated against her will.
  • nightsrainfall
    nightsrainfall Posts: 244 Member
    Most of my friends are guys, I just seem to get along better with them. I wouldn't let my boyfriend tell me who I can be friends with, but at the same time he really doesn't mind. That being said, you have to be wary with guy friends as some guys will be your "friend" but secretly be hoping for more. You need to be clear about boundaries.

    Well said! While I get along with most people equally, I currently have more guy friends than girl friends (kinda came with the job, lol). Sometimes I am that "girl friend" the guys hang out with and then go tell their wives or girlfriends. I have been told from time to time by my guy friends that sometimes they are jealous but usually that goes away once they meet me and see how we all interact. A friend is a friend and know the boundaries set - especially when you are taken or they are. Everyone has different relationships, some guys I can hang out with them one on one and their girlfriends don't care, others I wouldn't because I know it will strain their relationship and plus (thus) we don't have that type of friendship.

    (For the record, I always try to befriend both people in a relationship, and if dating someone and just met a new guy friend I generally will get them out together too. Actually some of my exes even became great friends with my guy friends - still are today... And I have met some girl friends through my guy friends' SOs too!)
  • hallie_b
    hallie_b Posts: 175 Member
    My vocalist is a broad.

    Just an FYI - women do not like to be called "broads".
    yeah I like to be called a dame, chick, gal, lass, actually I don't care what slang term you use for females...

    Just don'tcall me Ma'am or I might hurt you.
  • gpstrucker
    gpstrucker Posts: 930 Member
    My vocalist is a broad.

    Just an FYI - women do not like to be called "broads".
    yeah I like to be called a dame, chick, gal, lass, actually I don't care what slang term you use for females...

    Just don'tcall me Ma'am or I might hurt you.

    Yes, Ma'am, I'll keep that in mind.]
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    Posting from my phone so I'm going to keep this short...but its seriously no surprise I'm single.

    Good thing I'm ok with that...because with all this talk of dysfunctional relationships and controlling *kitten*...I'm amazed my parents, grandparents, and great grandparents marriages have lasted between 34yrs and climbing...and over 70yrs.
  • WifeNMama
    WifeNMama Posts: 2,876 Member
    Pretty sure that any guy chatting up a gal he just met is not thinking "gee, she's so funny, I hope she'll be my friend."

    Stereotyping's fun!
    :flowerforyou:

    nope, hurt my feelings. meanie pants.

    Girls in pigtails are never meanie pants.
    P.S. your tie's crooked. :tongue:
  • littlepinkhearts
    littlepinkhearts Posts: 1,055 Member
    Posting from my phone so I'm going to keep this short...but its seriously no surprise I'm single.

    Good thing I'm ok with that...because with all this talk of dysfunctional relationships and controlling *kitten*...I'm amazed my parents, grandparents, and great grandparents marriages have lasted between 34yrs and climbing...and over 70yrs.

    those times are gone and I don't see them returning in the near future....society has changed too much to go back....and in some ways that's a good thing and in some ways not.
  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
    Posting from my phone so I'm going to keep this short...but its seriously no surprise I'm single.

    Good thing I'm ok with that...because with all this talk of dysfunctional relationships and controlling *kitten*...I'm amazed my parents, grandparents, and great grandparents marriages have lasted between 34yrs and climbing...and over 70yrs.

    Werd.

    If you can't be honest about your needs with your partner, that relationship is doomed.
  • Laces_0ut
    Laces_0ut Posts: 3,750 Member
    go for it. its hard to make good friends and if this guy turns out to be one that would be great. however you should know there is a very good chance this new friend is looking for something more no matter what he tells you.
  • nicholettebell
    nicholettebell Posts: 414
    So today I met a really cool and funny guy on the bus who I would love to be friends with, the problem is I think my boyfriend would go crazy if I asked him about it.
    I'm recently new to this city and I don't know anyone besides me boyfriend, it can get quite lonely sometimes. I don't want to cause arguments in our relationship so would it be best for me to ignore the funny cool guy on the bus and not respond to his email to hang out?



    It all depends on if you are attracted to him. Thats what it really boils down to.

    ^^True story.

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