Is it ok for a woman..........

my two cents


maybe you need to call her and talk to her more,,,

its significantly harder to pull a woman astray ... that being said not very hard if there is/are underlying issues.. maybe even though she's been okay with you and the guys and DD ..maybe she has felt strange saying that she wants more of your time,,

if I am in a relationship I dont play games..
I let someone know if they are offending me or if I am skirting towards freedom.. generally it comes from feeling like I am not a priority
I dont want to have to remind someone I am with, that I need to be one.

maybe shes hinted/suggested/outright told you of concerns or at things and they haven't changed

the person on the other end may or may not be a concern

maybe he is filling a gap that she desperately wants from you

but I would say look at what your dynamics are ..if there are several flags
then yes its a cause for concern

but if you are meeting her needs then I would say maybe your reading to much into it..

Wait wait wait...she's been friends with him for 14 years? Knock it off dude...if she hasn't boned him yet she's not going to now.

And about your "gal friends"....how many of them have you known for 14 years? I'll tell you right now I would never stop talking to someone I've known that long just because my wife said so. I have female friends I've known for that long. There's also no question about my intention with them. The only person I want anything beyond friendship with is my wife and she knows it.

FUDGE this ^..this is just an excuse for her to continue to talk to him..dude don't listen to this.... yeah she's know him for 14 years but knowing of him or actual in her life knowing him day to day are two different things...if anything she is emotionally cheating on you and it's up to you to decide if you can live with that...not fulfilling her emotionally that is.

Are you serious? If you had a good friend for 14 years and your husband wanted you to stop talking to that person you'd be fine with that? I call bullsh!t.

hellz yeah 14 years ain't got nothing on the love a husband and wife SHOULD have for each other..and that is suppose to be FOREVER!! if you think otherwise maybe you shouldn't be married

I agree, and he stated later that he has not even met this "good friend" yet.

Sit down and say:

"So you've been talking to Bob an awfully lot. I'm uncomfortable with this. I would like to know the nature of your relationship with Bob."

^^This.

And yes it's suspect, so yes you should question it. And what do you mean she "lets" you hang out w/your friends? That statement says a lot unless you're under 15.

I wish that people would stop knocking the D & D in this thread. It's so beside the point. I don't play it, but I have a brother who is in his early 30s and still plays D & D. He has a serious girlfriend who he now lives with, and a good job he takes seriously, wherein he is a supervisor. He mostly plays D & D with his physically fit, non-pasty, tattooed best friends who are also his band mates in a very regionally popular metal band that just finished up a 6 week Canada-USA tour. Most of them are like brothers to me, and I wouldn't want to run into them in a dark alley, if I didn't know them.

So the OP and his friends still maintain a healthy imagination, every other weekend. It's better than being dead inside, like some people are. Toss your inner child some scraps, once in awhile. Geez.

I wish that people would stop knocking the D & D in this thread. It's so beside the point.

You know what else is beside the point? Defending "D & D".

Didn't read though comments either.
I don't think its right that shes guilting you into making you feel weird by saying well I let you do this so I'm allowed to do this. Tell her it makes you feel uncomfortable, its a marriage you should both be open. This guy could also just be a good friend if she doesn't have a lot of girlfriends. Does she meet up with him or is it a phone only relationship? If she meets up with him mention how you would like to meet him so you can put som feelers out.

Is it ok for a woman to talk on the phone to a guy for three hours if she is married? and talk to him for an hour here and an hour there and txt him at 1030 at night? Is it being unsupportive to be uncomfortable with that and saying how you feel about it? I am curious. WHat everyones opinion is on it. Even if she says you can go do whatever and then brings up the fact that she is supportive of me cause she lets me hang with the guys every other weekend at his house playing Dungeons and Dragons, yes I said I am a role player. Please Id like the opinions of everyone. Thanks

I have been married 11 years, together with him 12 years. We have the most successful marriage out of all my family and friends. Its built on trust, love, consideration and respect. Yeah I flirt a little bit and talk to people but never I would never talk to another guy on the phone for hours and hours, days on end like that. What concerns me the most is that she knows it makes you feel uneasy and jealous and she continues to do it. She is being super inconsiderate. If you love someone, you put their feelings before yours, always.

My thoughts. It takes a lot of energy for her to continue this "friendship" with him because you fight about it, so why is she? Why is he more important to her then having a calm relationship with you? Shouldn't she put your feelings first, not his?
You know where all these signs lead. Even if it hasn't turned physical, it sounds like a emotional affair to me.


BTW, I used to be an online hardcore MMO gamer girl. We are the shizznit

I'd have to presume he is gay because NO guy I know would talk on the phone for 3 hours... unless he's trying to get into her pants. What do they talk about? Does she talk to him while you're in the room? Seems to be a double standard though if you couldn't do the same with an old female friend.....

Wrong girly lol.

I was on the phone for 3hrs with a female friend last night...and we've no intention of sleeping with each other whatsoever lol.

You can (and I think have!) draw your own conclusion as to my sexual preferences =p.

Wait wait wait...she's been friends with him for 14 years? Knock it off dude...if she hasn't boned him yet she's not going to now.

And about your "gal friends"....how many of them have you known for 14 years? I'll tell you right now I would never stop talking to someone I've known that long just because my wife said so. I have female friends I've known for that long. There's also no question about my intention with them. The only person I want anything beyond friendship with is my wife and she knows it.

FUDGE this ^..this is just an excuse for her to continue to talk to him..dude don't listen to this.... yeah she's know him for 14 years but knowing of him or actual in her life knowing him day to day are two different things...if anything she is emotionally cheating on you and it's up to you to decide if you can live with that...not fulfilling her emotionally that is.

I had guy friends and my hubby made it known he was uncomfortable with it so i dropped them out of respect for him. He's been pulling the same **** your girl is pulling and passing it off like they are just friends..FUDGE that..I demanded him to cease and desist but they work together and far away..the trust is gone and once that goes there is no relationship..at least for me..just found out last week there was more to my husbands "friendship" story...still a little upset..sorry.... but i know what your going through..

And for the record...in that situation the trust isn't "gone"...it was never there in the first place. Telling someone to drop their friends just because they have the opposite anatomy is about the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard and it's the complete opposite of having trust in someone.

Judgmental much??

Every post you've made has been rude, accusational, and judgmental. Get over yourself man. Not everyone defines trust by your personal definition, and not everyone defines their relationship by your personal set of rules. It's obvious that there's plenty of people in this thread who have happy, healthy marriages...who would still be disturbed by how the OP's wife is acting.

Lol I like how you now are judging my own marital situation based on a response on a forum. I swear some of the *kitten* that gets posted on here never ceases to amaze me.

Did you even read your own posts?

Seriously?

I'd have to presume he is gay because NO guy I know would talk on the phone for 3 hours... unless he's trying to get into her pants. What do they talk about? Does she talk to him while you're in the room? Seems to be a double standard though if you couldn't do the same with an old female friend.....

Wrong girly lol.

I was on the phone for 3hrs with a female friend last night...and we've no intention of sleeping with each other whatsoever lol.

You can (and I think have!) draw your own conclusion as to my sexual preferences =p.

Wait wait wait...she's been friends with him for 14 years? Knock it off dude...if she hasn't boned him yet she's not going to now.

And about your "gal friends"....how many of them have you known for 14 years? I'll tell you right now I would never stop talking to someone I've known that long just because my wife said so. I have female friends I've known for that long. There's also no question about my intention with them. The only person I want anything beyond friendship with is my wife and she knows it.

FUDGE this ^..this is just an excuse for her to continue to talk to him..dude don't listen to this.... yeah she's know him for 14 years but knowing of him or actual in her life knowing him day to day are two different things...if anything she is emotionally cheating on you and it's up to you to decide if you can live with that...not fulfilling her emotionally that is.

I had guy friends and my hubby made it known he was uncomfortable with it so i dropped them out of respect for him. He's been pulling the same **** your girl is pulling and passing it off like they are just friends..FUDGE that..I demanded him to cease and desist but they work together and far away..the trust is gone and once that goes there is no relationship..at least for me..just found out last week there was more to my husbands "friendship" story...still a little upset..sorry.... but i know what your going through..

And for the record...in that situation the trust isn't "gone"...it was never there in the first place. Telling someone to drop their friends just because they have the opposite anatomy is about the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard and it's the complete opposite of having trust in someone.

Judgmental much??

Every post you've made has been rude, accusational, and judgmental. Get over yourself man. Not everyone defines trust by your personal definition, and not everyone defines their relationship by your personal set of rules. It's obvious that there's plenty of people in this thread who have happy, healthy marriages...who would still be disturbed by how the OP's wife is acting.

Lol I like how you now are judging my own marital situation based on a response on a forum. I swear some of the *kitten* that gets posted on here never ceases to amaze me.

Did you even read your own posts?

Seriously?

I wish I could "like" this. I am always a little annoyed when I see his comments on posts because they are always stating how someone else is wrong and his way is right.

Thank you Cris! That guy is seriously starting to irritate me. I agree, we need a "like" button