When You Cry... They Win. Stop.

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  • Aemely
    Aemely Posts: 694 Member
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    I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me! :flowerforyou:

    Well, at least some people. The rest of the people... I guess we are just not mutually compatible.
  • turningstar
    turningstar Posts: 393 Member
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    LOVE IT!

    No one has the power to make you feel inferior unless you give it to them.
  • Tammi623
    Tammi623 Posts: 113 Member
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    To me personally this is a great post. Loved it!!

    It may be slightly harsh to those who are not at the point where they can appreciate the tough love of it, but that’s what the therapist is for I guess lol.

    As was said earlier “Whenever I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead” pretty much the story of my life lol
  • thrld
    thrld Posts: 610 Member
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    lately when I get unwelcome 'advice' or comments, I just say, "Thank you, I'll give that the consideration it deserves" then I immediately forget whatever it was that was said.
    Because it deserved no consideration at all.
  • garnetsms
    garnetsms Posts: 10,018 Member
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    WOW! I never looked at it that way.

    I also see the point that the therapist was making, and I agree with the OP still...It was never stated not to "feel," but to not allow it to "control" you.

    The only thing I could add is; when I look back at something that was said to me that should not have been said, the problem does not lie within me, but the other person. I believe in biblical terms its stated...Take the plank out of your own eye, before worrying about the splinter in your brother's eye....(paraphrased).
  • Emilina79
    Emilina79 Posts: 28 Member
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    I'm def gonna remember this next time some ideot trys to get one over on me, putting me down to big themselves up!
  • manderson27
    manderson27 Posts: 3,510 Member
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    This is so very true, and I am a more than little in love with you OP :love:

    It is all about power. One of my favourite response to insults "Sorry you seem to have mistaken me for someone who gives a *kitten*"

    Or when they rant, wait until they run out of steam and then say "Hmmmmm? Sorry, could you run all that by me again I was thinking about <insert own subject> " I usually say Squirells :laugh:

    But then I am lucky that my parents instilled in me a sense of my own self worth that has never left me and never will. I am awesome no matter what anyone else thinks or says :smokin:
  • manderson27
    manderson27 Posts: 3,510 Member
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    LOVE IT!

    No one has the power to make you feel inferior unless you give it to them.

    Or... if you pay them by the hour while they wear a leather bustier and spank you with a ping-pong paddle.

    <Fetches tools of the trade> Who's been a naughty boy/girl then????
  • mistylovesmusic
    mistylovesmusic Posts: 147
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    How do you shush the inner fat girl from the insults? Seriously, she insulted me yesterday when I was clothes shopping for the beach and I left the store in tears!
  • kathyms13
    kathyms13 Posts: 497 Member
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    Ok, tough-love time...

    I've seen string-after-string of "whining" and "crying" about the things other people say.

    Examples:
    - "They insulted me."
    - "They hurt my feelings."
    - "They made me sad."

    Here's a few steps to help some of you guys with the crushing things other people say...

    Step 1: Stop giving a *kitten* what other people think.
    Step 2: Repeat Step 1.

    Now I have no doubt, a handful of people will be morally outraged by what I just typed.
    Please reference Steps 1 through 2.

    (I'm sure a few of you have seen me post that on other strings)

    When you get "offended," "hurt," "insulted" and "morally outraged," you've already lost the battle, because you granted the other party all the power before you even got started. When you run to your blog or forum to e-whine about how "that big mean person made you saddy-sad," they win. And you helped them to do it.


    - When you cry, they win.
    - When you're "emotionally devastated," you give them all the power.
    - When you're the "victim," you make them the "victor."

    Don't let them win.

    i love this gonna put it on my facebook.
  • manderson27
    manderson27 Posts: 3,510 Member
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    lately when I get unwelcome 'advice' or comments, I just say, "Thank you, I'll give that the consideration it deserves" then I immediately forget whatever it was that was said.
    Because it deserved no consideration at all.

    Gonna steal that one :happy:
  • gchutson
    gchutson Posts: 657
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    This is so very true, and I am a more than little in love with you OP :love:

    It is all about power. One of my favourite response to insults "Sorry you seem to have mistaken me for someone who gives a *kitten*"

    Or when they rant, wait until they run out of steam and then say "Hmmmmm? Sorry, could you run all that by me again I was thinking about <insert own subject> " I usually say Squirells :laugh:

    But then I am lucky that my parents instilled in me a sense of my own self worth that has never left me and never will. I am awesome no matter what anyone else thinks or says :smokin:

    SQUIRRRRRREL... Hmmmmm, you were saying?
  • gchutson
    gchutson Posts: 657
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    Ok, tough-love time...

    I've seen string-after-string of "whining" and "crying" about the things other people say.

    Examples:
    - "They insulted me."
    - "They hurt my feelings."
    - "They made me sad."

    Here's a few steps to help some of you guys with the crushing things other people say...

    Step 1: Stop giving a *kitten* what other people think.
    Step 2: Repeat Step 1.

    Now I have no doubt, a handful of people will be morally outraged by what I just typed.
    Please reference Steps 1 through 2.

    (I'm sure a few of you have seen me post that on other strings)

    When you get "offended," "hurt," "insulted" and "morally outraged," you've already lost the battle, because you granted the other party all the power before you even got started. When you run to your blog or forum to e-whine about how "that big mean person made you saddy-sad," they win. And you helped them to do it.

    - When you cry, they win.
    - When you're "emotionally devastated," you give them all the power.
    - When you're the "victim," you make them the "victor."

    Don't let them win.

    i love this gonna put it on my facebook.

    Just give me credit. "G.C. Hutson"
    And a burger.
  • megsi474
    megsi474 Posts: 370 Member
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    LOVE IT!

    No one has the power to make you feel inferior unless you give it to them.

    Or... if you pay them by the hour while they wear a leather bustier and spank you with a ping-pong paddle.

    Would you log that activity as cardio? I'm um... asking for a friend...
  • herstrawberri
    herstrawberri Posts: 347 Member
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    its not always easy to do so though, and low self esteem is often a reason as to why people pile on weight in the first place. In an ideal world noone would care what others think of them, but in the real world we do. Sometimes writing a thread or venting on the web is a way of dealing, processing and rejecting others thoughts of you - like my threat, it was just a rant, i was hurt by things that had been said, not going to lie - of course I'm hurt because they are echoing what I already think about myself.

    I'd love to be able to ignore everyone, but I'm not built that way, so I have to try and deal with it instead. Whilst I agree with you and your opening post, I do have to say that people shouldn't e bmade to feel rubbish about posting reference hurt feelings - this ,forum is here for motivation and support, sometimes support is just letting us vent and let go of those horrible voices in our own heads.

    And sometimes support is teaching you how to take some of the power back from those who use it to hurt you.

    LOVE
  • kgprice11
    kgprice11 Posts: 750 Member
    Options
    Ok, tough-love time...

    I've seen string-after-string of "whining" and "crying" about the things other people say.

    Examples:
    - "They insulted me."
    - "They hurt my feelings."
    - "They made me sad."

    Here's a few steps to help some of you guys with the crushing things other people say...

    Step 1: Stop giving a *kitten* what other people think.
    Step 2: Repeat Step 1.

    Now I have no doubt, a handful of people will be morally outraged by what I just typed.
    Please reference Steps 1 through 2.

    (I'm sure a few of you have seen me post that on other strings)

    When you get "offended," "hurt," "insulted" and "morally outraged," you've already lost the battle, because you granted the other party all the power before you even got started. When you run to your blog or forum to e-whine about how "that big mean person made you saddy-sad," they win. And you helped them to do it.

    - When you cry, they win.
    - When you're "emotionally devastated," you give them all the power.
    - When you're the "victim," you make them the "victor."

    Don't let them win.

    agree completely
  • allifantastical
    allifantastical Posts: 946 Member
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    Love this. I needed to hear it.
  • micheleboone
    micheleboone Posts: 47
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    - When you cry, they win.
    - When you're "emotionally devastated," you give them all the power.
    - When you're the "victim," you make them the "victor."

    GOOD ADVICE!!!
  • CoCoBean14
    CoCoBean14 Posts: 107 Member
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    I seriously love bada** comments like this. I just want to look a those whiners (myself included occasionally) and say, "Hey, let's just chug on over to mamby pamby land where maybe we can find some self-confidence for ya you jack wagon!"

    Merci gchutson.

    That was my favorite commercial of all time!! Yellow makes me sad...

    I feel like a broken record sometimes telling people to not care what other people think.. And no, it's not easy, but neither is anything else in life. Doesn't mean it's not something that NEEDS to happen.
  • manderson27
    manderson27 Posts: 3,510 Member
    Options
    This is so very true, and I am a more than little in love with you OP :love:

    It is all about power. One of my favourite response to insults "Sorry you seem to have mistaken me for someone who gives a *kitten*"

    Or when they rant, wait until they run out of steam and then say "Hmmmmm? Sorry, could you run all that by me again I was thinking about <insert own subject> " I usually say Squirells :laugh:

    But then I am lucky that my parents instilled in me a sense of my own self worth that has never left me and never will. I am awesome no matter what anyone else thinks or says :smokin:

    SQUIRRRRRREL... Hmmmmm, you were saying?

    Oh my god now you are the grammer pleece, and pikking falt with my speling I am soooooo upset,

    Bite me LOL

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