Why be a side-chick???
Just read a post that asked why people cheat... Okay most ppl suggested it was because of selfishness. But I have always wondered about the other person. The one that knows they are a side-piece. What are their motives? I cant imagine that they would want to be cheated on, so why be the other person in anothers situation?? Boggles my mind and I will never understand.. P.S.Side chicks/pieces responses welcome
* Specifically speaking of the chick or chico that knows. Not the one that is unaware she is even on "the side" (she doesnt count, her position is not intentionally malicious)
* Specifically speaking of the chick or chico that knows. Not the one that is unaware she is even on "the side" (she doesnt count, her position is not intentionally malicious)
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Replies
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we are all sluts0
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we are all sluts
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Seriously just end the thread there. That was perfect.0 -
The majority of the time the "side chick" doesn't know shes the "side chick".0
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*grabs popcorn*
:glasses:0 -
Probably lots of reasons. Some of the things I think are reasonable . . . there's a self-esteem boost in knowing that someone, who someone else finds desirable, finds you desirable - or more desirable, since they're willing to injure an existing, significant relationship. I believe there's a perverse allure for some people to induce a sig-other to cheat.0
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The majority of the time the "side chick" doesn't know shes the "side chick".
THIS IS SO TRUE. SO MANY OF THOSE MEN LIE AND CHEAT AND THE SIDE CHICK DOES NOT KNOW SHE IS A SIDE CHICK BUT FOR THE ONES WHO KNOW THEIR MAN HAS A WOMAN AT HOME, THAT'S JUST PURE PATHETIC, SOME PPL ENJOY IT.0 -
"He wine and dine, but me and you we wine and grind, and when I'm on the field keep it on the sidelines!" - Ghandi0
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guys can be a side chic too0
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I think most women DO know when they are the "other woman." They either think they can change the guy's mind or they have so little self-respect that they're willing to play second fiddle just to have something. Or they're evil and they just don't care.0
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Once upon a time, I was a side chick. Mostly because the person was convenient and I didn't want the strings attached.
Why not just find someone else to hook up with, rather than someone in a relationship?
In this case.. Because we had a great platonic relationship before hand and I knew it wouldn't try to evolve into more (or so I thought). He caught feelings for me. I left the situation.
I was much younger then.
Today.. I'd never be a "side chick" again. It leaves a bad stigma for the next guy you're with. Luckily, I've since found someone and we have the most trusting relationship ever. Neither of us could be happier. He knows about my past and understands that it IS the past and people grow as individuals.
I can't say it wasn't fun while it lasted. But, it's not something I'd ever do again. (Even if I were single)
No hate comments... Just figured I'd give my two cents.
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I think most women DO know when they are the "other woman." They either think they can change the guy's mind or they have so little self-respect that they're willing to play second fiddle just to have something. Or they're evil and they just don't care.
Just out of curiousity.
Who is more evil, the side chick (that knows she is) OR the person in the committed relationship doing the cheating?
I'm not sure why someone should be expected to respect a relationship IF one of the people in the relationship obviously have no respect for it themselves.0 -
I think most women DO know when they are the "other woman." They either think they can change the guy's mind or they have so little self-respect that they're willing to play second fiddle just to have something. Or they're evil and they just don't care.
Just out of curiousity.
Who is more evil, the side chick (that knows she is) OR the person in the committed relationship doing the cheating?
I'm not sure why someone should be expected to respect a relationship IF one of the people in the relationship obviously have no respect for it themselves.
Agreed.0 -
The majority of the time the "side chick" doesn't know shes the "side chick".
THIS IS SO TRUE. SO MANY OF THOSE MEN LIE AND CHEAT AND THE SIDE CHICK DOES NOT KNOW SHE IS A SIDE CHICK BUT FOR THE ONES WHO KNOW THEIR MAN HAS A WOMAN AT HOME, THAT'S JUST PURE PATHETIC, SOME PPL ENJOY IT.
You sound a little bittter. Like this happened to you.
Side chicks get spoiled, trips, shopping all the fun while the main chick sits at home depressed, chasing the kids, worried where her man is posting on mfp.
So that's why.
#provocativedave0 -
The majority of the time the "side chick" doesn't know shes the "side chick".
I am specifically speaking of the ones that know, not the ones that don't (they dont count, there position is not malicious, as far as they know they're just dating a guy)0 -
Good sex without the commitment or headache.0
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The majority of the time the "side chick" doesn't know shes the "side chick".
THIS IS SO TRUE. SO MANY OF THOSE MEN LIE AND CHEAT AND THE SIDE CHICK DOES NOT KNOW SHE IS A SIDE CHICK BUT FOR THE ONES WHO KNOW THEIR MAN HAS A WOMAN AT HOME, THAT'S JUST PURE PATHETIC, SOME PPL ENJOY IT.
You sound a little bittter. Like this happened to you.
Side chicks get spoiled, trips, shopping all the fun while the main chick sits at home depressed, chasing the kids, worried where her man is posting on mfp.
So that's why.
#provocativedave
You sound a bit experienced....0 -
Once upon a time, I was a side chick. Mostly because the person was convenient and I didn't want the strings attached.
Why not just find someone else to hook up with, rather than someone in a relationship?
In this case.. Because we had a great platonic relationship before hand and I knew it wouldn't try to evolve into more (or so I thought). He caught feelings for me. I left the situation.
I was much younger then.
Today.. I'd never be a "side chick" again. It leaves a bad stigma for the next guy you're with. Luckily, I've since found someone and we have the most trusting relationship ever. Neither of us could be happier. He knows about my past and understands that it IS the past and people grow as individuals.
I can't say it wasn't fun while it lasted. But, it's not something I'd ever do again. (Even if I were single)
No hate comments... Just figured I'd give my two cents.
I do appreciate your response. Everyone has a past. And I believe in change and forgiveness. i was just curious. Thanx :-)0 -
It seems to me that they get some kind of perverse sense of self worth if they can actually get the dude to cheat on the girlfriend/wife. Not necessarily true all the time, some are just evil and don't care if they break up a perfectly good relationship, but then again how can it be all that "good" to begin with if he ends up cheating? :ohwell: No one truly knows the motivations behind the actions but the person doing them..IMHO0
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I say both are equally wrong. Obviously the person in the relationship has more to lose.. I also understand the concept of how if the person cheating doesnt respect the relationship why would the "side piece". Doesnt make it right. But I guess I get it.I think most women DO know when they are the "other woman." They either think they can change the guy's mind or they have so little self-respect that they're willing to play second fiddle just to have something. Or they're evil and they just don't care.
Just out of curiousity.
Who is more evil, the side chick (that knows she is) OR the person in the committed relationship doing the cheating?
I'm not sure why someone should be expected to respect a relationship IF one of the people in the relationship obviously have no respect for it themselves.0 -
For me, it was because I didn't have to deal with any of the BS of a "relationship". I could set up an appointment for sex, fill my rx and send him to his crib. I wanted him for one thing. I got that one thing without having to deal with any of the other things. If I wanted to go on a date with someone else, I could, If I wanted to chill with the girls at the club, I could. He couldn't really veto any of it, because he was taken and understood that he couldn't ask me to live a life of solitude while he had his other life. It was a great relationship where we cared deeply about each other. We both went into it with the understanding that it had to be what it was. I knew he wasn't gonna leave his wife for me. I didn't want him to. We did love each other, but with the understanding that he also loved her. And he loved her in a much different way, and I was ok with that, because it was not what I wanted. I was into stuff in the bedroom that she wasn't, and I didn't want to clean up after him and make him sandwiches. Maybe someone, someday. But not him and not then.0
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Sex and physical affection is a great thing to have in your life and I guess some are happy to compromise for just having that. It is a fantastic thing to have. God knows its great for us physically (awesome calourie burner!), mentally and emotionally. But us as individuals need to find out if this kind of sex is satisfying all those areas in your life?
It crossed my mind why you had asked, if it was possibly due to being in this situ yourself? And please believe I lay no judgement on anyone one else, seriously! Its just a though provoking topic. I just wondered if someone was in this situ and they were thinking through things and had serious worries, then I'm here for a chat if need be ok. Thats all
Other peoples posts do raise futher questions, so dont worry if its not or if it is. Just me speaking my mind hey. Dont have to answer mate, but if anyone out there is thinking over things in their relationship, all I can say is - just be sure you and the other person are in it for similar reasons. Dont be used, dont be a user. If you are both clear about why you are in your relationship, and you make it clear to your other partner, then that does work evenly. If not, then you're getting the raw end of the deal. If you talk to the other partner about this topic and what they say goes opposite to your gut instinct, then go with your gut guys. Do what feels right to you. You are in this world for YOU, the others around you get the benefits of knowing 'part' of you. All relationships work this way.
Sex and physical contact is necessary in life. Its part of nature. I love it, its a necessary part of my life. Dont know if the term 'it' wraps it up for me though lol, kinda think its on earthquake level for physical, emotional and mental reaction status
Good on ya, to everyone who responds with an honest feedback response and are in this situ too. If its what YOU want, then what anyone else thinks about your situation, doesn't bloody well matter huh. So long as you are all putting you first
Oh, and PS to the slutty comment, thats in all of us but comes out in different ways! :blushing:
Cheers MFPers0 -
It seems to me that they get some kind of perverse sense of self worth if they can actually get the dude to cheat on the girlfriend/wife. Not necessarily true all the time, some are just evil and don't care if they break up a perfectly good relationship, but then again how can it be all that "good" to begin with if he ends up cheating? :ohwell: No one truly knows the motivations behind the actions but the person doing them..IMHO
It isn't a good relationship if he's so easily swayed. But I do wish that men and women would just end their relationships rather than hurting the person they are with like this. Getting cheated on is such a self esteem squasher.0 -
It seems to me that they get some kind of perverse sense of self worth if they can actually get the dude to cheat on the girlfriend/wife. Not necessarily true all the time, some are just evil and don't care if they break up a perfectly good relationship, but then again how can it be all that "good" to begin with if he ends up cheating? :ohwell: No one truly knows the motivations behind the actions but the person doing them..IMHO
Yeah, true. There are obviously some problems on the home front. But still why be a side piece. 2nd string. You wont meet the family we cant Hang out for real for real. Not locally. Is it really just for sex. Emotions are bound to creep in there. People are bound to find outl. right? Is that something a person would want to be remembered for? Runner up? Homewrecker?0 -
The majority of the time the "side chick" doesn't know shes the "side chick".
WRONG! Thats a cop out.0 -
we are all sluts
I'm still wondering why there are any posts past this one? I think this sums it up!!!0 -
In my opinion, I don't always put blame on a side-chick. I have on two occasions in my life been with someone who was involved in a relationship. Not saying that would ever happen again as my bf and I have a strong, honest and wonderful relationship. We both know that the other won't cheat and have no reason to.
The reason I did it: if it's just sex to me, a man's business is not mine. I don't know what his relationship is like, I don't know how he is treated at home, I don't care what his reasons are for finding sex elsewhere. I have met some down-right nasty, evil women who are abusive to their husbands and withhold intimacy like it's a toy. I honestly DON'T feel sorry for those women when their husbands stray or find someone to fill their needs when the wife won't out of spite.
Bottom line, in my opinion, is that an affair is an issue between a man and his wife. Not the other woman.0 -
The majority of the time the "side chick" doesn't know shes the "side chick".
WRONG! Thats a cop out.
Agreed. Most of the time these women know, they just choose to ignore the signs.0 -
For me, it was because I didn't have to deal with any of the BS of a "relationship". I could set up an appointment for sex, fill my rx and send him to his crib. I wanted him for one thing. I got that one thing without having to deal with any of the other things. If I wanted to go on a date with someone else, I could, If I wanted to chill with the girls at the club, I could. He couldn't really veto any of it, because he was taken and understood that he couldn't ask me to live a life of solitude while he had his other life. It was a great relationship where we cared deeply about each other. We both went into it with the understanding that it had to be what it was. I knew he wasn't gonna leave his wife for me. I didn't want him to. We did love each other, but with the understanding that he also loved her. And he loved her in a much different way, and I was ok with that, because it was not what I wanted. I was into stuff in the bedroom that she wasn't, and I didn't want to clean up after him and make him sandwiches. Maybe someone, someday. But not him and not then.
Wow!! Brutally honest. Was not expecting that at all.....Curious...How did you love him, without wanting to be with him?? How did you separate the feelings and the mutual understanding that you had set in place?0 -
It seems to me that they get some kind of perverse sense of self worth if they can actually get the dude to cheat on the girlfriend/wife. Not necessarily true all the time, some are just evil and don't care if they break up a perfectly good relationship, but then again how can it be all that "good" to begin with if he ends up cheating? :ohwell: No one truly knows the motivations behind the actions but the person doing them..IMHO
Neither of those reasons were mine. It had nothing to do with self worth at all. It was strictly a good piece of *kitten*. I am not evil. He was doing what he was doing with me and one other girl. Sometimes together. His wife knew. She didn't know our names, he didn't actually tell her he was doing it at all. She just knew. When I got into my own relationship that I chose to make a monogamous one, I broke it off with him. He kept seeing the other girl. His wife found pictures. She just handed them to him, and said, you may want to keep these somewhere safe. He was not blatant about it, he took very good care of her as well. They went on little vacations together all the time. She and I have spoken several times since then. She says she is not upset by it. She is a little happy..... because she doesn't have the pressure to do the parts she didn't want to do, but she still gets the love and admiration.0 -
In my opinion, I don't always put blame on a side-chick. I have on two occasions in my life been with someone who was involved in a relationship. Not saying that would ever happen again as my bf and I have a strong, honest and wonderful relationship. We both know that the other won't cheat and have no reason to.
The reason I did it: if it's just sex to me, a man's business is not mine. I don't know what his relationship is like, I don't know how he is treated at home, I don't care what his reasons are for finding sex elsewhere. I have met some down-right nasty, evil women who are abusive to their husbands and withhold intimacy like it's a toy. I honestly DON'T feel sorry for those women when their husbands stray or find someone to fill their needs when the wife won't out of spite.
Bottom line, in my opinion, is that an affair is an issue between a man and his wife. Not the other woman.
So basically, Being a side-chick isnt the problem. Because the marriage/relationship has nothing to do with you. As far as you're concerned you're just with the man. In your mind he is single, because that is how he has presented himself t o the world.??0
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