Don't Request Me

Very nice observations! It makes me wonder how many people are judging us in real life, not just about this site but all sorts of silly little subjects. I strive to not judge others. Interesting I have been very highly judged by some close peeps before, when looking back on it years later, it was seemingly a strange coping mechanism for jealousy. My two cents...

Yay, Cyn! I wanna be your friend!! :happy:

If I saw that I wouldn't request them. Let 'em think they have it all figured out. I'm here to help ppl from my own experience and to keep a food diary for the first time in my life to see where i can improve...they sound like "fitness snobs" and who needs them? I know what I'm doing. I lost 70lbs in the late 80s and kept it off! So I wouldn't want someone removing me b/c my computer crashed and I couldn't log in for 5 days. Forget them! There are plenty of ppl on here who want the support and accountability.

Very nice observations! It makes me wonder how many people are judging us in real life, not just about this site but all sorts of silly little subjects. I strive to not judge others. Interesting I have been very highly judged by some close peeps before, when looking back on it years later, it was seemingly a strange coping mechanism for jealousy. My two cents...

I love your profile picture!

I find it very strange how people refuse to add more friends or set so many guidelines for them.

"Here's my success story, but please don't request me as your friend"
"I give my friends 110%, and expect the same in return"
"If you eat 1200 calories a day, don't try to friend me"
"If you stop logging for 5 days, I will remove you"
"If you are not eating enough protein you will be removed"


Seriously?.... Like seriously? We are all here for the same reason. We are for the most part experiencing the same struggles, or we would not be here. No method is the right method and that is okay. Maybe you think eating more to lose weight will get you there, or 1200 calories each day. It really does not matter.

I will be your friend. I am here to lose 100 pounds and I will not judge you and I hope you will not judge me. I will not set any guidelines for our friendship or judge you for any relapses. We are in this together.

You have a great outlook! I so want to be your friend

HappyCyn, feel free to request ME as a friend (if you need one). I don't expect you to comment on everything I post and I hope you don't expect the same of me. I'm here to cheer you on but I have a life and cannot spend all my time on here commenting on everything everyday.

But seriously, I'm willing to have people as friends who have similar goals or just need the support of someone. :flowerforyou:

What a great attitude!!!! I will so be there with you. Anytime. Good Luck to all!!

I don't see what's wrong with people wanting want they want in their friends. Noone tells you in your everyday life that you HAVE to be friends with every single person that approaches you. If a weird creepy guy did that to you on the subway would you want to be his friend? Prolly not. Same idea applies on an online forum. If you find their choosiness offensive, well, then don't friend request them and carry on. I don't see the issue.

sorry, but im in the other boat,

I've just recently started denying friend requests (especially those with no message.. how the hell did you find me??)

mainly cause im not on really much anymore, and when i am, i do it to support my friends. I don't like lurkers.. whats the point of having friends if they just read your news feed, but dont look at your diary and give you suggestions?, and sometimes it just gets too many to keep supporting them all. however if there is a specific reason , if thy ywant info from a post i have written, i will gladly answer all thier questions and add them as a freind.

just my0.2

also a good point, i think it gos hand in hand though. the point of the friends thing is the social part. to talk and encourage, ask questions. or just BS. so its not really a all or none, but what works best for both parties

"If you eat 1200 calories a day, don't try to friend me"
"If you are not eating enough protein you will be removed"

I agree with these two. Unless you don't lift, are very short, or don't care about becoming skinnyfat/permanently messing up your metabolism.

I won't actually remove anybody. They can do whatever the **** they wanna do.

I do not waste time with those who are not as into this as I am.
20% of the people cause 80% of the problems.
There is nothing wrong with being selective. Think about your life.
Do you want to be friends with everybody you meet?
Of course not.

To the OP--Well said. :happy:

Please remember that we're not all here for the same reason. Yes, we should all be supportive. But some people are here to lose weight, some to get fit, and others to gain weight or handle an eating disorder.

If you had an eating disorder, you might not want to "friend" someone who regularly boasts about eating under 1200 calories a day. Similarly, if you are not planning to eat "clean" you might not want to "friend" someone who keeps suggesting vegetarian options. Some people write to all their friends on a daily basis, so they only want 5-10 friends, who understand their goals.

I don't need 1,000 "friends". I like to know people before I call them friends. You can still send messages to people who aren't friends, you can share information on posts, you can even share your diary with people who aren't friends, if you want.

I'm on another site where someone said everyone should share their picture or they weren't using the site right. And other sites where you'd get chastised if you didn't check in every day. I just saw another post here where someone was scared to share her food diary because of the criticism she saw of others.

If this is to be a supportive site, it's important to accept that not everyone's the same, and some people will chose to use this site differently -- that includes different decisions about who to chose to "friend". And if someone chooses to make that decision clear in advance so that someone's feelings won't be hurt when they don't accept a friendship request, then that's a perfectly reasonable way to use this site. If you want more friends, feel free to go to the introduction topic and ask for more friends. I'm sure you can find as many as you want.

Enjoy!

I agree! The people that delete friends that haven't logged on for a couple of days confuse me the most. If they're not logging on, they're not clogging up your feed or anything.

I cap my friends at 150...It's too hard to keep up!