Judging other people's diaries

I dislike seeing people write "Good job, except for that soda" or "You could have gone without those fries."

Who says that? If someone commented that on my diary I would LMFAO.

I used to have comments like that one my diary with my old account, so I understand where the OP is coming from. Most of the time I said screw you and moved on, but... there was one time I had an MFP pal make me cry for eating cake.

Do you feel bad about your lunch today? Could you have made a better choice? Is that what you think your friends might think? Would you put off eating even when you're hungry if you were to log a chicken salad with a yogurt instead? Just playing devils advocate with you.

On the other hand, a calorie is a calorie. If you are eating at a deficit, then you're still ahead of the game.

Perfect point! Helps me make better choices everyday. I'm a fast food'er also but WE have to find alternatives, its hard it know.
Like someone else noted if you are see progress no worries, if not then maybe a change should be made.

One last note - the truth can hurt but I personally don't like being lied to. Just cause someone point out an alternative does not mean they are judging you or your diet.

Keep and open mind, try not to let everything be personal.

Keep working at it, we in this fight together.

:-)

instead of looking at it like negative criticism look at it as positive feed back and then do with it what you like.

Like Button.

Could not have said it better.

I once saw where someone was trying to alert authorities over an eating disorder they thought someone else had. REDICULOUSNESS....this is why mine is private. I have a hard time eating all my calories most of the time, but I come as close as I can. I'm definitely not starving or I wouldn't be here..lol. I am 5'4" and weigh 185, I don't think that screams anorexia, but I know when I am hungry and when I am not better than anyone and same goes for everyone here. Each person knows their body better than anybody else. But because of rediculousness I am also afraid to make mine public. I don't want the 'diet police' showing up at my door...lmao:laugh:

How do i make sure my diary is open? I'm pretty new here and i just want to make sure it is. Or maybe it's already open? I'm just not sure


Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter

Go to MyHome click on Setting in the menu below and then click on Diary Settings. At the bottom you can select whether you want it viewable by everyone on MFP, only your friends, keep it totally private or viewable by a password.

I'm a firm believer of everything in moderation. You can have your fries and burgers as long as you account for it and you are honest about it. If my friends leave their diaries open for me to see I take that as a sign of honesty and trust. I comment when I see something I like myself and encourage them but I don't go off on them because they had a burger for lunch. It's their body, their choices.
No one can be perfect all of the time and no one will be able to maintain healthy choices 100% either. We all make mistakes and as long as you are honest with yourself first about what you are putting into your body you won't need anyone else to point out where you are going wrong/right.

"Do you feel bad about your lunch today? Could you have made a better choice? Is that what you think your friends might think? Would you put off eating even when you're hungry if you were to log a chicken salad with a yogurt instead? Just playing devils advocate with you."

Lastly, the above quote. Learn from your choices and see how you can curve this in the future. You could also simply ask your friends..hey I was having a bad day today and I reached for this instead of something healthier etc..any advice on how to cope? I am sure a lot of your friends would be willing to help out as much as possible. There are many people who will lose weight on bad choices-however will they be able to maintain after the weight comes off? That is the question. Life style changes is the key, in my opinion, and making the better choice now and learning from it, is what will define successful weight loss maintenance.

I think for me it depends whether the diary comment is on a wall or a thread.

Sometimes people ask for advice on a thread and have their diary open, so it's logical for people to take a look and make suggestions. Sometimes folk get upset when someone suggests that eating 600 cals isn't great, or that half your calories shouldn't come from cake and alcohol... but I'm sorry it's an open forum and if you ask a question, you may get to hear responses of which a proportion you may not like to hear.

In terms of comments on my wall, it's about accountability, and I don't mind someone saying "hey less carbs, more protein" etc. It's how it's said. I've never had anyone be rude.

What I don't like is this blind support to anything people do. A diary full of rubbish and people posting "well done WTG!!"... :huh:

That's not helpful.

If I see friends diaries that are inspiring I say so. If I see stuff that makes me shake my head, then I keep my mouth shut... unless I know someone very well and may send a PM.

^^This.

That said, if you're not comfortable with anything that may be written on your wall - why not just keep your diary closed? I have absolutely no issue with anyone pulling me up on things - in actual fact I welcome the fact that somebody cares enough to invest their time and try to point me in a better direction. Nobody I've come across has been rude, but then again I've got a good group of supportive friends on here with similar health and fitness goals to myself.

If you're worrying about what people will say about your food diary, for me that points to a bit of insecurity on your part on what you're eating... and it's unfair to take those insecurities out on other people.

Live and let live I say... it's only a food diary after all

Edit: the ^^This was for Kara's comment!

I hav great pals...I want them to tell me anything is off or less than especially if they c something inconsistent with me. Eg bar after bar of chocolate - but I also write food notes to say yep I was struggling etc so they know I know. I'd send message asking if someone ok just to give them the opportunity to say they r having difficulty if they want. Whether or not I c someones diary is up to them and I respect that. I also think it says something else when you open it too...I like mine open although at beginning I didn't need to. With pals I try harder and I feel responsible. But if I ever felt that I needed to hide my food choices cos people would b shocked then I would close it rather than fudge it. MFP is ultimately my weapon of choice on this journey and if I start cheating on it to please other people then it becomes useless to me. Cos ultimately this journey is really about one person ...for each of us.

It depends. I don't usually comment on others diaries, BUT.....


one of those on my friends list had completed her diary last week, and was under her goal, and so there was the usual chorus of "well done!" "WTG!" etc etc.

I looked at her diary and she'd eaten about 800 calories. This was a typical day, having looked back over a few days.

I asked the question - any particular reason the calories were so low?

She didn't reply, just deleted me as a friend. And that's OK, its her choice, and if she can't handle concern from her friends then maybe having a private diary would be better.