Don't Request Me

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  • amyableamy
    amyableamy Posts: 4
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    Oh wow! You are really missing out , cause I'm hot , and ripped but I'm too old for you . Your loss.
  • flowerlose53
    flowerlose53 Posts: 3
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    Great! I am requesting you as a friend! Have a great day!
  • rachelelizabeth88
    rachelelizabeth88 Posts: 73 Member
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    I love what you said! I've had a few friends delete me (people who I used to talk to all the time) and it hurt because I'd read this type of disclaimer or rules... I wanna be your friend! haha
  • jbrown3344
    jbrown3344 Posts: 1 Member
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    Very nicely said. I thought this was a community of people working to meet their fitness goals no matter what they are.
  • breakingthecyclept2
    breakingthecyclept2 Posts: 29
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    There is nothing wrong with being selective. Think about your life.
    Do you want to be friends with everybody you meet?
    Of course not.

    THIS
  • chachita7
    chachita7 Posts: 996 Member
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    I think that your success will come that much faster and easier from surrounding yourself with like minded people... I look at peeps profiles, diaries, etc before I accept an invite - I want to know that I can encourage them and they can encourage me
  • breakingthecyclept2
    breakingthecyclept2 Posts: 29
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    i'm a bad MFP friend....if some one never comments on my updates i delete them. if they dont log in for a week, i delete them. (unless its some one who is usually very supportive or that i know in real life)

    Same here, I dont need 'friends' on MFP. I need people who are just as positive and inspirational to me as I am to them.

    But as someone stated, to each his own.
  • TinkrBelz
    TinkrBelz Posts: 888 Member
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    I had that I accepted female FR only and they had to have a little note.

    Now, that I have over 200 friends, it is just too hard for me to give my friends what they need from me. So, I do not accept anymore FR, BUT, I do say that anyone can PM me and ask a question. And my diary is public so people can see my good and bad days. I am deleting girls that do not log in for over 2 weeks. Not because I am angry with them, but I need to make my list a little smaller.

    I think people have guidelines for their FR just to keep their FL a manageable number. And I think that is OK. Some people accept all FR and others have guidelines, I think both are fine. Do what is best for you!
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    I find it very strange how people refuse to add more friends or set so many guidelines for them.

    Wait until you're here a bit longer and you might change your tune a little. :smile:

    I accept pretty much everyone unless they're spamming or a creeper. I'll delete if they're creepy, spamming or haven't logged in for several weeks. But I can't keep up with everyone and don't even try.

    I like to be helpful and encouraging. It's in my nature. I'm under no delusion that I have it all figured out. I figured out what worked for ME, but there's no saying that will work for anyone else or even that it will continue to work for me as time goes on. And it can get overwhelming when people are asking you for advice, because the real answer IS as simple and at the same time complicated as "figure out what works for you," but it seems like such a cop-out answer.

    So honestly, I'd prefer friends who appreciate my personality over people who think I'm an inspiration. I don't think I've accomplished anything inspiring.
  • Goal_Seeker_1988
    Goal_Seeker_1988 Posts: 1,619 Member
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    For me I like to interact with friends and keep my list managable. I don't mind adding new friends as long as they interact with me. Also if ppl don't log in for a month or longer I delete them bc I doubt they will ever return. I am also not a hoarder, I don't collect friends and I don't support ppl with eating disorders unless they are recovering and helping themselves.
  • ToniSG
    ToniSG Posts: 12
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    Didn't mean to repost your post! Girl, Ive read comments like that too and thought...WOW some folks are just plain rude!

    Not everyone is alike nor are their bodies.There could be a very reasonable explaination as to why a person has not logged in for several days-sickness, out of town, no access to internet and so on.
    Also, why would some post their success stories and then tell people not to friend them? That's crazy!?!? We are all here for the same purpose to lose weight and to be an inspiration to to others. And If eating 1200 calories works for you, so be it! We do whatever it takes and it that's their choice of weight loss...who cares? What works for one may not work for others. But that's their choice.

    I totally agree and I wouldn't want people with this kind of attitude being an inspiration to me-Way to negative!!
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    I'm not rude. I'm just selective. :wink: :tongue: :happy:
  • cminor5
    cminor5 Posts: 11
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    I am fairly new to this too, with only about 2 months in. I have seen and felt the same exact thing and have wondered but never posted anything, so I commend you for bringing this up for discussion. I agree that we are all here for the same thing and everyone is at a different point within their Journey. I just feel that if I send someone a message with a compliment, then request to be their Friend, with an explination and I get denied, than I really didn't want to be their Friend. I don't have many Friends and that's ok, I would rather have fewer comitted Friends than to have an overload and not have many people here motivating me. I give feedback to each and everyone of my Friends. There may be days that I cannot comment on every post but I do my best to help support them. I even review their Diary and comment on their accomplishments and give advice, when I feel they need it.

    I aso want to say now that I have read comments from some of the other people on the opposite side and I understand where some of them are coming and their reasons and that's ok, if they don't want to be Friends, I will not get offended but will continue on my path and meeting new Friends that are here to support me and I will do the same for them.

    I would love to have you as a Friend. I wish you the best of luck and I thank you for commenting on this important issue.
  • cminor5
    cminor5 Posts: 11
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    Very well said!
  • xHelloQuincyx
    xHelloQuincyx Posts: 884 Member
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    MFP told me to only eat 1200 a day :c

    if mfp told you to jump off a bridge, would you do that too! Only joking :p
  • KatKatatrophic
    KatKatatrophic Posts: 448 Member
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    I agree with this. Although I don't like pro-Ana or pro-Mia people. ( People who encourage an ED onto other people ) Because it's not right...and since I'm bisexual, people seem to not like that so I have to write that on my profile too. But some of the things people say are ridiculous.
  • amychantel
    amychantel Posts: 52 Member
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    Hi there. I'm from Dallas too. Just added you as a friend!
    Wow!! Un-freaking-believable!!
    I am 2-days into this and right now, I feel like I am in this by myself (no support from friends and family) so I would really love some friends. I would love to request a few but I don't want to be "that girl" on this website. Any suggestions? By the way, I'm Ms. Quida from Texas...Glad to make your acquaintance!!
  • amivox
    amivox Posts: 441 Member
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    I don't care if someone NETS 1200 calories, I do care if they aren't eating enough to NET that amount, and I delete people who consistently eat low. I suffered from an eating disorder, so that kind of stuff really gets to me, so for my personal happiness, I have to defriend them because if I don't, I waste my time trying to help them and then get depressed when they keep eating less and less. I just deleted a girl because she wrote "Dropping 200 calories from my intake and I usually only eat 800, lets see how this goes." I can't, for my own sanity, deal with that anymore. I tried to be open to people and make them see that recovery is possible and that you can eat and be healthy and still lose weight, but its like I am talking to a wall and it becomes very disheartening. I only delete other people if they have been inactive for like a month.
  • nerdyandilikeit
    nerdyandilikeit Posts: 2,185 Member
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    We are all here for the same reason.

    I really hate when people say this. There's plenty of people who will be your friend, why get bent out of shape about the few who are all set? Do you expect every stranger you meet on the street to be your friend? That would be weird.
  • impyimpyaj
    impyimpyaj Posts: 1,073 Member
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    We are all here for the same reason.

    I really hate when people say this. There's plenty of people who will be your friend, why get bent out of shape about the few who are all set? Do you expect every stranger you meet on the street to be your friend? That would be weird.

    Especially since we're NOT all here for the same reason. Some are here to lose a lot of weight. Some want to lose a little. Some want to maintain, but get more muscular. Some want to gain weight. Some want to monitor a certain nutrient under the guidance of their doctor. Some want to restrict their calories because they have an ED. Some want to eat lots of calories to overcome an ED. Some just want to keep track of their exercise because they're trying to get more fit. And there are lots of other reasons.

    So no, we're not all here for the same reason. And even if we were, as bronwenhilary said, we don't have to be friends with everyone on the planet who wants the same things. That *would* be weird.

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