Is it ok for a woman..........

I dont know what she means when she says whatever, She states I let you go to the VFW club because you like it, I let you leave every other weekend to play D and D with the guys and she says since she is being supportive of those things I should nt have a problem with who she talks to on the phone because she is a home body and that it should be ok whomever she talks to on the phone.

Sounds like she is trying to rationalize some possibly unacceptable behavior. It's cool that you have freedom to do things you enjoy. My husband and I have such out of sinc schedules that the two of us often do things without each other and we have no problem with it, but if he was talking to some lady that often or visa versa, there would definitely be discussion about it.

When you are gone on your D and D weekends, where is she and what is she doing and with who??

If you let her know how uncomfortable you are with the situation and she dismisses your feelings you have every right to be upset. You can't tell her who she can and cannot be friends with but maybe you can put some boundaries on her "chat time" with her friend. Like maybe ask her if she would not talk to him after a certain time of night.

well ask her how she would feel if it was the other way around, if you are missing spending time with her because she spends hours everyday on the phone tell her im sure she will be happy you want to do things with her ............ Also if she is being sneak about it and not telling you about things when you ask or hiding her phone not letting you see the texts or walking out of the room ect when shes talking to him its not on!

I have several close straight male friends with whom I speak on the phone for long periods of time, and text late at night/early in the morning, should the need arise. I've known them all for a decade or more, have no physical interest and no romantic history with them, but they are wonderful friends who have been there for me in good times and bad. Two of them I view as my non-genetic brothers, the other as a very close friend, akin to my closest female friends. I'm not married, but I wouldn't expect to stop speaking to them simply because I was.

I think the thing you have to ask yourself is whether or not your wife is being at all secretive about talking to him? If she's trying to hide the fact, then maybe you have a problem. If she's being open about it, then chances are, she's just talking to a friend and you have nothing to worry about. If the time on the phone has picked up recently, is this friend of hers perhaps going through a difficult time and she is being supportive? Unless you have reason to believe otherwise - secretive behaviour or a history of cheating, for example - I would take your wife at her word when she says they're just friends.

I do have a question though about your wife telling you not to speak to your female friends. Are these genuine platonic female friends,or exes/once-upon-a-time flings? If the former, then you perhaps have a good platform to use when you talk to your wife about her conversations with her male friends - "You know you asked me not to talk to zyx... Why was that? Did it make you uncomfortable/insecure? That's how I feel about your talking to xyz..."

Finally, if she's a homebody and you're off playing D&D a few nights a week and at weekends, you need to make a special effort to do things together on the nights/weekends when you are at home. Watch a film together, make a meal together or order in and spend specific time together as a couple in the environment she likes - don't just let every time you're at home together be part of the normal evening routine, with her doing her thing and you doing yours. Quite apart from the health of your relationship, if you're taking up her time, he won't be!

Something seems horribly wrong here. Women don't confide in other men when they are married. I don't even spend 3 hours on the phone with my best friend and she's female with lots in common with me. I don't want to say she's having an affair but this type of behavior certainly leads up to it. I know this from experience. I'd try and stop it now before it's too late. Just be careful how you approach it.

After further reading, I see she's known him for 14 years... I would be more concerned if this was a new relationship. The question I would have is, have they taken up talking more often and every day... Good luck!

I must be straight forward and honest, ''The married lady is up to no good!"

Depends on the trust dude.
I have good friends both male and female and i think if im able to have a three hour talk with my female friends on the phone whenever i want then i should be able to do the same with my male friends. If you're good friends, you can chat for *enter appropriate country* about anything and everything lol.
If the same rules dont apply to you if you want to talk to a female friend for over an hour or three lol then obviously theres something to worry about.
People should be less picky and fussy about whos doing what behind eachothers back and be in a stable relationship...which is no way a dig at your or the missus, its just a general comment.
If you're worried, talk to her, and if she goes off on one, ask why.
Dinnae jusge a book by its cover, people

Also...Adults playing Dungeons and Dragons is the mutts nuts and everyone who judges or discriminates should be sorely ashamed of themselves!!!!!!!!! We arent Sheeple. >:(

xx

It is not right at all and she needs to stop! You have said she told you that you can't talk to your old gal friends but she can talk to an old guy friend? That's seems like a one sided deal to me. She shouldn't be doing this if she's married.

It doesn't make any difference what the internet thinks is OK. If 100% of commenters here say it's wrong, what will that prove? What matters is that it's not OK with you, and what her reaction to that is. Either she accepts that, she rejects it, or you compromise. If she rejects it, you have to decide what that means about the future of the relationship.

There aren't rules for relationships. You have to decide them between the two of you.

Wait wait wait...she's been friends with him for 14 years? Knock it off dude...if she hasn't boned him yet she's not going to now.

And about your "gal friends"....how many of them have you known for 14 years? I'll tell you right now I would never stop talking to someone I've known that long just because my wife said so. I have female friends I've known for that long. There's also no question about my intention with them. The only person I want anything beyond friendship with is my wife and she knows it.

^^^^THIS! A million times! I was beginning to wonder if I was the only person who would feel this way. Honestly, this doesn't strike me as being about her talking to a guy for 3 hours as opposed to you not trusting her and looking for a reason to justify that feeling. Has she given you any reason not to trust her? A phone conversation doesn't justify not trusting her unless you overhear something that shouldn't be going on, IMHO. Also, as a married woman, I would NEVER tell my husband who he could and could not talk to or be friends with. If I didn't care for someone, regardless of gendor, I'd tell him but he can be friends with and talk to whomever he wishes simply because I trust him.

No, theres something very off about that.

Agreed

Assuming this is your wife you're talking about, in this situation I would probably be very suspicious and/or ticked off. It depends what kind of boundaries you're comfortable with.

No not okay at all! And for her to say you can do whatever you want is like telling you i do whatever i want so go on.

Wow..GOOD Luck....

I have sat her down and she has said they are good friends and nothing more and they have been friends for 14 years. She has told me I can not talk to my old gal friends and she has said that if they say anything innappropriate she will not talk to him anymore so can I trust what she is saying. I have been through this before with exs and it never ends up right at all. Thanks for the twentysided comment LOL that is hilarious.

Go with your gut feeling. Kinda sounds like she has her set of rules, and you have yours.....