How long were you with your SO before you got engaged?

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  • Wuggums
    Wuggums Posts: 339 Member
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    I don't put too much stock in marriage - it is a piece of paper given to you by the government approving your relationship. I don't need someone to approve my relationship and I've gotten used to the "why aren't you two married" comments. I'm not a religious person, so that doesn't come into play. Besides, there was always an expectation in my family that marriage = kids and my Sweetie and I decided early on that we would not be having children. So, as of July 1st we will have been together for 19 years and we're not engaged yet! Although we've talked about marriage recently simply so I can add him to my health insurance. My employer doesn't offer coverage to "domestic partners" and we're not getting any younger.
  • schnugglebug
    schnugglebug Posts: 333 Member
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    we were a long distance relationship for almost 2 years... then I moved up to where he lives (2.5 hours away)

    we were engaged on our 1 year anniversary, now getting married in October... been together 2.5 years.
  • brewface811
    brewface811 Posts: 106
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    4 years - met when we were 17. If you really want to get married; why don't you take the bold step and ask him instead

    I just feel like it is traditional for the guy to ask the girl. I know that I should do what feels right and knowing my boyfriend he would probably feel pressured to say yes... :/ so I'll sit and wait.
  • jennifer52484
    jennifer52484 Posts: 888 Member
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    My Husband and I have been together since we were 14.. We got engaged at 21 years old and married at 26. Don't rush the issue.
  • RedRunner82
    RedRunner82 Posts: 29
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    Dated for 6 years (about 3 of which were long distance, 1 living together), engaged for a little over a year before our wedding. I was 29 and he was almost 28 when we got married. Our one-year anniversary is in September.

    I'd sit him down. I got to your point too - everyone else is getting engaged, when's it gonna be our turn? It was especially hard since we had been together for much longer than other couples around us who were getting engaged. It's tricky to deal with those feelings without putting pressure on your guy. I had a sad moment in spring 2010 and finally I asked, "So what are YOU thinking?" And he said "I was thinking sometime this summer" and that just took a huge weight off me. Just knowing he had some sort of plan and some sense of timing was a relief, and it didn't ruin the surprise at all when he did actually propose! You guys should think about sitting down and setting some goals - we've saved X amount of money, here's when we want to buy a house, so maybe we should be engaged in this window of time. Then you're both on the same page.
  • luvmy2babies
    luvmy2babies Posts: 94 Member
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    We were together 6 years before we got engaged.
  • SmallMimi
    SmallMimi Posts: 541 Member
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    3 Months.
    I first met Jen when she was 13 - a geeky little straight A girl with a smokin' hot body, and I was the baddest dude around.
    Also 13 by the way:bigsmile:
    Anyway, she hated me, my criminality and violent nature, but I loved her even though she was out of reach.
    And then something happened to break her resolve. I met her at a teen swimming party and caught her checking me out. :devil: GOTCHA!
    2 weeks later, she was MINE!
    I went out and bought a ring like any well intentioned guy in love.
    People laughed. Nobody took us very seriously.
    We were married, and my own father said to me as we were getting dressed for the wedding
    "I know your first wife. I wonder who the next will be"
    In other words, we were doomed to failure.
    That was 29 years ago. We've had 5 kids and wonderful life with challenges like any relationship.
    To me she is still that geeky girl I wanted so badly at age 13, and I love her today just as much.
    I am the least deserving of such a woman, and if there is really a God in heaven, I thank Him for blessing me so richly in this life.
    All Is Possible:heart:


    Okay, where is the "Like" button when you need one! :happy:
  • EvelynForsyth
    EvelynForsyth Posts: 272 Member
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    I have been with my boyfriend for four years, we were both at university together...he is now in the military and he has mentioned putting a ring on it (Beyonce style! Hope that doesn't sound rude...) when he has finished his training which is approx. 40 weeks away. *sigh* But i dont think i would to marry him while he is in training and i can only see him every other weekend.
    Who knows.
    Just give it time, i'm 23 and whilst my friends around me are buying houses, getting married (got a wedding in 6 weeks actually) and getting puppies i am house sharing with people i dont know, visiting my parents on the wknd and preparing to move back in with them in september.
    Life goes in different directions sometimes but if you go together then things will work out ok.
    :flowerforyou:
  • tkb1985
    tkb1985 Posts: 146 Member
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    I've been with my other half for 4 and a half years now, and we've been engaged for a month! Don't worry about it! I was constantly wishing for it to happen, and it made my life miserable... Now I couldn't be happier. I think men just have to come to things in their own time.
    We've lived together for about 2 years, just as BF & GF, and really, it was the best thing for us to do. We know each other so much better for it, and now I *really* know the man I'm marrying, cute little habbits and all! :wink:

    We're getting married in August next year. x :flowerforyou: We'll be 27 (me) and 28 (him) in July.
  • brewface811
    brewface811 Posts: 106
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    I don't put too much stock in marriage - it is a piece of paper given to you by the government approving your relationship. I don't need someone to approve my relationship and I've gotten used to the "why aren't you two married" comments. I'm not a religious person, so that doesn't come into play. Besides, there was always an expectation in my family that marriage = kids and my Sweetie and I decided early on that we would not be having children. So, as of July 1st we will have been together for 19 years and we're not engaged yet! Although we've talked about marriage recently simply so I can add him to my health insurance. My employer doesn't offer coverage to "domestic partners" and we're not getting any younger.

    I appreciate this opinion also, and understand where you are coming from. I am not religious either and when I was younger I thought the idea of marriage was ridiculous, but now that I am with my boyfriend/best friend the idea of marriage just seems natural. I know we can still have a committed relationship without marriage, but it means so much more to me than just a piece of paper.
  • zenchild
    zenchild Posts: 680 Member
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    We were together 15 months when we got engaged. 4 and a half years when we got married. I was 20 and he was 24 when we started dating. We got engaged at Christmas and we were going to get married the following June but after we started planning we realized how expensive it is. We postponed and postponed so we could save more. One day I just looked at him and said, "Do you want to just get married?" And on Valentine's Day we went to the courthouse with our families and got married. Then we took out families out to a nice restaurant and had a fantastic meal (start the meal with 2 bottles of Dom Perignon and the server will be fantastic because she know's there's an automatic 18% gratuity for a large party). I still got to go dress shopping with my mom and my sisters (black dress I can wear again) and at the end of the day, the result was the same. We were married. And I went into this wanting a marriage, not a wedding.
    And guys having all the power? I think not. I proposed. I even gave him a ring.
  • jackibailey
    jackibailey Posts: 206 Member
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    We dated for three months! We've been married for twenty years now! He always says that if I would have dated him longer, I would have dumped him!
  • shendras
    shendras Posts: 46 Member
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    6 months, but then we didn't get married for another 2 years.
  • Cupcakehippiemommy
    Cupcakehippiemommy Posts: 457 Member
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    Engaged 6 months after we met then married 1-1/2 years later and have been married 5 wonderful and happy years :) Personally did NOT believe in marriage or wanted to get married for that matter...but he changed my mind <3
  • newhabit
    newhabit Posts: 426 Member
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    we met at 20 and 21 (i was older) got married at 24 (both were 24 but i was almost 25)... so we were in college so we wanted to wait until we were out of college. we got engaged at 23. so i'd say about 2.5 years before we got engaged but 3.5 before we started dating and the wedding.
  • khrys1
    khrys1 Posts: 444 Member
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    2 1/2 years, and got married when we'd been dating 3 1/2 years. I was 31 when we got married, so didn't want to wait much longer! Good luck!
  • cjhart81
    cjhart81 Posts: 200 Member
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    6 n half years.. I gave up thinking it was ever gona happen.. I had made loads of comments to him saying it had better happen soon.. when I stopped nagging it happened :D
  • McLifterPants
    McLifterPants Posts: 457 Member
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    My guy and I moved in after 6 months together, and got engaged a year after that, so 18 months total. We were both older than you guys and had dated a lot though, so when we met someone that finally fit, we just decided to go for it!
  • semeyer
    semeyer Posts: 282 Member
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    After reading all these posts and seeing the variety of answers, I think you know by now there is no magic number of when this happens. When he's ready to ask, he will. :drinker:
  • brewface811
    brewface811 Posts: 106
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    I love all these cute stories on the thread :) Thanks for the opinions everyone! I can definitely hold out longer and don't feel the need to pressure him in to anything. We've had conversations about it and we know what we both want for the most part. We'll see what happens. For now we are just enjoying planning for our house (I just bought my towels this week) and boating every weekend.

    I'm just a little bit impatient, which is odd because I didn't even consider engagement until about 2 years ago then it hit me that I wanted to be married.

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