Judging other people's diaries

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  • jboccio90
    jboccio90 Posts: 644 Member
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    I keep mine private because I do not want to hear other people opinion on what I eat. I dont view this as a diet, this is just life so chips, cookies, cake and fast food will happen.
  • guardian419
    guardian419 Posts: 391 Member
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    Like a few of my friends, I 'judge' diaries of the people who say they need that kind of encouragement and support. If you say you need help eating better, I'll point out the stuff that you shouldn't have. If that hasn't been established, I typically just play cheerleader (horrible mental image) and move on with my life.

    The way I look at things on here is like this: If you don't like the comments, don't let them make them. Either ask them (nicely) to stop, don't be their 'friend', or if you're that worried about it, make your diary private.
  • blackbeauty2011
    blackbeauty2011 Posts: 17 Member
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    Good morning!!

    I just love that you posted about this topic. I just made my diary public this week for that same reason, so I am so glad I'm not the only one...lol. It is so important not to judge others, because who are we really to cast judgement on anyone? Personally, I will not go through this lifetime without enjoying a piece of chocolate again or hamburger, etc...it can be done, just in moderation. I don't think people should make negative comments because that is not what this site is about. It is to build a support system and team, not bring people down. Good for you for bringing this topic out!!
  • themommie
    themommie Posts: 5,023 Member
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    I have had my diary public ever since I joined MFP almost 2 yrs ago and have never had any negative comments about what I eat. But having it public helps to keep me accountable. Most people on here are really encouraging and motivating, but like in life you are going to run into a few that are not
  • lizzybethclaire
    lizzybethclaire Posts: 849 Member
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    I only have my diary open to "friends only." It is hilarious. you can tell I am stressed by how many bowls of cocoa pebbles or colossal crunch berries I eat. You can tell it's a lazy day when most of my calories come from breakfast food. I always try though. Does making your diary public mean that somebody could look at it on a google search or does it just mean that only MFP members could see it?
  • tajmel
    tajmel Posts: 401 Member
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    I'm embarrassed that my ideals about food don't match the way I eat, especially when I'm here on the forums giving advice! It's mostly an anxiety thing... maybe I should open my diary, haha. We are all flawed. In RL I prefer forthright people, and none of my friends have any problem commenting on what I eat. Yeah it's a little annoying when my super fit best friend questions my serving size or decision to have dessert... but, well, he's super fit, and I'm not. So I kind of appreciate it.
  • ItsMeRebekah
    ItsMeRebekah Posts: 910 Member
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    ppffft id just hit delete if that happened!
  • Dayna154
    Dayna154 Posts: 910 Member
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    I don’t take those kinds of comments as negative, I take them as my friends doing exactly as I have asked.. Keeping me on tract. I came here for the mutual support offered, and to help me stay on tract. I have some who are hard core, I have some who have overcome some great obstacles to reach their goals, some just to get started. I have some who are just getting started. I have so much respect for each and every one and I don’t take those kinds of comments as negative, I take them as my friends doing exactly as I have asked.. Keeping me on tract. I came here for the mutual support offered, and to help me stay on tract.
    I gained without expecting to a great bunch of friends ,they will be a part of the reason I complete my goals and see myself as a healthier person.
    It’s not meant as a personal attack, it’s a hey are you still on tract...
    I’m thankful for it.
  • degan2011
    degan2011 Posts: 316 Member
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    Well, when someone says "I'm not losing weight, what am I doing wrong", and I look at their diary and see McDonald's and KFC and ice cream all over the place, I don't feel out of line suggesting that maybe some changes would help. However, unsolicited advice and opinions are never ok.

    ^this^

    I only comment when asked... Sometimes I want to comment on folks who are constantly under their calorie goal and everyone is cheering and I look only to see they are netting 1000 cals or less... but instead I just don't comment at all. I can't in good concience encourage under eating and they don't want my advise... so instead I encourage when they log in consistently etc.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    My friends are awesome. I never see comments like the OP said.
  • jsygurl
    jsygurl Posts: 28 Member
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    I find it a bit weird that people would want to see my diary - I have no interest in seeing anyone elses - what else are you going to do but nose or judge? And I am certainly not going to judge for so many reasons -

    1. I'm not a nutritionist, so don't have enough knowledge to comment.

    2. Even if I was a nutritionalist, a good nutritionalist deals with an individual on an individual basis, so I would have to know the individual - I'm quite unlikely to know all the factors in a person's diet journey even if I know them well, so even more definitely don't have enough information to comment.

    So the only reason for looking at a diary is to nose. And I might see something to make me feel that i was failing, and knock my tremulous journey to fitness. Besides, I have quite enough to take on dealing with my own food choices to be worrying about someone elses!
  • Ladyzumba
    Ladyzumba Posts: 217 Member
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    I totally agree. That is why my diary is private. You don't need to see what I eat,
    to see my progress. I think it's called a DIARY for a reason.
    And if you wanna know how I've been sucsessful ask and I'll tell you.
    What works for some may not work for others. Including what
    people eat daily.
  • deaddawn
    deaddawn Posts: 42 Member
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    I don't have any Zealots as friends. If I ask for advice I know I'll get it, though. Just knowing that friends can look and think to themselves "Girl you did not just eat that" without actually saying anything is enough for me.
  • Alluring72
    Alluring72 Posts: 50 Member
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    I am new to mfp and need to check my diary settings - my own guilt is all I need - I write it all down - the good, the bad, and the alcohol (yes, I leave calories for an empty calorie drink at the end of the day). The diary tells you right there on the screen how you are doing, if anyone else chimed in with anything but great receipe ideas - I'd flame them - live and let live. We are all trying our best here!
  • DonniesGirl69
    DonniesGirl69 Posts: 644 Member
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    Personally, I would welcome people calling me out for a candy bar or a soda on my log..........it would motivate me to not eat that very often. I'm thinking most people who comment like that aren't trying to be judgemental, only trying to support and motivate which is sort of the whole point of the site, right?

    But I can see others not liking that and if that's the case, just keep your diary private. No harm, no foul. In the end, you're really only accountable to yourself anyway. :)
  • MFPBrandy
    MFPBrandy Posts: 564 Member
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    Wow -- I had no idea people did that. Probably because it never even occured to me to make my food log public, or to go look at anyone else's. They're probably INTENDING to be helpful, because perhaps that's what would work for and motivate them, but you're right, they don't know you, where you are, where you came from, and what drives you. I say blow 'em off and/or block them (if that's an option). And keep on truckin'. :-)
  • TheBraveryLover
    TheBraveryLover Posts: 1,217 Member
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    Most of my friends are fine when it comes to responding to my diary. I had one friend who read my intake, and told me "good job, but include more fruits and veggies!". Um, no. I do what I want to do. I have my diary open for friends so they can get ideas (my "diet" is high protein and I eat two 700-800 cal meals a day); not for suggestions. I prefer to have friends who think like me and aren't "health" nazis.

    So I deleted her.
  • tigerlily8045
    tigerlily8045 Posts: 415 Member
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    I recently asked a friend what sort of diet or fitness goal he was going for since he closed out his diary with over 800 calories left and it was too early in the day..He replied back it was the App on phone, Butt dialing diet..LOL OPPS
  • Amy_B
    Amy_B Posts: 2,323 Member
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    No one has ever been negative on mine, but I kind of appreciate the awkwardness of people seeing my bad eating habits. Sometimes it keeps me from doing some terrible stuff just so people won't see it and I won't have to lie about it, LOL...
    This is exactly one of the theories I used while working on losing 100 pounds. I post my food journal on public message boards (didn't calorie count). I contribute this to part of my success.
  • woogy1956
    woogy1956 Posts: 19 Member
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    I understand what you are saying but I am of a different opinion. A few days ago I opened my diary and asked for input. I was not upset by any comments because I am trying to learn how to eat right and lose weight. I can take their advice or leave it but I am struggling to get this weight off and it would be silly of me not to consider what healthy people who have accomplished their goals have to say... I consider it valuable information.

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