cruel people

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  • FatStoatLondon
    FatStoatLondon Posts: 197 Member
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    -Husband used to call me a fat lazy b*t*h and that I'm good for nothing. I wasn't worth anything. He only married me because of my son. That if I sat down on a chair I would break it. Now a days he doesn't call me fat. He does complain that guys check me out to much. The b*t*h calling, not worth anything, good for nothing, lazy and more has not stopped. I really think he has some mental disorder because he doesn't act like this all the time. I used to cry all the time when he said something hurtful and now it's like I've become immune to his cruel words.

    Hun, you need to get rid of this guy ..

    Let her make her own decisions unless you know this person personally...

    Please explain the circumstances under which his behaviour is acceptable! I say, dump the *kitten*!
  • thebaconbeast
    thebaconbeast Posts: 560 Member
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    -Husband used to call me a fat lazy b*t*h and that I'm good for nothing. I wasn't worth anything. He only married me because of my son. That if I sat down on a chair I would break it. Now a days he doesn't call me fat. He does complain that guys check me out to much. The b*t*h calling, not worth anything, good for nothing, lazy and more has not stopped. I really think he has some mental disorder because he doesn't act like this all the time. I used to cry all the time when he said something hurtful and now it's like I've become immune to his cruel words.

    Hun, you need to get rid of this guy ..

    Let her make her own decisions unless you know this person personally...

    Please explain the circumstances under which his behaviour is acceptable! I say, dump the *kitten*!

    Why would you want me to try and justify something like that ? It's obviously not acceptable...
  • Brett8118
    Brett8118 Posts: 15
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    -Husband used to call me a fat lazy b*t*h and that I'm good for nothing. I wasn't worth anything. He only married me because of my son. That if I sat down on a chair I would break it. Now a days he doesn't call me fat. He does complain that guys check me out to much. The b*t*h calling, not worth anything, good for nothing, lazy and more has not stopped. I really think he has some mental disorder because he doesn't act like this all the time. I used to cry all the time when he said something hurtful and now it's like I've become immune to his cruel words

    I'm sorry...I could never talk to my wife that way. That's terrible.
  • tldust
    tldust Posts: 103 Member
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    Definitely the kids in grade school . . . the same kids that followed me to junior high and high school. I would find ways not to go to recess. I joined orchestra, because sometimes they practiced during recess. And I started to work in the library during lunch hour. The bus was torture. Hated gym class. I was the fat, slow, inflexible, asthmatic, kid who always got picked last.

    Frequently they asked me, "How much do you weigh?"

    "Do you want to play with us?"
    "Sure," I said.
    "No, you're too fat."

    They would monitor what and how much I would eat during lunch. And felt free to make comments on my wardrobe. It was a fight to sit down in a seat on the bus.

    Kids are cruel. Perhaps, this is why I chose not to have any. And for those people who are all reminiscent about their childhood because it was so great . . . .whatever. The good times are now! Every year gets better!
  • Treece68
    Treece68 Posts: 780 Member
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    Well kids are cruel and I've been overweight most of my like so this is some stuff I remember from back in elementary and junior high. In High school people generally just stare at me so nothing specific from there. Some insults that stick out more:

    The reason we all hate you is because you're so fat.
    Your fatness might be contagious so go away.
    Only pigs are fat, so you must be a pig.
    You're so nasty! Who the %^$# (Insert the f word) would want to be with you?
    You shouldn't do swimming for gym class because you'd gross people out.
    I don't want to be your friend because you're fat.
    You're such a fat pig.

    My dad has said some mean things too.
    And some people wondered why I hated school but loved learning. :(

    This is the reason I did not go to my 10year HS reunion. They were so mean to me when we were in school but now they want to be friends because we went to the same place for 4 years NO WAY. I loved learning too also hated school.
  • InnerFatGirl
    InnerFatGirl Posts: 2,687 Member
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    -Husband used to call me a fat lazy b*t*h and that I'm good for nothing. I wasn't worth anything. He only married me because of my son. That if I sat down on a chair I would break it. Now a days he doesn't call me fat. He does complain that guys check me out to much. The b*t*h calling, not worth anything, good for nothing, lazy and more has not stopped. I really think he has some mental disorder because he doesn't act like this all the time. I used to cry all the time when he said something hurtful and now it's like I've become immune to his cruel words.

    Hun, you need to get rid of this guy ..

    Let her make her own decisions unless you know this person personally...

    And when did I STOP her from making her own decision?
  • Treece68
    Treece68 Posts: 780 Member
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    I was made fun of in School, my parents always knew just the right things to say to upset me about my weight.
    My grandma looks at me and says I don't want you to end up like your aunt's (they are spinsters, live together with tons of animals and are both over 300lbs)

    Recently my sister and I were swimming she looked at me and laughed "You have no boobs" they are the first thing I lose. So even when I'm losing weight I can't win I still get made fun of :(
  • InnerFatGirl
    InnerFatGirl Posts: 2,687 Member
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    on behalf of good guys everywhere i would sncerely like to apolagise for all the jackassery that some of my fellow gender has done to the women in this thread. im mostly referring to the women in here who have been in verbally or physically abusive relationships. im currently a single father who feels so much better about myself now that im single. for years i would be made to feel like i was unatractive and stupid by my x. at points she would hit me because i think she knew i wouldnt hit her bac so she could essentially get away with it. not saying that looking for sympathy. im a big boy and can handle getting hit but i seriously feel soooo much better about myself not that i am by myself. i saw a quote the other day that said something along the lines of, surround yourself only with people who are going to take you higher. essentially that is what i have done. ive cut out as many drama filled situations as i can, people included and am so much better for it

    You don't need to defend yourself, be apologetic or say you're not looking for sympathy. It's not only men who abuse, it's people, and that includes women too. LOTS of women are just as abusive as men, it just doesn't get reported as often or taken as seriously. There is no shame in being a victim of abuse by a woman. I'm happy for you that you're out of it :)
  • Impy84
    Impy84 Posts: 430
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    As an adult no one has ever been cruel to me regarding my weight. The most cruel person I know would be my biological father. At about 105 maybe 110 lbs i recall him calling me a cow having gained a couple and i mean a literal couple of lbs. i was maybe 15 at the time.

    I'm now 28 and a bad chick so no one steps out of their face to say spit to me because I do and will check them.
  • lostinureyes17
    lostinureyes17 Posts: 112 Member
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    I've been teased all my life.


    -Cousin would call me an elephant and now he's bigger than me and his wife is bigger than me too.
    -My sister used to be thin and one time her friend went over to the house and said that I was growing up so fast and my sister said yeah she's growing and acted like her stomach was big. Now she is overweight and struggling to lose weght.
    -Aunt would go to my house when I was little and tell me that I was dirty and needed to shower. I'd tell her that I had just showered and she would say that I was still dirty and she would pull my hair. Now she loves me to death and doesn't let anyone mess with me.
    -Grandma used to call me fat and that I needed to stop eating and be more like my cousin, she was the same age as me, and be thin. She passed away but I still love her.
    -Uncle used to tell me that my teeth were little because I ate so much and that my cousins, same cousin from above, teeth were big because she didn't eat enough. Last time I saw him he was very very big.
    -School kids used to call me fat, ugly, that no one wanted me, that I ate too much, I shouldn't be running, I shouldn't attempt to play sports, that I would cause earthquakes and such cruel things. I couldn't handle it so I would ditch school all day about 3 times a week and then I was home schooled senior year. Most of those people are in jail, overweight, ugly or just straight of who*es.
    -Husband used to call me a fat lazy b*t*h and that I'm good for nothing. I wasn't worth anything. He only married me because of my son. That if I sat down on a chair I would break it. Now a days he doesn't call me fat. He does complain that guys check me out to much. The b*t*h calling, not worth anything, good for nothing, lazy and more has not stopped. I really think he has some mental disorder because he doesn't act like this all the time. I used to cry all the time when he said something hurtful and now it's like I've become immune to his cruel words.

    Please tell me your not still with your husband! You deserve to be treated so much better than that! No man should ever say those words to you!

    My mom's ex called her fat after she gained some weight and her reply was "well you can fix fat but you're out of luck because you can't fix ugly!" It shows that he was an ugly person inside and she could do better than him.
  • anels449
    anels449 Posts: 3,187 Member
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    Some old lady at the grocery store told me I had chicken ankles and needed to put some meat on me when I was skinnier. Should never have listened haha!
  • wickedcricket
    wickedcricket Posts: 1,246 Member
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    I don't know how cruel it was but my daughter said I'm 'half the size I was' . I weigh 165- HOW big does she think I was?
  • boernera
    boernera Posts: 13 Member
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    My parents drilled it into my head when i was young that fat is bad, well im fat so i guess im bad
    On a happier note i have great friends and a wonderful husband
  • Shrinking_Moody
    Shrinking_Moody Posts: 270 Member
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    My own mother? Does that count? She's so nice to me in front of other people, but if/when we are alone, she's nasty.
    She's overweight herself and it is EATING her up inside that I am losing weight (through a lot of hard work). She does everything she can to sabotage me, but if someone is around she's all "doesn't Monique look great?". I sweat a lot when I workout, and just in general if I get hot. I guess it's a mild form of hyperhydrosis. She told me as a teen (age 12), that I sweat because I'm fat. Ya, sorry mom, not the case because years later I was super thin and fit and guess what?!? I sweat. The other day I said "my pants are falling down, I need new jeans", she said " oh, give your old ones to your sister, oh.. no wait... she's thinner than you. Nevermind". That's not even the half of the things she says on a daily basis. She steals 100 cal snacks that I painstakingly put into little baggies so that my portions are all evened out, she throws tantrums if I don't eat her 1000 cal lasagna for supper (I happily make my own little omelet, I've never asked her to change for me), and she offers me cake, pie, apple crisp, muffins, chocolate you NAME it, several times a day. This is all after we had a HUGE talk about my goals, my needs, my health concerns... none of it sinks in. I was eating popcorn the other evening and she said "How are you hungry, you eat so much". (bite my tongue, bite my tongue... thinking, and I burn at least 400 cals off EVERY day through exercize)

    OK, my vent is over, but my mother made me feel very ugly and fat for most of my life. That felt good, thanks for asking. Now, back at ya! You answer!

    I would totally limit my time with her. I know it's tough because it is your mother - but regardless no one deserves to be treated like this.
  • cowgirlashlee
    cowgirlashlee Posts: 301 Member
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    The children that I work with have often asked me if I "have a baby in there" because I carry my weight around my mid-section. If you want brutal honesty, ask a child :(

    My dad often asks me why I'm bothering to lose weight, because "You'll just end up like your aunt, grandmother, and cousins anyway." My aunt is over 400lbs, my grandma every bit of 300lbs, and my cousins are all 300+lbs (adult cousins, not the ones around my age and younger). He doesn't realize that I am losing weight BECAUSE I don't want to be the 400lb-er.

    Thankfully, my mom is 100% supportive, and even considering starting on MFP herself.
  • LaciWicker
    LaciWicker Posts: 9
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    I had an EX *repeat, EX!!* boyfriend who used to do the same thing to me on a regular basis, throughout the day, every day. He would also talk all the time about his super-bony ex girlfriends and how he wished he could feel bones on me instead of me being a chunker. Well *kitten* him! I lost 60 pounds and kept it off, even while fighting Lyme Disease that made me bedridden for over a year at one point! Now he has no job, is homeless, and has a baby that he doesn't pay child support for. All he ever wanted from me was to pop out a kid for him (at 18!!) and leech off of me and my family. This is the same guy I let pay 25 bucks a week as car payments for a car I bought him.. Which I later repossessed because he didn't make payments. When I got the car back after filing all the necessary reports, I opened the trunk to find $7,000 worth of my things and my parents things that he had stolen from us.
  • HealthyLivingKathy
    HealthyLivingKathy Posts: 204 Member
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    My own mother? Does that count? She's so nice to me in front of other people, but if/when we are alone, she's nasty.
    She's overweight herself and it is EATING her up inside that I am losing weight (through a lot of hard work). She does everything she can to sabotage me, but if someone is around she's all "doesn't Monique look great?". I sweat a lot when I workout, and just in general if I get hot. I guess it's a mild form of hyperhydrosis. She told me as a teen (age 12), that I sweat because I'm fat. Ya, sorry mom, not the case because years later I was super thin and fit and guess what?!? I sweat. The other day I said "my pants are falling down, I need new jeans", she said " oh, give your old ones to your sister, oh.. no wait... she's thinner than you. Nevermind". That's not even the half of the things she says on a daily basis. She steals 100 cal snacks that I painstakingly put into little baggies so that my portions are all evened out, she throws tantrums if I don't eat her 1000 cal lasagna for supper (I happily make my own little omelet, I've never asked her to change for me), and she offers me cake, pie, apple crisp, muffins, chocolate you NAME it, several times a day. This is all after we had a HUGE talk about my goals, my needs, my health concerns... none of it sinks in. I was eating popcorn the other evening and she said "How are you hungry, you eat so much". (bite my tongue, bite my tongue... thinking, and I burn at least 400 cals off EVERY day through exercize)

    OK, my vent is over, but my mother made me feel very ugly and fat for most of my life. That felt good, thanks for asking. Now, back at ya! You answer!

    She is your Mom AND that doesn't make her right, kind or give unconditional love. (from experience) Keep on keeping on. {{{HUGS}}}
  • Shrinking_Moody
    Shrinking_Moody Posts: 270 Member
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    the cruelest person in my life has been the person in the mirror.

    No one has said more mean things to me than myself.

    That's been the hardest thing in this journey- UNfriending THAT person.

    Totally agree and sometimes it comes back for me.

    Ditto.
  • weevil66
    weevil66 Posts: 600 Member
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    Holy smokes! People can be such *kitten*. I am so sorry that people have been so cruel to everybody. I have a neurological disease that results in tumors all over my body. I have been told by family members that it looks bad when I wanted to wear certain things. A couple of medical people could barely contain their revulsion when they saw me. A couple of former friends told me they would hàve killed themselves if they had neurofibromatosis like me and some guy said I should have been put to death at birth. These negative and ignorant opinions do not matter to me because I know I am basically a good person on the inside. Those people uttering them have some insecurities going on that they try to tear somebody down to make their own selves feel better.
  • sdavis448
    sdavis448 Posts: 195 Member
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    My fiance's co-workers have told him "she'd be hot if she'd lose some weight"

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