does anyone have a hard time making friends?

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Replies

  • fatbottomfairy
    fatbottomfairy Posts: 3
    That's definitely me. My whole life I've felt like I just didn't quite fit in. I was a little too sophisticated for the rednecks and a little too redneck for the sophisticated folks. Sometimes I think it's a blessing, but other times it's lonely. It would be nice to have a good group of girlfriends to have supper dates with or to workout with, but I find that I'm just so awkward with conversation and never seem to really have that much in common with other women. It's always forced when I can talk about something they like. Plus, I'm a total goof-ball and not many people get my sense of humor.
  • Deltafliers
    Deltafliers Posts: 201 Member
    social media is killing personal interaction slowly

    I agree! I have a lot of people who get upset at me because I am out of the loop when I don't check fb. I'm sorry I have a life, and that does not involve being inside on a computer all day long.
  • quickchekgal
    quickchekgal Posts: 213 Member
    Me! I totally know what you mean..and the friends I do have arent even good of friends. Nobody calls me either...hardly any texts. Sad. :(
  • kmm7309
    kmm7309 Posts: 802 Member
    That's definitely me. My whole life I've felt like I just didn't quite fit in. I was a little too sophisticated for the rednecks and a little too redneck for the sophisticated folks. Sometimes I think it's a blessing, but other times it's lonely. It would be nice to have a good group of girlfriends to have supper dates with or to workout with, but I find that I'm just so awkward with conversation and never seem to really have that much in common with other women. It's always forced when I can talk about something they like. Plus, I'm a total goof-ball and not many people get my sense of humor.

    ^^ this is me in a nut shell. My redneck husband says I can be prissy, and my sister (who lives in NY) says I can be a little too country. GRRR! :sad:
  • AlayshaJ
    AlayshaJ Posts: 703 Member
    A week or so ago, I looked at my calls list and hadnt received or made a call in FOUR DAYS....

    I am very friendly, like going out, am a good talker, ect., I just can't get friends because I have the interests of an old woman. I like to sew and cook. I work out, but no one i have met is interested in that part of my life at all. Meh.
  • mariemc91
    mariemc91 Posts: 26 Member
    I have the same problem. I'm pretty shy and I have trouble approaching people. I hate it I wish I was more outgoing...
  • shaynak112
    shaynak112 Posts: 751 Member
    I'm 21, I'm kinda shy, I have a hard time making friends too. I only can make friends if I'm not sober lol. I'm just not a social person. Oh well.
  • MelissaE27
    MelissaE27 Posts: 682 Member
    I am... not sure why.. I can be outgoing in fact have to be with my job.. but outside of that I dont go up to people my friends 1 has to call me to do things... My kids keep me comany but Im getting the idea that I need to make more friends.. and yes as you have said put myself out there... kinda tired of being alone...
  • comeon_skinnylove
    comeon_skinnylove Posts: 53
    since college, yes. in high school i was constantly surrounded by friends. college is a different story. i go to class, listen to the lecture, and leave. maybe make some small talk with people around me but not enough to the point where we're planning to hang out outside of class. sigh.
  • Elite4LifeDono
    Elite4LifeDono Posts: 33
    Homebody here! lol
  • brandyanne0204
    brandyanne0204 Posts: 45 Member
    I do not have a hard time making friends, I haven't made any new friends lately because I do not go anywhere.
  • themommie
    themommie Posts: 5,033 Member
    I feel the same way. It seems all of my good friends have moved out of state over the last 10 yrs, and I am having trouble replacing them. I have alot of acquiescences but no close friends
  • AwesomeOne66
    AwesomeOne66 Posts: 220
    whenever i have a party, people say "oh, i will see what i'm doing..if i don't have plans"...um, you're doing my party, your plans are my party!

    Not sure if this event is all you are inviting people too, but a lot of people dislike parties and will try to get out of them. More intimate, one on ones with friends are likely to go over better.

    you bring up a good point--I know that I personally am not good at parties, I tend to hang out in the corner with the small children and/or animals lol instead of mingle well, I do better with a smaller group...

    I'm always in the kitchen at parties (isn't there a song about that?), where I can maybe do someting useful instead of trying to think of something scintillating to say! And it's usually quieter and maybe someone might linger for a while and talk to me...I usually avoid parties if I can...way too shy!
  • Meg177
    Meg177 Posts: 215 Member
    Bump
  • ludeo
    ludeo Posts: 75
    Yes,

    have the same problem think it got worse when i finished school and did not go to uni like everyone else.

    and all my"so called friends" moved away

    also i work in hospitality so i work at night never get invited to anything anymore, its a bit sad.

    i have made some friends though tafe and the like. i really wish i had a fitness buddy though.
  • Christine1110
    Christine1110 Posts: 1,786 Member
    Yes....it is really sad now. I want to be outside doing things, and not sitting around.
  • NicoleIsUnderConstruction
    NicoleIsUnderConstruction Posts: 18
    =( story of my life!! it's like I'm itching to get out and do rings but I have no one to do them with! Funny thing is that my "friends" do everythingggg with other people..but with me? like i don't exist. Makes me sad =( I always wonder if theres something wrong with me and i don't know it as well.
  • Timetogetskinny
    Timetogetskinny Posts: 30 Member
    I blame the internet, home games, FB and everything else that is non-sociable out of the home!! This technology is what has kept people home and to themselves. In today's world EVERYONE and I mean EVERYONE is texting, FBooking and does email even exist anymore? But, nonetheless.... NO ONE GOES OUT ANYMORE!!

    25yrs later... I'm very fortunate to still have my goodfriends and best friend from high school. We keep in contact by phone, email, text and through our hobby, scrapbooking! It takes effort on both parties and though our lives have been very busy... marriage, children, schools and many other things... We have still made the effort to keep in touch!

    If your so called friends can't take the time to call you or see you, then move on... and those that have said that school was easier to make and have your friends.... if you really think about it... what is the difference from your work? You're still at work for 8 hours of the day and you still socialize with your coworkers...

    Find people who have the same interest as you at your work, hang out with the single gals and do more happy hours. Join a community park that has activities like Salsa dancing or any other kind of dancing groups. You should also join a book club. I met one of my good friends in a book club and she's still my friend!

    Before you know it... you'll have new friends, friends that will call you and vice-versa... it will take effort on your part but it will happen. =D And, who know... maybe your friends that haven't called you... feel the same... you just never know unless you call and express how you feel or how you've been feeling.

    Good luck!
  • kdeaux1959
    kdeaux1959 Posts: 2,675 Member
    We all have different personalities and such.. There is the sanguine party goer type, the passive type and so on. The key I think is getting out there and putting yourself in situations to meet people and do things... Maybe singles groups @ church, taking a class at a community college... even going out and hanging out. Most of my suggestions center around Church but then again, that is part of who I am... There are other places though... I suppose you just have to get out there ... be open and friendly @ work... just getting out there and making yourself available... Best wishes and every success to you!
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
    I blame the internet, home games, FB and everything else that is non-sociable out of the home!! This technology is what has kept people home and to themselves. In today's world EVERYONE and I mean EVERYONE is texting, FBooking and does email even exist anymore? But, nonetheless.... NO ONE GOES OUT ANYMORE!!

    25yrs later... I'm very fortunate to still have my goodfriends and best friend from high school. We keep in contact by phone, email, text and through our hobby, scrapbooking! It takes effort on both parties and though our lives have been very busy... marriage, children, schools and many other things... We have still made the effort to keep in touch!

    If your so called friends can't take the time to call you or see you, then move on... and those that have said that school was easier to make and have your friends.... if you really think about it... what is the difference from your work? You're still at work for 8 hours of the day and you still socialize with your coworkers...

    Find people who have the same interest as you at your work, hang out with the single gals and do more happy hours. Join a community park that has activities like Salsa dancing or any other kind of dancing groups. You should also join a book club. I met one of my good friends in a book club and she's still my friend!
    Unfortunately that is easier said than done especially when you are of different ethnicity & being surrounded by people at work with different interest. I work in a small company & we are only less than 50 people here. I do consider them as acquaintances but not close enough to be called friends. Moreover all of them are already married & are too busy with their family lives.

    In my case, I thanked the internet because this is the only tool where I can freely express myself that I cannot do so in real life.
  • steffers628
    steffers628 Posts: 16
    I don't believe I have a hard time making "friends", but I do have difficulties making deep connections.The "best friend" "be in my bridal party" type of friend is a friend I just don't have at this point in my life. It makes me a little sad from time to time, but I know the only thing I'm in control of is me. I'll keep putting myself out there and trying! Hopefully the more shared experiences I have with friends, the more they will associate me with good times, the deeper we will be able to connect, and the more they will remember to include me in things outside of school/work/rehearsal etc. Le sigh.
  • sho3girl
    sho3girl Posts: 10,799 Member
    A very wise person told me friends you can count on one hand everyone else is an aquaintance.
  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
    social media is killing personal interaction slowly

    this totally. i wish sm would just die.
  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
    also.....lots of people say to make friends at work

    i don't know how professional this is if you work with a small team. some people have a hard time seperating personal and professional.
  • HannahsReturnToFitness
    HannahsReturnToFitness Posts: 86 Member
    It was easy when I was in high school but as soon as I left after GCSEs, all contact with friends stopped. Most of them stayed on and I went out to work. I was and still am the youngest where I work and never really made friends with the girls where I work. I was 16 when I started to work there so could not go out with them when they went out on a saturday night etc.

    When I moved house and started to go swimming, thought may have been a good opportunity to make friends. The people are lovely there but I am the pretty much the only one under the age of 65 that goes.

    Will have to try something else!
  • Mizzy91
    Mizzy91 Posts: 63
    I've found dimensions of friendships have changed as I've got older, friends are all doing different things. Try meetup.com its where groups of people meet up and do different activities and you can create a group yourself if you require. M x
  • Mizzy91
    Mizzy91 Posts: 63
    A very wise person told me friends you can count on one hand everyone else is an aquaintance.

    Very true girl x
  • mspris2u
    mspris2u Posts: 161 Member
    I do! I was always the one that called my friends to get together or just chat. I decided to stop being the one that always calls and now I only have one or two people that I talk to. I do understand that people are busy with life in general but I don't think 5 minutes to return a call or text is to much to ask...or maybe it was. I will say that the few friends I have now have similar lives to mine so maybe its the similarities that make the difference....
  • StrengthIDidntKnow
    StrengthIDidntKnow Posts: 543 Member
    I have horrible social anxiety, making friends is really difficult for me. But the friendships I do have are long lasting. I don't get to see them as often as I would like but just knowing that they are there is comforting. I would like to meet new people that live closer to me, I just usually end of feeling awkward.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
    In high school, I always made friends in what I did. Mostly, I was a musician, so I was very aggressive in seeking out other musicians to play with. Most of my time was spent forming bands, practicing, writing songs and that kind of thing. I made tons of friends that way. But, as I got older, people started falling out. Some guys would meet a girls and then just stop playing. With many of those people, I realized that other than music, we have nothing in common. In some cases, I found that I didn't even like the guy outside of music.

    Then, I had to give up music for a while. So, life got interesting. All my "friends" stopped calling and I found myself very lonley.

    Fast forward to today. Now my issue is different. I think now, I don't fit in anywhere. I have a well-paying professional corporate job in a pretty conservative company. I earned a BA in Economics and an MBA. However, I'm not really "that guy". I think m smart, and the work is good. But, the folks I work with are just not the type I would hang out with when I'm relaxing. I've tried hard. Outside of work, I find that I don't fit into any group well. I'm just an odd ball dude. I'm kind of rough and drink a lot, but I workout and am super health conscience. I'm quiet and people tell me soft-spoken, but I listen to really hard music. I like to do things, but I'm also a little lazy because I work hard and on weekends I enjoy vegging out, as opposed to going out and doing something. The qualities I like in my friends are usually at odds with my work life. I'm an ex-rock star that has a professional day job. It's just weird.

    I've tried putting a band together, but at my age it's really difficult to do. Try finding 4 or 5 other guys with similar interests and the same schedule for practices...it's really hard. And I just feel like its impossible. I have tons of bar friends, but since I have been going out a lot less, even those friendships are fading out.

    I agree somewhat with what some are saying. You really have to make an effort and put yourself out there. And, often, people are lazy and flake out on you. We're all busy with our lives. People have families and other responsibilities.

    I have one friend that I'm probably getting ready to lose because it's getting to be exhausting. Maybe I'm just not a good friend or something.

    I also have a hang up about doing stuff with guys. Like I would never ver go to the movies with another guy. That just seems so gay. I won't go out to dinner either. I mostly center friendships around activities. So, I'll try to find some surfing buddies, some musician buddies, some folks to go running with, etc. I can find these pockets of friends to do things with, but I have a hard time taking it beyond that activity.

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