fifty shades of dieting



  • arathena720
    arathena720 Posts: 449 Member
    I never read the book but this was hilarious! You rock! :smooched:
  • MissTattoo
    MissTattoo Posts: 1,203 Member
    :laugh: and much better written than the original

  • jadamuriel76
    jadamuriel76 Posts: 58 Member
  • Tandi_S
    Tandi_S Posts: 439 Member

    :heart: :drinker:
  • carlynn13
    carlynn13 Posts: 281
    priceless :wink:
  • sisswright
    sisswright Posts: 65 Member
    Ihaven't read the book but this was amazing!! Funny yet seductive all at once... you're relationship with writing leaves me speechless and wanting more ;)
  • InnerFatGirl
    InnerFatGirl Posts: 2,687 Member
    Okay, my try :flowerforyou: :

    I saw him across the room and got that funny feeling in my stomach. I was drawn to him like a moth to a flame, such was his attraction. I’d never had *this* feeling so strongly before. I was nervous, shaking...yet so excited.

    “Hello,” he said.

    “Hi,” I replied shyly.

    He asked, “is there something you want?”

    “Yes,” I replied. “There is, but I’m not sure I should ask.”

    “Tell me...say it...tell me what you want,” he said.

    I stepped closer to him, my heart racing a mile a minute, my body becoming excited beyond all reason, the room feeling so very tiny all of a sudden.

    “Can I have a taste?” I asked shyly.

    “Just a taste?” he asked teasingly.

    “Yes, sir.”

    “Open for me,” he said. Nervously I looked around, faced him once more, and opened myself to him.

    I felt him put it in my mouth...what had to be the biggest, juiciest, best-tasting piece of double chocolate cheesecake I’ve ever had.

    “How was that?” he asked.

    “MMMMMMM” I moaned. “Thank you, sir. May I have another?”

    And I did...and another, and another...and now I'm paying the price, but it was sooooo worth it!

    Bloody awesome!

    I'll add to it;

    She was shaking. I suspect it was the sugar rush. She looked at me with hooded eyes, lucid even. Her lips, her juicy, plump lips, were parted slightly in anticipation. I saw the telltale mark of brown on her upper lip. I wanted to lick it off. I'd given her all my cheesecake, and I was gagging for some.

    "Your place, or mine?" she said, huskily.

    I raised an eyebrow.


    As she started to put on her jacket, I leaned back against the counter and watched her. My protusion was obvious. She turned sharply to look at me and I turned around quickly, to pick up my coat. I couldn't have her looking at my stomach - it was getting far too round!

    As we walked to the car, all I could think about was what I was going to do to her..............

  • naceto
    naceto Posts: 517 Member
    That was fabulous... just like any good man, always leave them wanting more! :wink:
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,411 Member
    This is brilliant!
  • _Kitten_Kate
    _Kitten_Kate Posts: 520 Member
    I can't believe that made me a lil excited!
    Tooo funny!
    Love love love love it!

    You had me a krispy creme...
  • TheNewo
    TheNewo Posts: 239 Member
    Greatness. Just plain greatness.
  • Dayna154
    Dayna154 Posts: 910 Member
    This made my morning..
  • kndlkai1
    kndlkai1 Posts: 112 Member
    Awesome! Write more!!!
  • butterfli7o
    butterfli7o Posts: 1,319 Member
  • LeellenMack
    LeellenMack Posts: 141 Member
    Definitely funny, lol
  • Kitten2629
    Kitten2629 Posts: 1,385 Member
    hmmm my kinda reading. :love: More please?
  • _Triple_S_
    _Triple_S_ Posts: 258 Member
    :laugh: :bigsmile: :laugh:
  • couponfun
    couponfun Posts: 714 Member
    I look back on that day with a mixture of nostalgia and awe. It feels like so long ago but I can still feel him behind me, beside me, all around me...his warm breath on my neck sending shivers through me.

    “Good,” he said. “Now take the legs and tie them tightly.”

    I took what He handed me, looked at my helpless victim, and looked back at him, my eyes asking for his approval. He trained me well, not to move or do anything without His permission. I saw him give me an almost imperceptible nod and I turned back to my task.

    I looped one leg first – that was easy. Then I began on the other and as I pulled tighter I started to feel resistance. Hips rocking back and forth, fighting me as I tried my best to do what He asked. My fingers began to hurt as the rope cut into my fingers, but I couldn’t disappoint Him. Finally I tied the legs together tightly, my brow glistening with the sweat from my labor.

    “Good girl,” he said. “Now, watch me as I put it in.” He brusquely took my tied-up victim and began to grunt with effort as he stuffed her over and over again. I couldn’t believe he got it all in, so big was what was in his hand. But my ropes held. He then looked over our handiwork. “Do you think it’ll work, sir?” I asked him.

    “Sure,” he said. “Meat stuffing in a Thanksgiving turkey works great. Gets nice and juicy. Now put it in the oven and I’ll teach you how to make the gravy.”

  • helencita13
    helencita13 Posts: 76 Member
    haha awesome idea! And I agree, much better than the books! I, for some reason, just started the 3rd book of the series. I think it would be much more exciting at this point if it were about food :drinker:
  • george29223
    george29223 Posts: 556 Member
    lolllllllllllllllllllll yalLs add on are greaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat tooo ha HA HA HAAA