relationships and F***ing up

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  • callhimrodneyafterdave
    callhimrodneyafterdave Posts: 97
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    Im not sure how it is in America but from my experiences women go for the men who talk the talk and honest chaps like myself get left behind because were to honest

    Yet to be proven wrong

    Rant done lol :)

    Dan
  • 4x4play
    4x4play Posts: 200 Member
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    I think people fall in love with the thought of being in love. They get wrapped up in the feeling and then when things don't work they don't know what to do. Some people cheat, some just give up all together. My mom tells me all the time that she doesn't get my age group and how so many marriages fail and how people don't seem to even date anymore. My marriage didn't work and to be honest I'm sure alot of it has to do with the fact that I got married way to young. Did I think I was in love, yes. Do I know for sure, no. I truly believe that you can have a committed relationship without cheating and without thinking about it also. It takes alot to make a relationship work and you have to continually work at it. In my opinion communication is the key factor.
  • F__7
    F__7 Posts: 371 Member
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    tumblr_m4f0e3wt5Y1rnmxgzo1_400.jpg

    One way or the other.....
  • SofaKingRad
    SofaKingRad Posts: 1,592 Member
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    it sucks....my bf has been being a total lying scumbag recently. I went through his phone and found sign ups for fling ads, craigslist posts, etc. it hurts so much :s
    i think it's because he's a sex addict and i don't put out enough >.<

    Have you considered ending the relationship at this point? Then getting checked for STDs?
  • mandipandi75
    mandipandi75 Posts: 6,036 Member
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    You can't a fault a person for cheating if they're upgrading. lol

    Isn't that the basis of LL Cool J's song Big Ole Butt?
  • aliceguy
    aliceguy Posts: 128 Member
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    I know its generally accepted that its the guy that cheats, but in my case I was the faithful one. I think in these days its just seems easier to let go and move on rather than work things through unfortunately. I actually find whats between the ears more stimulating than other body parts most of the time. I saw a great saying a few weeks ago, wish I could take credit for it though, it goes....a girl can f**k with your mind, but a woman explores it..
    Where are the women in my life!..haha:huh:

    I'll class myself as a women then! LOL!

    Haha....nice to finally meet one..so to speak anyway
  • _Wits_
    _Wits_ Posts: 1,286 Member
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    I feel like lying feeds cheating feeds lying. Failure to communicate what you need from your partner (lying by omission) turns into a desire for something more, which becomes cheating if acted on. Then the feelings of guilt and fear of getting caught motivate further lying, which leads the relationship to feeling shallow, which leads to wanting more, which again turns to cheating, which fosters more lying, which fosters more cheating, and so on, and so forth.

    I feel like though the person who chooses to act on their desires is definitely more at fault, it is both lovers' responsibility to ensure the other is getting what they need. Frequent open, honest discussions about every aspect of the relationship are important, and both partners need to feel comfortable expressing what they want and need. If partner A needs something partner B isn't giving them, and partner B gets angry or hostile when partner A brings this up, of course partner A isn't going to bring it up. If partner A decides to cheat to get what they don't feel comfortable asking for from partner B, is it partner B's fault? No - it was partner A's choice. However, if partner B had been more open to communication about this need, partner A might not have made that choice.

    Does that make sense? It's just my observation, anyway.

    Makes absolute sense. Well said.
  • MargotAllen
    MargotAllen Posts: 63
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    I **** up relationships because I don't feel like I'm good enough for the person I'm with.
  • NewChristina
    NewChristina Posts: 250 Member
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    People who do it either
    a. lack maturity
    b. do not feel as strongly as the partner

    A mature adult who is 100% in love with their partner will not cheat, or lie.

    Agreed. One of my must-haves in a relationship is loyalty. I have to be able to trust him.
  • weeblex
    weeblex Posts: 411 Member
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    tumblr_m4f0e3wt5Y1rnmxgzo1_400.jpg

    One way or the other.....
    I have one of these shirts, it is great for Casual Fridays :)
  • cellokitty91
    cellokitty91 Posts: 127 Member
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    You can't a fault a person for cheating if they're upgrading. lol

    True... but ive been cheated on with some clear downgrades. I'm guessing they took it in the *kitten* or something special like that. Gave them something i couldn't, fair enough

    the only time I've been cheated on was with a serious downgrade and all she did was give him a hand job. Now wtf is that?
  • rchiecuto
    rchiecuto Posts: 69 Member
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    it sucks....my bf has been being a total lying scumbag recently. I went through his phone and found sign ups for fling ads, craigslist posts, etc. it hurts so much :s
    i think it's because he's a sex addict and i don't put out enough >.<

    Have you considered ending the relationship at this point? Then getting checked for STDs?


    no, he says he likes getting off to it (he's a porn/sexual addict) and there's never been anything i found with him meeting up with someone, I know he wouldn't do it. Guys don't get that words hurt too >.<

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