Talk about a slap in the face. Motivation depleted.

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  • Mbishop7684
    Mbishop7684 Posts: 171 Member
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    My 2 cents?

    He could have had a little more tact BUT he was being honest and you told him to say it so shame on you for being mad when you said you wouldn't be.

    I didn't yell at him or get mad at him. I talked with him for a few more minutes, blamed the dog and said I had to go for a walk with the dog. So I half way kept my promise. at least I'm not directing my anger towards him.. yet :explode: :laugh:

    a little humor there


    good night y'all :)

    I apologize that statement did not come off as intended. I it was a small slap on the wrist for saying you won't get mad. You did get mad. You also were hurt, angry, disappointed, vulnerable and ALL of those feelings that get mixed in when someone you love AND trust comments on a sensitive subject so insensitively. All I was trying to point out is whenever someone starts a sentence like that they KNOW it will cause friction. SO in the future, if he says "promise you won't get mad?" say "no I can't promise that so proceed at your own risk ;-)" THEN if he proceeds to KNOWINGLY say something without TACT that will hurt your feelings you can feel free to cuss him out and then the dogs feelings won't be hurt ;-)

    Bottom line in this ENTIRE thread.... DON"T LET ANYONE TELL YOU THAT YOU AREN'T BEAUTIFUL JUST THE WAY YOU ARE! You are working to change yourself but at the end of the day you are beautiful because of your heart not your body.
  • fishbarn
    fishbarn Posts: 90 Member
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    Been on my weight-loss journey since May 25th. Almost 2 months in I am bout 6lbs lighter, the difference in inches is minimal and it's hardly noticeable. My boyfriend and I are living 5000 miles away and I am moving back to where he lives at the end of september. My goal was to be down 15-20lbs by September 25th. So about 5 lbs a month. Not too crazy of a goal huh?

    Well the BF was here at the beginning of July for 10 days. We were just on the phone and he goes "You have great features, and while I don't find myself attracted to you because of your weight, I do see potential in you and when I see old pictures of you and where you have been, I see that you can be smaller than you are"

    I am sorry, but WHAT THE EFF!! I was 17 in those pictures, and while yes I may be a few pounds on the heavy side (I am about 145lbs, ex swimmer so my legs are all muscle, and I carry my weight well.) I am busting a$s, and have been frustrated with my current plateau, but not stressing it too much.

    I'm just very upset at the moment. I work out 4-5 days a week, eat relatively healthy (the main change I have done in my diet is to cut out sugary drinks. All I drink is water, green tea and black coffee and also cut down on portion sizes) so I am hoping giving it some more time and upping the intensity of my workouts, I'll bust through this plateau.. but at the same time, what if I'm not able to lose the weight? I don't want to be with someone that no longer finds me attractive because he saw old pictures of me and now "realizes" how "hot" I can be compared to what I look like now.

    Sorry it's so long.

    This guy is not worth your time or begin your boyfriend. I think you can do much better than him. So I would dump him, & yes I know that will be hard for you, but you are worth it.
  • fatpanda96
    fatpanda96 Posts: 77
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    Girl, I would LOVE to be 145, you should be proud of your body.
  • lustergirl
    lustergirl Posts: 123 Member
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    Wow, he would be my ex boyfriend. And to think I would love to weight 150 pds and be happy with it.
  • Yasmine91
    Yasmine91 Posts: 599 Member
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    DUMP.HIS.*kitten*.NOW.
  • lala40217
    lala40217 Posts: 60 Member
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    My answer would be "I thought you had some great features but I don't find myself attracted to you because of your personality, I don't see any potential in you and I see that you are a lot less intelligent than I thought you were"
    okay so THIS one is my favorite
  • megblair1
    megblair1 Posts: 1,225 Member
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    dump the *kitten*
    BLEH
  • suegmune
    suegmune Posts: 81
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    So not worth being around someone like this. He would make some people completely horrified with the possibility of gaining weight at any point in life. I think that might work for some people (some may turn around and bust their *kitten* to please), but that is so not me. Love me for who I am, not for the weight I am.
  • stumpycow
    stumpycow Posts: 94 Member
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    I hope he's now your ex boyfriend. What a mean thing to say to someone!

    Agreed!!
  • juicygurl1
    juicygurl1 Posts: 195 Member
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    dump they dude, and the pounds will drop off.
  • stacyfoo
    stacyfoo Posts: 47
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    I love how everyone is so negative on your BF.

    Here's something to think about...maybe he knows what your goals are and is not the best communicator. With that in mind, could it be that you are misinterpreting his attempt at support? Remember, that not everyone conveys what they mean in perfection, and no matter what your mindset is at the time, you will have influence upon how you read what is said.

    This isn't the first time he comments on my weight. We had a HUGE argument around christmas time when I was the heaviest I have ever been (155), and I wasn't happy with myself. I started putting together a plan to lose weight. The way he thought was best to "motivate" me was by being negative and I confronted him about it.

    He changed significantly and was very supportive WHICH IS WHY THIS HURTS SO MUCH. Out of the blue, after 2 months of hard work (and him being supportive) he tells me this. I'm starting to think a lot of things he has said has been utter bullcrap. He is telling me now again he is not attracted to me despite the discussions we have had previously regarding this subject and how I think he should have handled things back then.

    What's interesting is you miss the greatest point...he's not into your looks, meaning he sees the real you and is with you because of it

    Honestly, it sounds more like he's still with her because of how she USED to look.

    Alleycat, hun.. you are GORGEOUS! You deserve to find someone who can love you for the amazing person you are! Like others have said.. what happens if you two do end up married? and having children? Not to mention just age alone can do to a person's body. Honestly, i'd let him think you weren't trying. It doesn't sound as if he's supportive anyway. Move on and concentrate on you, what you want out of life and any fitness goals you have for YOURself! And then find someone who can love, support and compliment you as a person as a whole.
  • redheaddee
    redheaddee Posts: 2,005 Member
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    Seriously, tell him to take a LONG walk off a SHORT pier. You are beautiful and he needs to check himself. You do not need this guy in your life and I feel that he needs to GO.
  • tracy1031
    tracy1031 Posts: 36
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    Dump his sorry *kitten*. Lose weight for yourself, not anyone else.
  • half_moon
    half_moon Posts: 807 Member
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    Well it doesn't sound like you will dump him any time soon, but just be strong and remember that you are beautiful and you should never lose weight for ANYone but YOURSELF.
  • trishka48
    trishka48 Posts: 51 Member
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    He sounds like a jerk. You can drop a few pounds by getting rid of a sandbag like him.


    ^^ This. You deserve better. You do.
  • scruffykaz
    scruffykaz Posts: 317 Member
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    What an *kitten*. Looking at your pic, you are gorgeous!!!

    What about him? Is he perfect in every single way? I sincerely doubt it!!!

    I agree with what some of the others have said. You deserve somebody who loves you for you....
  • JuneBPrice
    JuneBPrice Posts: 294 Member
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    So... plenty of fish or eharmony to find your new boyfriend?
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
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    DTMFA
  • sipseyab
    sipseyab Posts: 59
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    Bye bye, ****head. What a douche.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    Been on my weight-loss journey since May 25th. Almost 2 months in I am bout 6lbs lighter, the difference in inches is minimal and it's hardly noticeable. My boyfriend and I are living 5000 miles away and I am moving back to where he lives at the end of september. My goal was to be down 15-20lbs by September 25th. So about 5 lbs a month. Not too crazy of a goal huh?

    Well the BF was here at the beginning of July for 10 days. We were just on the phone and he goes "You have great features, and while I don't find myself attracted to you because of your weight, I do see potential in you and when I see old pictures of you and where you have been, I see that you can be smaller than you are"

    I am sorry, but WHAT THE EFF!! I was 17 in those pictures, and while yes I may be a few pounds on the heavy side (I am about 145lbs, ex swimmer so my legs are all muscle, and I carry my weight well.) I am busting a$s, and have been frustrated with my current plateau, but not stressing it too much.

    I'm just very upset at the moment. I work out 4-5 days a week, eat relatively healthy (the main change I have done in my diet is to cut out sugary drinks. All I drink is water, green tea and black coffee and also cut down on portion sizes) so I am hoping giving it some more time and upping the intensity of my workouts, I'll bust through this plateau.. but at the same time, what if I'm not able to lose the weight? I don't want to be with someone that no longer finds me attractive because he saw old pictures of me and now "realizes" how "hot" I can be compared to what I look like now.

    Sorry it's so long.

    Let me get this right... Ur boyfriend said he isn't attracted to you?? Yet u still call him your boyfriend!?

    Your response to his comment should have started with eff and ended in off!!!

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