A Letter, Add Yours!

Dear Sister,

Please use a filter between your brain and your mouth! Your wearing me slick with your stupidity! And enough with the damn drama already, your 36, drama is for teenagers!

OMG, this is the best
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Haha!:laugh: above letter writer- please refer to post on Body Dismorphia...... ha!

I know, I posted that topic! :laugh:

I thought it was you ! ( but I suddenly couldn't find the thread to be sure! I love it!

This thread is making me laugh ~ I love how evil our thoughts are!:devil:

laughter is the best medicine for the stupidity that surrounds us!

Oops - see above for back fat - love this one!!!

Dear Roommate,
I understand your need as an independent woman to toy with men's emotions. I think its kind of gone a little too far. Trailer (whom I don't even know his real name) is pathetic. I realize that he's having a hard time because his wife just left him for some guy she met over the internet playing World of Warcraft, but seriously...does that mean that he can be a sloth at our apartment? He thinks you like him. You tell me that you don't. Make up your mind and let him know. Possibly just tell him that he can't come over until he showers. That would help alot. Also, can you pay me back for the earplugs I had to buy so I can sleep? You guys are loud.
Sincerely,
Your sleepy Roommate

Dear Creepo at the gate,
Please don't act like you know me. We've had very few small conversations before. Let's keep it to a minimal. Please don't follow me to my apartment so you can check it for predators. You are the predator. I hate you and I don't want to be your friend. Go hang you with your fiance and keep your nasty tainted hands off of me. Thank you.
Scared Sh*tless,
your prey.

Dear Boyfriend,
I really am absolutely smitten and crazy about you. You are fabulous and amazing. I only ask one thing (that I've been asking for 6 months now)...PLEASE stop talking about marriage. It freaks me out. I know that you don't want to get married for 5 more years, so please don't talk about it until then. Commitment scares the crap out of me and I feel like you're already trying to chain me down to you. Yes, we've been together for a year and a half, but that doesn't mean anything except you now feel comfortable farting in front of me....which still makes me uncomfortable. And when you ask me if I want to be with you forever and I don't say "yes", don't get upset. Just realize that I'm only 20 years old and I'm not ready for that. thank you.
Independently yours,
girlfriend from hell

stop saying "im not touching him, im not touching him" when you clearly have your finger in his face,
stop saying "mom mom mom ............." with no statement or question to follow,

:laugh: :laugh:

Dear Creepo at the gate,
Please don't act like you know me. We've had very few small conversations before. Let's keep it to a minimal. Please don't follow me to my apartment so you can check it for predators. You are the predator. I hate you and I don't want to be your friend. Go hang you with your fiance and keep your nasty tainted hands off of me. Thank you.
Scared Sh*tless,
your prey.

Caroline Fitness - Be careful with this guy... sounds like a creep. Is he employed by your apartment building? If so, I would call your landlord & let them know this guy is making you really uncomfortable.

Dear Creepo at the gate,
Please don't act like you know me. We've had very few small conversations before. Let's keep it to a minimal. Please don't follow me to my apartment so you can check it for predators. You are the predator. I hate you and I don't want to be your friend. Go hang you with your fiance and keep your nasty tainted hands off of me. Thank you.
Scared Sh*tless,
your prey.

Caroline Fitness - Be careful with this guy... sounds like a creep. Is he employed by your apartment building? If so, I would call your landlord & let them know this guy is making you really uncomfortable.

I agree. Better safe.

Thank you both for your concern. We've notified the owners of the apartment complex, but hes on a 3 week ARMY trip or something...They said they would speak to him when he gets back.

I'm loving all of these...so here we go!

Dear Son,

I know you are turning 11 soon, and I am very excited for you to grow up. However...I was 10 once, and you are by no means:

better
smarter
harder working
able to drive your own butt anywhere
able to do the laundry
clever enough to grocery shop
rich enough to buy all the items you need (clothes) and items you don't need (toys & game crap)
and lastly, owner of the house...

So quit treating me like I'm stupid when I speak, being annoyed with me when I help, and thankless when I spend 23094587243095872304587 hours doing everything for you. I do things, share my time, and give you my attention to you not because I owe you, but because I love you and I want you to be happy.

Love,
Your Mother Who Can't Do Anything Right

P.S. Good luck trying to find all 39483987453 pieces to your baseball uniform tonight. I took the day off.

Dear Co-Workers,

Since you all apparently have a lot of Siberian blood in you, don't assume I like the office temperature below 48 degrees.

When office drops below the said 48 degrees, don't ask me why I'm putting on layers of sweaters, scarfs & coats. It's called "self-preservation". :grumble:

See those slats up in the ceiling?? That's a air register. Maybe you can't see it because it's over my desk, not yours. That noise you hear is the register blasting out the cold air you seem to thrive in. Lucky me.

One day I hope the powers that be will tire of my incessant whining & move my desk to the buildings boiler room, but until that glorious day happens, you can take that t/stat & put it where the sun doesn't shine. :bigsmile:

Frigidly yours,

Shannon

Dear Co-Workers,

Since you all apparently have a lot of Siberian blood in you, don't assume I like the office temperature below 48 degrees.

When office drops below the said 48 degrees, don't ask me why I'm putting on layers of sweaters, scarfs & coats. It's called "self-preservation". :grumble:

See those slats up in the ceiling?? That's a air register. Maybe you can't see it because it's over my desk, not yours. That noise you hear is the register blasting out the cold air you seem to thrive in. Lucky me.

One day I hope the powers that be will tire of my incessant whining & move my desk to the buildings boiler room, but until that glorious day happens, you can take that t/stat & put it where the sun doesn't shine. :bigsmile:

Frigidly yours,

Shannon

For that reason I went to Target and invested in a $12 space heater. It changed my life.

Dear Co-Workers,

Since you all apparently have a lot of Siberian blood in you, don't assume I like the office temperature below 48 degrees.

When office drops below the said 48 degrees, don't ask me why I'm putting on layers of sweaters, scarfs & coats. It's called "self-preservation". :grumble:

See those slats up in the ceiling?? That's a air register. Maybe you can't see it because it's over my desk, not yours. That noise you hear is the register blasting out the cold air you seem to thrive in. Lucky me.

One day I hope the powers that be will tire of my incessant whining & move my desk to the buildings boiler room, but until that glorious day happens, you can take that t/stat & put it where the sun doesn't shine. :bigsmile:

Frigidly yours,

Shannon

Yeah, that goes for me too. I don't care if this office is the warmest one in the building. I'M STILL FREEZING!!!

Dear Co-Workers,

Since you all apparently have a lot of Siberian blood in you, don't assume I like the office temperature below 48 degrees.

When office drops below the said 48 degrees, don't ask me why I'm putting on layers of sweaters, scarfs & coats. It's called "self-preservation". :grumble:

See those slats up in the ceiling?? That's a air register. Maybe you can't see it because it's over my desk, not yours. That noise you hear is the register blasting out the cold air you seem to thrive in. Lucky me.

One day I hope the powers that be will tire of my incessant whining & move my desk to the buildings boiler room, but until that glorious day happens, you can take that t/stat & put it where the sun doesn't shine. :bigsmile:

Frigidly yours,

Shannon

For that reason I went to Target and invested in a $12 space heater. It changed my life.

I have a space heater that I used when we first moved to this new building but unfortunately it blew a circuit now I can't use it. :explode: I invested in an electric throw which helps but it's hard to do my work when my hands have to stay under the throw in order to keep warm. :frown:

Dear brats who cut across my yard,

I realize I live in a townhouse. The yard is not "mine" in the "I pay a mortgage and can build a fence if I want to" kind of way. However, I do pay a ridiculously high rent and only have a postage stamp sized scrap of grass. I thought the bushes and trees around my patio would keep you away. No. I thought the dligence with which my dear husband planted his pathetic flowers in their mismatched pots would send a message that someone, no matter how colorblind, cared for this little patch of dirt. Alas, it is not to be. You insist on stomping across my tiny plot with your iPods blaring, yelling at each other over the noise. Do you realize you are 6 inches from my window yet only 2 feet from the sidewalk? You get home, what, 30 seconds faster?? Speaking of home, were you raised by wolves????

The sidewalk is there for your walking pleasure. Embrace it. Don't make me turn the hose on you. :noway:

Regards,

The cranky lady in 102