serious problem

So here's my completely irrelevant position on this situation..

I can completely understand the OPs frustrations and think it's good for a person to vent from time to time. I recently took in my two nieces and my nephew because my sister was deemed unfit by the state. Unfortunately, before now I haven't had a lot of time with my nieces and nephew aside from holidays. I was completely oblivious to the fact that my sister was struggling with addiction. I've been in the military and have been out of state since I turned 18. I'm 25, single, and now all of a sudden a parent to a 6 year old, a 9 year old, and a 12 year old. I had to put college on hold so I could take care of the children. I have to wait an extra year now to reenter the physical therapy assistant program I was in. There was just no way I could manage school, work, and the 3 kids when they first moved into my household. Things around here can be tough because It's me and only me. When they moved in they had absolutely no manners and hadn't had any type of structure for the longest time. I've worked really hard with the children on their behavior. The children can devour food. I've really struggled keeping food in the cabinets on my limited budget. I do buy the kids snacks.. and not always the healthiest stuff. I now have rules set up in the household. I am really strict about what comes out of the fridge and the pantry. Nothing gets eaten without asking first. $75 dollar per week is a tight budget and I'm sure the OP is aware of that but sometimes you can only do the best you can. I feed the 4 of us for around $100 per week. Our budget is what I would consider shoe string. My job is't the greatest job especially since I've had to cut my hours to be home when I need to for them. I am squeezing every penny I can. I buy what's on sale and I use a lot of coupons. It's been almost 6 months and I haven't received any aid from the state yet. I should be getting my first check next month. It will be close to around 500 dollars. That will definitely make things easier around here. It will at least cover groceries for the 3 kids.

Don't get me wrong.. this post is a rant.. and I AM b*tching. Not at anything in particular. Not at my sister. Not at the children. Not at the state who has taken their sweet time helping with aide. I am just *****ing because sometimes it's all I can do to keep from going crazy. Life's hard.. lol.

With that said, I love my nieces and nephew. I will continue to support them and raise them like my own as long as necessary. They have been a handful but I love them with all of my heart.

... *Exhale* Rant Over.

Your nieces and nephew are very lucky to have such an amazing uncle, you're doing a fab job!

^^ This...

Young man you have my respect :flowerforyou:

I buy 2 dozen eggs at a time. Each kid get 4 eggs when I cook them.
If I don't make homemade noodles I'll buy whole wheat spaghetti and make double (2#) ..enough for 10-12 ppl. They don't finish that.
But they'll go back 30 minutes later and eat 8 mini bags of Doritos, each.

I just don't get it. Even when the junk food is gone, they wont eat. All I hear is "I'm hungry! I'm starving!" But there is GOOD food there!

I am seriously thinking I'm getting a locking cabinet.


I bought yogurt for myself to increase my calcium because milk upsets my stomach. Got 40 of them last Monday (of last week) by Tues at noon I went in for my snack, not a single one was left.
Its getting bad. One or 2 I don't care. But 3 kids, 40 yogurts in under 24 hours?

Recoiljpr...... if they would EAT the food I made and not ALL the snacks and junk and treats in one or two days I wouldn't care.

Well, then don't get snacks for a few weeks and only give them plenty of food you cook. They will eat it, I promise they won't starve. :-)

Yeah, it sucks you can't keep a few treats for yourself, but for now that's really your only choice. Show them you mean business by not buying a single snack food for a while. They will get the picture.

Locking up the food or not buying the food will not solve the problem. Discipline and teaching respect will solve the problem. You're looking for a solution beyond the obvious one that is not an easy task, but cannot be overlooked. If you're not confident in your own ability to discipline your children's habits, then they won't be confident in your ability to do so either, and this overindulgence and misbehavior will continue.

If you want to eat popcorn, jello and occasional ramen, you should be able too. In fact, if you DO wish to eat ice cream and cake and huge bags of doritos and brownies, you should be able to do that. (Not saying you want too, but just saying that WHAT the food is, is actually a moot point). The point is that your kids should be respectful of your food choices, your finances and overall simply what you wish for them to eat (which is nothing too crazy, just proper meals).

That being said, you really should get to the root of the issue by seeking ways that would teach your kids to listen to what you say. That might seem like a daunting task with adolescent boys (and adolescents in general -- I was one not incredibly long ago) but if you let them do whatever they want, you are going to go through grief and frustration like you are now and they will continue with disrespectful habits as they grow older as well.

You noted that you tried a handful of different ways to make them stop. Were you persistent about it? Did you continue with consistency, or give up in frustration? Just like with losing weight, change comes when people are uncomfortable. Your children need to be uncomfortable for an extended period of time to learn that they need to change their behavior. You can't ground them for a day or two from video games or internet and expect them to learn a lesson. Be persistent in your approach and if you give in or give up, you are sending them the message that you aren't serious and that they truly can get away with what they wish.

This has to be about more than food for you. You have to have the desire in your to teach your kids the proper way to live in a household and the proper ways to eat. I can tell by your messages that you truly DO wish to teach your kids the proper ways to eat (b/l/d and not merely snacks). You just have to build up enough strength and persistence in this pursuit to make a true change. Seek resources, research advice on children at that age: become friends with Moms on here that can offer you support (or anyone to offer support, for that matter).

Best wishes :-)