We broke up because...
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She was all "wham bam thank you ma'am"0
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because I googled them and didn't like what I saw... or didn't see as the case may be.0
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He had become the bane of my existence0
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He didn't tell me..I got home from work and the furniture was gone..0
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she made love like a professional wrestler0
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He didn't like it rough0
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She like me to say ruff...like a dog0
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she wouldn't play fetch correctly.0
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Barked during sexy time...landlord threw us out..no pets allowed..he thought we had a dog0
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The collar chafed.0
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Too delicate.0
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she broke me0
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he forgot the safe word...sorry I didn't mean to hurt you
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The safeword was unpronounceable.0
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You know that Bane...He's so vain0
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there was a safe word? now you tell me!0
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Lied to the cops0
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I thought the song was about me.0
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Complained about the bite marks and scratches0
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Kept insisting I was complaining.0
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Omg the whining. Couldn't take it anymore0
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because I told him we were (and he does everything I say)0
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he wanted me mute ..Said he would cut out my tongue
alrighty..we know thats not gunna happen.. 
He kept stealing my panties0 -
always on my back..She'd ride me all day and night
wait a minute
come back!!!0 -
So incredibly fickle. Always changing his mind0
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She kept insisting TIC TACS were a breath mint
theyre candy mints..am I right?0 -
He was always wrong0
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semantics0
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Wouldnt do a 3some0
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habitual liar... see above
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