We broke up because...
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She called me Sook, I don't know what that means so I assumed it was offensive0
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Was always jumping to conclusions!0
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Bought too many shoes0
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She made me wear a shirt at the pool0
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He was lighter than me!
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One beer and he was in Zombieland!0
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His friends had more life than this Deadbeat!
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He was always obsessing over The Rock!
I heard of Man Crushes, but not Hanging Posters all over the Bedroom!0 -
Could never see the difference between The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin0
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She was always stone cold to me!
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Would not let me wear my Hurricane Cape to bed.
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Caught him stealing @C_PruneJuice 's "Fat Bottom Booty Shorts"!
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She called me a Nasty Boy!
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Kept feeding me spinach, in every single meal.0
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This was his smile whenever we took a Family portrait
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He was kinda scary! Whenever I put on a negligee in the dark:
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He was always ignoring me!0
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Kept replaying THAT scene from When Harry Met Sally every time we went out for dinner.0
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She didn't like me expressing my feelings vocally!0
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She kept proposing... to other people.0
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Booked our honeymoon to a swingers resort, tried to persuade me the brochure had a misprint and it was a swimmers resort.0
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He was like the terminator, unkillable. I tried cutting the cords on his parachute, get him to bungee jump, parachuting, anti freeze in his drinks. Even rat poison and arsenic did not do the trick. I gave up in the end, cut my losses and left before he got too suspicious.0
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Her Breath smelled like Cat Food0
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He served my food up in a cat bowl on the floor0
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She handed me a dog biscuit when I asked if we had any snacks!0
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That time he dumped me with no warning!
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Prunes were bad for me!0
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Caught her licking Prunes..the man not the food :laugh:0
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The last time I ate prunes, they upset my stomach 0
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