Bad advice thread

24567…12

Replies

  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
    Ha!
    Feel free to take a load off in your bosses leather chair. Leave him little post it's telling him how he could improve in mentoring you.
  • Bbearhug
    Bbearhug Posts: 20 Member
    Sinistrous wrote: »
    Dr. Oz can help you lose weight.

    Worst advice ever^

    This literally made me laugh out loud. truth.
  • mrsmartinez99
    mrsmartinez99 Posts: 1,255 Member
    Flirting with a cop will get you out of a ticket, remember to unbutton your shirt a little
  • Bbearhug
    Bbearhug Posts: 20 Member
    Yes, that dress looks great on you.
  • mrsmartinez99
    mrsmartinez99 Posts: 1,255 Member
    Bbearhug wrote: »
    Yes, that dress looks great on you.

    Bahahahaha....I'm done
  • rendash49221
    rendash49221 Posts: 39 Member
    madhatter2013 wrote: »
    The white bordering the stop sign means it's optional.

    I told an ex that once and he got mad at me for the ticket he got later.

    LOL! This must be why the cop that lives on my street never stops.

  • Cindy4FunFit
    Cindy4FunFit Posts: 2,732 Member
    It's ok to skip team meetings if it's your Birthday! (True story: actually used this excuse)
  • mrsmartinez99
    mrsmartinez99 Posts: 1,255 Member
    Wearing a lot of cologne or perfume will cover the cigarette smell perfectly.
  • 530roman
    530roman Posts: 1,819 Member
    Guys, start all kik messages with a picture of your junk. It keeps them coming back for more!
  • techgal128
    techgal128 Posts: 719 Member
    If you start a sentence with "no offense," you can say whatever you want without hurting anyone's feelings.
  • undergloom
    undergloom Posts: 531 Member
    Tell her how you really feel.
  • elephant2mouse
    elephant2mouse Posts: 906 Member
    Secret to weight loss: If no one sees you eat, the calories don't count ;)
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
    madhatter2013 wrote: »
    The white bordering the stop sign means it's optional.

    I told an ex that once and he got mad at me for the ticket he got later.

    OK I am rolling on this one!!!! LOL!!!

  • elephant2mouse
    elephant2mouse Posts: 906 Member
    Use your high beams in fog, it'll help you see better.
  • Stoshew71
    Stoshew71 Posts: 6,553 Member
    Juicy Fruit Bublegum will take away the smell of alcohol on your breath
  • Bbearhug
    Bbearhug Posts: 20 Member
    ALWAYS remind a police officer when he pulls you over that your taxes pay his salary.
  • Carbsmakefat
    Carbsmakefat Posts: 89 Member
    edited January 2015
    if he doesn't call back, just keep leaving message after message after message and then text a few times to make sure he got your message. Don't give up. That makes him know you are really interested and men love that.
  • EZDUZIT68
    EZDUZIT68 Posts: 1,168 Member
    When a woman with a large belly enters a room, Its considered proper etiquette to congratulate her and ask her when the due date is.
  • francesmarieg
    francesmarieg Posts: 75 Member
    Girls LOVE it when you ask them for nudes during your FIRST texting conversation!
  • EZDUZIT68
    EZDUZIT68 Posts: 1,168 Member
    francesmarieg wrote: »
    Girls LOVE it when you ask them for nudes during your FIRST texting conversation!

    Is that implying its OK to ask on the second or third texting conversation? Just asking... :)
  • francesmarieg
    francesmarieg Posts: 75 Member
    EZDUZIT68 wrote: »
    francesmarieg wrote: »
    Girls LOVE it when you ask them for nudes during your FIRST texting conversation!

    Is that implying its OK to ask on the second or third texting conversation? Just asking... :)

    Hahahaha!!!! Personally... I'd never send nudes, EVER! But you'd be surprised how many times I've been asked for them on MFP!
  • Bbearhug
    Bbearhug Posts: 20 Member
    ALWAYS remind a police officer when he pulls you over that your taxes pay his salary.
    Carbsmakefat wrote: »
    if he doesn't call back, just keep leaving message after message after message and then text a few times to make sure he got your message. Don't give up. That makes him know you are really interested and men love that.


    hahahahha when Jon Favreau did that in Swingers

  • undergloom
    undergloom Posts: 531 Member
    Being a TSA agent is a boring and monotonous job; lighten up an agent's day by making a joke about having a bomb.
  • Bbearhug
    Bbearhug Posts: 20 Member
    Secret to weight loss:

    If no one sees you eat it, the calories don't count.
  • joshua3179
    joshua3179 Posts: 2,882 Member
    You know even anne frank could see that and she was blind AND deaf!!
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
    Secret to a happy marriage?
    Nagging :heart_eyes:
  • SojournerThirteen
    SojournerThirteen Posts: 28,204 Member
    Oh, and that Super Glue is really a gimmick... I'll show you. Just put a lot on your hands and place them over your ears and hold them there for 5 mins. The crap won't hold. Trust me!
  • thefatveganchef
    thefatveganchef Posts: 89 Member
    mrsmartinez99 wrote: »
    Flirting with a cop will get you out of a ticket, remember to unbutton your shirt a little
    ...especially if you are a guy.
  • techgal128
    techgal128 Posts: 719 Member
    AntRobertson wrote: »
    If at first you don't succeed just give up, because that *kitten*'s hard.

    Buahahaha. I like this one.
  • mrsmartinez99
    mrsmartinez99 Posts: 1,255 Member
    Remember to post on Facebook when you are on vacation, don't forget to leave the exact moment you will return.

    **Also remember to post the picture of your new big screen TV, everyone will be envious.
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