Bad advice thread

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Replies

  • CiclistaVal
    CiclistaVal Posts: 221 Member
    If something you say doesn't make sense to someone, just say it louder and louder until it clicks.
  • CiclistaVal
    CiclistaVal Posts: 221 Member
    If you keep weaving in and out of heavily congested traffic through all 5 lines on the highway, you get to your destination faster.
  • CiclistaVal
    CiclistaVal Posts: 221 Member
    It's a great idea to blast your headlights while tailgating. That way the driver in front of you will acknowledge your existence.
  • CiclistaVal
    CiclistaVal Posts: 221 Member
    If you get an e-mail from the prince of Nigeria, asking if you'd like to hold onto 7 million dollars, it is probably legitimate.
  • SojournerThirteen
    SojournerThirteen Posts: 28,204 Member
    People go to chill on the beach on Siberia, Russia every day... Most popular Spring Break location in Asia
  • Sparky_1113
    Sparky_1113 Posts: 2,886 Member
    Hold this,, what?? Of course I turned the power off...
  • SojournerThirteen
    SojournerThirteen Posts: 28,204 Member
    RichardTrenchard wrote: »
    Hold this,, what?? Of course I turned the power off...

    LOL
  • SojournerThirteen
    SojournerThirteen Posts: 28,204 Member
    Of course all small cars float--they have 4 tires filled with all air
  • Sparky_1113
    Sparky_1113 Posts: 2,886 Member
    Thats the mens showers, thats sign means women can NOT go in there
  • cblue315
    cblue315 Posts: 3,836 Member
    Doing a tune up on your car is easy, anyone can do it.
  • SojournerThirteen
    SojournerThirteen Posts: 28,204 Member
    Forget Ethanol, just poor corn syrup into your tank and skip all those greedy middlemen
  • jorinya
    jorinya Posts: 933 Member
    CiclistaVal wrote: »
    If you get an e-mail from the prince of Nigeria, asking if you'd like to hold onto 7 million dollars, it is probably legitimate.

    @CiclistaVal, I live in Nigeria. There is more than one prince, each and every village has their own king or chief. Beside those guys actually most times live outside Nigeria. If they are caught doing 419 here, they are kicked out of whatever house they are in and sent out. I would NOT open the email because of malware. Run antivirus especially if there is an attachment. Delete.

    Worst advice: Open the email, nothing will happen. There is no such thing as cyber crime. Store all your credit card details on your computer, your social security number and all your personal information that you don't want anyone to know. The internet cannot be hacked. Its just a myth.
  • Sparky_1113
    Sparky_1113 Posts: 2,886 Member
    The boss heard what you said, best go and appoligize for it before he calls you to HR
  • blueyellowhorse
    blueyellowhorse Posts: 708 Member
    don't wash your hands after you use the bathroom, because that can dry your hands out.
  • blueyellowhorse
    blueyellowhorse Posts: 708 Member
    it's totally okay to pick up the soap
  • tat2cookie
    tat2cookie Posts: 1,899 Member
    Always talk about your dream wedding and the name of your imaginary kids on your first date. Dudes love that stuff. Then be sure to call and text him nonstop for 3 days. Because He obviously must be in trouble, make sure you find out where he lives and peak though all his windows. After realizing that he's not home, knowing that he must be on another date with some *kitten*, break in and wait for him. Go through all of his stuff while you wait. Around 4am when he's still not home, and you have properly written your name with his last name all over his walls, you start his bed on fire because it's obvious that you were meant to be and he is just confused. As you are being hauled off by the cops, now this is important, you need to scream your undying love for him and tell him and you won't stop until you are together. Guys really REALLY love that!!
  • jorinya
    jorinya Posts: 933 Member
    Women really like a man that doesn't take care of himself. Make sure you have really stinky and hairy armpits, the smellier the better. Never brush your teeth and always make sure you have food stuck between your teeth and smelt breath, sardines are a turn on. Never cut your hair or shave and leave bits of food in your beard. Dress in really smelly clothes when you go to meet her parents and don't forget to belch and fart a lot. That shows you love her mothers food. Slap her mum on the bum and say "I'll show you a good time". Insult her dad and tell him how many times you are sleeping with his daughter. Sleep with all her friends and get one of them pregnant. She would love her to be bridesmaid at your wedding. When you marry her, beat her around the same time every day for about 20 mins, nice work out for you. Treat her like dirt. Call her fat and a slut and then leave her high and dry. Best way to treat a woman!!!
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
    When taking a woman out on the first date, skip all of the romance and drive right to the motel -- she will appreciate you saving money on dinner and a movie and like your spontaneity going right to the main event -- she will be even more appreciative if you tell her that you are going to try and get her pregnant -- that will save you both on the dating, courtship, and honeymoon and move right along to the starting a family.
  • tat2cookie
    tat2cookie Posts: 1,899 Member
    When getting pulled over make sure you lick the cops face when you hand him your license and registration.
  • SallyinIL
    SallyinIL Posts: 85 Member
    Coconut oil makes a great deodorant.
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
    After running, Bikram yoga, or spinning class a shower is never needed - everyone else loves to have you drip sweat on them and smell your wonderful earthy aroma
  • CoffeeNBooze
    CoffeeNBooze Posts: 966 Member
    If your date from the other night is not texting you back, it is code for 'try harder,' .. they really just want to make sure you're serious because they've been hurt so many times.
  • jorinya
    jorinya Posts: 933 Member
    Always leave the toilet seat up after you when you go to your girlfriend's house and pee on the floor. She will love to smell your scent and it will keep other males away from your territory. When you go toilet, don't flush and leave her a nice smelly present. She will adore you for it.
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
    Women don't need to shave, men appreciate the natural look of your hairy body parts - also, to get men to really appreciate your natural appearance, don't bath more than once a week and never wear deodorant or perfume
  • yourradimradletshug
    yourradimradletshug Posts: 964 Member
    You don't need to use your turn signal. The people in the other lanes can read your mind so they know you plan on swerving over.
  • JONZ64
    JONZ64 Posts: 1,280 Member
    you can get 2 or 3 more reps at the end of a set if you scream "IMAHOOKAH!"
  • kjm3579
    kjm3579 Posts: 3,974 Member
    Don't worry about those annoying bills that you get in the mail -- the money you get paid is for you to enjoy and there is no reason to give it to the mortgage company and the utilities.
  • mojohowitz
    mojohowitz Posts: 900 Member
    You should check out the MFP forums.
  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
    Be nice
  • TheLegendaryBrandonHarris
    TheLegendaryBrandonHarris Posts: 502 Member
    Cash in your retirement account to write a biography on the life of Pauly Shore.
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