Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
Replies
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pofoster21 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Thanks everyone for the kind words after the loss of our dog last night, especially since I haven't been posting in here lately (had to give it up because I wasn't getting any work done ). It's been a sad day here.
I think the hardest thing is how sudden it was, and that we don't know what happened.
And I apologize for my role in the argument last night. Even though I don't get to come in here much, the thread still means a lot.
I am so sorry about your dog. That is so sad. I have yet to lose a pet unexpectedly. While planning a loss is equally painful, at least you have a chance to say goodbye.
And sorry...judging here... I only stopped by briefly thursday night, but we don't fight, we don't argue, and we don't judge (which I am doing) but you weren't alone. Let's just let it go and remember...we are here to help each other with weight loss and maybe a lot of emotional support. Anything else... should be taken off line.
Ouch, that actually is hurtful. I don't know how much you read, but my role was small...2 sentences and I let it drop, and apologized. And I never even took a side.
But that's ok. I've been mostly a lurker in here, and I've been unable to come in often. The last couple of days have really soured the experience in here, so you don't have to worry about me coming back. I wish everyone the best, and I mean that.
Sorry, I am reading backwards (which I always do) but I was sad when I popped in the other night to see an argument brewing... It has nothing to do with you...and actually, you should come back. The other night was a COMPLETE abberation...trust me. Don't leave. Please. The "judging" was a general comment. I'll leave before anyone else does if my comments hurt people. I just love this thread, and want it to be the supportive group it has always been (general comment...not about you personally).
No, you should not leave. You are one of the reasons I still come in here. And the last two days have been hard emotionally, so I am probably being overly sensitive. But you can't leave
Don't you hate it when people say they aren't coming back, and then do? I know it looks bad on me, but I couldn't have you thinking this was about you. It definitely is not.
Actually I COUNT on people coming back after they are saying they are not. Otherwise I wouldn't have posted.
Sooo. I got to Thursday night and whatever the argument was about (to me anything political is like TV shows or Ice Cream, i just ignore it) and decided 1) I am tired. 2) Who cares???? 3) I don't want to know.
So I am done with history. I am moving on. Only responding to anything going forward. Escaping to the bat cave now to post my Grand Canyon pics! They are GORGEOUS!0 -
MelissaPhippsFeagins wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Hi all just stopping by again to make sure you don't forget me and to say I am not dead...
I am in Wellsboro PA home of the Pennsylvania Grand Canyon. Google it. Its gorgeous. I have a very hilly 1/2 marathon here today. I have been taking tons of pics for y'all. Will post when I get to my computer. I'll catch up with everyone tonight and I miss you all! HAPPY SATURDAY!
Happy Saturday! Good luck at your 1/2! I'm up bright and early (ugh) to do my (less impressive) 5k lol.
It was tempting to sleep in, nobody IRL would care if I came to the run or not, but I thought of how supportive everyone one is here and that got my butt out of bed. So thanks everyone! (I think
)
Good luck today POF!!!
Thanks! I had a GREAT day! So... race report (cause I know you all are DYING to hear this!):
The course is beautiful. I will post a ton of pictures in the bat cave after catching up but will also include a few at the end of this post.
It starts at the rim of the "Grand Canyon" of Pennsylvania, and they run you around a bit up there before running you down hill for about 4 - 5 miles then turn you around and run you back uphill. The day was a bit chilly at 5:30 in the AM on the rim, but once you started running you warmed up fast! I started out pretty strong (especially given my friend and I did the trail path down to the bottom of the canyon the day before and it really took a toll on my quads and knees the day before). But after mile 3 I really felt great. The day started with a mist, which you will see in the pics, and it was gorgeous. I stopped at mile 4 where there was a lookout to take some pics. The day was sunny, sky blue, not too hot, and the scenery was just incredible.
I finished in 2:09 (which should have been 2:05 except for a 4 min porta potty stop, which I could have skipped but figured I wasn't really running for time anyway), which on the course with the small crowd, earned me 3rd place in my age group. Woo hoo! My friend also did really well as well, she was 6th in her age group. Then we had a nice drive home and when I got home I was restless (never get home at 5 on a saturday) so decided to walk the 2.6 miles to the grocery store and liquor store and 'earn' a glass (or 2) of wine tonight while I catch up on here.
So for my fitbit challenge friends means I have nearly 40K steps today!
Pics:
Canyon Rim (day before race):
Race site in AM:
Mile 4 on course:
Me with finishers medal and my 3rd place award:
ETA: I can't believe I forgot this part! So my NSV in my 260 day logging streak... Yesterday at the race expo, I was buying a new reflective vest to be able to run early am/late pm (to keep my motivation commitments) and the guy sized me up and said 'you're pretty petite you may not need...". PRETTY PETITE! OMG. No one has EVER called me that. I wanted to kiss him. My friend, who is ALWAYS petite, just rolled her eyes when I turned to her and said...Did you hear what he said?????????????????????????
Congrats on 3rd place AND being officially petite!
THANKS! Being called PETITE was WAY better than 3rd place.
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pofoster21 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »I think this thread is rubbing off on me IRL. My co worker had a new shirt and capris on today and I actually told her that she looked super great in them
I say 'super' all the time. This weekend my friend made fun of me for saying it (I had NEVER said it before this thread). I lied about how I started saying it... she wouldn't understand.
What did you say?0 -
@pofoster21 the pics look incredible & great job coming in third place for your age group!
Also super great step count for the day.0 -
@pofoster21 that race site is breathtakingly beautiful... almost makes me want to take up running. Congrats on 3rd place!
You look tiny to me, and I'm not seeing Irish peasant arms
I'd describe your build as "slight".
At the end of our first date my SO hugged me and exclaimed, "You're just an itty bitty thing!" Being 5'9 I'm more Amazon than itty bitty but I kinda fell for him a little when he said that.
@MelissaPhippsFeagins oops, I completely forgot you are GF when making those suggestions!0 -
FluffySandwich wrote: »
....MelissaPhippsFeagins wrote: »Confession: the next time I mow the back yard, I am definitely buying myself ice cream. This yogurt and grapes just isn't doing the trick.
Ice cream flavor suggestions that don't involve coconut, birthday cake or cookie dough are welcomed.
Well that's a tough one, considering Birthday Cake is my new favourite flavour for pretty much everything.
Cappuccino? Dulce de leche? Some kind of cheesecake + fruit flavour? The oh-so-trendy red velvet?
Well, I know what I'll be picking up this week! While I'm not the biggest fan of birthday cake, for some reason I love birthday cake flavored ice cream
Oddly enough, I'm not crazy about birthday cake either (but will I refuse a slice? Noooooo) and I love cake-flavoured things. My favourite pop tart variety is Confetti Cake.0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »I've had a successful week with eating well and exercising, but my food scale has disappeared.
ETA: Found it. Crisis averted.
I think my mom chooses not to lose weight so that she has something to complain about. Personally, I would like her to not have a stroke or heart attack (she's a smoker) and die, but whatever.
@Lefty1290 welcome back! You've been gone a while (and if you have been back the last 2 days, I have been gone so, this is new to me! Glad to have you back).
Thanks. I took a break from MFP after vacation and decided I was ready to get back on the horse. Ready to get these last few pounds off, it'll be a year in September since I started.0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »Confession: I have not been pushing myself as much as I feel I should with the exercise because, I feel I am scared to see the results. If that makes any sense?? I have lived in this fat suit for so long now, it's like my personal protective gear. I want to lose this weight, but I think I am a bit scared to see the actual results.
To be honest, I have heard this is not an unusual reaction. Because... and please don't take this the wrong way... weight is armor. You can hide behind it. I can't remember who early on said that when they were heavy the were not noticed, and when they lost weight, people smiled at them, opened doors for them, etc.
Its a cover. You can hide behind it. Be invisible. But you know what? WHY do you want to be invisible. Accept people suck. You don't. So look in the mirror. Be proud of what you have accomplished. And just plain of who you are. Whether you ever lose the weight or not... you have to be happy with yourself. I would guess if you are afraid of losing the weight...because you are afraid of who you will be when you lose the weight...because you are afraid of being noticed... you need to realize weight is window dressing. We all think you are terrific. I think you are married... I imagine he thinks you are terrific. Your dogs (if you have them) probably think you are terrific. I know my cats and horses think I am terrific. Just find yourself (at whatever weight) and realize you are a super great person. It took me 47 years to realize that. And I am sad it did. But I did. And you can too. And if being 125 makes you happy or 225 makes you happy (and healthy... please be healthy) then that is where you need to be.
Thank you Patricia, I appreciate the words of support and kindness. I have dealt with weight most of my life, but have been at a normal weight more than half my life. As we are fond of saying, I wish I weighed what I did when I thought I was fat before. (That was a healthy 135, then). I am still making my way through this process and realizing that I am doing this for me and no one else. My feelings about what I am doing and how I need to go about treating myself to get there are the only ones that matter. We are pretty close in age, so I can understand how you feel about it taking so long to realize what you needed to do. Baby steps, just keep on taking them.
Yep, and I have been overweight most of my life. My 'thin' periods I can count on one hand. Seriously. I have been active most of my adult life, but 'thin' hardly ever and mostly because of an unsustainable diet. I have never been "super" heavy, but have had a lot of weight on my body. Because I hated myself. I was an unattractive, awkward, unhappy kid who was surrounded by gorgeous OR genius OR successful OR both people. Being generally good at a lot of things, but not great (or super smart) at anything, plus being a middle child in a familly of 5, was really hard. Seriously. I know it sounds crazy (seriously crazy) but talking to all of you finally made me realize I am ok. Not for any reason except none of you have a SINGLE expectation of me. And frankly, until today's picture, had never seen me (except in the batcave). So there was no preconceived notions. Or expectations. And learning about why people hate people who are always late (I try not to be now), why people binge eat, struggles with family, sisters, parents, ,etc. have finally made me realize...I am not a freak. And to have a better understanding of people in general. So yes, I am a work in progress, but I am finally starting to figure out I like who I am .... whatever I look like (facially or weigh wise). Plus.. I have killer taste in shoes. That counts for something. 0 -
@pofoster21 that race site is breathtakingly beautiful... almost makes me want to take up running. Congrats on 3rd place!
You look tiny to me, and I'm not seeing Irish peasant arms I'd describe your build as "slight".
At the end of our first date my SO hugged me and exclaimed, "You're just an itty bitty thing!" Being 5'9 I'm more Amazon than itty bitty but I kinda fell for him a little when he said that.
@MelissaPhippsFeagins oops, I completely forgot you are GF when making those suggestions!
SECRET: If a guy told me I was tiny... I would be lost. Seriously.0 -
Italian_Buju wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »I think this thread is rubbing off on me IRL. My co worker had a new shirt and capris on today and I actually told her that she looked super great in them
I say 'super' all the time. This weekend my friend made fun of me for saying it (I had NEVER said it before this thread). I lied about how I started saying it... she wouldn't understand.
What did you say?
That I saw this Shark GIF about how faces are super great...I'd have to send it to her. I never said WHERE.
She is a bit weird about my obsession with you guys.
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pofoster21 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Confession: I have not been pushing myself as much as I feel I should with the exercise because, I feel I am scared to see the results. If that makes any sense?? I have lived in this fat suit for so long now, it's like my personal protective gear. I want to lose this weight, but I think I am a bit scared to see the actual results.
To be honest, I have heard this is not an unusual reaction. Because... and please don't take this the wrong way... weight is armor. You can hide behind it. I can't remember who early on said that when they were heavy the were not noticed, and when they lost weight, people smiled at them, opened doors for them, etc.
Its a cover. You can hide behind it. Be invisible. But you know what? WHY do you want to be invisible. Accept people suck. You don't. So look in the mirror. Be proud of what you have accomplished. And just plain of who you are. Whether you ever lose the weight or not... you have to be happy with yourself. I would guess if you are afraid of losing the weight...because you are afraid of who you will be when you lose the weight...because you are afraid of being noticed... you need to realize weight is window dressing. We all think you are terrific. I think you are married... I imagine he thinks you are terrific. Your dogs (if you have them) probably think you are terrific. I know my cats and horses think I am terrific. Just find yourself (at whatever weight) and realize you are a super great person. It took me 47 years to realize that. And I am sad it did. But I did. And you can too. And if being 125 makes you happy or 225 makes you happy (and healthy... please be healthy) then that is where you need to be.
Thank you Patricia, I appreciate the words of support and kindness. I have dealt with weight most of my life, but have been at a normal weight more than half my life. As we are fond of saying, I wish I weighed what I did when I thought I was fat before. (That was a healthy 135, then). I am still making my way through this process and realizing that I am doing this for me and no one else. My feelings about what I am doing and how I need to go about treating myself to get there are the only ones that matter. We are pretty close in age, so I can understand how you feel about it taking so long to realize what you needed to do. Baby steps, just keep on taking them.
Yep, and I have been overweight most of my life. My 'thin' periods I can count on one hand. Seriously. I have been active most of my adult life, but 'thin' hardly ever and mostly because of an unsustainable diet. I have never been "super" heavy, but have had a lot of weight on my body. Because I hated myself. I was an unattractive, awkward, unhappy kid who was surrounded by gorgeous OR genius OR successful OR both people. Being generally good at a lot of things, but not great (or super smart) at anything, plus being a middle child in a familly of 5, was really hard. Seriously. I know it sounds crazy (seriously crazy) but talking to all of you finally made me realize I am ok. Not for any reason except none of you have a SINGLE expectation of me. And frankly, until today's picture, had never seen me (except in the batcave). So there was no preconceived notions. Or expectations. And learning about why people hate people who are always late (I try not to be now), why people binge eat, struggles with family, sisters, parents, ,etc. have finally made me realize...I am not a freak. And to have a better understanding of people in general. So yes, I am a work in progress, but I am finally starting to figure out I like who I am .... whatever I look like (facially or weigh wise). Plus.. I have killer taste in shoes. That counts for something.
I like who you are too!0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »I've had a successful week with eating well and exercising, but my food scale has disappeared.
ETA: Found it. Crisis averted.
I think my mom chooses not to lose weight so that she has something to complain about. Personally, I would like her to not have a stroke or heart attack (she's a smoker) and die, but whatever.
@Lefty1290 welcome back! You've been gone a while (and if you have been back the last 2 days, I have been gone so, this is new to me! Glad to have you back).
Thanks. I took a break from MFP after vacation and decided I was ready to get back on the horse. Ready to get these last few pounds off, it'll be a year in September since I started.
Well welcome back and I started in Oct so we are close to time spent. We missed you. 0 -
Italian_Buju wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Confession: I have not been pushing myself as much as I feel I should with the exercise because, I feel I am scared to see the results. If that makes any sense?? I have lived in this fat suit for so long now, it's like my personal protective gear. I want to lose this weight, but I think I am a bit scared to see the actual results.
To be honest, I have heard this is not an unusual reaction. Because... and please don't take this the wrong way... weight is armor. You can hide behind it. I can't remember who early on said that when they were heavy the were not noticed, and when they lost weight, people smiled at them, opened doors for them, etc.
Its a cover. You can hide behind it. Be invisible. But you know what? WHY do you want to be invisible. Accept people suck. You don't. So look in the mirror. Be proud of what you have accomplished. And just plain of who you are. Whether you ever lose the weight or not... you have to be happy with yourself. I would guess if you are afraid of losing the weight...because you are afraid of who you will be when you lose the weight...because you are afraid of being noticed... you need to realize weight is window dressing. We all think you are terrific. I think you are married... I imagine he thinks you are terrific. Your dogs (if you have them) probably think you are terrific. I know my cats and horses think I am terrific. Just find yourself (at whatever weight) and realize you are a super great person. It took me 47 years to realize that. And I am sad it did. But I did. And you can too. And if being 125 makes you happy or 225 makes you happy (and healthy... please be healthy) then that is where you need to be.
Thank you Patricia, I appreciate the words of support and kindness. I have dealt with weight most of my life, but have been at a normal weight more than half my life. As we are fond of saying, I wish I weighed what I did when I thought I was fat before. (That was a healthy 135, then). I am still making my way through this process and realizing that I am doing this for me and no one else. My feelings about what I am doing and how I need to go about treating myself to get there are the only ones that matter. We are pretty close in age, so I can understand how you feel about it taking so long to realize what you needed to do. Baby steps, just keep on taking them.
Yep, and I have been overweight most of my life. My 'thin' periods I can count on one hand. Seriously. I have been active most of my adult life, but 'thin' hardly ever and mostly because of an unsustainable diet. I have never been "super" heavy, but have had a lot of weight on my body. Because I hated myself. I was an unattractive, awkward, unhappy kid who was surrounded by gorgeous OR genius OR successful OR both people. Being generally good at a lot of things, but not great (or super smart) at anything, plus being a middle child in a familly of 5, was really hard. Seriously. I know it sounds crazy (seriously crazy) but talking to all of you finally made me realize I am ok. Not for any reason except none of you have a SINGLE expectation of me. And frankly, until today's picture, had never seen me (except in the batcave). So there was no preconceived notions. Or expectations. And learning about why people hate people who are always late (I try not to be now), why people binge eat, struggles with family, sisters, parents, ,etc. have finally made me realize...I am not a freak. And to have a better understanding of people in general. So yes, I am a work in progress, but I am finally starting to figure out I like who I am .... whatever I look like (facially or weigh wise). Plus.. I have killer taste in shoes. That counts for something.
I like who you are too!
Aww thanks. That actually made me tear up (maybe the BOTTLE of wine I 'earned' tonight could be contributing to that). But hey, its a recovery drink!0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Confession: I have not been pushing myself as much as I feel I should with the exercise because, I feel I am scared to see the results. If that makes any sense?? I have lived in this fat suit for so long now, it's like my personal protective gear. I want to lose this weight, but I think I am a bit scared to see the actual results.
To be honest, I have heard this is not an unusual reaction. Because... and please don't take this the wrong way... weight is armor. You can hide behind it. I can't remember who early on said that when they were heavy the were not noticed, and when they lost weight, people smiled at them, opened doors for them, etc.
Its a cover. You can hide behind it. Be invisible. But you know what? WHY do you want to be invisible. Accept people suck. You don't. So look in the mirror. Be proud of what you have accomplished. And just plain of who you are. Whether you ever lose the weight or not... you have to be happy with yourself. I would guess if you are afraid of losing the weight...because you are afraid of who you will be when you lose the weight...because you are afraid of being noticed... you need to realize weight is window dressing. We all think you are terrific. I think you are married... I imagine he thinks you are terrific. Your dogs (if you have them) probably think you are terrific. I know my cats and horses think I am terrific. Just find yourself (at whatever weight) and realize you are a super great person. It took me 47 years to realize that. And I am sad it did. But I did. And you can too. And if being 125 makes you happy or 225 makes you happy (and healthy... please be healthy) then that is where you need to be.
Thank you Patricia, I appreciate the words of support and kindness. I have dealt with weight most of my life, but have been at a normal weight more than half my life. As we are fond of saying, I wish I weighed what I did when I thought I was fat before. (That was a healthy 135, then). I am still making my way through this process and realizing that I am doing this for me and no one else. My feelings about what I am doing and how I need to go about treating myself to get there are the only ones that matter. We are pretty close in age, so I can understand how you feel about it taking so long to realize what you needed to do. Baby steps, just keep on taking them.
Yep, and I have been overweight most of my life. My 'thin' periods I can count on one hand. Seriously. I have been active most of my adult life, but 'thin' hardly ever and mostly because of an unsustainable diet. I have never been "super" heavy, but have had a lot of weight on my body. Because I hated myself. I was an unattractive, awkward, unhappy kid who was surrounded by gorgeous OR genius OR successful OR both people. Being generally good at a lot of things, but not great (or super smart) at anything, plus being a middle child in a familly of 5, was really hard. Seriously. I know it sounds crazy (seriously crazy) but talking to all of you finally made me realize I am ok. Not for any reason except none of you have a SINGLE expectation of me. And frankly, until today's picture, had never seen me (except in the batcave). So there was no preconceived notions. Or expectations. And learning about why people hate people who are always late (I try not to be now), why people binge eat, struggles with family, sisters, parents, ,etc. have finally made me realize...I am not a freak. And to have a better understanding of people in general. So yes, I am a work in progress, but I am finally starting to figure out I like who I am .... whatever I look like (facially or weigh wise). Plus.. I have killer taste in shoes. That counts for something.
Honestly? And not in a "this is the Confessions Thread Club so I'm being kind/supportive" way... I'm completely bewildered as to why you would ever have thought yourself unattractive.
You're VERY pretty... nice, even features... I'll assume you weren't all dolled up for the race so that pic is au naturel... it may be a cliche, but you have a Girl Next Door prettiness and -- even better -- you have the kind of looks that will age really well.
All of which counts for more than killer taste in shoes. 0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Confession: I have not been pushing myself as much as I feel I should with the exercise because, I feel I am scared to see the results. If that makes any sense?? I have lived in this fat suit for so long now, it's like my personal protective gear. I want to lose this weight, but I think I am a bit scared to see the actual results.
To be honest, I have heard this is not an unusual reaction. Because... and please don't take this the wrong way... weight is armor. You can hide behind it. I can't remember who early on said that when they were heavy the were not noticed, and when they lost weight, people smiled at them, opened doors for them, etc.
Its a cover. You can hide behind it. Be invisible. But you know what? WHY do you want to be invisible. Accept people suck. You don't. So look in the mirror. Be proud of what you have accomplished. And just plain of who you are. Whether you ever lose the weight or not... you have to be happy with yourself. I would guess if you are afraid of losing the weight...because you are afraid of who you will be when you lose the weight...because you are afraid of being noticed... you need to realize weight is window dressing. We all think you are terrific. I think you are married... I imagine he thinks you are terrific. Your dogs (if you have them) probably think you are terrific. I know my cats and horses think I am terrific. Just find yourself (at whatever weight) and realize you are a super great person. It took me 47 years to realize that. And I am sad it did. But I did. And you can too. And if being 125 makes you happy or 225 makes you happy (and healthy... please be healthy) then that is where you need to be.
Thank you Patricia, I appreciate the words of support and kindness. I have dealt with weight most of my life, but have been at a normal weight more than half my life. As we are fond of saying, I wish I weighed what I did when I thought I was fat before. (That was a healthy 135, then). I am still making my way through this process and realizing that I am doing this for me and no one else. My feelings about what I am doing and how I need to go about treating myself to get there are the only ones that matter. We are pretty close in age, so I can understand how you feel about it taking so long to realize what you needed to do. Baby steps, just keep on taking them.
Yep, and I have been overweight most of my life. My 'thin' periods I can count on one hand. Seriously. I have been active most of my adult life, but 'thin' hardly ever and mostly because of an unsustainable diet. I have never been "super" heavy, but have had a lot of weight on my body. Because I hated myself. I was an unattractive, awkward, unhappy kid who was surrounded by gorgeous OR genius OR successful OR both people. Being generally good at a lot of things, but not great (or super smart) at anything, plus being a middle child in a familly of 5, was really hard. Seriously. I know it sounds crazy (seriously crazy) but talking to all of you finally made me realize I am ok. Not for any reason except none of you have a SINGLE expectation of me. And frankly, until today's picture, had never seen me (except in the batcave). So there was no preconceived notions. Or expectations. And learning about why people hate people who are always late (I try not to be now), why people binge eat, struggles with family, sisters, parents, ,etc. have finally made me realize...I am not a freak. And to have a better understanding of people in general. So yes, I am a work in progress, but I am finally starting to figure out I like who I am .... whatever I look like (facially or weigh wise). Plus.. I have killer taste in shoes. That counts for something.
Honestly? And not in a "this is the Confessions Thread Club so I'm being kind/supportive" way... I'm completely bewildered as to why you would ever have thought yourself unattractive.
You're VERY pretty... nice, even features... I'll assume you weren't all dolled up for the race so that pic is au naturel... it may be a cliche, but you have a Girl Next Door prettiness and -- even better -- you have the kind of looks that will age really well.
All of which counts for more than killer taste in shoes.
You are nuts. But ... whatever... I 'heart' you. I won't go into my litany of physical issues. but I have finally learned not to care. And hey... SOMEONE CALLED ME PETITE yesterday. I may take that to my watery grave. 0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Confession: I have not been pushing myself as much as I feel I should with the exercise because, I feel I am scared to see the results. If that makes any sense?? I have lived in this fat suit for so long now, it's like my personal protective gear. I want to lose this weight, but I think I am a bit scared to see the actual results.
To be honest, I have heard this is not an unusual reaction. Because... and please don't take this the wrong way... weight is armor. You can hide behind it. I can't remember who early on said that when they were heavy the were not noticed, and when they lost weight, people smiled at them, opened doors for them, etc.
Its a cover. You can hide behind it. Be invisible. But you know what? WHY do you want to be invisible. Accept people suck. You don't. So look in the mirror. Be proud of what you have accomplished. And just plain of who you are. Whether you ever lose the weight or not... you have to be happy with yourself. I would guess if you are afraid of losing the weight...because you are afraid of who you will be when you lose the weight...because you are afraid of being noticed... you need to realize weight is window dressing. We all think you are terrific. I think you are married... I imagine he thinks you are terrific. Your dogs (if you have them) probably think you are terrific. I know my cats and horses think I am terrific. Just find yourself (at whatever weight) and realize you are a super great person. It took me 47 years to realize that. And I am sad it did. But I did. And you can too. And if being 125 makes you happy or 225 makes you happy (and healthy... please be healthy) then that is where you need to be.
Thank you Patricia, I appreciate the words of support and kindness. I have dealt with weight most of my life, but have been at a normal weight more than half my life. As we are fond of saying, I wish I weighed what I did when I thought I was fat before. (That was a healthy 135, then). I am still making my way through this process and realizing that I am doing this for me and no one else. My feelings about what I am doing and how I need to go about treating myself to get there are the only ones that matter. We are pretty close in age, so I can understand how you feel about it taking so long to realize what you needed to do. Baby steps, just keep on taking them.
Yep, and I have been overweight most of my life. My 'thin' periods I can count on one hand. Seriously. I have been active most of my adult life, but 'thin' hardly ever and mostly because of an unsustainable diet. I have never been "super" heavy, but have had a lot of weight on my body. Because I hated myself. I was an unattractive, awkward, unhappy kid who was surrounded by gorgeous OR genius OR successful OR both people. Being generally good at a lot of things, but not great (or super smart) at anything, plus being a middle child in a familly of 5, was really hard. Seriously. I know it sounds crazy (seriously crazy) but talking to all of you finally made me realize I am ok. Not for any reason except none of you have a SINGLE expectation of me. And frankly, until today's picture, had never seen me (except in the batcave). So there was no preconceived notions. Or expectations. And learning about why people hate people who are always late (I try not to be now), why people binge eat, struggles with family, sisters, parents, ,etc. have finally made me realize...I am not a freak. And to have a better understanding of people in general. So yes, I am a work in progress, but I am finally starting to figure out I like who I am .... whatever I look like (facially or weigh wise). Plus.. I have killer taste in shoes. That counts for something.
Honestly? And not in a "this is the Confessions Thread Club so I'm being kind/supportive" way... I'm completely bewildered as to why you would ever have thought yourself unattractive.
You're VERY pretty... nice, even features... I'll assume you weren't all dolled up for the race so that pic is au naturel... it may be a cliche, but you have a Girl Next Door prettiness and -- even better -- you have the kind of looks that will age really well.
All of which counts for more than killer taste in shoes.
I agree, I thought the same thing when I first saw her!0 -
Just checking in and wanted to quickly say
@berlynnwall sure hope your mom makes a quick recovery and your sister is beyond my comprehension. Sorry you have to endure all her garbage
@pofoster21 you are beautiful. Physically and on the inside. Your personality shines through in all your posts and I am a fan!
@raelynnsmama52512 good luck with the house!
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I am just starting the first episode of Last Comic Standing.
The first comic was great!!
I am sad that Russell Peters did not come back!!0 -
I remember a while back you guys were talking about plantar something or other where your feet hurt like a buggar. Well I went to the dr the other day because my one foot hurts like crazy all the time. I just thought it was because I was walking so much more than I had done previously. Nope apparently I have this in my left foot.
Does using a tensor bandage help any cause it is really painful?0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Confession: I have not been pushing myself as much as I feel I should with the exercise because, I feel I am scared to see the results. If that makes any sense?? I have lived in this fat suit for so long now, it's like my personal protective gear. I want to lose this weight, but I think I am a bit scared to see the actual results.
To be honest, I have heard this is not an unusual reaction. Because... and please don't take this the wrong way... weight is armor. You can hide behind it. I can't remember who early on said that when they were heavy the were not noticed, and when they lost weight, people smiled at them, opened doors for them, etc.
Its a cover. You can hide behind it. Be invisible. But you know what? WHY do you want to be invisible. Accept people suck. You don't. So look in the mirror. Be proud of what you have accomplished. And just plain of who you are. Whether you ever lose the weight or not... you have to be happy with yourself. I would guess if you are afraid of losing the weight...because you are afraid of who you will be when you lose the weight...because you are afraid of being noticed... you need to realize weight is window dressing. We all think you are terrific. I think you are married... I imagine he thinks you are terrific. Your dogs (if you have them) probably think you are terrific. I know my cats and horses think I am terrific. Just find yourself (at whatever weight) and realize you are a super great person. It took me 47 years to realize that. And I am sad it did. But I did. And you can too. And if being 125 makes you happy or 225 makes you happy (and healthy... please be healthy) then that is where you need to be.
Thank you Patricia, I appreciate the words of support and kindness. I have dealt with weight most of my life, but have been at a normal weight more than half my life. As we are fond of saying, I wish I weighed what I did when I thought I was fat before. (That was a healthy 135, then). I am still making my way through this process and realizing that I am doing this for me and no one else. My feelings about what I am doing and how I need to go about treating myself to get there are the only ones that matter. We are pretty close in age, so I can understand how you feel about it taking so long to realize what you needed to do. Baby steps, just keep on taking them.
Yep, and I have been overweight most of my life. My 'thin' periods I can count on one hand. Seriously. I have been active most of my adult life, but 'thin' hardly ever and mostly because of an unsustainable diet. I have never been "super" heavy, but have had a lot of weight on my body. Because I hated myself. I was an unattractive, awkward, unhappy kid who was surrounded by gorgeous OR genius OR successful OR both people. Being generally good at a lot of things, but not great (or super smart) at anything, plus being a middle child in a familly of 5, was really hard. Seriously. I know it sounds crazy (seriously crazy) but talking to all of you finally made me realize I am ok. Not for any reason except none of you have a SINGLE expectation of me. And frankly, until today's picture, had never seen me (except in the batcave). So there was no preconceived notions. Or expectations. And learning about why people hate people who are always late (I try not to be now), why people binge eat, struggles with family, sisters, parents, ,etc. have finally made me realize...I am not a freak. And to have a better understanding of people in general. So yes, I am a work in progress, but I am finally starting to figure out I like who I am .... whatever I look like (facially or weigh wise). Plus.. I have killer taste in shoes. That counts for something.
Honestly? And not in a "this is the Confessions Thread Club so I'm being kind/supportive" way... I'm completely bewildered as to why you would ever have thought yourself unattractive.
You're VERY pretty... nice, even features... I'll assume you weren't all dolled up for the race so that pic is au naturel... it may be a cliche, but you have a Girl Next Door prettiness and -- even better -- you have the kind of looks that will age really well.
All of which counts for more than killer taste in shoes.
You are nuts. But ... whatever... I 'heart' you. I won't go into my litany of physical issues. but I have finally learned not to care. And hey... SOMEONE CALLED ME PETITE yesterday. I may take that to my watery grave.
If someone called me petite it would probably put me in my watery grave!0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »I've had a successful week with eating well and exercising, but my food scale has disappeared.
ETA: Found it. Crisis averted.
I think my mom chooses not to lose weight so that she has something to complain about. Personally, I would like her to not have a stroke or heart attack (she's a smoker) and die, but whatever.
@Lefty1290 welcome back! You've been gone a while (and if you have been back the last 2 days, I have been gone so, this is new to me! Glad to have you back).
Thanks. I took a break from MFP after vacation and decided I was ready to get back on the horse. Ready to get these last few pounds off, it'll be a year in September since I started.
Well welcome back and I started in Oct so we are close to time spent. We missed you.
Welcome back!0 -
riderfangal wrote: »I remember a while back you guys were talking about plantar something or other where your feet hurt like a buggar. Well I went to the dr the other day because my one foot hurts like crazy all the time. I just thought it was because I was walking so much more than I had done previously. Nope apparently I have this in my left foot.
Does using a tensor bandage help any cause it is really painful?
Not that I know.
The best thing is a frozen water bottle rolled under for a while in the evening and really good shoes!0 -
Italian_Buju wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »I remember a while back you guys were talking about plantar something or other where your feet hurt like a buggar. Well I went to the dr the other day because my one foot hurts like crazy all the time. I just thought it was because I was walking so much more than I had done previously. Nope apparently I have this in my left foot.
Does using a tensor bandage help any cause it is really painful?
Not that I know.
The best thing is a frozen water bottle rolled under for a while in the evening and really good shoes!
I did go and buy new shoes and I am going to try the water bottle tonight . Freezing it as we speak. I don't mean to be whiney but it's just about bringing me to tears tonight.0 -
I am starting on page 1299. I might not get far tonight.0
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That sounds lovely!This isn't a confession, just a sharing of sorts.
I had the BEST weekend.
We did in fact get the house clean Saturday (minus our bedroom and bathroom) and I feel so much less stressed now. The food was incredible and I even got to spend some much needed time with my best friend. I got to experience grilled pineapple for the first time and it is heavenly. I would highly recommend it if you haven't tried it. I would suggest coating it in cinnamon and brown sugar. Seriously...HEAVENLY.
Yesterday, we overslept so didn't make it to church, but it was nice to sleep in. We lied in bed almost all day watching Netflix and cuddling.
Around 5 or so, we got up and got dressed and went to Mooyah's for dinner because I had some gift cards to use. It was incredibly yummy. Mr. Mo had the turkey burger (which I tried and it was delicious. I will be getting that next time) and I had the bacon cheeseburger. I look forward to going again.
Afterwards, we went to the store to pick up a few things and then headed back home. I changed back into my jammies and Mr. Mo made a pound cake since we had strawberries and pineapple left over but only 1 piece of cake left from the night before. After the cake went into the over, he made us a bowl of strawberries, and pineapple pound cake with vanilla bean ice cream to share. I did not log it. Oops.
We finished OITNB (Boo, Piper) and started watching Breaking Bad. We are on season 2 episode 3 already and just started watching yesterday afternoon. What an incredibly well done show!
It was an incredible weekend that was not only fun, but very productive. I am looking forward to spending the week with my honey since Rachael is in Alabama with my mom and stepdad.
Sorry so long, but I just had to share!
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Waving at @nonoelmo. Welcome back!0
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riderfangal wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »I remember a while back you guys were talking about plantar something or other where your feet hurt like a buggar. Well I went to the dr the other day because my one foot hurts like crazy all the time. I just thought it was because I was walking so much more than I had done previously. Nope apparently I have this in my left foot.
Does using a tensor bandage help any cause it is really painful?
Not that I know.
The best thing is a frozen water bottle rolled under for a while in the evening and really good shoes!
I did go and buy new shoes and I am going to try the water bottle tonight . Freezing it as we speak. I don't mean to be whiney but it's just about bringing me to tears tonight.
I understand! I suffered for years with it. It does not both me much anymore as long as I wear supportive shoes all the time. Sadly no sandels for me but worth it. It will get better if you treat it. Advil, stretching, frozen water bottle and good shoes!0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Confession: I have not been pushing myself as much as I feel I should with the exercise because, I feel I am scared to see the results. If that makes any sense?? I have lived in this fat suit for so long now, it's like my personal protective gear. I want to lose this weight, but I think I am a bit scared to see the actual results.
To be honest, I have heard this is not an unusual reaction. Because... and please don't take this the wrong way... weight is armor. You can hide behind it. I can't remember who early on said that when they were heavy the were not noticed, and when they lost weight, people smiled at them, opened doors for them, etc.
Its a cover. You can hide behind it. Be invisible. But you know what? WHY do you want to be invisible. Accept people suck. You don't. So look in the mirror. Be proud of what you have accomplished. And just plain of who you are. Whether you ever lose the weight or not... you have to be happy with yourself. I would guess if you are afraid of losing the weight...because you are afraid of who you will be when you lose the weight...because you are afraid of being noticed... you need to realize weight is window dressing. We all think you are terrific. I think you are married... I imagine he thinks you are terrific. Your dogs (if you have them) probably think you are terrific. I know my cats and horses think I am terrific. Just find yourself (at whatever weight) and realize you are a super great person. It took me 47 years to realize that. And I am sad it did. But I did. And you can too. And if being 125 makes you happy or 225 makes you happy (and healthy... please be healthy) then that is where you need to be.
Thank you Patricia, I appreciate the words of support and kindness. I have dealt with weight most of my life, but have been at a normal weight more than half my life. As we are fond of saying, I wish I weighed what I did when I thought I was fat before. (That was a healthy 135, then). I am still making my way through this process and realizing that I am doing this for me and no one else. My feelings about what I am doing and how I need to go about treating myself to get there are the only ones that matter. We are pretty close in age, so I can understand how you feel about it taking so long to realize what you needed to do. Baby steps, just keep on taking them.
Yep, and I have been overweight most of my life. My 'thin' periods I can count on one hand. Seriously. I have been active most of my adult life, but 'thin' hardly ever and mostly because of an unsustainable diet. I have never been "super" heavy, but have had a lot of weight on my body. Because I hated myself. I was an unattractive, awkward, unhappy kid who was surrounded by gorgeous OR genius OR successful OR both people. Being generally good at a lot of things, but not great (or super smart) at anything, plus being a middle child in a familly of 5, was really hard. Seriously. I know it sounds crazy (seriously crazy) but talking to all of you finally made me realize I am ok. Not for any reason except none of you have a SINGLE expectation of me. And frankly, until today's picture, had never seen me (except in the batcave). So there was no preconceived notions. Or expectations. And learning about why people hate people who are always late (I try not to be now), why people binge eat, struggles with family, sisters, parents, ,etc. have finally made me realize...I am not a freak. And to have a better understanding of people in general. So yes, I am a work in progress, but I am finally starting to figure out I like who I am .... whatever I look like (facially or weigh wise). Plus.. I have killer taste in shoes. That counts for something.
+1 Agreed!
0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Confession: I have not been pushing myself as much as I feel I should with the exercise because, I feel I am scared to see the results. If that makes any sense?? I have lived in this fat suit for so long now, it's like my personal protective gear. I want to lose this weight, but I think I am a bit scared to see the actual results.
To be honest, I have heard this is not an unusual reaction. Because... and please don't take this the wrong way... weight is armor. You can hide behind it. I can't remember who early on said that when they were heavy the were not noticed, and when they lost weight, people smiled at them, opened doors for them, etc.
Its a cover. You can hide behind it. Be invisible. But you know what? WHY do you want to be invisible. Accept people suck. You don't. So look in the mirror. Be proud of what you have accomplished. And just plain of who you are. Whether you ever lose the weight or not... you have to be happy with yourself. I would guess if you are afraid of losing the weight...because you are afraid of who you will be when you lose the weight...because you are afraid of being noticed... you need to realize weight is window dressing. We all think you are terrific. I think you are married... I imagine he thinks you are terrific. Your dogs (if you have them) probably think you are terrific. I know my cats and horses think I am terrific. Just find yourself (at whatever weight) and realize you are a super great person. It took me 47 years to realize that. And I am sad it did. But I did. And you can too. And if being 125 makes you happy or 225 makes you happy (and healthy... please be healthy) then that is where you need to be.
Thank you Patricia, I appreciate the words of support and kindness. I have dealt with weight most of my life, but have been at a normal weight more than half my life. As we are fond of saying, I wish I weighed what I did when I thought I was fat before. (That was a healthy 135, then). I am still making my way through this process and realizing that I am doing this for me and no one else. My feelings about what I am doing and how I need to go about treating myself to get there are the only ones that matter. We are pretty close in age, so I can understand how you feel about it taking so long to realize what you needed to do. Baby steps, just keep on taking them.
Yep, and I have been overweight most of my life. My 'thin' periods I can count on one hand. Seriously. I have been active most of my adult life, but 'thin' hardly ever and mostly because of an unsustainable diet. I have never been "super" heavy, but have had a lot of weight on my body. Because I hated myself. I was an unattractive, awkward, unhappy kid who was surrounded by gorgeous OR genius OR successful OR both people. Being generally good at a lot of things, but not great (or super smart) at anything, plus being a middle child in a familly of 5, was really hard. Seriously. I know it sounds crazy (seriously crazy) but talking to all of you finally made me realize I am ok. Not for any reason except none of you have a SINGLE expectation of me. And frankly, until today's picture, had never seen me (except in the batcave). So there was no preconceived notions. Or expectations. And learning about why people hate people who are always late (I try not to be now), why people binge eat, struggles with family, sisters, parents, ,etc. have finally made me realize...I am not a freak. And to have a better understanding of people in general. So yes, I am a work in progress, but I am finally starting to figure out I like who I am .... whatever I look like (facially or weigh wise). Plus.. I have killer taste in shoes. That counts for something.
Honestly? And not in a "this is the Confessions Thread Club so I'm being kind/supportive" way... I'm completely bewildered as to why you would ever have thought yourself unattractive.
You're VERY pretty... nice, even features... I'll assume you weren't all dolled up for the race so that pic is au naturel... it may be a cliche, but you have a Girl Next Door prettiness and -- even better -- you have the kind of looks that will age really well.
All of which counts for more than killer taste in shoes.
+ a BILLION
BUT it also helps that she really does have AH-MAZING taste in shoes...
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Italian_Buju wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »I remember a while back you guys were talking about plantar something or other where your feet hurt like a buggar. Well I went to the dr the other day because my one foot hurts like crazy all the time. I just thought it was because I was walking so much more than I had done previously. Nope apparently I have this in my left foot.
Does using a tensor bandage help any cause it is really painful?
Not that I know.
The best thing is a frozen water bottle rolled under for a while in the evening and really good shoes!
I did go and buy new shoes and I am going to try the water bottle tonight . Freezing it as we speak. I don't mean to be whiney but it's just about bringing me to tears tonight.
I understand! I suffered for years with it. It does not both me much anymore as long as I wear supportive shoes all the time. Sadly no sandels for me but worth it. It will get better if you treat it. Advil, stretching, frozen water bottle and good shoes!
Thanks @Italian_Buju . Going to do all of the above tonight0
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