Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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@Coastalpath That's terrible! Such a huge amount of stress layers piled over and over on you.
I'm so sorry that you're going through it all. I would feel bad, too! You have the right to feel whatever you're feeling, so always feel free to talk about it with us here, even if you feel like you can't in real life.
I'm not sure what I could possibly say to make it any better, so I'm just sending a massive amount of hugs and good thoughts to you. I really hope something wonderful happens for you soon!0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »
Yay, another one! Do we get to mark October as one humongous birthday party now?MissKalhan wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »I've had an interesting challenge handed to me!
I've been pestering my husband and telling him that I want a Fitbit, because I think it'll motivate me to move around more so I can "win" steps and calories.
He thinks it's an unnecessary fitness gadget, and that I should probably just move around more by myself. 
So, to motivate me a little (since I've been struggling a lot lately, as you all know, and he's been trying to find ways to help me with it) he gave me a challenge: If I can get my weight down to 65 kg by my birthday, he'll buy me a Fitbit. I'm currently at 69.3, and my birthday is on the eighth of October, which means I have 3.5 months to lose 4.3 kilos--very doable.
So, by putting it out here, I'm hoping you guys will help me stay accountable so I can win myself a Fitbit for my birthday! (He'd probably buy it for me anyway, but I really want to win this challenge.)
I always knew we were kindred spirits @Susieq_1994 I'm an October baby as well lol
As long as we celebrate HALF birthdays! Haha My HALF birthday is October 6th 
Mine would be Oct. 5th!
Yay Patricia we're almost birthday twins!! 0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »
During iftar, we were talking, and he was like... "Did you see that post?"
I replied, "What post?"
He said, "The @SusieQ's husband post!"
I was like, "No, not yet, I'm not caught up. What was it about?"
"Apparently the horse lady is demanding that I need to get you a Fitbit right now."
BAHAHAHAH Mr. Susie is funny!0 -
lilaclovebird wrote: »I have for my list:
-Exercise for a minimum of 30 minutes
-Stay within 100 calories of my goal without using earned exercise calories
-Some alcohol (Red wine < 5 oz.)
-Do some gosh darn food prep because my dad keeps eating it all!
(at least he's eating healthy food)
Alright, I know, I'm starting off light. Sometimes we need baby steps.
OH! And look into getting a fitbit since everyone seems to love them so much.
There's a pretty big price range on Fitbits, and don't feel like you have to do top of the line unless you need the special functions. My mother-in-law uses the cheapest one - got it on ebay for $20 - and she loves it and it works great.0 -
Coastalpath wrote: »@Italian_Buju , @kelly_c_77 , @LBuehrle8 , @nonoelmo , @Glinda1971 , @lilaclovebird , @kellienw335 , @riderfangal , @orangesmartie , @Susieq_1994 , @pofoster21 , @ythannah , @xLoveLikeWinterx
Thanks all of you for taking the time to wish me well and offer me advice. I really appreciate it. It's too long, complicated and boring to go into fully but I really appreciate you telling me that it's ok to feel like this. I am a pretty strong (I hate that word!) person but sometimes, it just takes one too many things to tip a person over the edge of happy and I think I am at this stage at the moment. I'm nervous of saying too much in case anyone I know was to read this but I've had so much happen in the last year or so that I feel at the end of my tether.
- Christmas 2013 my step son was rushed to hospital diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. He was so ill, it was an absolute nightmare, and especially around Christmas time. I'll never forget explaining to him that what was wrong with him couldn't just be cut out after he was crying and telling us he would have any operation needed just to fix it. He's done fantastically well to adapt at 13/14 years old but it was a stressful time.
- Living in the South of UK house prices are ridiculous. Husband and I are very stressed not being able to afford a home and having to rent. Rental agencies in my experience have been horrendous. We are treated like second class citizens even though we pay more in rent than any of my friends pay for their mortgage. We eventually have been granted a mortgage but that in itself opens up more stress with trying to find a home on our budget.
- We can't go on holiday (saving for house). We went for one weekend away to Cornwall 2 months ago and came home and our rented house had flooded from top to bottom. It's a town house so all 3 stories are water damaged. 2 months in the works are now due to commence but we have holes in the ceiling and no carpets and living in less than best conditions. Landlord has been excellent, but it's not nice. Work needs to start but now cannot as...
- ...My husband has a serious injury to his shoulder and has been in constant pain for about 5 months. Operation is scheduled in mid July which we know he needs but we are both nervous about. Living with his pain has been heartbreaking but it means we can't get the house fixed until his 3 or 4 weeks of initial recovery have taken place.
- At work 3 members of my senior management team are retiring, 2 of which I work directly with. This change is unsettling and means that my work life is very stressful at the moment, along with lots of extra work. Going home is then not relaxing - see above posts.
- Lastly, and worst - is our infertility. My husband had a reversal just over a year ago, which we paid £3k for and it clearly hasn't worked! We are not completely defined by this but after just having tests done the practitioners (even without the results) are being really negative to us, blaming my husband and saying he shouldn't have had it done in the first place. Ok then, not helpful. He knows this, doesn't need to be told. We are struggling with this coming to terms with the fact I'll never be a mum, and unfortunately this has coincided with 3 of my close friends becoming pregnant pretty much at the same time. I'm so happy for them, but absolutely devastated for myself. They've never made a peep they were even wanting children and I feel like a fool for confiding in 2 of them about my problems, whilst they were 'secretly' pregnant the whole time! I'm so embarrassed, and sad, and feel now I'm being talked about. I feel I don't want to see them because I'm miserable, and don't want to make them feel guilty about being pregnant but by avoiding them I'm probably doing this anyway. It's so hard being happy on one hand and so distraught on the other, I just don't know how to act around them. I know I just need time.
I have to leave work now - but I'll respond to @xLoveLikeWinterx 's post tonight xx
Wow that is a lot on your plate. I am not as good at conveying my thoughts on to paper as some of the other posters on here but know that I am sending you a big hug and positive vibes! I had resigned myself to never having children of my own as well for a variety of reasons and then surprise at 39 years old I became a mom. I actually brought him home 3 days before I turned 40 so you can just never give up hope!0 -
CountessKitteh wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »
Yay, another one! Do we get to mark October as one humongous birthday party now?MissKalhan wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »I've had an interesting challenge handed to me!
I've been pestering my husband and telling him that I want a Fitbit, because I think it'll motivate me to move around more so I can "win" steps and calories. He thinks it's an unnecessary fitness gadget, and that I should probably just move around more by myself.
So, to motivate me a little (since I've been struggling a lot lately, as you all know, and he's been trying to find ways to help me with it) he gave me a challenge: If I can get my weight down to 65 kg by my birthday, he'll buy me a Fitbit. I'm currently at 69.3, and my birthday is on the eighth of October, which means I have 3.5 months to lose 4.3 kilos--very doable.
So, by putting it out here, I'm hoping you guys will help me stay accountable so I can win myself a Fitbit for my birthday! (He'd probably buy it for me anyway, but I really want to win this challenge.)
I always knew we were kindred spirits @Susieq_1994 I'm an October baby as well lol
As long as we celebrate HALF birthdays! Haha My HALF birthday is October 6th
Mine would be Oct. 5th!
Also an October half-birthday! The 14th.
Woo hoo!! More Oct Half bdays!! Yayy!0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »Coastalpath wrote: »@Italian_Buju , @kelly_c_77 , @LBuehrle8 , @nonoelmo , @Glinda1971 , @lilaclovebird , @kellienw335 , @riderfangal , @orangesmartie , @Susieq_1994 , @pofoster21 , @ythannah , @xLoveLikeWinterx
Thanks all of you for taking the time to wish me well and offer me advice. I really appreciate it. It's too long, complicated and boring to go into fully but I really appreciate you telling me that it's ok to feel like this. I am a pretty strong (I hate that word!) person but sometimes, it just takes one too many things to tip a person over the edge of happy and I think I am at this stage at the moment. I'm nervous of saying too much in case anyone I know was to read this but I've had so much happen in the last year or so that I feel at the end of my tether.
- Christmas 2013 my step son was rushed to hospital diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. He was so ill, it was an absolute nightmare, and especially around Christmas time. I'll never forget explaining to him that what was wrong with him couldn't just be cut out after he was crying and telling us he would have any operation needed just to fix it. He's done fantastically well to adapt at 13/14 years old but it was a stressful time.
- Living in the South of UK house prices are ridiculous. Husband and I are very stressed not being able to afford a home and having to rent. Rental agencies in my experience have been horrendous. We are treated like second class citizens even though we pay more in rent than any of my friends pay for their mortgage. We eventually have been granted a mortgage but that in itself opens up more stress with trying to find a home on our budget.
- We can't go on holiday (saving for house). We went for one weekend away to Cornwall 2 months ago and came home and our rented house had flooded from top to bottom. It's a town house so all 3 stories are water damaged. 2 months in the works are now due to commence but we have holes in the ceiling and no carpets and living in less than best conditions. Landlord has been excellent, but it's not nice. Work needs to start but now cannot as...
- ...My husband has a serious injury to his shoulder and has been in constant pain for about 5 months. Operation is scheduled in mid July which we know he needs but we are both nervous about. Living with his pain has been heartbreaking but it means we can't get the house fixed until his 3 or 4 weeks of initial recovery have taken place.
- At work 3 members of my senior management team are retiring, 2 of which I work directly with. This change is unsettling and means that my work life is very stressful at the moment, along with lots of extra work. Going home is then not relaxing - see above posts.
- Lastly, and worst - is our infertility. My husband had a reversal just over a year ago, which we paid £3k for and it clearly hasn't worked! We are not completely defined by this but after just having tests done the practitioners (even without the results) are being really negative to us, blaming my husband and saying he shouldn't have had it done in the first place. Ok then, not helpful. He knows this, doesn't need to be told. We are struggling with this coming to terms with the fact I'll never be a mum, and unfortunately this has coincided with 3 of my close friends becoming pregnant pretty much at the same time. I'm so happy for them, but absolutely devastated for myself. They've never made a peep they were even wanting children and I feel like a fool for confiding in 2 of them about my problems, whilst they were 'secretly' pregnant the whole time! I'm so embarrassed, and sad, and feel now I'm being talked about. I feel I don't want to see them because I'm miserable, and don't want to make them feel guilty about being pregnant but by avoiding them I'm probably doing this anyway. It's so hard being happy on one hand and so distraught on the other, I just don't know how to act around them. I know I just need time.
I have to leave work now - but I'll respond to @xLoveLikeWinterx 's post tonight xx
That is a lot to deal with. Anyone would feel as you do. I don't know much about vasectomies but they can't take the sperm and do artificial insemination?
For those in the thread who get anatomy please don't judge me for that question.
I won't judge, but can I snicker just a little bit? 0 -
Coastalpath wrote: »This is long so don't expect people to read it - just need to get it out!
Like a lot of other posters here I am going through lots of life stresses at the moment and the last few days have felt very sad, numb and unmotivated. I am ever so slightly eating my feelings 'grief bacon' but am logging it all so I can see it in black and white. My confession today is that I am fed up with never feeling as though I am allowed to be stressed or upset. Work, home, health are all suffering at the moment, but I am just expected to suck it up. If one more person says to me 'it could be worse' I might scream. I am silently screaming and unfortunately the pain is beginning to show on my face. I know things could be worse, just doesn't mean that because someone somewhere has it worse than me that I just have to 'be fine' all the time.
Dealing with mixed emotions is so hard - so happy for friends and loved ones who have fantastic things happening, mixed with my grief and sadness for what I am secretly going through. Not wanting to see friends because I don't want to make them miserable mixed with worrying I am not being a good friend by seeing them and sharing in their joys. Or, worse, that I am making them feel guilty for being happy.
Feels better to 'get it out' but I am so sad at the moment and I just wonder when bad things will stop happening!
I read the whole thing and wow, I totally agree with you. I had a coworker say to me on Friday, it could be worse...well it keeps getting worse anyway (now I'm sick before my bday with I dunno what). It is getting to me as well. I don't think anyone knows how bad these last couple months have been.
Even on this thread I'm happy for people who are going through good things but at the same time hurting because I used to feel good about my life too and I'm sad I'm losing my happiness.0 -
Coastalpath wrote: »This is long so don't expect people to read it - just need to get it out!
Like a lot of other posters here I am going through lots of life stresses at the moment and the last few days have felt very sad, numb and unmotivated. I am ever so slightly eating my feelings 'grief bacon' but am logging it all so I can see it in black and white. My confession today is that I am fed up with never feeling as though I am allowed to be stressed or upset. Work, home, health are all suffering at the moment, but I am just expected to suck it up. If one more person says to me 'it could be worse' I might scream. I am silently screaming and unfortunately the pain is beginning to show on my face. I know things could be worse, just doesn't mean that because someone somewhere has it worse than me that I just have to 'be fine' all the time.
Dealing with mixed emotions is so hard - so happy for friends and loved ones who have fantastic things happening, mixed with my grief and sadness for what I am secretly going through. Not wanting to see friends because I don't want to make them miserable mixed with worrying I am not being a good friend by seeing them and sharing in their joys. Or, worse, that I am making them feel guilty for being happy.
Feels better to 'get it out' but I am so sad at the moment and I just wonder when bad things will stop happening!
Vent away! I hope things start feeling better for you soon - and go ahead and scream at the next person so says "it could be worse". That is seriously the worse response ever. Yes, I am aware my crappy situation could be even crappier, that doesn't make current situation any less horrible.0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »
During iftar, we were talking, and he was like... "Did you see that post?"
I replied, "What post?"
He said, "The @SusieQ's husband post!"
I was like, "No, not yet, I'm not caught up. What was it about?"
"Apparently the horse lady is demanding that I need to get you a Fitbit right now."
Haha did it work?
I don't think so. Challenge is still on, though, and I'm feeling fired up after all the encouragement you guys have given me... I can TOTALLY do this! 4.2 kilos to go!
Editing to add... I've told him your name about a thousand times, by the way--He's REALLY bad with names, so he's always like... "Wait, who's Patricia again?" and I'm like.. "The horse lady." Then he's like "Ohhhh, yeah." 0 -
riderfangal wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »@coastalpath I’m really sorry you are struggling. If you can, try and carve a few minutes out of each day to look after yourself, whether its some deep breathing/meditation, exercise, a solitary cup of coffee. It is also important that you acknowledge your stress and feelings, don’t squash them away because others think you should. Everything you think and feel is valid to you.
I’m going to check out the fitbit thread in a moment. I’m having a bit of a sucky morning at work.
Totally randomly, as I drove back from Devon last night, I planned what I might have for my wedding reception. Partly inspired by this thread and partly by a comedienne that was on radio 4 (don’t judge) yesterday. Bear in mind my relationship structure means I will never get married, but still, I planned it…
So I’d have an afternoon tea, catered by my favourite Torquay café, with made to order sandwiches (guests choose from a small list of fillings); bread is home made white or granary. A variety of home made scones, with cherry, or ginger, or white choc chips in. Lots of different fruit jams. And huge bowls of clotted cream. There may also be cinnamon toast. And lots of different cakes, like Victoria sponge, lemon drizzle, chocolate brownie. All served with either tea, coffee (from starbucks) or something sparkling, probably Prosecco or Asti (I’m actually a cherry lambrini kind of girl). Set to a background of string quartet music.
And for evening meal I’d have a Chinese buffet, in the style of the Mongolian barbecue restaurant chain (do they have those in the states?) basically, you take your bowl, choose your meat/veg/noodles/cooking sauce, and they cook it on a flat top stove while you wait.
It will be held in a marquee, on the cliff tops, near where I live (in Devon).
I spent nearly 200 miles planning this. I have no idea what I’d be wearing, nor what the ceremony would be like.
Who cares about the ceremony, can I come to your imagined wedding reception for the food? Be a love and make it halal meat, will you?
Done and of course you are invited! the guests will essentially be our families and you guys lololSusieq_1994 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »I forgot to mention it's mountain -5 days now!!
My new waterproof gloves arrived today
Yay, countdown time! Are you excited? Or just terrified?
Both!! I'm really looking forward to it, I wanna be there and doing it! I think i feel i'm proving something by doing it. I hope i don't let meself down and look like an....donkey.Susieq_1994 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Well. Just got back from the doctors. Saw a different doctor this time. He said NO carbs. Not even yogurt, he said if I don't lose weight on this, we have a serious problem. I asked him if it could be anything else and he said "Well, we could faff around putting you on different diets, but it seems you have put a lot of time and effort into this already so I recommend you go straight to the jugular and cut carbs. It will work, it will always work. It's hard, and it will suck, it will really suck, but you will lose fat." So I went to the nearest bakery, bought myself an apple and raspberry danish (at 9 in the morning) and ate it while driving to work. If I can't have carbs for the next 2 months, I'm going to end it with something amazing. and it was.
Oh, that really stinks. Hope it goes well for you! In his definition of NO carbs, I assume non-starchy veggies are still allowed? I really hope you lose a good amount of weight on this--you've been working SO HARD and not seeing results and I'm sure it's just horribly, awfully frustrating.
... I totally would have done that too. I LOVE danishes.
I don't think they are, he said no root vegetables and no squashes (butternut squash or pumpkin etc). The more I talk about it the harder it becomes. He said no tomato, which pretty much rules out everything. I keep thinking oh well I'll do this and substitute the carbs and then you realise it has a tomato based sauce. It's slowly looking more and more impossible.
Yikes. I couldn't possibly live without tomatoes! So what CAN you eat? 
I'm allergic to tomatoes (and strawberries, raspberries and red peppers) so being tomato free is possible, but requires thought, those suckers are in everything!Susieq_1994 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Well. Just got back from the doctors. Saw a different doctor this time. He said NO carbs. Not even yogurt, he said if I don't lose weight on this, we have a serious problem. I asked him if it could be anything else and he said "Well, we could faff around putting you on different diets, but it seems you have put a lot of time and effort into this already so I recommend you go straight to the jugular and cut carbs. It will work, it will always work. It's hard, and it will suck, it will really suck, but you will lose fat." So I went to the nearest bakery, bought myself an apple and raspberry danish (at 9 in the morning) and ate it while driving to work. If I can't have carbs for the next 2 months, I'm going to end it with something amazing. and it was.
Oh, that really stinks. Hope it goes well for you! In his definition of NO carbs, I assume non-starchy veggies are still allowed? I really hope you lose a good amount of weight on this--you've been working SO HARD and not seeing results and I'm sure it's just horribly, awfully frustrating.
... I totally would have done that too. I LOVE danishes.
I don't think they are, he said no root vegetables and no squashes (butternut squash or pumpkin etc). The more I talk about it the harder it becomes. He said no tomato, which pretty much rules out everything. I keep thinking oh well I'll do this and substitute the carbs and then you realise it has a tomato based sauce. It's slowly looking more and more impossible.
Yikes. I couldn't possibly live without tomatoes! So what CAN you eat?
Any meat, fish, salad, vegetables, fruit (but limited) I'm going to have to read up about it. The problem with England is when you go to the doctors, you only get a 10 minute consultation time. (If you're lucky, I know some which are just 5 minutes) so he only had time to explain why I should do it and the science behind it (most of which I can't remember) so when it came to what I can actually eat, I'm not sure. That and I have a stinking cold so I just want to go back to bed right now rather than tackling a whole new eating habit.
You can book a double appointment with your GP (or anyone in the surgery) so you get longer. Also, most practice nurses are better equipped to deal with nutrition advice.
YOU ARE NOT GOING TO LOOK LIKE A DONKEY!
POF: you haven't seen the size of my pack! of course i'm going to look like a donkey carrying all that stuff!!
Actually, i used donkey rather than a different word in deference to Susie
Okay that reference makes more sense.
And I have to thank Susie...I think I am finally cleaning up my language. I keep finding substitute words to use in here and it's translating into life.
I do giggle everytime I type Oh My Gosh.
And the effort being made for me is very much appreciated from everyone! It makes me feel so much less anxious when reading in here and when checking my feed--my crazy high anxiety about it has faded SO much in the last week or so when approaching MFP and our thread... It's so relieving!
We want you to be happy! You are the glue in this thread!
I second that!!
Aww, total warm fuzzies! Thank you, guys. By the way, does it bother anyone that I'm essentially referring to a group of women as "guys"? Because it's just the way I've always used that word growing up, so I use it automatically. 0 -
orangesmartie wrote: »@coastalpath I’m really sorry you are struggling. If you can, try and carve a few minutes out of each day to look after yourself, whether its some deep breathing/meditation, exercise, a solitary cup of coffee. It is also important that you acknowledge your stress and feelings, don’t squash them away because others think you should. Everything you think and feel is valid to you.
I’m going to check out the fitbit thread in a moment. I’m having a bit of a sucky morning at work.
Totally randomly, as I drove back from Devon last night, I planned what I might have for my wedding reception. Partly inspired by this thread and partly by a comedienne that was on radio 4 (don’t judge) yesterday. Bear in mind my relationship structure means I will never get married, but still, I planned it…
So I’d have an afternoon tea, catered by my favourite Torquay café, with made to order sandwiches (guests choose from a small list of fillings); bread is home made white or granary. A variety of home made scones, with cherry, or ginger, or white choc chips in. Lots of different fruit jams. And huge bowls of clotted cream. There may also be cinnamon toast. And lots of different cakes, like Victoria sponge, lemon drizzle, chocolate brownie. All served with either tea, coffee (from starbucks) or something sparkling, probably Prosecco or Asti (I’m actually a cherry lambrini kind of girl). Set to a background of string quartet music.
And for evening meal I’d have a Chinese buffet, in the style of the Mongolian barbecue restaurant chain (do they have those in the states?) basically, you take your bowl, choose your meat/veg/noodles/cooking sauce, and they cook it on a flat top stove while you wait.
It will be held in a marquee, on the cliff tops, near where I live (in Devon).
I spent nearly 200 miles planning this. I have no idea what I’d be wearing, nor what the ceremony would be like.
Sounds like you know what you will be doing on your next drive 0 -
AngryViking1970 wrote: »Holy smokes, you guys! I thought this thread slowed down on the weekends. LOL I have work to do!!! I also have an interview this afternoon for a promotion here, so if you could spare any extra mojo, I'd appreciate it!
*slinks off to catch up*
Mojo sent!0 -
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Susieq_1994 wrote: »raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »Confession: I've really been struggling with my depression/anxiety issues lately, and today so far is topping as the worst yet. (Some of you may have seen my status about it.) It's taking all I've got not to tell hubby that he's on his own and going back to bed and secluding myself. Realistically I know I can't do that, because my uncle is bringing me my Mema's vanity this afternoon.
Sorry you're feeling so bad! I'd say a day in bed is fine--it's okay to be selfish once in a while. Why can't your husband deal with the vanity and your uncle while you get some rest?
I would love to do that, but I've also got my daughter to look after too, and there's that part of me that doesn't want her to see me like that.
I've been trying to keep myself busy to hopefully somewhat distract myself, but it's only helped a little bit. July 9th can't get here fast enough (my doctors appointment)... 0 -
xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »kelly_c_77 wrote: »lilaclovebird wrote: »Coastalpath wrote: »This is long so don't expect people to read it - just need to get it out!
Like a lot of other posters here I am going through lots of life stresses at the moment and the last few days have felt very sad, numb and unmotivated. I am ever so slightly eating my feelings 'grief bacon' but am logging it all so I can see it in black and white. My confession today is that I am fed up with never feeling as though I am allowed to be stressed or upset. Work, home, health are all suffering at the moment, but I am just expected to suck it up. If one more person says to me 'it could be worse' I might scream. I am silently screaming and unfortunately the pain is beginning to show on my face. I know things could be worse, just doesn't mean that because someone somewhere has it worse than me that I just have to 'be fine' all the time.
Dealing with mixed emotions is so hard - so happy for friends and loved ones who have fantastic things happening, mixed with my grief and sadness for what I am secretly going through. Not wanting to see friends because I don't want to make them miserable mixed with worrying I am not being a good friend by seeing them and sharing in their joys. Or, worse, that I am making them feel guilty for being happy.
Feels better to 'get it out' but I am so sad at the moment and I just wonder when bad things will stop happening!
Your feelings are valid. What you are going through is real and it is difficult for you. We understand and I am sure we have all been there at some point. You ARE allowed to feel this way and you ARE allowed to vent.
Yup. This! Hugs to you.
Coastal (responding to the first post since I never saw it) I feel the same. I pretty much feel like I'm drowning. I'm expected to be the rock for everyone, and most of the time I stoically am. But times like right now, I just want to scream and cry and throw a fit. I want someone to comfort ME and no one is. I'm supposed to hold it together and do 1,000 different things well every day, without fail or exception.
I joke with people a lot that it sucks to be me, because I don't get a "down day", but it's true. I'm expected to be on point 24/7 and I'm struggling. I get the "count your blessings" and "it could be worse" a LOT. Yes, it could be. In the scheme of things, what bothers me could be construed as petty. It doesn't mean it hurts less or I'm less upset. I am grateful for what I have, but aren't I also allowed to be upset too?!
Warning- the below will make me sound like an ungrateful brat. I know this, but they are MY feelings. I'm working on processing them, but it takes time.
I found out on Saturday that good friends of ours (who have 2 boys about the same age as us) are wanting a 3rd. They want to try for a girl. They previously said they were done but the DH changed his mind. I went upstairs and cried. I have wanted 3 kids since I was little. DH said no, 2 was all he could take. He got a vasectomy last Nov so there will only be 2. I agreed because I don't believe in forcing someone to have more kids if they don't want to. I'm not the only one involved in the decision. DH also swore we could look into adopting, which helped ease my feelings about the V.
I have regretted it EVERY DAY since. When I see parents out with 3 or more kids, I'm envious. If one or more is a girl, I am so jealous. I want a daughter. I always have. I love my boys so much, but there is a part of me that will always hurt because I wanted a girl. Both times, the u/s tech told me they were girls and I was blissful for a few weeks until told they were boys. They will never know. I will NEVER tell them they aren't "enough" for me, because they are. I am grateful they are both here and healthy and I would NOT trade them for anything, but I feel a twinge every time I look at a girl or girl baby. DH has also now decided he doesn't want to adopt, so I feel a bit of a pang of "bait and switch" sometimes when I think about it. Mostly I want 3 kids, but not gonna lie, a girl would be awesome.
I feel so alone, because DH is d-o-n-e. 2 is enough for him, he doesn't remotely want a 3rd. Talking to him about it doesn't help, because he has a hard time sympathizing with me. Ok, so he joked around and said I could get a dog to "mother". I agreed. Now last night he is reneging and saying "well, we can get a dog when we get x, y, and z done around the house". This will literally be YEARS. He knows this. Bait and switch #2.
He also said I could look into getting a new car within the month. So I've been plotting out savings, trade-in value, etc. This past weekend he decided nope, my Jeep runs fine for now and maybe we'll think about it in 6 months. Bait and switch #3.
I'm frustrated, I'm sad, I feel like everything I want always comes last after everyone else, and yes I know this is all first world problems, but right now it's rough. On top of it, I'm dieting strictly, so I think I'm just in a funk and crabby from that too. It's the one thing I feel like I'm succeeding at, though, so I don't want to give it up. I have 10.5 lb to go. I'm SO close. I just want to accomplish Something, ya know?
*ok, sorry for the pathetic vent. Carry on*
I'm so sorry you're dealing with it sounds like a bunch of bait and switches. Hugs to you and kick last few pounds to the curb!0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Guys, remember that London Dairy new ice cream flavor I mentioned? The Red Velvet Cheesecake one? IT IS TO DIE FOR. Seriously. It's SO good! It has swirls of ooey gooey red velvet caramel-textured stuff, chunks of a dense, chewy red velvet cake, and generously sized chunks of cheesecake. The ice cream itself has a cream cheese-like taste, similar to cream cheese frosting but not as sweet or rich. SO GOOD.
The other two are okay. I'm just sad that the cheesecake one is finished because I shared it with my husband (he didn't like the other two).
This was not nice. I want this now.
Oops. I'm sorry! I figured that since you get all the good ice cream in the United States, you'd be able to get this one or at least one like it.
Oh I am sure I can. I just can't. You know?
Makes sense!WestCoastJo82 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Okay, no one really took me up on our daily motivation, but I am going to go ahead and share progress anyway.
Steps: 19, 903 (vs. 25K goal) due to rain and help at barn, as I didn't do quite as much walking as I might normally due as I had help. +
Never got to my run. I had forgotten my shoes so had clothes but no shoes at barn. So had to come home (kiss of death) and try to motivate myself. Well, after eating, and dealing with a washing machine mess (standing water due to clogged filter from washing bathroom mat that disintegrated) it was 10:00. I just couldn't get myself out then. +
No alcohol +
Did not work on dissertation. For the above reasons.
So not great. Today:
Flying to Dallas on a 6:40 flight (hence being up so early) for a meeting. So... this is really going to be a challenge but going to try to:
Walk 10K
Run 1 hour
Work in dissertation (I will use the plane trip to read some articles I have lined up for my literature review)
No alcohol (this will also be challenging as I am going out with some of my team for 'drinks' as I am in Dallas and we don't see each other much.
So...on 3 hours sleep off I go. I'll probably check in at airport, etc. Have a great day all.
Way to go POF! I think you did pretty well on your goals, given what life threw (sp? that looks wrong, but I think it's right) at you. Man, three hours of sleep would have me sleeping on the plane rather than dissertating, but way to be a good grad student
I like this - are we going to do this here or in the Batcave? I'm sure I'll find out as I catch up this morning, but I'll contribute, too.
Yesterday I just *barely* hit my 10K steps. 100+ weather in the northwest, which is crazy hot for us, it should be 75ish. I was supposed to get a good step count in by walking Wilbur, but he was having none of it. Poor delicate 80 pound baby I did a 3 mile run first thing in the morning and then errands/food prep for the rest of the day.
Today, I've already gotten my SL 5X5 in, and walked to work, will walk home and go to the gym for an Insanity class (supposed to be kickboxing, but swapped out for the month). With Wilbur's mini-walks I should hit about 15K steps.
Is it such a bad thing that I'm picturing you walking an enormous, fat, pot-bellied pig whenever you say his name? Because I totally do, thanks to Charlotte's Web--Wilbur will always be a pig name for me.Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »
During iftar, we were talking, and he was like... "Did you see that post?"
I replied, "What post?"
He said, "The @SusieQ's husband post!"
I was like, "No, not yet, I'm not caught up. What was it about?"
"Apparently the horse lady is demanding that I need to get you a Fitbit right now."
BAHAHAHAH Mr. Susie is funny!
Yup, he is. I'm constantly laughing at him, so much so that he calls me his gigglebox.
Random and completely off-topic: With all the housekeeper talk, I wondered if anyone here knows how common it is to have a LIVE-IN maid in the Middle East? Almost every family that's middle income or higher has a housemaid living in their house--it's so popular that houses are built with a "maid's room" in the blueprints! In my family, we grew up having them, but I've always hated it SO MUCH because I really treasure my privacy--she was never allowed to come anywhere near my room or my stuff unless I was supervising, and generally I cleaned and cooked for myself, even when I was living at home. I hate the whole idea of it, and completely banished the idea of a live-in maid as soon as I got married, which my husband thankfully agrees with me about.
Here in Saudi Arabia, since women aren't allowed to drive, almost everyone also has a driver living with them as well--usually in an outdoor room. Driver's rooms are also a very common built-in feature of Saudi Arabian houses.
I'm just curious if this knowledge is commonly-known, or if it's going to surprise everyone. 0 -
confession: i'm attempting to "date" again...and it's seemingly terrible. i think staying home, getting drunk and dancing around my kitchen with the dogs might be a way better option.
went out with a dude on saturday evening. went to a local bar for beverages and chatting, and had a really fun time. i'd had a few dates previously that were kinda meh, so i thought ok cool, finally a fun time!
have some beverages, play a bunch of songs on the jukebox (are they still called that?), lots of fun convo and eventually the evening wears down and it's time to call it a night. and dude's like oh, i'm having such a good time with you, let's go back to your place to "snuggle" for a while. (and yes, he literally said snuggle).
ummm...no?
and he starts to get all huffy about it. and i'm like dude, i had a lot of fun on this FIRST date, but i think there should be a few more before i'm inviting you back to my place. and he starts freaking out, wanting to know how i couldn't trust him, he's such a good guy and just liked being with me so much he didn't see what the big deal was. he just wants to hold me and snuggle for awhile! so we argue back and forth about it for a few minutes and finally i say i'm done, have a good night and leave.
seriously? yeah because trying to guilt me into letting you come over to my place is an AWESOME first date.
then i get home and i have all these msg's from him saying he's leaving the dating website he found me on because he just can't handle how ppl are, and what was my problem that i couldn't trust him?!
well duh, we live in the same area, of course that makes him trustworthy!
sigh...
Dude, huge red flags. Anyone who gets huffy about you not inviting them home should NOT BE INVITED HOME. Don't let a few bad dates turn you off dating though - even though dancing about the kitchen with your cute doggies does sound like fun.0 -
Coastalpath wrote: »I have to leave work now - but I'll respond to @xLoveLikeWinterx 's post tonight xx
That is too much for one person to deal with! I don't have advice, but we are always here to listen. (Hugs)
0
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