Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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lilaclovebird wrote: »@orangesmartie....I said...the "L" word.....
I am mortified. BUT to this point, he has chosen to ignore it altogether and texted me about what an idiot one of our coworkers is.
ETA: I did send him a text that said "Immediately after that text, I passed out. Because that's what you call falling asleep after 4+ glasses of wine"
Ooooh the L word! In vino veritas, as they say
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Every wedding I've been to with divorced parents that's what I've seen done. Little girl needs to get over the fact her parents aren't together and never will be again. I know that's harsh but seriously c'mon.
Yea, I was kind thinking this. Danny's dad has already made it clear he won't be attending Danny or his sisters wedding to avoid their mum. I don't mind, but I feel sorry for Danny's sister as her dad has pretty much said he won't walk her down the isle.
Aw that is sad
I understand not being near each other but for the sake of your kids you should at least be able to avoid each other for one night at the same function. 0 -
Every wedding I've been to with divorced parents that's what I've seen done. Little girl needs to get over the fact her parents aren't together and never will be again. I know that's harsh but seriously c'mon.
Yea, I was kind thinking this. Danny's dad has already made it clear he won't be attending Danny or his sisters wedding to avoid their mum. I don't mind, but I feel sorry for Danny's sister as her dad has pretty much said he won't walk her down the isle.
Aw that is sad I understand not being near each other but for the sake of your kids you should at least be able to avoid each other for one night at the same function.
My brother hates his ex and was like this at first. Until someone pointed out that he's a grownup man who is hurting his children.
My brother's ex cheated on him with one of his friends and is now marrying him which is why he hates her.0 -
Every wedding I've been to with divorced parents that's what I've seen done. Little girl needs to get over the fact her parents aren't together and never will be again. I know that's harsh but seriously c'mon.
Yea, I was kind thinking this. Danny's dad has already made it clear he won't be attending Danny or his sisters wedding to avoid their mum. I don't mind, but I feel sorry for Danny's sister as her dad has pretty much said he won't walk her down the isle.
Aw that is sad I understand not being near each other but for the sake of your kids you should at least be able to avoid each other for one night at the same function.
Yes. This.
Also- @lilaclovebird... was it just the "L" word or "in L" because there is a difference...
If it's brought up, you could just say that you love him in the sense that...you love your time spent together, how he makes you feel, makes you laugh, the way he surprises you with Cheetos (or whatever it was) etc... Just play it off as a compliment to him rather than a confession of your love..as in being in love.
And you could always just throw in the 4 glasses of wine reminder for good measure.
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kelly_c_77 wrote: »Every wedding I've been to with divorced parents that's what I've seen done. Little girl needs to get over the fact her parents aren't together and never will be again. I know that's harsh but seriously c'mon.
Yea, I was kind thinking this. Danny's dad has already made it clear he won't be attending Danny or his sisters wedding to avoid their mum. I don't mind, but I feel sorry for Danny's sister as her dad has pretty much said he won't walk her down the isle.
Aw that is sad I understand not being near each other but for the sake of your kids you should at least be able to avoid each other for one night at the same function.
Yes. This.
Also- @lilaclovebird... was it just the "L" word or "in L" because there is a difference...
If it's brought up, you could just say that you love him in the sense that...you love your time spent together, how he makes you feel, makes you laugh, the way he surprises you with Cheetos (or whatever it was) etc... Just play it off as a compliment to him rather than a confession of your love..as in being in love.
And you could always just throw in the 4 glasses of wine reminder for good measure.
Oh em gee, Kelly this is awesome advice!! So smart!!0 -
orangesmartie wrote: »lilaclovebird wrote: »@orangesmartie....I said...the "L" word.....
I am mortified. BUT to this point, he has chosen to ignore it altogether and texted me about what an idiot one of our coworkers is.
ETA: I did send him a text that said "Immediately after that text, I passed out. Because that's what you call falling asleep after 4+ glasses of wine"
Ooooh the L word! In vino veritas, as they say
I honestly think that might be what he's afraid of.
Although all the other women who has said they 'love him' actually stalked him in semi-threatening ways.
I'm worried he might think that I'm like them. Which I'm not. I'm not totally obsessed.
He's going to spend his 'weekend' in Houston, so I'm going to work on some projects with my mom and just give him some space.0 -
lilaclovebird wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »lilaclovebird wrote: »@orangesmartie....I said...the "L" word.....
I am mortified. BUT to this point, he has chosen to ignore it altogether and texted me about what an idiot one of our coworkers is.
ETA: I did send him a text that said "Immediately after that text, I passed out. Because that's what you call falling asleep after 4+ glasses of wine"
Ooooh the L word! In vino veritas, as they say
I honestly think that might be what he's afraid of.
Although all the other women who has said they 'love him' actually stalked him in semi-threatening ways.
I'm worried he might think that I'm like them. Which I'm not. I'm not totally obsessed.
He's going to spend his 'weekend' in Houston, so I'm going to work on some projects with my mom and just give him some space.
I doubt he does, if he's been in touch about other things. Maybe it's something he'd rather wait to talk about until he's with you.
ETA: I would leave it be. Too much protesting about drink will come across as it playing on your mind and being a big deal and I think be more likely to freak him out.0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »
No problem dissent is good for the soul (friendly dissent).
I read that as "dessert is good for the soul"
So did I and both are true, just not every day/every meal.
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rungirl1973 wrote: »Since many of you are more up to speed on wedding etiquette stuff than I am... a question regarding how divorced parents are supposed to be arranged.
My SO and his ex-wife have been divorced for many years and their daughter is getting married soon. The SO obviously has a partner, the ex-w does not.
I have a nasty feeling that daughter is planning on seating the SO with his ex (based on a random remark she made recently)... is that the way it's supposed to be done? In other words, am I breaking some sacred law of wedding propriety if I protest this?
Background: historically, daughter has cut me out of a few events which her mother would be attending, throwing her dad and his ex together. Her excuse is that having both her mother and me present would be "awkward".
I would think it's very inappropriate and they should not be seated together. We did not seat my husband's parents together at our wedding, they've been divorced for over 20 years.
I think your SO should be the one to protest it, though.
The last wedding I went to with divorced parents the seating on the front row bride's side was Dad's SO, Dad, Mom, Mom's SO. They sucked it up during the ceremony and sat at different tables during the reception. On the groom's side it was Dad, Mom, Mom's SO during the ceremony. If I remember right, there was a dad's table and a Mom's table at the reception with the couple in between at a table for two.
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orangesmartie wrote: »lilaclovebird wrote: »So, my mother is FINALLY back from the Dallas area and is home with us. She came home Friday night and I worked so I went to work with the intention of coming home Saturday morning and having one glass of wine with my frittata and heading to bed (nightshift worker). Well my mother poured me another glass of wine and I stayed up until about 10am with her before heading to bed... after FOUR glasses of wine.
I fell asleep but not before sending an unfortunate text to SSP.....
Thus far he's ignoring it and I'm content with that. If we could just pretend it never even happened that would be AWESOME.
But I don't think it is likely something he will forget and I hate that my inhibitions lowered after only 20 ounces of wine over the course of 3 hours...
It's a mushy embarrassing text and I am afraid he will run away screaming. It's only been like 3 months... I would run away screaming...I want to run away screaming FOR him...I just want to buy a big tub of The Great Divide Blue Bell Ice Cream and eat the WHOLE thing.
You know you have to tell us what is said now
This. If you haven't already. (and a little judgment toward your mom, who pours a sleepy person 4 glasses of wine?)
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Every wedding I've been to with divorced parents that's what I've seen done. Little girl needs to get over the fact her parents aren't together and never will be again. I know that's harsh but seriously c'mon.
Yea, I was kind thinking this. Danny's dad has already made it clear he won't be attending Danny or his sisters wedding to avoid their mum. I don't mind, but I feel sorry for Danny's sister as her dad has pretty much said he won't walk her down the isle.
Aw that is sad I understand not being near each other but for the sake of your kids you should at least be able to avoid each other for one night at the same function.
Yeah, that was what I thought when I first read it too. What could make you miss your own child's wedding?0 -
Glinda1971 wrote: »Since many of you are more up to speed on wedding etiquette stuff than I am... a question regarding how divorced parents are supposed to be arranged.
My SO and his ex-wife have been divorced for many years and their daughter is getting married soon. The SO obviously has a partner, the ex-w does not.
I have a nasty feeling that daughter is planning on seating the SO with his ex (based on a random remark she made recently)... is that the way it's supposed to be done? In other words, am I breaking some sacred law of wedding propriety if I protest this?
Background: historically, daughter has cut me out of a few events which her mother would be attending, throwing her dad and his ex together. Her excuse is that having both her mother and me present would be "awkward".
In short no!! Completely unacceptable. You are completely in the right to protest that. And your SO should be completely on board with that.
I can't even articulate how wrong and unacceptable that is. If you are old enough to be getting married then you should be adult enough to realize that your parents are no longer together and accept their new relationships even if it's hard.
He'd be on board with it right up to the point where she whined, "But it's MY WEDDING, you HAVE to sit together, you're my PARENTS" and then he would give in. He knows even less about wedding "rules" than I do.Glinda1971 wrote: »My sister is getting married next month and she actually has to do assigned tables to ensure her SO's parents are nowhere each other.
But now I've read the rest of the comments please make your other half put his foot down. You should never be relegated to sitting by yourself at all at that wedding. (Unless you want to bring me as your own+1)
Now that I'm armed with the knowledge that they're not supposed to be forced together, I have a stronger case. I'm memorizing that bit about "if you are old enough to be getting married then you should be adult enough..." to use in my argument, lol.
I think the intention may be to seat me with SO's father (widower) and son (single, lives in Toronto). I doubt either of them will have a +1 so I will undoubtedly appear to be the age-inappropriate date of one of them.
Perhaps I should bring you... at least you'll ensure that I'm adequately fed! 0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »I cried most of this morning. My husband jokingly said he thought I could probably stand to lose another 100 pounds.. just good natured teasing, nothing abnormal, and I cried... for hours.. over something as stupid as a joke... =/
I'm sorry I know everyone was nice about this but no matter what weight you are that is not nice. I hope he regrets it now. Don't let him get you down. Hugs even though I don't know you!
I don't necessarily agree. Since my husband has this sense of humor, I can see the teasing behind it--It's definitely not appropriate for all audiences and depends on the dynamic of the marriage, but I don't get hurt or take it seriously when Mr. Susie makes jokes like these, and I make similar ones with him. Different strokes for different folks and all that.
HOWEVER, if these types of jokes hurt my feelings, he would never make them again--I know that for sure and he has mentioned it to me more than once. If the jokes were made with the intention of hurting someone or with the knowledge that it would hurt them, that's obviously a totally different ballgame.
Maybe so but a woman's weight is almost never something to joke about. I can't imagine if you are married to someone you wouldn't know that would hurt (if your wife is one who cares).
I have the opposite "problem" from this. I refer to my extra weight as "my squish" because it's what keeps me squishy (like, I have really strong core muscles...but you can't see them - ha!), and Dave gets annoyed with me when I talk about having to get rid of it because it's stupid. He's all "you're perfect the way you are" and junk. Which is sweet, but not the attitude I need to get my butt to the gym. 0 -
Since many of you are more up to speed on wedding etiquette stuff than I am... a question regarding how divorced parents are supposed to be arranged.
My SO and his ex-wife have been divorced for many years and their daughter is getting married soon. The SO obviously has a partner, the ex-w does not.
I have a nasty feeling that daughter is planning on seating the SO with his ex (based on a random remark she made recently)... is that the way it's supposed to be done? In other words, am I breaking some sacred law of wedding propriety if I protest this?
Background: historically, daughter has cut me out of a few events which her mother would be attending, throwing her dad and his ex together. Her excuse is that having both her mother and me present would be "awkward".
I read a lot of wedding etiquette this year thanks to my own, and it's my understanding that it's now seen as antiquated to separate couples during the reception (although still necessary for the bridal party dates during the ceremony for obvious standing-up-front reasons). So "head tables" in that weird medieval fashion aren't being done so much because people have finally figured out that everyone has a better time if they get to sit at a table with the person they came with, both in the case of wedding party members and divorced parents. Prevailing trends are thankfully that you do whatever will make your guests most comfortable, and that is NOT splitting up your dad and his SO and making her sit with a bunch of people she might not know well at all.
Etiquette isn't about following rules for the sake of it, it should always be to do whatever will make the people you're entertaining the most comfortable, and a lot of bridal couples seem to forget that completely. It stops being "your day" the second you invite people and you become 100% percent responsible for hosting them graciously and appropriately because it's your party. I think it's incredibly rude to put your own wants ahead of your guests' comfort, and I hope this girl gets that through her head too.0 -
Since many of you are more up to speed on wedding etiquette stuff than I am... a question regarding how divorced parents are supposed to be arranged.
My SO and his ex-wife have been divorced for many years and their daughter is getting married soon. The SO obviously has a partner, the ex-w does not.
I have a nasty feeling that daughter is planning on seating the SO with his ex (based on a random remark she made recently)... is that the way it's supposed to be done? In other words, am I breaking some sacred law of wedding propriety if I protest this?
Background: historically, daughter has cut me out of a few events which her mother would be attending, throwing her dad and his ex together. Her excuse is that having both her mother and me present would be "awkward".
I think it generally depends on the relationship between the parents. I have friends getting married with both having divorced folks. Hers get along just fine (they've been divorced for almost 20 years) and his won't speak to one another. She's still planning to seat each with their respective family though, not with one another. No "Parents Table" kind of thing.
I don't even intend to seat my folks with Dave's at my wedding, so...0 -
lilaclovebird wrote: »@ythannah Honestly, I would talk with your SO's daughter. There is nothing "awkward" about having you and your SO's ex attending the same events. See if you can find a middle ground.
Together for the ceremony and separate for the reception is generally what I see in situations like this.
Maybe get your SO's ex in the conversation as well. Most divorcees will come together and work to agree if there is a benefit to consensus for their children.
The awkwardness arises because so far daughter has managed to keep up apart very successfully, I've never met his ex. Not difficult considering she lives several hundred miles away and only sees daughter a few times a year.
From everything I've heard, she'd be civil and polite... and I'm certainly capable of that. We have a few interests in common (both major dog lovers) so we could probably even carry on a friendly conversation... gasp!0 -
I went to PetSmart yesterday after about five weeks. So I bought quite a few cans of food, couple months worth. The cashier asked me how many cats I had.....when I said one, he replied, "Um, is it a mountain lion?"0
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MelissaPhippsFeagins wrote: »rungirl1973 wrote: »Since many of you are more up to speed on wedding etiquette stuff than I am... a question regarding how divorced parents are supposed to be arranged.
My SO and his ex-wife have been divorced for many years and their daughter is getting married soon. The SO obviously has a partner, the ex-w does not.
I have a nasty feeling that daughter is planning on seating the SO with his ex (based on a random remark she made recently)... is that the way it's supposed to be done? In other words, am I breaking some sacred law of wedding propriety if I protest this?
Background: historically, daughter has cut me out of a few events which her mother would be attending, throwing her dad and his ex together. Her excuse is that having both her mother and me present would be "awkward".
I would think it's very inappropriate and they should not be seated together. We did not seat my husband's parents together at our wedding, they've been divorced for over 20 years.
I think your SO should be the one to protest it, though.
The last wedding I went to with divorced parents the seating on the front row bride's side was Dad's SO, Dad, Mom, Mom's SO. They sucked it up during the ceremony and sat at different tables during the reception. On the groom's side it was Dad, Mom, Mom's SO during the ceremony. If I remember right, there was a dad's table and a Mom's table at the reception with the couple in between at a table for two.
Mother sat in front on groom's side. We put my husband's father next to my parents. At the reception, they were separate.0 -
Italian_Buju wrote: »I went to PetSmart yesterday after about five weeks. So I bought quite a few cans of food, couple months worth. The cashier asked me how many cats I had.....when I said one, he replied, "Um, is it a mountain lion?"
We have 5 cats now. We went to the store and bought 24 cans of cat food, and the cashier asked if we were cat people. Nah, we just like having cat food on hand. Lol0 -
Italian_Buju wrote: »Every wedding I've been to with divorced parents that's what I've seen done. Little girl needs to get over the fact her parents aren't together and never will be again. I know that's harsh but seriously c'mon.
Yea, I was kind thinking this. Danny's dad has already made it clear he won't be attending Danny or his sisters wedding to avoid their mum. I don't mind, but I feel sorry for Danny's sister as her dad has pretty much said he won't walk her down the isle.
Aw that is sad I understand not being near each other but for the sake of your kids you should at least be able to avoid each other for one night at the same function.
Yeah, that was what I thought when I first read it too. What could make you miss your own child's wedding?
Yeah well. I don't know if we will ever go to any of my step kids' stuff in the future. The mother has made it her job to turn them both against us/me. We haven't seen step daughter since May (mother won't let us see her), and step son since we got married, March 2014.
Any time there is a conversation with the mother, it turns into her yelling and throwing a fit about something or other. I just don't see us being around her on purpose ever again.
We've spent $15k on a lawyer / court so far since we've been married, but his ex still refuses to follow the court orders. We're done spending the money chasing after a relationship that it doesn't seem the kids want at this point either. It's sad, but I don't think we're alone. Hopefully, things will improve when they get out from under her thumb.0
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